Message Boards

Topic : 06/26 Teens Having Babies

Number of Replies: 562
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, January 25, 2008, 01:22:11 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/01/08) Parent alert: If you have a teenaged son or daughter, you'll want to sit down with him or her and watch this show! Dr. Phil takes a hard look at what happens when young girls find themselves having a baby while they're still babies themselves. It doesn’t just happen to the bad girl down the street; your child can become pregnant while living under your roof. First up, Ansley is 14 and says she's ready to have a baby now. She's so desperate to be a mom that she lied and told people she is pregnant. Her dad and stepmother say she's gone so far as to show people fake sonograms! Are Ansley's elaborate lies just ploys to get attention, or is there something more going on? When Dr. Phil shows Ansley a glimpse of what it's really like to be a teen with a baby, will she change her opinion? Next, Pam was shocked to receive a phone call from the high school principal telling her that her 16-year-old, Kaylee, was four months pregnant. She says she had no idea her daughter was even having sex! Did she miss the signs? Now eight months along, see Kaylee's emotional story of how her pregnancy has impacted her entire family. And, 19-year-old Amber is mom to an 11-month-old and recently discovered she was pregnant again. Was she trying to trap the baby's father as his mother claims? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

January 30, 2008, 5:19 pm CST

02/01 Teens Having Babies

Quote From: ramair

Neither can I. Ever since Maury Povich ran several shows about teens as young as 12 doing everything under the sun to get pregnant, I've wanted Dr Phil to tackle this issue.
I believe that it is a cry for attention and a way to be loved,  The girls I knew that were like this thought it was a way to get unconditional love. they want somene to love them and there are others that want attention my 14 yr old sis says he can wait to have a baby she said this in my room after i delivered my son i think it had more to do with al the attention i was receiving at that moment
 
January 31, 2008, 5:01 am CST

02/01 Teens Having Babies

Quote From: stephanie185

I had my son when i  just turned  20.
When i was pregnant people on the street where wispering "look ther goes another teen-mom" i hated that, people think that when teenagers have a baby that they don't know how to take care of there child, that is not true! My friend has three sons, she had her first child when she was 16 years old, her boyrfiend and her are still together, they do great! In my hometown we have a center for teen-moms, they educate, give lessons, you can do crafts there, the daycare is on the firts floor and is free, they help you when you want to go back tot school, or go to work, they even got second-hand baby stuff like clothing, beds, etc.
I was told that i couldn't get pregnant, and if i do want to have a child i must go to my doctor to start working on me getting pregnant, well, i had sex once without a condom, and i was pregnant!!!! My midwife told me that the doctors were wrong about me not getting pregnant very easy.

And a good sex-education is always a must, getting your daughter on the pil is also a must, butthats my opnion.
Not al teen-moms are bad moms, bacause there are also older moms who are bad moms.

I had my daughter at 20 also. Everyone made the statement babies havin babies. I had been married for 3 yrs when my daughter was born.  I was also told that I wouldn't have kids.But they aren't God. My husband and I love being parents. Our lil girl has changed our lives. Yes it gets hard but by the grace of God we make it every day.
 
January 31, 2008, 5:26 am CST

Defensive letters from women who gave birth as teens

There have been a number of defensive letters from women that had their first child at 18, or even 17.

 

Well, there's a big difference between those ages and 12-14!

 

I repeat, it is simply beyond me why a girl wound want to set out to have a child when she's still a child!

 
January 31, 2008, 6:48 am CST

I agree...

Quote From: aeh4543

It's hard enough to be the mother of a preschooler and an infant at age 30, let alone as a teenager. The sleepless nights, the tantrums, the health and developmental problems that may ensue - it's a lot to handle, even for someone who doesn't have to work outside the home. There are some days that the kids have irritated me so much, or I haven't gotten any sleep, that I'm happy to hand them over to my husband - and he's happy to do the same when he needs it. We feel that our children deserve both of their parents in the home, in a loving and stable relationship.

 

Growing up, my parents were supporters of Planned Parenthood, and made sure to talk to me about contraception throughout my teenage years. Fortunately I didn't need it, because I was not interested in having serious boyfriends at such a young age - I was too busy going to school and participating in extracurriculars. In other words, I only cared about myself. Was I selfish? Absolutely. I knew that I had no business having sex and risking pregnancy or STD's when I was not emotionally or financially prepared to accept the consequences.

 

Once I turned 18 and started having serious relationships, I was adamant about taking necessary precautions. I did not want to catch a disease, and I did not want to have a child without having a husband first. I had watched too many of my peers struggle with the consequences, and while I was supportive I was privately glad that I didn't have to deal with the issues they were facing.

 

I met my husband when I was 24, while we were both serving on active duty in the Army. We were bound and determined to not end up like a lot of young military people who get pregnant and then feel like they have to get married, only to get divorced within a year or two and then struggle as single parents with child support payments and custody battles. We married a little over a year after we met, and that year was spent learning about each other and ourselves, and our life goals. My husband and I are both glad that we developed our relationship before we had the kids - between our life experiences and the amount of time that had passed since reaching adulthood, we had each reached the point where we were comfortable with who we were and what we stood for.

 

The paths that we chose worked for us, but they may not work for everyone. Some young mothers (and fathers) make excellent parents, while some don't. I don't think becoming parents at a young age is a good idea, but on the same note I cannot sit in judgment and lump everyone together without knowing the circumstances of each situation.

 

All I would say to teenagers is, don't rush into something without knowing the risks and possible consequences. If you want a baby or are not using birth control, spend 24 hours caring for someone's young infant for a day, and see just how much work it is, even with two parents in the home. Please don't allow yourself or your child to suffer because you didn't have the maturity or wisdom to think things through.

 

It's all about maturity.  I'm in my mid 20's and know that I'd be a horrible parent- I'm just not ready.  Society says...at my age, I should be popping out babies like some disposable incubator before I turn 30 because of the health risks.  But I'm simply not ready for that immense life change.  I don't see why a teen would WANTa baby- it just makes everything harder (i.e. say goodbye to your free time, drain your body, time, money, relationships, freedom, career, school, friendships, ...life).  That doesn't sound like a good time to me, but whatever, I just don't get the fascination with it at that age.

 

Some people are better as older parents, some as younger.   I think a teen should wait until they have at least a high school education until they have kids, its hard to make a living even then, but I guess it can be done.  It's not that you can't be a good parent if youre a teen, but I think one would be better off waiting a few years. 

 
January 31, 2008, 10:24 am CST

Stan From the show friday

I am ansley's father and I just wanted to post this message. Ansley was born when I was 17 and a senior in highschool. I know first hand that it changes your childhood to be a parent. I think both me and her mom were good parents. However there were many things that i went through that were negative. I thought having her ended my college thinking. I got a job instead of even trying to go to college. Now at 32 i am in my second year. So if there are any parents reading this, if your child gets pregnant, please please please push them to not give up on their dreams. I am not saying they need to be relieved of the responsibility of taking care of their child, but they should be pushed to still reach for the stars.

 

thank you

stan

 
January 31, 2008, 12:33 pm CST

02/01 Teens Having Babies

Teen pregnancy is nothing new to me. I am a 20 year old mother, I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant. So when I learned of Miss spears being pregnant I felt for her. She is going to have a very tuff road ahead of her. Though with her being pregnant she unknowingly brought this "problem" to light. Hopefully people will see her and her struggle and come to realize this is a national phenomenon. I know ALOT of girls who are teen moms, one girl was only 13 when she gave birth to her son. She didn't even understand the dynamics of sex, she didn't know that what she was doing could create a new life, so when she found out she was pregnant it was a big shock.  This is going on all over because allot of states have abstinence only programs. Instead of teaching kids how to protect themselves against sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. I don't believe kids should be going out and having random sex (that is wrong), but people need to realize that sex happens and with these new times, sex is glorified. We need to get out of these ancient tactics and , teach kids that sex should wait but if you choose not to wait here's what can happen and here is how you can prevent pregnancy and diseases. If we don't they mies well put a daycare in all Jr. Highs and High schools, so these teen mothers can continue the education.

 

~Martika~

 

Illinois

 
January 31, 2008, 1:23 pm CST

Teen Pregnancy

I have seen both sides of this story.  One my friends sister in law got pregnant at 15 had the baby at 16 at first she was the perfect mother to her child, then it all started going down hill the little girl came home one day at 5 months with a burn on her leg, the mother said a lamp feel on her.  That was one of the many things that followed, the little girl calles her grandmother mommy and calls her mom by her name because she does not see her at all.  The mother will drop the little girl off and go, she has taken three people to court so far to try to her child support, guess what none of them were the fathers.  The girl wanted a baby so bad she went out and has sex with everyone I suppose.  I do feel sorry for her because I think all she wanted was someone to love her and she did not realize all the responsibilty that comes with it.

On the other hand I have seen many that became pregnant while still in high school, finish school and still be great mothers, which makes me proud of them!

 
January 31, 2008, 2:26 pm CST

Been there!!!

When I seen the previews for this upcoming show I had to send a message.

My daughter was 8 months pregnant in my home and I did not know .  She was always a little chunky and wore large t-shirts and she didn't show.  She was 17 at the time.  I went to Ohio to visit my family and everyone told me after I left she BLOSSEMED.  When I returned 30 days later I was SHOCKED.  She had the baby 2 weeks after I arrived home.  I was divorced and my two daughters and I lived in a two bedroom appartment.  we had a good relationship.  I don't know how I didn't know, and I was the kind of Mom she could have confided in me.  She went to her prom, graduation and senior trip and no one knew except her best friend.  

 

 

 
January 31, 2008, 11:29 pm CST

My story

I was a young mother. I found out I was pregnant at 15 year olds, which wasn't my first pregnancy. The first time I became pregnant was when I was 13 years olds. I actually lost that baby due to a miscarriage. I hide my pregnancy from my parents. They found out I was pregnant with my son at 3 months everyone knew but them. They asked me and I deny it. One day they decided to take me to the doctor because I was gaining weight and come to find out I was 3 months pregnant. I end up having my son 1 month and 11 days after my 16 birthday. His father never show up to the birth of my son, which made me a single mother. My son father is now somewhat in the picture. He is serving time in prison. He want be getting up until 2014. My son will be 11 the year he will be getting out of prison. I did graduated high school when I was 16 with a GPA at 3.8. I am currently in College for Utlrasound Tech.  

I just found out I am pregnant again at 20. Actually, I am 9 weeks pregnant. I am not sure if I am going to go through with this pregnancy or have an abortion. I have to make a decision in the next 15 weeks. I just don't want to be a single parent again. I have to much responsibility to have another baby. I recommend if young child are going to be an adult to think like an adult. Use a condom it is way more out their then getting pregnant. Also, children talk to your parents about sex before having sex or some other adult you trust.  I am not promoting sex, but lets be safe and responsible about it.

 
February 1, 2008, 2:02 am CST

In serious need of a WAKE UP CALL

 The 14 year old who wants to have a baby really seems to have no clue about what baby's REALLY are.  I had my first child at 17, I was married when I got pregnant and loved kids before that time so I figured why not?  Of course I had the Hollywood baby in mind that never cried, got sick, only smiled when I talked to him, pretty much a perfect baby.  Well 9 months later I got my wake up call.  I stayed for about 3 months getting about 30 minutes of sleep at a time, having him just scream louder when I tried soothing him, having him pee all over the place everytime a changed a diaper...in other words a REAL baby.  I could not hand him off to somebody when I wanted to sleep because he was MINE.  I couldn't hand him to somebody to change his really nasty diapers because he was MINE.  I couldn't give him to somebody else while he was screaming at the top of his lungs because, simply put, 'He's not our baby, he's YOUR baby'.

Before becoming pregnant you do have a choice.  Once a baby is born you can't send him back.  And it is no longer just about you and what you want but about him and what he NEEDS.

Needless to say I had my third child a little while back and I am now 24.  I am not saying it gets any easier but with my last child I felt that I was ready to be a mother and in turn am a better mother than what I was at 17.  Do not be in a hurry to grow up!  You will get there soon enough!

Melanie
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Next | Last