Topic : 06/02 Banned From the Wedding

I really don't understand this bride.  She's already started a huge feud with the guy's mom.  He's a coward and why does this mom even want to have anything to do with him.  If my son sided with a girl against me in such a horrible manner, I'd disown him.  He's NOT A SON.  Both of these punks need to go back and read the commandments.  In this day in age, I think everyone better do that.  In any case, in this situation they both need to remember to HONOR THY MOTHER AND THY FATHER.  There might be something to that.  

This girl is a trouble maker and if she's already causing a war....good luck to the worm that marries her. 

This means the poor children these two might have will never know their grandmother.  It's disgusting for this girl to behave this way.  Good luck, Dr. Phil.  Sounds like you'll need it.

Banned Doctor From Phil The Wedding. That is new one on me. I hope that wedding will go on as  usaly.--

See you on Thursday November 08th. 2007. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-----------------------------------

There is a great deal of anger in the dynamics of the proposed wedding of Jay and Michelle - for now, the wedding should be cancelled and the couple should attempt a six month hiatus without contact or communication.  A lifetime is a long time and the six month trade a small price to pay for "forever after". 

It occurs to me that the people in this scenario are in states of arrested development - they do not have the skills to negogiate a settlement in this matter, and choose to look only at  vindictive options; a common trait for children under the age of twelve. 

Were I the prospective mother-in-law in this situation, I would be devastated to learn that my son would allow this treatment of me.  Further, I would be heartbroken to consider that he would spend the rest of his life with such a shallow and apparently vindictive person.  I would grieve for the happiness of knowing and loving grandchildren, because I would realize that the ripple effect of this mindset would contanimate everything, and there would be nothing I could do to alleviate it. 

Were I the prospective bride, I might be thrilled to think I would have that kind of power over my fiancee; however, given the blessing of insight, I might be terrified to learn that my husband would be such a spineless jellyfish - might he forsake me in the same manner in the future?  Or worse yet, might he forsake our children when the going gets tough?  

Were I the prospective groom, I might be thinking that I am doing the right thing for the time being, but at the same time I might be repelled at the selfishness of the woman I plan to marry.  I might wonder at her narcissism, and how it would effect our life together and the lives of our children.  I might be thinking for the present that I can "fix" the in-law problem at a later date (after all, hasn't Mom always backed my plate?), but I really need someone to tell me that I can never unring the bell; that even if it resolves in some manner in the future, I would have failed everyone concerned, even the unborn. 

When the going gets tough, the tough get going - the sissies flunk out!  Sadly, often they (the sissies) don't have the maturity to recognize their failures or even consider them.  There is no reality but their own, nothing important but themselves.  Ultimately, they wind up alone. 

1. you identified a "sick "relationship bet mother/son...  well guess what hubby to be is the other half of the sick relationship

2. family is lifelong, this isn't going anywhere.........

It strikes me that all of the people in this group are power happy and are only concerned with being on top. Besting each other is not an intelligent thing to do. They most likely all deserve each other.

My family was not totally happy with my getting married at only 21, but we are still at it after 43 years and horrendious medical problems and it is not over yet.  These people need a life. If Dr. Phil helps their relationship I still have to wonder as to how the children will turn out 25 years from now.