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Topic : 12/05 Internet Dangers

Number of Replies: 101
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Created on : Friday, November 30, 2007, 01:42:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
You don’t think twice when logging on to the Internet to shop for household items, chat with relatives and buy movie tickets, but surfing the net can have dangerous consequences. Donna Jou made headlines when she disappeared five months ago. The straight A-student was last seen in the company of John Burgess, a convicted sex offender whom police believe she met on Craigslist. Donna’s family is outraged that Burgess isn’t behind bars, and her mom, Nili, makes an impassioned plea for her safe return. Their attorney, Gloria Allred, brings Dr. Phil up to speed on this tragic case. Then, Marcus and Rhodesia were married for eight years and had three kids, but that didn’t stop Marcus from having an affair with a woman he met on MySpace. Marcus says Rhodesia drove him to cheat because she let herself go. The ink has barely dried on their divorce papers, but Marcus and Rhodesia are already thinking about reconciling. Can Marcus change, or should Rhodesia thank her lucky stars that she’s out of this marriage? Tell us what you think!

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December 5, 2007, 8:55 am CST

For shame

And not a single word about the bogus restraining order. Nothing at all. This woman was allowed to use the court system to exact a bit of revenge. She should be locked up.

Blaming the internet for the affair - more horse bunk.

Is your kid on Myspace to much? Well get involved in thier lives - make them show every single detail of thier myspace life.

If its your spouse - then bash the durn computer into a billion bits. This aint rocket science.

 

 

 
December 5, 2007, 9:42 am CST

REPEATED INFIDELITY - EMOTIONAL SADISM

If you are with in a relationship with someone, you expect the relationship to grow and deepen over time; you expect a heart connection to be made and maintained.  You operate your life based on this expectation.  When your partner in the relationship does not or cannot make an emotional connection, the relationship becomes very painful.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight into personality types most capable of repeated infidelity are:

 

 

Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss  AND Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward OR Emotional Unavailability by Bryn Collins

 

Malignant Self Love:  Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin OR Overcoming Passive-Aggression by Tim Murphy and Loriann Oberlin

 

Get Me Out of Here:  My Recovery From Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland OR Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen OR Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger

 

Healthy Boundaries Workbook: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Set and Maintain Better Boundaries by Deborah Deiboldt Legge

 

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm

 

Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

 

 

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny.  But just as physical abuse has signposts to mark its presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Physical abuse comes in degrees of severity - emotional abuse also runs the gamut of intensity and damage.

 

There are relationships, marriages and families that are so destructive the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining.  Make a promise to yourself to leave.  Leave so you can begin a life of healing and recovery.  Leave so you can learn to live a joyful, peaceful, trusting and fulfilling life.

 

 

Hope it helps!

 

 
December 5, 2007, 9:56 am CST

With All Due Respect

 

Totally oppossed to meeting people online, heck you can hardly judge a person you meet in person, I went against my convictions and got sucked into the whole online dating thing, partially due to simply making it an amusing "hobby", and somehow met my husband. He is EXTREMELY good looking, a really nice guy, BUT, a total putz, no one I would EVER have been with had we met in person. Though we dated, we lived quite a distance apart and I only found out, totally my fault, about how he "operates" after the "I Dos".

 

I can't really say anything bad about him, except he is FAR from the man for me. Still, we get along just tine, each of us having our independence, and ZERO intimacy, and I'm completely fine with that. My advice, toss your computer out the window before finding a mate online. The emotional stress, even if you accept the person is utter hell.

 
December 5, 2007, 10:06 am CST

If it wasn't Craig's List it would have been MySpace

Quote From: luvmydog1

MY HUSBAND GOT ON CRAIG'S LIST CASUAL ENCOUNTERS . HE E-MAILED HIS CELL PHONE NUMBER IN RESPONSE TO AN ADD HE SAW POSTED THERE. WE HAD BEEN MARRIED ONLY A YEAR AND HE CLAIMS HE WAS "CURIOUS". A 46 YEAR OLD MAN ISN'T CURIOUS. HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING BUT DIDN'T THINK HE WOULD GET CAUGHT BY HIS WIFE WHO DOESN'T HAVE MUCH EXPERIENCE ON COMPUTERS. WRONG! I WISH I COULD GET IN THE  FACE OF CRAIG AND ASK HIM WHY HE WOULD ALLOW SUCH HORRIBLE THINGS TO BE POSTED ON HIS WEBSIGHT. IT DESTROYS FAMILIES!  I WISH THERE WAS A WAY TO SUE CRAIG'S LIST FOR THE PAIN HIS LIST HAS COST ME. TRUE HE DIDN'T TWIST MY HUSBANDS ARM BUT HOW CAN ANYONE THINK THIS IS OKAY AND ALLOW THEIR NAME TO BE ASSSOCIATED  WITH IT.  
The only person responsible for your pain is your jerk of a husband.  Sue Craig's List?  Grow up.  If your husband uses a site created for single people it's not their fault.   If they didn't exist your husband would just have used MySpace, or any of the other social sites to cheat on you.  Or maybe troll the bars in town, or respond to an ad in the local paper.   Hubby is the problem, not Craig's List, which is basically just an electronic bulletin board. 
 
December 5, 2007, 10:32 am CST

12/05 Internet Dangers

Quote From: flthomcat

As a high school teacher, a former felony parole office and a mother of a teen (and of a 7-yr-old), I could care less what ADULTS do for fun. If they are so selfish and immature that they feel the need to cheat, the problem is not the Internet; it is the individual and the marriage. The computer just makes the cheating easier and faster; that's all.

.

With that said, allow me to be NON-POLITCIALLY CORRECT (ie. honest). Those of you parents who allow your children to talk with stranger are STUPID. And unknown people chatting with your teens and children on MYSPACE (etc) accounts are STRANGERS. That makes you parents STUPID.

 

Private MYSPACE (etc) accounts where kids talk with just the kids they know from school, sports, church, etc, are great; however, many teens nationwide are being allowed by their STUPID parents to chat with strangers.

 

It's easy for losers and dangerous types to hide behind computer screens and gain the trust of your children (that includes your teens). After 9 years of teaching teens, they are wonderful "creatures" who are trusting by nature, always want to see the good in people and don't think of someone they communicate with as a "stranger." This is a recipe for disaster and it is the BLAME of the parents (parents who are supposed to be protecting them and guiding them).

 

Wake up, Parents. Stop being STUPID. Start doing your jobs as parents. Spend more time WITH your kids. Monitor what they do, who they converse with and who they see. Give them space to grow, learn and spread their wings, but don't think that allowing them total freedom is a GIFT. It's no different than putting a loaded gun in their little paws.

 

I was a kid with total freedom because my wonderful parents were clueless and trusted me 100%. I am lucky to be alive. If MYSPACE had been around when I was a teen, I am confident I would have become a victim!

I totally agree!! I couldn't have said it better myself!!
 
December 5, 2007, 10:48 am CST

12/05 Internet Dangers

Quote From: citrisgal

 

Totally oppossed to meeting people online, heck you can hardly judge a person you meet in person, I went against my convictions and got sucked into the whole online dating thing, partially due to simply making it an amusing "hobby", and somehow met my husband. He is EXTREMELY good looking, a really nice guy, BUT, a total putz, no one I would EVER have been with had we met in person. Though we dated, we lived quite a distance apart and I only found out, totally my fault, about how he "operates" after the "I Dos".

 

I can't really say anything bad about him, except he is FAR from the man for me. Still, we get along just tine, each of us having our independence, and ZERO intimacy, and I'm completely fine with that. My advice, toss your computer out the window before finding a mate online. The emotional stress, even if you accept the person is utter hell.

i guess online dating can be a good way of expanding your options when looking for that special someone but who's to say what happened to you would'nt have happened if you met the more traditional way...you really can't blame the internet...i met my wife in a yahoo chat room just chatting away with people and made some pretty good friends of it....we would have never met otherwise....i really think things happen for a reason and i have never been so happy in my life as i am now...maybe i'm just one of the lucky ones

 
December 5, 2007, 12:41 pm CST

why can they use the internet

My question is if a sexual preditor can not live near a school, playground, allow them to have trick or treaters, or even have contact with a child, why should they have access to the internet? I think that should be a parole violation. This is where they find unsuspcting children and child porn.

 
December 5, 2007, 1:33 pm CST

Internet Infidelity

  Would all the supposedly "grown ups " do just that , GROW UP!!  How can you put the blame on an internet site for your spouse cheating on you? You would then have to put the blame on the internet for every problem there is in this world. If he/she did not have access to the internet don't you think there are other ways of cheating? Did anyone think of that? Before everyone was hooking up on the internet there were bars, clubs, pagers and cell phones. Computers and the internet have now become the "SOURCE OF ALL EVIL"  because it's at home, easier access and face it the laziest form of picking someone up for what ever. It's sad that we now as adults not only have to keep a watchful eye on our children using the infamous"WEB" that we also have to keep a eye out for our spouses.

  My two cents? Keep an eye out before it gets to extremes. The same way you know when your spouse is stressed take the time to recognize your relationship may be taking a turn for the worse. This is a two way street and blame on an inanimate object is not an answer. A relationship, any relationship should have a base foundation of TRUST. Without trust you have nothing,you cannot truly love without trust because there will always be doubt.

 
December 5, 2007, 1:39 pm CST

Husband cheats of myspace

The lady who blames My space for her husbands cheating needs to be honest with herself,  THis is not Myspace's fault her husband is just a big fat cheater, If he didnt do this on Myspace, he probably would have done it elsewhere, Personally,  I would not have gone back to this guy. If a person cheats once, they will usually do it again.  THere are always exceptions to this rule, but if I were her id dump him,
 
December 5, 2007, 1:40 pm CST

Missing young woman

 I noticed that there's not much said about the missing girl but I guess that's because there's very little that anyone can say. If nothing else, I hope that it makes a few others  open their eyes.It's not safe to go with someone they've 'met'  on line. I know it works for some, but they are the lucky ones. I know everyone wishes that this girl will come home safe&sound but it doesn't look good. How sad :-(
 
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