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Topic : 07/31 "Get Rid of It!"

Number of Replies: 190
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Created on : Friday, January 25, 2008, 01:19:15 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/30/08) Is there something you’ve been hanging on to for just a little too long? Clothes you haven’t fit into since high school? Boxes of stuff you haven’t looked at in years? Dr. Phil’s guests say their loved ones need to call the junk yard and “Get rid of it!” Kim says her husband, Paul’s, Star Wars hobby has to go. With over 6,000 pieces in his collection, Paul spends 30 hours a week playing with his action figures, building models and talking to friends about Star Wars. He even included light sabers in their wedding, so shouldn’t Kim have known what she was getting into? Next, Larry and Sheila married four months ago, but Sheila says she had no idea she was getting hitched to a hoarder. Larry says she’s got it all wrong –- she’s the pack rat! With some of their favorite collections rolled out on stage, can Dr. Phil help them negotiate what goes and what stays? Plus, meet Terri, who has four storage units and two garages full of sentimental memories –- like a rubber chicken and her father’s X-rays!  She spends so much money storing her stuff that she can’t even afford health insurance. What’s at the heart of her hoarding? Tell us what you think!

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January 30, 2008, 2:43 pm CST

I did it... you can, too!

My sympathies to all, but I can relate!  My husband and I combined our households in 2002, and when his daughter moved out of his previous home, we had even more stuff to move into our 1600sf home!  And we are both "collectors" (or "clutterbugs")!  I am still working on it, but I have made great headway in recent months!  Rule 1:  You both have the right to keep things you really love.  Rule 2:  It is all just stuff.  Nothing is more important than your mutual love and peace in your home.  Rule 3:  Begin by going through all boxes and bags to identify what is now trash.  Either you threw it into containers to do a quick tidy-up for expected company, etc., or it was special then but has become crushed or deteriorated while in storage (e.g., shoes that are crushed and moldy; collectible documents like newpapers that have crumbled into bits).  Toss these items.  Old bills and receipts:  IRS has a 3 yr. statute of limitations, if you have files a return.  NO limitation if you have not filed.  7 yrs. limitation, if you may have filed a criminally fraudulent return.  This will eliminate about 1/3 to 1/2 of the stored clutter.  Rule 4:  If you are storing large inherited items, like furniture, make a decision to replace one of your own furniture pieces with each of the stored items that you feel like you must keep.  If you can't do that, it is not important enough to keep.  Rule 5:  If you are hoarding clothing, be kind to yourself.  Most non-hoarders say you should discard it if you haven't worn it in a year.  If it is a huge amount, begin with a ten-year rule.  And don't discard it, give it to a worthwhile charity.  (My favorite is a thrift store that serves abused women and children.)  Your parents would like that!  And, if you haven't been able to fit into it in ten years, you probably never will.  Or, if you do, you deserve new clothes, not old, dusty, out-of-fashion items with fabric that has deteriorated over time!  Rule 6:  If you cry as you try to force yourself to let go of something, don't let it go!  Rule 7:  If you have large collections of "collectibles" like figurines, theme items (Star Wars, etc.), etc. etc., and most is stored in boxes, set up curio cabinets, display frames, etc., and either find time to rotate it, or purge it to your most favorites and either sell the rest on eBay or donate it to the next charity auction.  I promise you, by the time you do these things, your clutter will appear much more managable, and you and your partner are entitled to take a break and go on a cruise together!  Good luck and God bless!
 
January 30, 2008, 2:47 pm CST

I'm not a Pack Rat anymore! I've De-Packed !!!

Quote From: housewife52

I used to "collect" various junk. Coffee cups, angels,pigs,cows,angel pigs, angel cows. I finally got to the point that I had too much stuff collected. About a year and a half ago I had a huge yard sale and got rid of a bunch of stuff.(Made 749.00) Since that I have been cleaning out and throwing away and taking to the Goodwill. And I also had tons of clothes and shoes. I feel better since I have gotten rid of that junk. My husband never complained about it, I just simply got tired of dusting all that stuff and I didn't wear most of the clothes I had collected. For me, once I made the decision to start cleaning out and getting rid of stuff, I couldn't do it fast enough. I'm still working on my basement. I have 2 grown children and I have boxes and boxes of thier schoolwork from K-12 grades. Why I have kept all those papers, I have no idea. I have been going through them and keeping certain cute things and tossing the rest.

The above article is so me.  I did the exact same thing as the person above and it does feel good to remove clutter.  After my sixty year old neighbor fell out of his attic and Hurricane KatrinaI I started thinking about how dificult  it would be to go through all the stuff in my attic as  I got older (I was 44 then).   I went through the attic and then every closet, dresser drawer, cabinet, garage.  I had two garage sales (made $1,200.00)  and donated 4 truckloads to Goodwill.  My husband burnt our 25 year old bank records old bills etc... Needless to say my husband was ecstatic (although he too din't complain).  It was hard going through all the stuff but accomplishing something was my goal. I now have new furniture for my home. My daughter was a Senior in high school and she  helped me go through her Pre kindergarten thru 12th grade papers I had kept all of them .  The show I saw with Terri reminded me of myself and I wanted to comment.  Dr Phil you were right it is the feeling of letting go that makes it difficult to discard items.  If you hoard things when you see them it makes you remember!

 
January 30, 2008, 2:53 pm CST

star wars rules

Okay, Larry collects Star Wars memorabilia.  Okay, he has spent $200,000 on his collection.  Guess what?  That collection is probably worth in excess of $1,000,000.  Should he spend more time with his wife?  yep!!!  Should she spend time gettng interested in his hobby?  yep!!!  She knew he was a collector before she married him.  She needs to try to take an interest in his world instead of insisting that he give everything up and come into his world.

The second couple:  Get rid of the artificial plants.  Real plants clean the air.  I don't have a lot of coats, but I wear caps and hats, and they ain't goin' nowhere.  (I agree, that he should give his coats to charity, especially if he lives in a warm climate.)  But she has much clutter to deal with.  As does he.

(I collect guitars, even though I don't play very well.  My wife would NEVER ask me to give up my instruments, or my time that I spend with them. It's part of who I am.)  She was jealous of my music at one time, about 30 years ago.  I curtailed my playiing, my dreams, and my passion.   Many years later, I came back to it, and said I would never give it up again.  And I would never ask her to give up her collection of eggs, crystal, or anything else she has.  It is part of who she is.  (The exception in both our lives is clutter.  That has to go.)

The young lady with four storage units and no health insurance needs professional help.  I agree with the good Dr on this.  My father has been dead for thirty years.  I have a few things, but I have let go.  The doc is right on with this one.

 
January 30, 2008, 2:53 pm CST

Star Wars Collector

Dr Phil,

My 36 year old son is an avid Star Wars collector for the past 30 years!  He can't stop.  His girlfriends all break up with him.  He has ruined his credit, several times.  I usually bail him out, but no more.  He is in deep depression because he does not have any credit cards to purchase this stuff now.  His bedroom and our garage is full of Star Wars collectibles.  He pays a $250  monthy fee on a very large storage facility which is full of Star Wars stuff, for the past 7 years!  He works a part time job and takes his annual vacation every year to attend Comic Con and work for the Star Wars society.  What advice can you give me?  Or what can be done for him?   

 
January 30, 2008, 2:56 pm CST

01/30 "Get Rid of It!"

Quote From: jessicad25

I have no idea what a pack rat is like.  I am the complete opposite I throw away everything.  I hate paper!!!!  If it is on the counter it is in the garbage.  I throw away checks to divorce papers.  I do have a file cabinet for the things I have to keep.  This keeps the items safe from me!  The show was very enlightening to see the complete other side of me.
I'm still learning your way.   it's not easy, it's my nature to be sentimental about things perhaps it's  a personality thing and how we were raised.  My father taught us that some things may beable to be used for other things rather than trash.  I never thought about it that way my neighbor can just throw things out with ease food included.
 
January 30, 2008, 3:08 pm CST

Addiction

Quote From: kailynsmam

This is not bout hoarding.. but did not know where to go ......

I Hav battleing addiction of drug's and alcohol for 15 yrs. My husand sAy's that I drink , uSe or Self injure because ..I am mising somethig in my life. Altho  cannot find what I am missng. I hav 6 month's sober right now and EVERYTHING to live and stay sober for .... WHY DO I CONTINUOUSLY HAVE THESE FEELING'S.

Why cannot I feel like everyone else.  I want to stay sober/not cut .. but sometimes the feeling is over whelming.

ADVICE ANY-1 .... PEASE

Sending warm thoughts to you.  Addiction changes brain chemistry and it starts to take on bigger and bigger places in your thoughts the longer you go without it.  If you  haven't found a program and a sponsor look into it immediately.  These people know what you are going through and they will help you get going one step at a time.  Don't look to next week or next year right now you can only concentrate on the next hours or the next day.  Good luck.

 
January 30, 2008, 3:13 pm CST

Appliance Books

I know that there is a possibility that some of the books for the appliances could be posted on e-bay.  I have already sold some similar to those.  Also, I noticed some vacation brochures, which have also sold on e-bay.  Not sure if she would want to go to the trouble of listing them, but wanted to let her know of the possibility.
 
January 30, 2008, 3:13 pm CST

Take a picture

I just finished watching todays episode of "Get Rid Of It!" and would like to suggest to those of you that can't seem to get rid of what you think is sentimental things from your past to use a digital camera and take pictures of your stuff.  As Dr. Phil suggested, pick those few things that you know for sure you would like to keep and then start a scrapbook (photo album) with the pictures of all the other things.  This way you can clear up the space the items are taking but still have a picture of them to be able to look at later through the years.  After all they do say "A picture says a thousand words".  I know when I take out my photo albums and go through them it brings back many happy memories.
 
January 30, 2008, 3:16 pm CST

01/30 "Get Rid of It!"

 WHY would I save things from a past marriage (over 18 years ago) when he molested my daughter, was terrible to my son, and broke my neck, etc??  I have boxes and boxes of "our" things.  I can't seem to get through them to throw them away.  The only box I went through was a box full of garbage from my kitchen that was dated back to 1982!!  HELP !!!!
 
January 30, 2008, 3:17 pm CST

I can't get rid of my kids clothes

My son is 4 and my daughter is 1 and I still have almost all of there clothes and baby items.  I just can't seem to get rid of them.  I'm pretty sure I don't want to have more kids, but I still feel awful if I try to get rid of them...just incase.  I also hold on to all my old clothes from before kids (that of course I can't fit in) so one day i may fit into them.  And i'm loaded with shoes that I never wore. 
 
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