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Topic : 12/18 Dangerous Daughters

Number of Replies: 130
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Created on : Thursday, December 13, 2007, 05:11:08 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Little girls are often the apple of their parents' eye, but what happens when these sweet, innocent daughters grow up to become dangerous young women? Dr. Phil's guests say their daughters are on destructive paths to nowhere. Krista, 22, was a beauty queen who went from wearing a tiara to walking the streets. She will beg, borrow and steal to get money to support her drug habit. She says if she doesn't get help, she will die, but you won't believe what happened after the Dr. Phil cameras left her house! Her mother, Janet, says after two overdoses and four trips to rehab, the family is beginning to lose hope that Krista can be saved. Find out what Dr. Phil tells Krista she must do in order to turn her life around. Then, Beverly and Gil's 26-year-old daughter, Barbara, brutally attacked Gil with a hammer while he slept. Why do they believe Barbara's ex-girlfriend, Corrina, is to blame for the attack? They say Barbara showed no signs of violence before the beating, but did they miss the warnings? Corrina says she has no idea what made Barbara snap, and she wants to clear her name. Barbara's sister and brother weigh in. Why do they also say Corrina is responsible? And, hear what Barbara has to say from behind bars.  Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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December 20, 2007, 7:20 am CST

Forgiveness is not Blind

Gil, I think that you and your wife are very kind and forgiving parents.  You epitomize unconditional love for your child.  You love and accept her.  You cannot, however, be blind.  Your daughter is ill and is a danger to people.  She stabbed her brother and tried to kill you and your wife.  You need to be safe.  When she is out of jail you need to be wary.  Stop making excuses for her and try to get her the mental help that she needs.
 
December 20, 2007, 7:54 am CST

12/18 Dangerous Daughters

Quote From: rettakm

Way to go beat friend. There are too many people that bashed the mother when the real reason was to get help for her kid. If Janet is struggling with an addication at least she has tried to conquer it.People are so quick to judge. The show was about her kid not her. The others need to ask themselves how would they act if it was their kid. Keep being there for Janet, she will need to lean on you more than ever now. I wish her luck in the upcoming stress she has to go through.

My impression of Janet was that she was very anxious maybe even terrified. I too may have the same emotions disclosing a daughter's self-destructive behaviors on national television. I think the camera focused too much on Janet's face and I think the dialog between the mother and daughter should have been edited.

 

During the show I was expecting  Dr. Phil to explore how drug addiction effects the entire family, how it can be a "family disease" - the role of denial within the family and examples of how the drug user manipulates other. For example did the family report the daughter's stealing to the police? if no, why not.

 

I applaud Janet's courage in bringing her daughter to the show.

 
December 20, 2007, 9:17 am CST

Janet

 Clearly there is a problem with the mother and until her addiction is addressed there is NO way that the daughter can return to her home environment or she will quickly return to her addicitive behavior.  The one known fact is that if you don't remove the addict from their old habits then they don't change their ways.  Simply enrolling Mom in Alanon isn't going to do the trick when she is supplying her with the drugs!  Mom says she is in "recovery" at the same time she is taking prescription drugs.  Every recovering addict I know won't take a tylenol without anxiety.  Mom needs to get sober herself before she can begin to help her daughter.
 
December 20, 2007, 1:19 pm CST

barb

I would like to say corrina is not  as innocent as she looks and plays to be I believe she put fuel to the fire big time I think she started something but  didn't think the out come results would of been barb picking up a hammer because I knew this girl and she has problems her self she is very very conviencing person a compulsive liar that is why her storys of what happened where different just like barbs sister said and she is not a good person her father should know this she also does use people big time Iv know here since she was in her early twenties and she  has been the same i feel bad for the family they didn't know her neither did barb but she can not be the one to blame for barbs actions but I believe she had a part in it because that is what she has done before  she tries to turn people against each other for her sick reasons  I don't know why it's all about her it's very sad  sincerly peace
 
December 20, 2007, 4:33 pm CST

Mom is not sober

I agree with the other writers that Mom is not sober. It was obvious to anyone watching that she was under the influence. Slurred speak, over-emotional, erratic behavior. Maybe Dr. Phil was trying to focus on the daughter, and that's why he didn't address the Mom. I pray that the daughter doesn't have contact with Mom when she gets out of rehab. At the end of the show there was a note stating that the daughter continues to break rules at the rehab. This girl is in serious trouble and Mom is a big part of the problem.
 
December 20, 2007, 5:28 pm CST

12/18 Dangerous Daughters

Quote From: fromthesquare

The whole time that I was watching the mother and daughter it was apparent that the daughter was under the influence but it seemed to me that Dr. Phil should have looked a little closer at the mother.  She was slurring her words while crying in a raspy drunk's voice.  She was very over the top.  Maybe the mom needs a little more than Al Anon can offer. 

    If mom agreed to get off the klonopin and adderall that might go a long way towards helping the daugther get off her addictive substances.  I hate to sound preachy, but it was so obvious that mom had a problem also.
 
December 20, 2007, 5:42 pm CST

12/18 Dangerous Daughters

Quote From: dmr1324

I would like to say corrina is not  as innocent as she looks and plays to be I believe she put fuel to the fire big time I think she started something but  didn't think the out come results would of been barb picking up a hammer because I knew this girl and she has problems her self she is very very conviencing person a compulsive liar that is why her storys of what happened where different just like barbs sister said and she is not a good person her father should know this she also does use people big time Iv know here since she was in her early twenties and she  has been the same i feel bad for the family they didn't know her neither did barb but she can not be the one to blame for barbs actions but I believe she had a part in it because that is what she has done before  she tries to turn people against each other for her sick reasons  I don't know why it's all about her it's very sad  sincerly peace

Part of the reason that Barb never got the help that she obviously needed sooner is the constant rationalizations of her behavior.  She got mad at her brother and threw a knife that nearly killed him- but he was partly to blame for upsetting Barb.  Barb bashes in her father's head with a hammer and Corrina is partly responsible because she didn't help around the house and talked trash. 

 

In the end we stand alone before God.

 
December 21, 2007, 12:17 am CST

12/18 Dangerous Daughters

Quote From: fromthesquare

Part of the reason that Barb never got the help that she obviously needed sooner is the constant rationalizations of her behavior.  She got mad at her brother and threw a knife that nearly killed him- but he was partly to blame for upsetting Barb.  Barb bashes in her father's head with a hammer and Corrina is partly responsible because she didn't help around the house and talked trash. 

 

In the end we stand alone before God.

yes that is true but she probley didn't mean to throw the knife at her brother like my cousin didn't mean to stab her brother in  the chest with a pencil   when she was younger  and he made her mad like people do some snapp and others don't  no it not that she didn't do anything  around the house she might have told her things  that girl can make anything believable even if she has to cry  to do it corrina isn't even her name but at the end barb did  what she did     yes in the end we all do
 
December 21, 2007, 12:59 am CST

Still defending Janet

Quote From: sophie49

I agree with the other writers that Mom is not sober. It was obvious to anyone watching that she was under the influence. Slurred speak, over-emotional, erratic behavior. Maybe Dr. Phil was trying to focus on the daughter, and that's why he didn't address the Mom. I pray that the daughter doesn't have contact with Mom when she gets out of rehab. At the end of the show there was a note stating that the daughter continues to break rules at the rehab. This girl is in serious trouble and Mom is a big part of the problem.
Well as most of you know message boards tend to be like bad car accidents... you can't look away!

I have read the latest posts about my best friend, Janet. So many of you have commented on her speech, her tears, her "erratic" behavior and once again, having known this woman deeply for 20 years I am going to defend her.

What I am sharing here is with absolute truth and certainty. It comes with knowing this woman inside-out from a 20-year friendship. It comes from spending many weekends at her home with her husband and younger daughter. Since my divorce two years ago, Janet has been an oasis of joy and a welcome reprieve from the daily grind.

Janet is not the reason Krista is an addict. Janet does not get high or drunk. She does not abuse medications that have been prescribed for legitimate illnesses and/or disorders. The flamboyent behavior, the dramatic expressions, the "over-the-top" personality you saw IS Janet, unmedicated. She is over-the-top - I agree. My ex never "got" her. Yes, she's definitely unique. But that DOESN'T mean she is abusing drugs. She is an extremely talented woman who has spent most of her life in theatre. She does voice-overs for radio spots and has a mini-studio in her home where she records her dialogue and sends it to her agent. She is a loving mother to all of her daughters and her newest daughter, a beautiful Golden Retriever she rescued.

Their house is my house. When I'm over there I open the fridge to get a pop. In 20 years I have never seen any beer or alcohol. I've never seen Janet or her husband drink because we met in recovery. It's not a part of their lifestyle. When I spend an evening with the family, her husband drives out to pick us up our favorite dinner. We sit and watch a movie or Dr. Phil reruns *smile* - we scour eBay. We make a run to Starbucks. We go to the Good Will. People - she is NOT getting high!!!

She is eccentric, dramatic, and many people just don't get her. But she is also the funniest person on earth and full of life. You saw a mother at the end of her rope. You saw her daughter, a hardened full-blown addict. You didn't see Krista when she was an innocent child with a pure and gentle soul. Janet saw it, and she's seen that precious soul, her child's light darkened and ripped away by addiction.

I have teenage twin sons - Janet and her husband are their Godparents. My sons love going over to Janet's because it's always fun. Do any of you really think I would drive 35 miles to her home so my sons could witness a stoned "best friend" and Godmother? Yes, Janet has her idiosyncrasies. She can be "out there." But none of the flair for drama or erratic behavior is a consequence of drug abuse. And she certainly can not be blamed for Krista's progressive downfall.

As far as recovering people taking medication, we all have our own opinions. Some 12-step folks are very hard-core and to quote someone's other comment, "can't take Tylenol without getting anxiety." There are those that cross the line even with the best intentions and quickly build their tolerance, ending back where they started from (actually, worse). But alcoholism and depression go hand-in-hand. Some are blessed to have never been in that dark place. I have not been so fortunate, and neither has Janet, and countless others I know in the fellowship. I have been chastized for being on medication. I would like those people who point their finger at me to live in my skin with bipolar disorder, depression, and the occasional panic attack. I was attending 5 meetings a week. I was sponsoring women and was sponsored. Everyday I would wake up, talk to God and "do the next right thing" a million times a day. Throw low self esteem into the mix and I can tell you, "happy, joyous and free" were not making themselves known. It was unbelievably frustrating when I knew I was using every tool from the program available, yet I was not emotionally sober.

I chose to completely stop taking the anti-depressants and the anti-anxiety medication, Klonopin. I didn't consult my psychiatrist. Within weeks I was at the emergency room with my sponsor by my side. Any time the topic of medication dared to come up in the meetings, 95% of the attendees jumped on the anti-medication bandwagon. Eventually I thought I should never put another anything in my mouth again. I just had to "work the steps." Now I'm not criticizing the A.A. program. But I am very concerned with those who refuse to consider medication an option for SOME people. Like those of us with bipolar disorder, and anxiety so intense it comes out other ways - ways that are not emotionally sober.

I went back on my medication. I would be screwed without it. I believe God gave us doctors and the resources for medication to HELP those of us who need more than the 12 steps. Like anything, medication can be abused. I have gone down that road too. But I know the difference between abusing a prescription drug, and taking a prescription drug as directed to enhance one's sobriety. My medication is one of the tools from my toolbox of recovery. Like the onion, the longer we are removed from our past destructive lifestyle and stay clean, the stuff that had been buried as far back as childhood must come out. We are no longer anesthesizing the pain. For some of us, it comes out as depression, or panic attacks, or mania. I came into the program in 1986. But there was so much damage done over the years, and so much "bad programming" my progress has been a very long journey. Everyday is a day of self-discovery, growth, set-backs, and faith.

I have not done the program perfectly. Two years ago I handed back my 20 year A.A. coin. I was supposed to get my 21 year coin but shared with the people in that meeting that I had relapsed with prescription drugs. Those were NOT the drugs I'm prescribed from my psychiatrist.

Dr. Phil fans and readers of this board - Janet and I are very much alike, and the things I've shared in this post parallel her journey. Janet had a safe built into the wall to keep her RX meds away from Krista. You saw an utterly exhausted woman convinced her daughter is months, weeks away from death. Flying from Chicago to L.A. wasn't easy on her either - she's terrified of flying. Her husband chose not to come with her. He doesn't want to be under the spotlight. He's a wonderful man and though I wish he would have gone, I know him well enough to respect his decision. Her voice IS raspy and I'm betting she was incredibly nervous sitting in that chair in front of millions of viewers.

She doesn't use. She doesn't use. She DOESN'T use. Yes, she's been known to make some bad choices. She can be a bit compulsive. She still battles with low self-confidence. She's also a bit scattered. But she KNOWS this. Sometimes she's even able to laugh at herself. And when I am at my lowest low, she is a ROCK.

This character assasination is wrong. It's inaccurate and it's skewed. I have known Janet for 20 years. You saw her for 45 minutes. I know how she appeared on the show and maybe I'd be chiming in with the criticism if I didn't know her. I'm not saying she's without flaw or blame. But I would ask some of you to reconsider the serious accusations that are absolutely false.

Thanks for reading.


 
December 21, 2007, 7:09 am CST

hard on mom?

Quote From: lyraedro

    If mom agreed to get off the klonopin and adderall that might go a long way towards helping the daugther get off her addictive substances.  I hate to sound preachy, but it was so obvious that mom had a problem also.

I think there is a reason so many people seem to be coming down hard on the mother.

First of all, just because a doctor prescribes a medication, does not mean the person isnt abusing it.

Secondly.....what are we teaching others, most importantly our kids, when our fix to life stress is popping a pill?

I have no experience with clonapin....but adderal is an extremely addictive drug, that does produce a "high".

You are fooling yourself if you think kids dont watch and emulate how parents deal with stress.

 

Because I had children with an addict, Ive had to be extra extra cautious about how I teach my kids about medication and alternatives.

We live in a culture that has a pill for everything. Cant sleep? Take a pill. Feeling blue? Take a pill. Your kid seems wired? Give them a pill. I know parents who rush themselves and their kids to the doc at the first sign of ANYTHING in the hopes that a little pill will fix it.

Rarely do we hear about alternatives to medication. How many of us offer a cold cloth for a head-ache FIRST, instead of tylenol? A massage instead of a muscle relaxant?

It is the very idea that we feed to out kids, that a pill/medication will fix everything.

Just google some statistics on how many kids are on ADD/ADHD drugs now. How easy they are to get a prescription for.

Putting a mood-altering addictive substance into your body, or the body of your child is not a decision to be taken lightly. Its sets you up for dealing with addiction issues for a lifetime.

There is no cure for addiction.

 

 
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