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Topic : 12/07 A Killer Among Us

Number of Replies: 291
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Created on : Tuesday, December 04, 2007, 04:09:15 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Every nine seconds a woman is battered in the United States. More shocking is that 50 percent of all women murdered in the U.S. are killed by a spouse or an acquaintance. Dr. Phil goes inside a story that has captured national attention for over a month. In this ripped-from-the-headlines show he delves into the events surrounding the disappearance of 23-year old Stacy Peterson, mother of two, and wife of Drew Peterson. Attorney Lisa Bloom, and Drew’s former fiancée, Kyle Piry, weigh in on this mysterious case. Is Drew involved in his fourth wife's disappearance, or did his wife really leave him for another man, as he claims? Then, meet another couple in crisis. Amanda says she lives in fear of her husband, Chris. She says he abuses her and she worries one day he will go too far, but she stays in the marriage anyway. Amanda's mother, Debby, thinks her daughter is living in denial and fears she will end up like Laci Peterson. Chris admits to being abusive but wants to try and salvage the relationship. You won't believe Chris' mother, Cheryl’s, explanation for his behavior!  And, Kim Gandy, the president of the National Organization for Women joins Dr. Phil with some startling domestic violence statistics and teaches victims how to develop an escape plan. If you live in fear of your spouse, this show just might save your life. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

December 6, 2007, 1:59 am CST

response to a killer among us

Having been there myself and finally had the sense out of fear for my life to get out I now realize that all the years I thought I was protecting my children I was destroying them. Thank God they have learned not to accept or be that way. However I have an ex-daughter in law that I know will make the news. Her name is Angie. I let all the abuse centers here know her name and that she is coming! I got within two hours of getting her help on the eve of her daughters death and he got her back. These men wine and dine, seduce them by them and then once that happens the control sets in. My Angie is no longer talking with anyone! Her once close knit Italian family are now strangers. The only daughter she has left won't buy into this relationship so they don't speak either. As for me I live in daily fear when I hear of the Stacy Peterson's and the women on Dr. Phil because I know Angie is next and I can't do anything about it. She is brain washed.

So everyone out there when you see the news like Tara Grant in Michigan, well again her name is Angie,  and you know I failed to get through to her. Its only a matter of time.

 
December 6, 2007, 3:42 am CST

I have been where these women are

I was once in a marriage of a buse. Had a gun to my head for three hours begging for my life but it started long before that. I had no job , 3 little kids and my ex controled everything I did. I got out of it over 15 years ago. I am married to a wonderful man now who treats me like gold. But the thing that I'm most happy for is my three children all turned out great. The two youngest are both in college and the oldest has a great job. I could have ruined their lives staying in that marriage. It was tuff rasing them on my own but I did it through the help of my family and friends. Know one should be treated like that from a man. He would tell me who I could talk to , what to wear and what to eat. But I raised my kids and when the youngest went off to her first year of college , I met the man who I married this past May. We have a wonderful life together. Its so nice to be loved and have fun with the person your in love with. My children could not be happier for their mother. As for my ex he still is hopping from one woman to another. I think men like that should just stay single. They don't know how to love or be loved.   Sincerely Gladys Nemchik                                                                            To all you woman going through this good luck . You will figure out how to do the right think. I was lucky that the police in my town helped me so much after the gun incident. They had been called to my house alot but I always chickened out and stayed. But that nite the one officer looked me in the eyes and I finally listened to what he was telling me. He promised to help me and he did. I will always be thankful to him and what he did for my children and I. Good Luck  and you can do it with out a man pushing you around.
 
December 6, 2007, 5:07 am CST

a killer among us

Hi

Let me tell you I have been Married for 11 yrs already  and my husband has nevered layed a hand on me  of course we have had arguements .  But I sure will be watching this one on Friday Dec 7 so that I would know what to do if it ever happens to me  and I am sure that all the women will be watching this as well

 

See you on Friday Dec

H Wilson

 
December 6, 2007, 5:09 am CST

Question: How do they define 'human?'

  Consider:
  The missing element in every human 'solution' is an
  accurate definition of the creature.

  The  way we define 'human' determines our view of self,
  others, relationships, institutions, life, and future. Many
  problems in human experience are the result of false 
  and inaccurate definitions of humankind premised
  in man-made religions and humanistic philosophies.

  Human knowledge is a fraction of the whole universe.
  The balance is a vast void of human ignorance. Human
  reason cannot fully function in such a void; thus, the
  intellect can rise no higher than the criteria by which it
  perceives and measures values.

  Humanism makes man his own standard of measure.
  However, as with all measuring systems, a standard
  must be greater than the value measured. Based on
  preponderant ignorance and an egocentric carnal
  nature, humanism demotes reason to the simpleton
  task of excuse-making in behalf of the rule of appe-
  tites, desires, feelings, emotions, and glands.

  Because human, hobbled in an ego-centric predicament,
  cannot invent criteria greater than himself, the humanist
  lacks a predictive capability. Without instinct or trans-
  cendent criteria, humanism cannot evaluate options with
  foresight and vision for progression and survival. Lack-
  ing foresight, human is blind to potential consequence and
  is unwittingly committed to mediocrity, collectivism,
  averages, and regression - and worse. Humanism is an
  unworthy worship.

  The void of human ignorance can easily be filled with
  a functional faith while not-so-patiently awaiting the
  foot-dragging growth of human knowledge and behav-
  ior. Faith, initiated by the Creator and revealed and
  validated in His Word, the Bible, brings a transcend-
  ent standard to human the choice-maker. Other philo-
  sophies and religions are man-made, humanism, and
  thereby lack what only the Bible has:

  1.Transcendent Criteria and
  2.Fulfilled Prophetic Validation.

  The vision of faith in God and His Word is survival
  equipment for today and the future. Only the Creator,
  who made us in His own image, is qualified to define
  us accurately.

  Human is earth's Choicemaker. Psalm 25:12 She is by
  nature and nature's God a creature of Choice - and of
  Criteria. Psalm 119:30,173 Her unique and definitive
  characteristic is, and of Right ought to be, the natural
  foundation of her environments, institutions, and re-
  spectful relations to her fellow-man. Thus, she is orien-
  ted to a Freedom whose roots are in the Order of the
  universe. selah

 semper fidelis
 vincit veritas









 
 
December 6, 2007, 5:23 am CST

Bullies with a badge

Quote From: setups

   We are always so surprised when those who work in postions of public trust elude us.I think there are more people in these professions who behave criminally towards their spouses than are ever reported.You see, I can speak from the experience of having once been the victim of abuse by a police officer, my x-husband. He seemed to me to be unable to make the transition from job to home,often responding in our relationship as if he were wearing his uniform.I can say I never walked in his work boots,but I can only imagine the power that surges through their ego's if they have a pre-existing personality malfunction.Psychological testing pre-emloyment, should be extensive.Did this officer's wife leave for another man? I do not know that. I wonder though why she has not come forward. Is she keeping her silence as a way of protecting herself? I hope so. Maybe Dr. Phil could plead with her to call him and offer what ever assurance she needs that he will keep her where abouts confidential, so that her morbidity can be confirmed. An abuser can be obvious by nature and is distinct in his behaviour(controlling, jealous, verbally humilliating, etc.).He can be employed or unemployed. When a police officer is the abuser, it is easy to assume that   "the boys club" will protect him. I think they are being very careful in this case because this is wife # 4.The last I heard my  x-husband was still with wife #3. He abused #2 as well. I will leave you with this thought.One night while I was sitting in our kitchen, he walked up to me with his service revolver and asked me, if I wanted to play Russian Roulet...........

It seems that many of the playground bullies have grown up and become cops. They pushed people around in their youth, and now someon has foolishly given them a badge and told them to use it wisely. My son-in-law will soon be one of these. He is a correctional officer at the local prison and is prejudice, doesn't look at the facts of sitituation and has no idea about what the word truth means. When assessing a situation in our family he never relies on facts,only on his opinion and never listens. He in his own mind at least....is always right. Once he is finished with his time at the prison he will be joining the local police dept.

 

What types of test are done that keep letting these bullies with a badge slip through the cracks?

 
December 6, 2007, 6:01 am CST

But the children suffer for years

Quote From: chat2phil

Wives or husbands who accept being abused and battered most likely suffer self-worth issues.  Their reasoning is usually so complex that they don't even understand it themselves. Only counseling, such as Dr. Phil's methods will help.
I have not been beaten by a husband, but I am a child of a wife beater. It makes me furious that my mother is still with this man, my "sperm donor". At age 81, he doesn't hit her anymore but can and does go up to 6 months without speaking to her, making an extremely tense environment. I can't stand that she still loves him. As a child growing up sitting beside your mothers' bed watching her chest to make sure she's breathing does something to you. I'm 56 and still in counseling and have finally, after 10 other therapists in the past 30 years, found one who just zeroed in on  the problem and we're working on it. I have not had a relationship with him for 30 years. I tried 10 years ago for about 3 months to re-establish some kind of relationship but I could not stand for him to hug me hello or goodbye and when I told him not to touch me that ended it again. Women should never be beaten, but I'm speaking for the children here. A child should NEVER see his/her mother being beaten. Not only do they grow up learning by example to be a doormat, even though they swear it will NEVER happen to them, but it affects them for the rest of their lives. The lucky ones learn this early and get help early. I'm also grateful for this show, but I would really love to see a show that includes domestic violence from a child's perspective. Thanks, Dr. Phil.
 
December 6, 2007, 6:14 am CST

12/07 A Killer Among Us

Quote From: jammaw45

Good that you are doing this show. I wish e could pick these people out before they kill or  at least when they kill the first time.

 

It seems once again, the police have bungled and protected their own too long. Now he's gone and killed again . Hopefully he won't get away with it this time.

 

Will be watching this and the news with bated breath.

IS THIS WOMEN INSANE....DON'T  BLAME THE POLICE  FOR THIS  MATTER....YOU HAVE TO ASK THE FRIENDS AND FAMILY......???  SHE CRIED  OUT TO THEM.  WHY IS IT THAT ONLY AFTER THE FACT THAT SHE IS MISSING,  THAT ALL THESE STORIES START  TO SURFACE  ABOUT  WHAT  FRIENDS SAID  SHE TOLD THEM  OR  WHAT  THEY  SAW.....GIVE ME   A  BREAK..   IF  YOU  KNOW   THAT  SOMEONE  IS IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP ...TAKE SOME KIND OF  ACTION.  I  SPEAK  FROM EXPERIENCE....I WAS  IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP  AND I WAS A POLICE OFFICER..  I TRIED  VERY  HARD  TO HELP WOMEN IN THIS SITUATION   WITH KNOWLEDGE  OF THEIR  OPTIONS  AND  WHERE TO GO  AND  GET  HELP... IT'S THE COURT  SYSTEMS THAT FAIL  WOMEN.  THE  POLICE  ARREST  THESE  GUYS  AND   THE LAWYERS  GET  THEM  A SLAP ON THE HAND.    WHERE  IS  THEIR  PUNISHMENT.!!! 

 
December 6, 2007, 6:44 am CST

What are you?

Quote From: annett

IS THIS WOMEN INSANE....DON'T  BLAME THE POLICE  FOR THIS  MATTER....YOU HAVE TO ASK THE FRIENDS AND FAMILY......???  SHE CRIED  OUT TO THEM.  WHY IS IT THAT ONLY AFTER THE FACT THAT SHE IS MISSING,  THAT ALL THESE STORIES START  TO SURFACE  ABOUT  WHAT  FRIENDS SAID  SHE TOLD THEM  OR  WHAT  THEY  SAW.....GIVE ME   A  BREAK..   IF  YOU  KNOW   THAT  SOMEONE  IS IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP ...TAKE SOME KIND OF  ACTION.  I  SPEAK  FROM EXPERIENCE....I WAS  IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP  AND I WAS A POLICE OFFICER..  I TRIED  VERY  HARD  TO HELP WOMEN IN THIS SITUATION   WITH KNOWLEDGE  OF THEIR  OPTIONS  AND  WHERE TO GO  AND  GET  HELP... IT'S THE COURT  SYSTEMS THAT FAIL  WOMEN.  THE  POLICE  ARREST  THESE  GUYS  AND   THE LAWYERS  GET  THEM  A SLAP ON THE HAND.    WHERE  IS  THEIR  PUNISHMENT.!!! 

Number one I don't blame all police officers or departments. I said this is another example of  police protecting one of their own too long.

 

If you go back and read all of the news stories on this, you will see it yourself. #4 did call police and he was NEVER arrested for DOMESTIC ABUSE. #3 called and called, but  he was always given "cooling down" time"....no arrest. In "my" opinion ( which I am entitled to) This particular police department protected a killer for way too long. Maybe, just maybe now, since the media has gotten wind of it, he won't get away with murder any more.

 

I am hoping this will prevent  another "missing" #5.

 
December 6, 2007, 7:05 am CST

It can happen to any1....

I had went through a lot, my father was on his death bed then my grandmother died. I was at a low like i have never been in. I've always been strong willed and independant and never thought it would happen to me. But during my grieving process a guy that i just had begun to date a few months prior stepped up and was there for me and my kids. I had to come running back from a vacation from FLA when my grandmom died. He was waiting in my drive way for me. He took me to get the kids clothes to order flowers and do everything i needed to do. After the burial I was very depressed. I mean it took every ounce of strength i had to get out of bed and go to the bathroom. He was there for me he really was. Helping me the kids and just normal household chores and running errands. He was great... or so I thought. Then he found my ex's class ring and an OLD pager that i had just put up and figured when i got up to around wheres his parents live i'd drop it at his parents house... he flipped about it. Wondering when he was at my house last and blah blah blah... that was the first sign and he did pass this off as a bad day.. but the jealous increased.. the controling started .. not wanting me to wear  low cut shirts or skirts or summer dresses which is what i always wore. TO begin with i was really depressed and didnt fight about it,, i was like what ever,  it's no big deal and I dont have the strenght to fight about it.. I really didnt at that time. I had wondered why i hadnt heard from ANY of my freinds in a long time.. No even so much as a phone call. I started calling them and they told me he would answer say i was asleep and tell them he would tell me that they called.. WELL he never told me ever and he went as far as to erase the numbers from the caller id and erase their voice mail messages to me and NEVER told me a thing!! After i realized this, i sat down and had a talk with him, and let him know im not putting up with this and he needed to change his ways or it wasnt going to work with us. He swore he would change... but he didnt. IT got worse, fast!  HIs words was that he wasnt controlling and jealous "HE WAS BEING PROTECTIVE" that he didnt want anyone to ever hurt me... I was getting over my depression and wanting to get back into my life and do things.. and yes without him sometimes. It ended up gettting really crazy. he pushed me down once and hit me in the chin once. He started making comments about some weight i gained.. then i seen it... and realized what type of a relationship i was in... How the hell did this happen to me??? I told him it was over and It wasnt going to work.. He refused to leave, and used an upcoming court case that he was the only witness that could get my brother off of false charges. he was the only one not related to anyone in any way so his testamony was the key to keeping my brother out of jail for years. SO of course he used that to stay.. and it worked until the court case was done.. so then came the  plan. He refused to leave. So he went to his parents house to stay for the weekend to help out with a big home improvement job. I got my fathers truck and some family members, packed up everything that was his, called the state police for an escort and took everything to him and told him it was over and I meant it.  He tried for over a year or so to get back together using every excuse in the book.. but i never went backwards like that. Im now with a sweet loving man that would never do anything to hurt or control me... a normal healthy happy relationship...... BUT like i said situations in your life can make your guard go down where you dont see the warning signs of an abusive  controlling man..
 
December 6, 2007, 7:07 am CST

Over and OVER and (OVER) AGAIN

Dr. Phil

  I really don't understand these stories,greiving (HA HA) husbands who do unbelievable stupid acts and then play the fool. This professional police officer is no better than OJ,Scott Peterson,Susan Smith,or the rest of histories psycopaths. Divorce,addoption,or just getting on with life is always a better way to deal with a bad situation than to simply rid the world of OUR PROBLEM. I cannot understand why it seems that as a society we have come to the ultimate in a THROW AWAY society that even human life is worth so little.ONLY IN AMERICA.

 
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