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Topic : 06/26 Teens Having Babies

Number of Replies: 562
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Created on : Friday, January 25, 2008, 01:22:11 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/01/08) Parent alert: If you have a teenaged son or daughter, you'll want to sit down with him or her and watch this show! Dr. Phil takes a hard look at what happens when young girls find themselves having a baby while they're still babies themselves. It doesn’t just happen to the bad girl down the street; your child can become pregnant while living under your roof. First up, Ansley is 14 and says she's ready to have a baby now. She's so desperate to be a mom that she lied and told people she is pregnant. Her dad and stepmother say she's gone so far as to show people fake sonograms! Are Ansley's elaborate lies just ploys to get attention, or is there something more going on? When Dr. Phil shows Ansley a glimpse of what it's really like to be a teen with a baby, will she change her opinion? Next, Pam was shocked to receive a phone call from the high school principal telling her that her 16-year-old, Kaylee, was four months pregnant. She says she had no idea her daughter was even having sex! Did she miss the signs? Now eight months along, see Kaylee's emotional story of how her pregnancy has impacted her entire family. And, 19-year-old Amber is mom to an 11-month-old and recently discovered she was pregnant again. Was she trying to trap the baby's father as his mother claims? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 1, 2008, 2:43 am CST

Teen Pegnancy

I just finished watcing his episode while most of you haven't even rose out of bed yet.  We live overseas with the military and we are very fortunate to get the show the same day but we are 9 hours ahead in time from Dr Phil's studio in California.

 

I have noticed that their are a lot of teen mom's posting on here about how their life is wonderful and quit calling them bad parents and they wouldn't have changed it for the world.  I know you all love you children but think about them as babies for a minute....

 

I heard someone say they went to high school and worked full time as well.  Well apparently you did not raise your children in the beginning.  Somene was watching those kids for you during school and/or during your full time job!  Mom/Dad/Grandparents....were now mom's.  Also...not only did you obviously not spend anytime taking care of your child to know how hard it is, but als that child never got any bonding time with "mommy"  Your child would have been better off born later in life when you could have been an actual mom in their life.

 

For those who say that at 15 they raised their child the right way and by themselves I say, "bull crap."  At 15 you have no education and most likely can't get a job or at least not one that will pay enough for a baby in your life.  Most likely you slept at your parents house without paying rent.  Most likely you ate your mom's cooking without having to foot the grocery bill, and most likely mom and dad lent a hand so you could get a nap.

 

I am 24 and have a 1 1/2 year old.  I love my daughter to death but she is hard work.  I have no one to help me as I am in a foreign country with parents in the states.  I know for sure that you single 15 year old mom's got way more help than you realize.

 

 

 
February 1, 2008, 2:56 am CST

02/01 Teens Having Babies

I'm a 17 year old mom. I got pregnant at 16 and had the baby when i was 17. I had the most beautiful baby girl.

I honestly believe that age doesn't always affect how good of a mother you are.

I'd like to think i'm doing a great job, my daughter is healthy and growing like a weed and is a very happy baby. So i must be doing something right.

Not every teenage mother is a bad mother.

Some have a harder time taking the responsiblity then others i think.

But being young doesn't automatically mean you're a "bad mother" and i don't think people should be looking down their noses at teenage moms. We do our best just like any mom at any age.

Every new mom is scared at 1st and doesn't know what to do. Whats the difference from being 17 from being 35? You're still going to have similar feelings about being a mom. 

 
February 1, 2008, 5:31 am CST

I got pregnant at 15

Well I got pregnant at 15 and my mom didn't know. The only way she found out was because my boyfriend at the time was talking to his uncle about it and his grandmother came in and overheard them talking. When my mom found out she flipped. She forced me to get an abortion. At the time I hated her for it, but now I thank her for it. I wouldn't have gotten where I am now with a baby in tow. Granted I got pregnant again at 21 and it was hard then to raise my daughter but my mom helped me every step of the way. I am now 37 and with another child. My children are a girl 15 and a boy 9. I told my daughter of my experience and let her know she better not even think about sex. She does have a boyfriend but I control every aspect of their relationship and so does his mother. Plus he is so scared of me he wouldn't think of doing anything with her. So yes I do regret having an abortion, but I know it was the best thing for me and I wouldn't change it. So to all these girls that had kids young good for you and I am glad things worked out for you. If my daughter was to get pregnant she will be getting an abortion. I know when she gets her period and if she is late we go straight to the doctor. So I know she wont get pregnant on my watch. Parents need to be more in tune to their girls menstrual and maybe these girls wont get pregnant.

 
February 1, 2008, 6:06 am CST

02/01 Teens Having Babies

I know someone who graduated high school with three kids. They were all seperate pregnancies. She doesn't know who the fathers are. I heard that both her older two kids are very sick, but I didn't hear about the youngest one. I also heard that she doesn't take care of her kids at all. It's her mother that does it. A friend of mine was trying to get pregnant for years. She had about six misscarriages before she finally became pregnant and gave birth about a year ago. She also doesn't know who the father is. I was shocked when I heard that teen pregnancies were down. They apparently never visited my high school. Out of 180 who graduated with me, about more than 20 were pregnant or already had a kid.
 
February 1, 2008, 7:05 am CST

I know what it's like.

I was fifteen when I met my husband; he was nineteen.  We were both active in our church.  He was an ordained minister at the time.  We dated for a while and things quickly became physical.  It wasn't long before I found out that I was pregnant.  I hid it from my parents for six months.  I believe that the reason we became sexually active was because we had too many oportunities to be alone together.  We made out on the sofa and my mom told us to "take that to my room"...so we did.  I had to drop out of honors classes to go to school at night.  I chose to be a stay at home mom rather than go to college.  I knew that I could get pregnant, but I never expected that to happen to me.  I was an honors student.  I had plans to make a career for myself, go to college.  But when I found out I was pregnant, my prorities quickly changed.  I was already engaged at 16, and I decided to get married as soon as I possibly could.  Now while that spells disaster for most teenagers, my husband and I seem to be an "exception to the rule". 
When I was 17, we got married.  I've been a stay at home mom since highschool. Now, we have a four year old daughter.  My mom was a teenaged mom, and she was a horrible mother.  My dad, raised me and my two sisters from the time I was 13.  I went through so much as a young child that I made up my mind that my children would have the best parents possible.  Chris is an awesome father, an even more amazing husband.  I was very mature for my age, mostly because I had to grow up so fast.  But the biggest thing that I think parents should do is explain to their kids the consequences of having a mature, sexual relationship.  Parents should be careful about fifteen and sixteen year olds making one person the center of their world.  One of the things I explained to the kids in our church is that our situation is very unique.  Most young men won't take responsibilities for their actions now, and it is almost always up to the young lady to make all the decisions.  You don't always stay with your first love forever.  So I tell them to make their first time special...to wait.  But in the event that they can't, to be smart about it because there are consequences other than pregnancy that most teenaged people don't concider.  But having been through all this myself, being a teenaged parent, and being raised by teenaged parents....It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  Growing up, I didn't have much of a childhood.  My mom didnt' know how to be a mom, things were abusive.  And after living with my dad, and for the first time enjoying life and living for myself, I let one night of bad judgement end it all.  I don't live for myself anymore.  At 16, I had to give up all the best parts of being a teenager.  I missed prom, couldnt' go to parties...the only thing that I did was do everything I could to take care of my son. 

 
February 1, 2008, 7:23 am CST

Lookit me, lookit meee!!!

Re Ansley's alleged "need to be a Mom", I've not seen the show yet but I won't be surprised if it turns out to be the usual story of a teen drama queen's "need" for attention. And seeing as her alleged quest has resulted in international exposure, I'd say it worked! 

As for the impregnated teens hiding their predicament, while this is not new, it's a great idea to assist parents in recognizing the possibility. Unlike previous generations the majority of today's parents spend so much time on their careers, a near must given current living expenses, they often lose sight of their child's current situation. It’s rarely intentional but it does happen.

 

 
February 1, 2008, 7:40 am CST

Teen Mothers

I can understand how the mothers feel. I am 52 and have a 15 yr old grand daughter and I love her more than anything on this earth. My daughter at the age of 17 ran away from home because the Federal Govt said that she didn't have to listen to mom or dad anymore. She ended up calling us and wanted to come home. My husband went and picked her up and she was pregnant and due in March. I took her to her doctors appointments and was never told that she had problems with her blood pressure. I asked the doctor and he told me "I can't tell you anything because she is 17 and the law won't let me." (He is now in prison for selling drugs and giving precriptions to teens that were abusers.) My grandaughter was born early and weighed only 2lbs. She fit in the palm of my hand. The doctors didn't want to let me in to see the baby because in his words "She isn't going to live thru the night." I told him that I was going in because that child didn't ask to come into this world like this and she is not going to leave without knowing that there is at least one person here that loves her. I went in and she was just laying there not moving and on a ventilator. I ran my finger across the bottom of her foot and said "How ya doin Pud?" and she started moving around and breathing on her own. They immediateley took her off the vent and she was fine. I looked at the doctor and said "See what a little love can do" and he agreed with me. He has never told a parent or grandparent since that their baby was going to die.

 

 My daughter knew exactly what she was doing when she left home. She ended up at a party and was slipped the date rape drug and two brothers rapped her. She couldn't prove which one had done it and they kept denying it so my husband and I helped her with the baby. This child has been an absolute delight. One of the boys finally admitted what happened and that he was going to take my daughter to court and take the child away from her. The person that he said this to was a friend of mine that worked for an attorney and told him that he really needed to leave it alone because he had no idea who he was messing with. I have a sort of large family and they all would have jumped in on this one because they all have jumped in and helped with this child at some point. I have warned my daughter that what goes around comes around and not to worry about this boy that it will come back and bite him in the butt big time. We found out a few weeks ago that he was killed while serving time in prison for selling cocaine. My grand daughter did have the chance to meet him about 6 years ago and she told him then that she didn't like him and to stay away from her or her grandma would take care of him. I am not from Texas but I do take care of my own. Even tho I think that my daughter was too young to have a child I put that aside and this young lady has turned out to be the most wonderful thing in my life as is her sister. They live close by and we see each other every day. I never fail to tell them that I love them and they know that as long as I live that they have a place to go in case anything happens and that if they get angry with mom to come to me and not to their friends because friends will turn on you and not be helpful when the time is needed for help. I wish my daughter had come to me before she ran away and we could have worked out the problems before she ended up pregnant. NO I don't feel that my grand daughter is a mistake, God gave her to us for a reason and that reason I feel is the closeness and love we all feel for each other. There are problems because she is a teenager but, that comes with the territory.

 

I do feel that a 14 yr old should not have children and that parents need to watch what their young teens are doing. I don't care if you don't want to be noisy, you have to be. We keep a close watch over our teens.

We don't want the same thing to happen them. We talk to them about it and they have both agreed that getting pregnant is not the answer to any problem. The answer to problems is talking to mom or grandma when a boy is trying to do things that is not allowed. I personally have stood on my front porch and told a young man that if continued to persue my grand daughter (he was 18) that the next time I would kick his butt and I said it in front of his mother and if she had anything to say about it that I would kick her butt. He of course went back to school and told his friends and they have a new found respect for my grand daughter. She is no slouch she can handle herself but I just wanted them to know that I am behind her as is the rest of this family and with my family there is probably 50 of us that would take care of any boy troubles.

 

So, parents don't be affraid to talk to your teens. I tried to talk to mine but, she was so rebelious she wouldn't listen. She says now that she wishes she had talked to me but that is the past and we can't do anything about that so we move forward and we are apparently doing good. We are there for each other like families should be. Sometimes it's hard but we continue to try.

 

I still call her Pud and she says Come on Grandma please don't do that with my friends around...And then we laugh.  She is the light of my life...

 
February 1, 2008, 8:04 am CST

It's 2008~~TEENS HAVE MORE OPTIONS

With all the options and information in the world today, one would think teens would be better informed, or the parents would be more open and willing to talk to their teens about sex and birth control and babies.

In 1974 at the age 16 I became a teen Mother, and it was one of the most difficult things that I ever had to deal with. I never told my Mother that I was pregnant. I never showed during the pregnancy and just acted like a normal teenager. When my water broke and I went into labor, I told my Mother that my back hurt, she thought I had hurt it moving things.  And said maybe I should go to the Dr. I still didn't say a word to her. She went to bed. It wasn't until about 5-4 hrs later, I went to her bedroom and told her again that my back was really hurting. (to be honest I didn't know I was in labor).  My Mom said we will go to the Dr tomorrow.  Then she asked me out of the blue if I was "pregnant",  I told her yes I was. And she asked me when the baby was due. I said now. She flew out of bed and got dressed and said we were going to the hospital. I began to protest, because we didn't have the insurance.  She began walking down the stairs of our apartment.
The hospital was about 3-4 blocks away. We would have to walk, we didn't own a car, Mom didn't know how to drive. Finally I gave in, the pain was really bad.

Right after I had the baby, it was a girl, Stasi who is 33 now. My Mom asked me if I wanted to keep her or give her up for adoption. I said to keep her.

It was a difficult task raising her. Since I was only 16, I got grounded and had to follow rules my

Mom set up.  I was to take care of Stasi on my own, no dating Stasi comes first, go back to school.

 I went back to school. I had the one class. I had to get a sitter. I graduated from my class in '75. Stasi was there to cheer her Mom on.

When my two girls got to the tween years we had "THE"  talk. I had made a deal with. It was more like a challenge.  If they had finished school, and at the age of 21, they didn't  get pregnant,  or have a baby, I would give them $500. When Stasi turn 21, I had gotten a bunch of balloons and filled them up with various bills that added up to $500, What fun we had watching her getting her money.  Today she is 33 and still she doesn't want any kids yet.

Jeni graduated from high school. She got married at the age of 20. And when she turned 21 she didn't get her $500,  a few months before her birthday, she and her husband announced they were expecting a baby.  she was pregnant on her 21 birthday, but she was also married. But they planned the baby.  So when the baby was born, my Grandson Gage (9); I decided he would get his Mothers' $500. Oh and also this was also went for my son. He got his $500. He is 27. And has no children also.  So I say my challenge was a success! And I love my kids we are very close.  My Grandson Gage, is the light of my life.

 
February 1, 2008, 8:04 am CST

02/01 Teens Having Babies

Quote From: sajones93

 

  I was 17 when I got  pregnant for my daughter.I didn't sleep around with a bunch of guy's.I was actually a quiet girl at school who got along with everyone. I  am so tired of teenagers being called bad parents for having a baby at an early age. By the time I was 22 I had two kid's and I think they have both turned out great. their both teenagers theirselves now. one is 16 and one is 13. So I wish Dr Phil would stop making all the teen mother's out to be such horrible people!!Not all of us are bad parents!!! I have been married now for almost 15 years now and I was married at 20.So that's another thing Dr Phil say's isn't good for young people. Go Figure!

Did you marry the father?  Do they have the same father?  Are you married now?

 
February 1, 2008, 8:07 am CST

i was 17 when i got pregnant!

hi my name is maritza,I have been with my husband for 6 years now, and i  got pregnant right after high school. i was only 17 at the time. never in one million years did the thought of abortion come to my mind. i had always told my mother that if i were to get pregnant at a young age, that it would be my responsibility to take care of that baby. and as it happened, i did! but " I " am the one who is taking care of my baby's! i do consider my self one of the lucky ones, cause I'm still with the father of my baby's. i have two girls, i was 19 when i got pregnant with my second baby, and just because i got pregnant, that didn't mean that my life is over!! if i had the chance to do something differently, i wouldn't. i could still go to college, and get a degree. i also have a best friend that got pregnant at 16 and had  her first baby while she was still in high school. and she graduated, and is married to the father of her baby's as well! so it really angers me when people make girls out to be "bad" for getting pregnant at a young age! i actually didn't think it was as hard to take care of a baby as people made it sound! it was actually really easy, with both of my girls. sure there is times when you think you can't do it, but every parent goes through those times whether you are 15 or 50. so all i want to say is that just because you have a baby at a young age, that doesn't mean that your life is over, it might be on hold for a couple of years, but you can always pick up were you left off.  so stop giving girls such a bad rep. for being young mothers!!
 
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