Topic : 06/19 Finding Alex

   The key to Alex running away again is in the letter she wrote to her mother saying that she felt like she could not please her mother and that she felt like a failure. Seems to me this issue was not completely addressed. Just sending Alex away again to another RTF will not help with the situation when she gets back home. I suggest that Dr. Phil's program starts having a mediator come to the home and help work through issues with Alex and her mother after she gets back home, kind of like a "Nanny 911".

  Kids needs to have much positive reinforcement when they are doing things right, or even if they are trying to do things right. Sometimes it is the littlest good things kids need to have acknowlodged and complimented. Especially if they have a history of negative behavior.

   It is very possible that even though Alex's mother loves her and is trying her best to be a strict parent, she still needs to tell Alex about everything still does right and reward her accordingly with mutually agreeable and healthy rewards. For example, if she wants a friend over to the house, she could have one or two, but it would have to be supervised, or eventually a supervised outing, like to a movie. Alex wants some freedom, but it has to be supervised and earned, and must be non-destructive and healthy. 

   It is NOT an easy task knowing what to say or do, or how to handle problems once the child is back in the home. Having them in the Dr. Phil house or at a RTF does not give them the tools or skills for the reality back home, which as you saw, Alex just ran away once home.  I think a coach and mediator at home would give both mom and child the best chance of success so old negative patterns are not repeated.

   It especially touched my heart when Dr Phil said his staff works with him because they really care and want to make a difference. I too want to make a difference and hope this posting gets noticed by the staff regarding the home mediator idea.

God bless,

Lita

Come on Dr. Phil, I can't beleve that you are still throwing money and resources at this kid. I agree that we shouldn't give up on kids easily, but this girl was laughng at you all. That cock of her head, that smirk, the mumbling. Total disrespect. AND all you could do was say "let's find a new place for you, so we can spend a few hundred thousand more dollars on you.  We'll look like the saviors of you. We'll show everybody that we are willing to spend whatever it costs to get you straightened out." (I know you know of a thousand better thngs to do with that money)

 Instead of being tough on her. Holding her accountable. You're throwing water on the fire, again!

WHY?  Is she really worth it? Does she even care? All she could do was blame her Mom for messing her up again.  Not to mention, all this after her Mom threatens you and is going to sue you!!!  So you reward their bad behavior with more help and money?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO? - THROW HER ASS IN JUVENILE FOR A WHILE! Bet that would teach her some respect. Let those girls teach her a few things about how awful life is. Bet her home with her Mom woud start t look really good!

This from a teacher who tries to undo the damage that this type of permissiveness and enabling causes  EVERYDAY!

                                                        E--M--A--N--C--I--P--A--T--E--!!!!!

All I can see is one very messed up kid who is completely out of control. It seems to be way beyond the Mom's ability to handle.I don't think it's all the Mom's fault. She may have done some things 'not right' but we never get a dang manual on how to raise a teenager. Especially one who is hell-bent on destruction! I wish them lots of luck and hope that it gets better.