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Topic : 01/15 Internet Mistakes

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Created on : Friday, January 11, 2008, 01:03:06 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Girls dancing on bars half-naked, passed out on the beach, hugging the porcelain … these are photos posted for all to see on the Web site Facebook, in a group called Thirty Reasons a Girl Should Call it a Night. These shocking and provocative pictures are supposedly submitted by the women in the photos themselves. The women say they love to have fun, and this is a way to bond with other girls just like them. But are there unforeseen consequences to letting the public behold you at your worst? Dr. Phil speaks with women on both sides of this debate. Jasmine is the moderator for the group Thirty Reasons and says, although she’s responsible for taking down questionable photos, she hasn’t found one yet! Amanda and Norma are incensed that women would degrade themselves in this way. Hear from the president of a company who uses Web sites like Facebook and MySpace to weed out potential employees. Could documenting your good time on the Internet become your biggest regret? Then, a teen who loves to drink says criticism of Thirty Reasons just reinforces the double standard of gender inequality. What do Dr. Phil and the teen’s mother think? Plus, a mayor’s sexy photo has her town’s residents outraged. And, meet a substitute teacher who says he was unfairly fired from his job two times for what’s on his MySpace page. Share your thoughts here.

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January 15, 2008, 7:36 am CST

Internet & norms

Quote From: blancasilva

There is no reason to do what they are doing, teens need to wake up, there are honest safe jobs. Please take control of your bodies. this is a very sad story.
When people see images and remarks from people, they come to believ that they are representative of a subgroup. As a woman in her twenties, I can honestly say that these types of behavior are not common. "Everyone doesn't do it". The population, however, comes to stereotype the young woman as irreresponsible and mature. I went to the hospital when I was 21 complaining of pelvic pain. With no examination, the medical staff suggested that my condition was the result of binge drinking and promiscuous behavior. I had not been drinking and I had not had sex in some time. Additionally, I have spoken with young girls who go to the university health services, explaining that they have been raped. The girls I spoke with said that the employees made the girls feel responsible for the action. I believe that this is a result of the stereotype that is being perpetuated on the internet and television. I have committed actions that I am ashamed of and do mind sharing my stories. But I share my stories to lead others away from making the same mistakes.
 
January 15, 2008, 7:39 am CST

what exactly is

Quote From: olderguywiser

The real problem about the joke done online by the politic is that people took offense because their class of people was memtioned.

As long as we put ourselves into classes of people we forget we are all human. We will never overcome all are differences as long as the media and others use it to put us into a steriotype of people.

Ron

you point, not being rude, but what do you mean?
 
January 15, 2008, 7:48 am CST

work vs internet

I feel that posting your personal life on the internet should effect your chances for possible emloyment with a company because it may ,in the long run, effect the company.  Keep your private life private.

 
January 15, 2008, 7:55 am CST

thats the problems

Quote From: kleesun

 I cannot imagine what is going through those girls' heads when they post pictures of themselves passed out or throwing up.  Why does everyone seem to think that "self-expression" means "self-humiliation"?  Write a poem, learn to play the guitar, paint . . . do something productive, if you want to express yourselves!  Hugging the porcelain isn't expressing yourself--when you're that drunk you're completely vulnerable and the only "personality" you have is the alcohol.  There isn't even a "yourself" to express.

 * * * * * *

On the other hand, I disagree that the teacher should have been fired for his music.  I agree that he should not have been promoting his band at school, even to one select student, but I think it's ridiculous and completely biased that employers seem to feel they can not hire (or fire) anyone who doesn't fit every last point on their "ideal employee" list, even in areas that do not come up in their professional settings.  Who defines "edgy music", anyway?  I think Christian rock is pushing the limits of taste but I suspect that the blues, rockabilly, and roots country I listen to at home would be more likely to get someone fired (alcohol and drug references). 

I play and listen to a lot of music of which my straight-laced employer would not approve.  However, I do not play it at work (I am allowed to play music on my office computer, but I carefully select songs with no swearing and that do not have controversial lyrics, are not noisy or really twangy, etc.).  I am careful about my demeanor and language, and I dress conservatively.  I rarely stay out late on work nights and I never allow club time to interfere with work by showing up late the next morning, etc.  (I rarely drink, and never more than one drink, which helps a lot.)  I have never been reprimanded at work, at any of my jobs, and have always gotten good reviews.  My boss does not need to know about tattoos, etc.; nobody at work knows about them and they will never see them.

My boss and my job own me 40 hours a week; they should not get to dictate what I listen to or what I look like in my private life.  I don't humiliate myself, and I don't go around blabbing that I work for so-and-so in settings with which my boss might not want to be associated (and I never say specifically for whom I work unless there is good reason to, which is usually only in professional circumstances).  I do have a MySpace page.  There is nothing on it that I would consider particularly compromising (no pictures of me in my underwear).  It is not under my real name and my hometown, alma mater, and employer are not listed on it.  I mostly go there to keep track of the bands.  I occasionally post a somewhat irreverent blog entry and some of the bands on my Friends list are pretty raw.

On the other hand--do employers ever find out anything GOOD by accident?  Because if they could overlook the psychobilly bands on the Friends list, they would find out that I'm a very good photographer and that I'm great at Internet research.  All we ever hear about is the bad stuff.
with corporate america, they rip people off and only look for the negatvie, every interview I've ever had to go through has always had negative questions, nothing positive...i think the corporations have less morals than the person searching for a job for guess what ? $$$$ we dont worship employers
 
January 15, 2008, 8:04 am CST

Making a mistake

I know girls who go out and party and trust me, they love to party but they do some stupid things. Things I know they regret. Why would anyone be proud to get drunk and post pictures of themselves throwing up? I would be embarrassed to even know a photo was on-line of me getting smashed.  
 
January 15, 2008, 8:09 am CST

Horrified by the pics

    I am currently viewing this show. I am a mother of three teen daughters. I am HORRIFIED at what I saw on the facebook pictures on the show. The degradation these young ladies have submitted themselves to is incredible! It is not FUN, as one young lady stated. The situations these young ladies are in are dangerous, degrading and humilating and it indicates the onset of an entire generation who will have alcoholism and drinking problems. Other outcomes will include how these young ladies will eventually view themselves once they have matured and realise the impact of their actions.

   The horror of the photos of the two young ladies passed out with graffiti written on their bodies.  As a mother I would CRY if my college aged or high school daughter came home with Sharpie all over them

from being passed out drunk.  The horror that it was likely that no one at the parties even cared if these girls were alright as they were passed out.  That they were just objects. What did or what could have happened to them during their passed out period?

    The implications from this show are far beyond if it is appropriate to post your pictures and if a future employer will see them!!! It is an indication of something much more sinister having an  impact on our youth and the general decline in the society they are living within and what is being felt as acceptable.

    A young college student drinking at a party and making a mistake by becoming too drunk on one occasion is what used to be for girls. Maybe it occured a few times BUT with a son in college I am hearing

that every weekend -all weekend the kids are very drunk and girls passed out. It is very scarey and I feel someone needs to reach out to these young ladies and say it is not okay to behave this way or to put yourself in these situations where your safety and self respect is at stake.

    I would love to see Dr. Phil continue with this theme and go into other outcomes this behavior could bring forth.  Please have your young high school age and above daughters watch this show! I am taping it for mine. Please talk to them and tell them of the danger of this behavior.  It is way beyond someone seeing your embarrassing moment!

 
January 15, 2008, 8:17 am CST

To the 17 year old that thinks it is fine to drink and post pictures

 First of all I find it very disturbing especially for the 17 year old girl on the show today to make bold statements about her drinking and it is fine for her to post what she wishes,
1) yes it should and will affect the rest of your life
2) even a babysitting job with your past preformance and actions shoud be considered not a job for her, I would NEVER trust someone with your choices to be in charge of my children while I was away.
3) 95% of al jobs in this world require interaction wiht other human beings, not a good choice ot post and admit a drinking issue when you WILL affect the lives and interact with others in the world.

Bad bad judgement on her part.
 
January 15, 2008, 8:24 am CST

01/15 Internet Mistakes

Quote From: realmichaud

businesses and corporations who mainly have been ripping off the American people for the last decade or so thinking they can be the moral police of peoples lives outside of work.

 

Whether you think what those girls was wrong or right, it is none of any corporations business what you post online as long as you have not broken the law. Corporations and businesses break the law everyday and get away with it.

 

Instead of the morals of the person being hired, how about the morals of the person doing the hiring and the company they work for?

Why blame big business for technology.   How much research did you do about the company you were applying for before the internet.  For example, did you have a friend that worked there did you ask them if they liked their job, if benefits were good and so on.  What is the difference with the corp. checking out its investment checking out its employee.  That is the problem with some people today they only think of the here and now they do not think of the long term effects of their actions.  Technology is good but are we out smarting ourselves!!
 
January 15, 2008, 8:33 am CST

Not Becoming and Very Distasteful

I am just watching the show and not all the way through it yet.  I think the images of girls who appear to be either passed out or very sick are disturbing.  I don't know what right she is advocating when she says men have rights women don't when it comes to this behavior????  I hold men and women to the same standard and it is unacceptable to me for my husband or my boys or my daughter or anyone I know to get sloppy drunk and throwing  up and pass out.  That is gross and not fun and not sexy.  I never dated a man who behaved in that fashion and I did not hang out with girls who did that b/c it was not fun to be with them.

 

The only thing these girls are furthering by laying on the floor passed out is the possibility of a rape against them by some creep who finds them there unconscious.  As a female I took my personal safety very seriously in college when I went to parties and bars.  I never left a drink that I purchased and I brought my own drinks to a party, never letting a guy mix my drinks therefore I knew what I was taking in and didn't get skunked, I never dranks so much as to puke or pass out.  I had a fun time in my youth without putting myself in danger.

 

I think it is very distasteful to put images of girls up like this and the whole woman's rights thing is so lame of an argument.  I can't stand NOW, but I think even they would be stunned and disappointed at what some are promoting as equal rights for women.  I think NOW is pretty shameless, but I don't think they would agree with this as they do not like images that show women in a negative light even in advertising adult beverages. 

 

Good luck with your bogus female partying cause.   This is not funny, blood alcohol poisoning is not funny and girls showing their breasts when they are smashed is not funny (so cliche, remember Girls Gone Wild, we don't need more of that).  Women unconscious is very troubling as they are at risk from a predator.

 

I am very ashamed of the younger females that are behaving in this manner and hope they will mature and show some grace and class.

 

Hurrah for the two girls who came out and spoke against this type of thing. 

 
January 15, 2008, 8:39 am CST

Rights?

I don't understant the use of the word "right" in this show.  She acts like there aren't equal rights.  Clearly she got drunk, took pictures and posted them.  Therefore  she has the right to do it all.  The right to do it is not what is the question.  Is it appropriate or harmful?  That's what is the question.

 

I'd say it is very inappropriate and it is going to be harmful to those involved if an employer sees it.  I don't know their ages, but this is the type of behavior you can be kicked off of cheerleading squad and clubs for.  I was VP of a college based marketing organization when I was in college (we were learning the ropes by taking small jobs in the community) had I posted pics of escapades like this about myself and our client seen them not only would we lose the business but I would have lost my position in the organization as VP. 

 

It is also harmful to others to present this online like it is a funny joke when young ladies will look at this and think this is how you can be cool and go out and get themselves in trouble.

 

Shame on you "Right to Get Drunk" girl.

 
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