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Topic : 12/07 A Killer Among Us

Number of Replies: 291
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Created on : Tuesday, December 04, 2007, 04:09:15 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Every nine seconds a woman is battered in the United States. More shocking is that 50 percent of all women murdered in the U.S. are killed by a spouse or an acquaintance. Dr. Phil goes inside a story that has captured national attention for over a month. In this ripped-from-the-headlines show he delves into the events surrounding the disappearance of 23-year old Stacy Peterson, mother of two, and wife of Drew Peterson. Attorney Lisa Bloom, and Drew’s former fiancée, Kyle Piry, weigh in on this mysterious case. Is Drew involved in his fourth wife's disappearance, or did his wife really leave him for another man, as he claims? Then, meet another couple in crisis. Amanda says she lives in fear of her husband, Chris. She says he abuses her and she worries one day he will go too far, but she stays in the marriage anyway. Amanda's mother, Debby, thinks her daughter is living in denial and fears she will end up like Laci Peterson. Chris admits to being abusive but wants to try and salvage the relationship. You won't believe Chris' mother, Cheryl’s, explanation for his behavior!  And, Kim Gandy, the president of the National Organization for Women joins Dr. Phil with some startling domestic violence statistics and teaches victims how to develop an escape plan. If you live in fear of your spouse, this show just might save your life. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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December 26, 2007, 9:02 pm CST

New friends

Quote From: fromthesquare

Is this a random scenario or is this personal?

What does this have to do with anything?

Why did you make the female a perpetrator of a crime- sex with a minor?

 

I think you need to make some new friends- I don't know anyone like these "scenarios."

As I said, your answers will reveal the true problems of abuse. I don't even know any men who beat their wives and I don't know any women who beat their husbands. So, if your friends are like mine, then you will never experience or see abuse. It is your choice how you respond to the scenarios or refuse to respond, unless the two scenarios were too personal for you. However, no one will ever know.

 
December 27, 2007, 6:19 pm CST

Qualifying info

Quote From: will6012

SCENARIO 1:

A wife comes home and finds her husband of 20 years sleeping in their bed with her 21year old sister. The husband and sister are both naked.

What should the wife do?

SCENARIO 2:

A husband comes home and finds his two month pregnant wife at home sleeping with his 15 year old brother, while the two year old is alone crying in the other room.

What should the husbnd do?

You honest answer will identify where the real problem lies.

By 'sleeping' did you mean 'having sex with'?  Or did you really mean that they were simply sleeping in the same bed?

 

If sex is going on:

 

Scenario 1:

 

The wife should seek counseling for herself and her sister.  The husband can choose to do what he will do.  The wife should ask her husband to leave the family home until they can counsel together about his motivation and what he was thinking about having sex with the sister.  Wife should, in counseling, discuss with her sister what she was motivated by in having sex with husband.

 

Scenario 2:

 

Husband should report his wife for statutory rape of his brother and have her arrested.  This is an outright case of abuse, in that a 15 yr old cannot make competent decisions on their own.  Although, it could be possible that the boy was raping the woman, which would explain the neglect of her child and her having sex, even though she's pregnant.  This is definately a criminal matter and one in which authorities should be called in.

 

So where is the 'real problem'?

 
December 27, 2007, 7:09 pm CST

right answers

Quote From: ontiptoe

By 'sleeping' did you mean 'having sex with'?  Or did you really mean that they were simply sleeping in the same bed?

 

If sex is going on:

 

Scenario 1:

 

The wife should seek counseling for herself and her sister.  The husband can choose to do what he will do.  The wife should ask her husband to leave the family home until they can counsel together about his motivation and what he was thinking about having sex with the sister.  Wife should, in counseling, discuss with her sister what she was motivated by in having sex with husband.

 

Scenario 2:

 

Husband should report his wife for statutory rape of his brother and have her arrested.  This is an outright case of abuse, in that a 15 yr old cannot make competent decisions on their own.  Although, it could be possible that the boy was raping the woman, which would explain the neglect of her child and her having sex, even though she's pregnant.  This is definately a criminal matter and one in which authorities should be called in.

 

So where is the 'real problem'?

I did mean that they were caught having sex.

 

The point was, no matter what the situation, no one has an excuse for violence.

Situations like these are the ones, that people often think that it is justified for violence, because of the emotional stresses involved.

 

The reason that the husband was given a little more difficult situation was, to point out that I don't are what you encounter Dude you walk away, seek counseling and if the authorities need to get involved that is their job not yours. Any one, who justified violence in either one of the situations, needs to address their own problems. It is better that you shed a tear because your ego is hurt, than that he or she sheds a tear from pain or blood shed.

 
December 28, 2007, 7:42 pm CST

Crime of "Passion"

Quote From: will6012

I did mean that they were caught having sex.

 

The point was, no matter what the situation, no one has an excuse for violence.

Situations like these are the ones, that people often think that it is justified for violence, because of the emotional stresses involved.

 

The reason that the husband was given a little more difficult situation was, to point out that I don't are what you encounter Dude you walk away, seek counseling and if the authorities need to get involved that is their job not yours. Any one, who justified violence in either one of the situations, needs to address their own problems. It is better that you shed a tear because your ego is hurt, than that he or she sheds a tear from pain or blood shed.

I agree with you.  It's interesting to go back and study how many cases of murder or violence were "excused" by a jury based upon the defense of it being a "crime of passion". 

 

Although, I just read this, according to domestic violence research:

 

" Fifty-nine percent of all women who killed a so-called loved one were abused at the time"

 

"Up to four thousand women are beaten to death annually by a family member--about a third of all female homicide victims."

 

I do agree that there is no situation which should lead to bloodshed, but given the entire history of the world which is to take any number of conflicts to war, it's rather hard to imagine that humanity would be able to eliminate bloodshed altogether.  Bush needs to bring our troops home for a start.

 

 
December 29, 2007, 12:42 am CST

You don't honestly believe .....

Quote From: will6012

SCENARIO 1:

 A wife comes home and finds her husband of 20 years sleeping in their bed with her 21 year old sister. The husband and sister are both naked.

 

What should the wife do?

 

SCENARIO 2:

 A husband comes home and finds his two month pregnant wife at home sleeping with his 15 year old brother, while the two year old is alone crying in the other room.

 

What should the husbnd do?

 

You honest answer will identify where the real problem lies.

 

You don't honestly believe I'm gonna bite this bait, here .... Do You??

 

NOT !!!

 
December 30, 2007, 10:59 am CST

No bait

Quote From: Pleasance

You don't honestly believe I'm gonna bite this bait, here .... Do You??

 

NOT !!!

The answers are simple.Violence is never an excuse. The previous poster had all the right answers. Only an abuser would justify violence for either situation. The husband had to exert more control because violence is not an option. What was the bait?
 
January 1, 2008, 12:19 pm CST

Stacy is a smart gal

Quote From: sunshinemitzi

Why doesn't someone hire a well known Psychic to help find Stacy Peterson? I have heard of other places using 1 to find the victims. Drew is an idiot with his comments & Demeanor. We all know by his actions & past he had something to do with Stacy's disappearance.  Dr. Phil PLEEEEEAZE find  a Psychic  who can help bring Stacy back home so her family can have closure  &  hopefully Justice can Prevail. My Heart goes out to Stacy's children & family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I believe that Stacy is a smart gal.  She's strong enough to put up with his abuse to animals and one day when she looks at her children doing some of the "small" stuff that her husband is doing she woke up and decided that was it.  Why she left her children?  Because she felt that he wouldn't do anything to them and that once she disappeared the media would jump on the issue of the children....I have yet to see it but SRS should jump into the home and do some investigating.  Stacy just may be waiting for the perfect moment to move in and get her children but that may take a while.  With the election campaigns taking much of our viewing time now days her story has fallen into the cracks like many others which may be a good thing for her.  Her disappearance couldn't have come at a perfect time for her.  I feel though for the children what they must be going through with "mommy" gone, but once they reunite it will have been for their own good.  Common sense tells you that if she was not receiving any help from the locals to go higher up and/or down lower and get out of Dodge.

di

 
February 18, 2008, 6:25 pm CST

Victim Blame

 Usually I am a fan of Dr. Phil, but in this episode I think he perpetuated some of the myths that surround domestic violence. Amanda was treated as though she was barely there and when Dr Phil did acknowledge her it was to ask her if she had been winding-up Chris or to tell her it was stupid to confront him. I felt that Dr. Phil was justifying Chris's violence because Amanda wasn't easy to get along with. The fact of the matter is domestic violence is not justifiable. Chris is stronger, he can restrain her or walk away. Women have, for too long, been blamed for provoking men into violence.

Furthermore Dr. Phil asked Chris loaded questions like: "you don't like who you are when you do this, do you?". Surely it's more appropriate to ask  "do you like who you are when you do this?" It's more than mere semantics. If Dr. Phil was truly interested in gauging whether Chris thought what he was doing was ok the 2nd wording doesn't tell Chris what the good Dr. thinks is the right answer. I do not believe that Chris did dislike himself. His mother was telling him it was ok; Dr. Phil was chastisting Amanda for winding him up; Chris saw himself as a victim "A dog that gets hit with a stick will bite" "Everyone has their demolition point it's just people have different length fuses." Dr. Phil allowed Chris to believe his behaviour was rational and justifiable. It isn't. Women have the right to a violence-free home.

I cannot believe Dr. Phil told Amanda that Chris was not evil, their marriage was retrievable. Well, Dr. Phil the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.... So I guess Amanda's got some stranglings and beatings to prepare for. Talk to some women Dr. Phil.
 
November 10, 2008, 6:15 pm CST

What a dissapointment

Quote From: sonicdrama

It amazes me that most people still think we can trust any public official. The Sheriff's dept. in Deschutes County in Oregon is rampant with corruption. In 2001 the Sheriff himself was arrested and convicted of embezzling about $250,000.00 and then later when he was in jail, convicted of selling Sheriffs' dept. guns in the paper for his own personal gain. Then in 2002, two deputies, one of them the DARE officer at a local high school were arrested and convicted of having sex with minor high school girls, giving them drugs, and attempting to tape the sexual acts to sell on the internet. Several of these same men were involved in the investigation of my brothers death, did no investigation, and broke about 8 Oregon Statutes and declared it a suicide. The smartest criminals are the ones with the guns and the badges. This Peterson case is a double whammy....Domestic Violence and Police Corruption. The state of our nation makes me sick, when this thing happens as regularly as it does. As an aside, does anyone else find it highly ODD....the Lacey Peterson...Stacy Peterson name thing and their apparent similar fates? OH....and (heavy sarcasm)...let's give the police more power and weapons so the next time they TAZER a pregnant women trying to take her kids home, maybe they'll kill her too. It might make their day.

Dr Phil asks "very hard questions"....I had a ton of them!  .....I felt like Dr. Phil did NOT ask those hard questions like he does so many others on the show that are not even close to the evil that Drew Peterson is....what happened????  If he said "I cannot answer for that" one more time I would have put my fist through the TV in hopes to get his jaw....ewwwww...I hope they find the evidence to put him away for life...of course he did it!!!!  I am so dissapointed that Dr. Phil did not come down hard on him.........

 

 
November 11, 2008, 7:27 pm CST

12/07 A Killer Among Us

Okay,  the one thing that really jumped out at me,  was when Drew made a comment about his wife and him in a restauarant and they got a dirty look from an elderly couple,  and Stacy was sitting on Drew's lap,  and asked,   for a joke,  DADDY....am I the best kisser out of all my sisters,  and Drew said that he felt like smashing her.  This was when they were in love, in the begining,  and he made a comment like that even then.  That really concerned me,  also,  even if she did leave,  she would hear all the things that have been said over the past year,  and would contact her kids so that they wouldn't think the worst and get worried.  NO mother would leave her family and children thinking that she was dead if she wasn't.
 
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