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Topic : 04/07 Will Fights

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Created on : Thursday, November 08, 2007, 07:36:51 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/13/07) Has an inheritance that seemed at first like a stroke of good fortune become a dividing force in your family? Meet four sisters bitterly fighting over their aunt’s inheritance. Virginia's original will divided her estate four ways: Pat, Linda and Barbara would each receive $10,000 and Carol, the youngest, would get the remainder of the trust -- approximately $400,000. But the inheritance was split six ways to include Linda’s two kids after Aunt Virginia went to live with Linda. Barbara says she can’t imagine why her aunt would change the trust unless Linda manipulated her. Does Barbara have a case against her sister, or is she just being the family troublemaker? Their mother, Fran, drops a bombshell about the real reason the will was changed. Then, Sondra says she and her husband, Patrick, fight constantly since they blew his $100,000 inheritance in less than a year. After purchasing five new cars, a new TV and furniture, they can’t afford to pay for their daughter’s college tuition. How can this couple end the battle over the buck? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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November 10, 2007, 6:17 am CST

Family Feuds

I have watched families fight over money many times and it always ends the same.  Torn families and words that can never be taken back.  If they truly care about one another they would just settle it equally and quietly among themselves.  It really isn't going to get better so just divide it and get on with their lives.  Who cares who took care of her the longest she is gone now.  And if that was her intention of getting more in the end then what a pitiful reason to get the money. I know a couple who sucked up to an aunt and kissed her heiny for years to the point of draining her and when she died of course they got it all. And now they live quite well and  are expected to get a lot more from her mother.  They have a lot of "things" and doing extremely well but knowing how they got to this point makes me sick.  However they are my friends and I have never said anything.  If this family feels justified in what they are doing so be it.  I sleep good at night.
 
November 10, 2007, 7:44 am CST

Greed that divides forever

The deadliest of all sins............greed

IMy grandparents had 5 girls and lived modestly. When my Mother divorced my biological father the four of us (my twin brother and our sister) went to live with them. Mother worked 3 jobs to support us and our grandparents raised us along with the begrudged help of our aunts. We heard it everyday, how we robbed our grandparents of their retirement years. We were small children that has no say in anything but felt guilty then for this horrible misdeed that we couldn't understand.  It dosen't really matter in the message of this but our grandfather told us daily and his biological daughters that he loved us as much as he did them and "those precious children will be the ones to give us our last drink of water", we were and loved him deeply.

 When they passed away my Mother continued to live in the house until she died, only a few years. later. On the eve of her death, it was an all out brawl over who got what and the sell of the house. I was trying to care for my Mother during her last painful days of cancer but all her sisters could think of was the money and the "things". They were scurring around like ants manipulating each other and trying to manipulate us by having pieces of paper shoved in my face to sign everything over. The will had already been made but they wanted to make double sure we got nothing and they got everything. All of them had been stealing objects over the years when they would come over for one of their daily visits. To their surprise, the three of us wanted absolutely nothing in the house or even our Mothers little percentage of the sale of the house.

I thought our family was close and loving, it was anything but. After my Mothers death, we split down the middle and have never been the same. There are no longer any gatherings, talking and every attempt has ended up in hurt feelings and someone having to "bring up the past". It has been 20 years and the greedy aunts have all died but two. They went through their money in weeks and the "things" are stored collecting dust.

Was it worth it for them? I wonder but am not interested enough to try and find out anymore. I work as a nurse in Hospice and try to keep families together in these critical times where everyone is fragile, angry and focusing on everything except the person that is dying and loss they are experiencing.

I wish families would focus on what matters, each other and their relationships. There is no object or amount of money that can replace what once was wonderful or thought to be wonderful.

This family is probably past any healing, our's certainly is but for those of you who have this to face, please remember it's the only family you will have and the lonliness is almost unbearable once they are gone. Hold on the each other and not "things".  The money will be spent, the "things" will gather dust and hold no value over a human being you once loved and will miss. You will feel like your entire life was a lie, so get things settled before the death of parents, stay close and hold on to each other.

 

 

 
November 10, 2007, 8:48 am CST

Inheritance and the Money factor*

get an attorney to handle the problems and become executor of the will.I "feel" that no family member should ever be in charge of this, it cause hostility, doubts and real issues later on, especially when property is involved and large amounts of money over 50,000. each.

 

MY "older" sister was exhausted after my adopted  dad passed on and was bitter about so many issues she became angry at her middle sister and decided to withhold things from her she simply should not have because she had the power to and the middle sister did not have the energy to fight her. that was back in 1998 and there is so much hostility now that none of us talk at all. Not just because of how that was handled but because the old sister who handled the estate sent out letters to every last person in the family trashing the older sister , her middle sister to harm her deeply. That was so heart breaking to read and watch as the middle sister was all alone on all holidays and the sister who had handled the estate became more bitter as the days progressed.

I have disconnected with all of them , but not for that reason, but for reasons of years of abuse.

This whole issue was sad and the oldest one sits and does not acknowledge the harm she did , in her own way of allowing the withholding from a sister she grew up with and allowed only her own vengeance to get in the way.

Is the inheritance "evil" or the people who  gouge for it? It is pitiful on all levels and I suggest an attorney and share the inheritance.[ pay him/her ]

 
November 10, 2007, 9:09 am CST

Money Greed

Why is it that money appears to "fall" into the hands of those who can least manage it?  An inheritance is a true gift and should be honored and respected.
 
November 10, 2007, 10:11 am CST

wow

 how sad that people blow the money in less than a year that took a lifetime for their parents or loved ones to earn - too bad the parents saved and scrimped only to be able to leave it to ungrateful people
 
November 10, 2007, 10:37 am CST

Doctor Phil Show

Doctor Fights Phil Will. Have I seen this before? No. But I will see it on Tuesday November 13th, 2007.------

See you on Tuesday November 13th, 2007. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.------------------------------------

 
November 10, 2007, 11:40 am CST

Wills

I was personal representative when my childless aunt died leaving 16 heirs.  We all got together at her home one day for division of her personal effects.  We used a silent auction for most of the items and one of my cousins was auctioneer for the larger items.  Everyone got an equal amount of "play money" to use.  If they went above their "free money" they used real money.

 

I sold some land she owned and cashed in her investments and insurance.  I got a fee for handling the estate.  A cousin who handled her finances the final few years of her life and a nurse cousin who visited and dressed her her daily those final years in a rest home each got a fee.  (Actually I divided the amount the attorney said I should receive for handling the division with them, because I felt they had earned it.)  We divided the remainder equally between all the heirs.

 

I have a wonderful family!  No one ever complained.

 
November 10, 2007, 2:18 pm CST

Fighting Over Wills

It is one thing for the person to change their will willingly, but when the elderly are intentionally deceived and undue influence is used, then there is a problem. As long as humans walk this earth, there will always be crooks. My husband was promised his rightful 1/2 of the inheritance once his parents passed away, so he was told. My mother-in-law dangled that all his life like a carrot over my husband to jump through her hoops all these years, while she knew all along she lied to us all, especially her own husband. Once my husband's father died, his mother not only took my husband's name off everything, but she also tried to take the family farm that we legally bought and owned back from us with unconscionable lies. In our state no will needs to be filed if there is a surviving spouse and my in-law knew this, especially since I later uncovered her sinister crimes of the past. I found out that she created a fake power of attorney for my husband's grandmother giving her husband power of attorney in which they embezzled all the money for themselves and then tried to put her in a nursing home. I even witnessed her cheating her own siblings after she put her mother in a nursing home and she stole all her tons of old coins, money, and antiques. She stated what her siblings didn't know wouldn't hurt them. Plus when the nursing home lost her mother's teeth, she stated that she could learn to gum her food because her mother's money was all hers (my in-laws) now. Then after she lied and cheated us so badly (her own son who was always there for them - always), she then turned around and embezzled money from her own aunts after she convinced them they couldn't afford to stay in their own homes. She had her aunts own attorney create a new will changing the split between the 2 families from 50-50 to 75-25 favoring hers. The thing is the attorney knew my in-law cheated us and others before, plus he knew his client of many, many years was in a nursing home for almost 2 years with dementia and Altzheimers...yet he drew up a new will for my in-law knowing it was illegal for her to get the aunt to sign it knowing she was incompetent. Later after the aunt's death, the other family contested the will and has since found out that my in-law embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars out of accounts for herself and no one is prosecuting her. They are just trying to find some of the money and have her put it back, plus my in-law wants them to sign a confidentiality agreement so no one will know what a major criminal she is and she can move on to her next targets... How can they let her get away with this (hundreds of thousands of dollars) by embezzlement... because she is old. Everyone says she is old. Well she wasn't old when she created a fake power of attorney and cheated her husband's siblings; she wasn't old when she cheated her siblings; and she wasn't old when she cheated us... They prosecuted Lenora Hemsley, yet my mother-in-law is more ruthless and heartless than she was, yet no one touches her because the attorneys and banks must be as guilty as my in-law for allowing the transactions to occur. We were threatened with our lifes when I uncovered what she did. A bank's attorney told me and one of the cheated relatives that we could be shot, our house could be burnt to the ground, or our well could be poisoned if we didn't drop the investigation into her crimes since they should have never allowed a fake power of attorney to be used.... To me, if attorneys would tell the greedy relatives that it is illegal to do what they request and refused to draw up a will if they know it is going to be used illegally, then a crime can't be committed. My husband's rightful legacy was stolen by his own mother and his father must be mourning now by what his wife of 48 years did to him. Who is standing up for the dead? I tried and I almost ended up dead. If more people don't stand up then there will always be legacy robbers and deceased loved ones mourning in heaven.
 
November 10, 2007, 5:56 pm CST

I know how that feels

I know exactly how this happens. It happened to my family. When my parents died in my arms and one of my four brothers did everything to get money and stoled from me and 2 of my other brothers. He would come in after I go to work and my handicap brother would tell me that this person would come in after I leave and go through my room and then leave after he made my other brother give him his wallet and stole money out of it. I know it is hard but there has to be a tough love from someone to stand your ground  and quit letting people push you around and control you. When my parents died I had to grow up very fast and take on the head of household role I was left with a mortgage and taking care of a mentally handicap brother and then making sure we had a plce to live and making sure taken on 2 to 3 jobs at one time just to make sure I do the job that my parents did for us. And when you are put into this position certain family menbers come out of the wood works and try and put you in the wrong positions in order to get money or steal things from you.
 
November 10, 2007, 8:07 pm CST

11/13 Will Fights

My sister embezzled my father's life savings about one year ago.  He has Alzheimer's disease and took advantage of him and the disease.  Now, I have to sell the family house to pay for my father's assisted living. 

 

When it comes to money, people came become very evil.

 
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