Topic : 11/06 Introducing the House of Judgment

 Dr. Phil, and thsoe on these boards,

"Out beyond ideas of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field, i will meet you there." Rumi 
That field is non-judgment!!! 
That field is love: seeking to understand from the heart my own feelings and unmet needs/desires and seeking out those persons freely open and willing to meet my needs/desires, without force, without demands.  That field is caring and genuinely empathizing (reflecting) others feelings and unmet needs from the heart, not the head, through real love...the love we each truly are...the light and divinity we truly are diretly linked to our source, what most call God and I call REAL LOVE!

Fritz Perls said, "lose your mind and come to your senses"...for me this means teach others with your actions how you want to be treated by being kind and assertive vs. aggressive or passive....aggression and passivity come out of being afraid and dishonest about ones shadow self; assertive comes from knwoing thyself and being truly loving to oneself and not enabling dysfunctional unhealthy behavior.

Steve S.

Doctor House Introducing Judge Ment Phil The. What kind Judges are you talking about? I donot underst---

and that. See yon Tuesday November 06th, 2007. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.--------------------------- 

Hi Dr Phil,

I think I could be the least judgmental person in my house.  I am a white christian republican woman.  I have been married 24 years and have two children a boy and a girl.  Our family consists of:  1 gay 1 64 year old black male married to a 37 yearold white woman two biracial children, 1 preacher who use to be married and is divorced and addicted to porn and homeless, 1 exsister in law, 1polish sister in law a democrat mom and a metodist mom so baptism is an issue 1 sister who is a strong homeschool mom and is almost amish like 1 brother in law who is bipolar and they have 6 kids 1 nephew who is a soldier in the marines and has been to Iraq twice and is now an embassy guard. 1 who wants to be a police officer 1 niece who is almost anorexic 1 who only believes in nutrion for health not doctors , a very domineering mother in law both of our dads died early and we all get toether under one roof and celebrate holidays ect.  and we do not have any murders!  So Like the Bible says you can not be judgmental just mental!  My daugther is at Great Lakes Christian college studying to be a Christian couselor.  I hope it does not take to long we need her. PS. I have had my two nephews their mother and their two dogs living with me for 3 months and I think I am still sane maybe I forgot two adopted brother and a sister both my husband and I grew up with parents who were care givers for foster children my mom had 100 in our house over 20 years and by mother in law about 20 teens

                                           Lori Greer

Those self-righteous bible thumping people drive me nuts!! My son's wife is like that, and we just don't get along.

 

I am looking forward to seeing how Dr. Phil handles a situation like that. I sure need some tips. You can be sure I'll not miss this show!! Even if I'm not home though, I record it. I've learned so much from the good doc. Love ya, Dr. Phil!!

  
Thank you for this pearl of wisdom - Steve S.:
    Fritz Perls said, "lose your mind and come to your senses"...for me this means teach others with your actions how you want to be treated bybeing kind and assertive vs. aggressive or passive....aggression andpassivity come out of being afraid and dishonest about ones shadowself; assertive comes from knwoing thyself and being truly loving tooneself and not enabling dysfunctional unhealthy behavior.


  As a classroom teacher in a small elementary school I thought that all teachers professed this kind of knowledge for their peers colleagues and the commnity at large.  My shock came when I moved to the secondary level and discovered that my colleagues undermined their authority by demonstrating dysfunctional behavior which seem to be a reflection of the students unhealthy  rebellious behavior.  While the students were testing their limits, the colleagues seem to think that they were gaining authority.

   How can society promote assertive rather than aggressive/passive  modeling.  It seems to me that some people have caught on....but not enough.

Shayna 22

I grew up in a small town where everyone thought they knew each others business. They also spent thousands of dollars to keep up with the Jones'.  (There is a Jones family in every small town) I spent my working career doing business and working with accounts.  At a very young age I learned not to judge people by how they spoke or how they dressed.  The ones dressed to "the nines" most of the time were in Credit card hell and the ones that seemed simple and plain, didn't make lots of money but saved all they made, were the ones who paid their bills on time and usually in cash money.  It was amazing.  I have learned that the quiet man, dressed poorly in the back of the room is sitting there so no one can see the bulge in the back of is pants from his wallet.  I also learned the person who says "I'm just an old country boy" is sniffing out that wallet, and the one that professes his faith in the first meeting is just like the old country boy and neither one of them will be paying their bills in cash, if they pay them at all.  I have learned it's not how much you earn, it's how you take care of what you earn and what you own.   I have tired to share this theory with young folks and those around me, and they think it takes a rich man to become rich.  It just takes some great tips on buying (like never pay retail and even if it says it's on sale, it's your job to check the prices and make sure, stay stocked up on groceries so you can always buy on sale, buy your clothes at the final reduced price (who cares about style anyway, except people who wear no panties (just joking), but dress in a way that fashion does not dictate your seasonal clothes so you can wear them until you are tired of them or they are worn out,and take care of the little things that need done around the house before e everything needs replaced.  Also, keep your car clean, it's a big investment that declines in value everyday.  Take care of it and it will take care of you.  I am shocked how my simple depression era thinking has prepared me for retirement with more than I ever dreamed to have and to own.  Don't be a sucker for designer labels unless you buy them with a slight flaw at a warehouse resale joint.  I do and get compliments each time I go out. I spent my money on my glasses and my shoes, as those are the two most important fashion items, because if we can walk and see, we truly are blessed and in fashion. If you don't take care of your pennies, you will never see a dime. My personal quote, as far as I know.  Stay out of debt and help your community by buying at the Salvation Army, donating clothes back to them that you have bought else where and enjoy the freedom this lifestyle wll give to you.  Within a year you will be shocked at your bank balance.  I can tell you that  I honesty don't know what my neighbors drive and I don't care. I never open the blinds on the front windows as I don't want to know how they live.  I am here if they need me, but if we don't look too closely, then we cannot see clear enough to cause envy.  Living in Freedomville!!! (With all of my dimes, created by pennies)

I was in the audience for this show and it really saddened me to see these people like this. I feel their ALL very sad people deep within, as I found that out about myself. I believe something GOOD WILL come out of the Dr. Phil house. I just wish I could be there with them to support them if needed. (the caretaker within me I guess!!) Good luck to you all.  Carol B.

This is going to be an interesting show, I do get a kick out of listening to people like that.

However I will say, that most of us have made snap judgements about people (yes, myself included in that ) without even knowing the person or all the circumstances, some people do it to level the playing field so to speak between themselves and a person they feel inferior to.

Read these message boards, most of the posters do it (whether intentionally or not ) and again I'm not above admitting that I do as well, but these people are extreme.

There have been many experiments done, remember when the Doc and his son Jay did the experiment by dressing up Jay and one of the staffers, and the response they received from others ?  I would bet if you asked any of those people that rejected them, they would say "No, I never judge people on appearances ".

How many Blondes out there have been spoken down to ? You could have a masters degree, but blond and pretty, well you must be an airhead.

How many have had the snap judgement made as soon as someone finds out you are from a certain part of the country ( you might be a Redneck if.... ) or even a certain part of the city.

Who gets served first at a car lot, the person in jeans and tee shirt, or the person in a business suit ?  The person in jeans and tee shirt might be a millionaire, the suit soo far in debt it'll take their lifetime to get out, but the truth is we don't KNOW.

I'll go out on a limb with my own snap judgement here and say we're all guilty to a point, just not as extreme as these people, I wonder what makes them think this way ? This could get ugly.

I am not surprised we have a crazy bible basher but i AM surprised to see the black lady. Yes i said black lady. I did this because i don't want to assume she has ties to Africa by calling her African-American. It's entirely possible she has roots elsewhere. Hell there was a race of black scots.

 I like it:  "If you don't take care of your pennies, you will never see a dime. You are certainly a positive thinker now. "
BTW I like my shades open and my lips slightly parted.  If my chit chat doesn't hurt anyone, I'll try to connect.
:)