Topic : 02/29 Follow-Ups

First off let me start by saying if Rochelle reads this I do not want your husband. That little message that you sent to all women who don't agree with the way you treat  your husband...well to be honest with you most people who watched the show would not agree with the way you treat him. You should be grateful that you have someone that treats you well. There are so many women in the world that are in an abusive relationship and many of those women would give anything to have someone who would do things for them and treat them well. I believe that you should treat your spouse with diginity and respect. That is the way that my marriage works and you don't see me sitting on the Dr. Phil show. No one is perfect...and yes, that goes for you as well. As for John you MUST love this woman to stay with her. Personally I don't know how you could live in a relationship like this but that is your business. I believe that Rochelle needs professional help because to hear her talk it sounds to me like she thinks there is nothing wrong with her actions. Obviously her approach is not working...I mean give me a break all she has changed is she got rid of her calendar. I think if John doesnt want botox she should drop it...I mean if the roles were reversed I can only imagine what she would say or do if he went to her everyday and told her she needed botox.  I just think this whole image she has about how he should wait on her hand and foot and do everything she asks of him perfectly is ridiculous!

 yes chatting is unacceptable, but just looking at porn, i dont find anything wrong with it, my hubby does it all the time and it doesnt bother me at all, i even bought him a playboy for his stocking at christmas...lol,
i think many more guys do it then what women think.....if you just accept that he does it then it wont bother you as much, i have even watched the cheap porn you get on tv late at night, we usually just end up laughing at it because it is so cheesy like most porn, my suggestion is too show you are cool about it and just laugh it off, it really isnt that big of a deal unless you make it a big deal, let go and relax a little.

To all and hopefully I will get a response from Rochelle herself:

 

      I am almost 35 years old and used to live acrossed the street from Rochelle's sister when I was growing up. I used to babysit for Michelle's children who I believe was on the Original show with her but Rochelle asked me one time if I would mind helping her at her appartment. I said yes of course because I was only 12 or 13 and making money was a big deal. I remember going to her apartment and her having me take down her Christmas tree. I remember her paying me $100 which I to this day remember getting and I remember she had a telephone in her bathroom and I thought only rich people would do that. :)

 

My thing now after seeing her again is what did she think of me doing stuff she didn't give me a note book or anything and if she was perfection what did she think of what I did. Rochelle if you don't remember me it is Jodi and I babysat for Michelle and Dave when they had just one and two children and by the time the third one came along I was working and dating and that was about the time they moved.  I don't remember Rochelle like she is on the show, but I was younger. They (the sisters) always seemed to be happy, and I love all of them especially Michelle and Dave and their kids. Haven't seen any of them for over ten years, would love to talk to them now like old times just sitting around the kitchen table for hours talking..........  

  yes chatting is unacceptable, but just looking at porn, i dont find anything wrong with it, my hubby does it all the time and it doesnt bother me at all, i even bought him a playboy for his stocking at christmas...lol,
i think many more guys do it then what women think.....if you just accept that he does it then it wont bother you as much, we have even watched the cheap porn you get on tv late at night, we usually just end up laughing at it because it is so cheesy like most porn, my suggestion is too show you are cool about it and just laugh it off, it really isnt that big of a deal unless you make it a big deal, let go and relax a little.

 

You found out 6 months ago after being married a year and  a half.  Was it possible that he's been hiding this from you for longer?  Is this a newly developed habit or has he been looking at this stuff for years?

He CAN control himself, believe it or not.  I understand the fact that men are "wired for sex"and very visual, but he's using neurochemistry to justify not controlling how he chooses to gratify that or who he hurts when he disregards your feelings .

 

Not ALL men do this, many do, yes, but that doesn't mean he needs to do it too!

 

If you've confronted him and he knows this hurts you and doesn't care, then HE has a major problem.  It maybe an addiction.  I think that he needs therapy if he doesn't mind hurting you like this.  Don't believe that he'll cheat if he can't have access to porn because you're really  afraid of losing him and you need to be assertive if you want this to stop.  If he DOES go and cheat, then you know that he's either addicted to sex or doesn't care about you.  Stand your ground, if this really bothers you, go to counseling.

 

In addition to a possible sex addiction, it may just be something as simple as being sexually compatible.  Maybe he just needs it more often, and then negotiate how often without the porn behind closed doors.

You are absolutely correct., to some extent.

 

As a former member of NOW, I left the organization after I realized that many people say they want equality but what they want is preferential treatment. They want sexism of a different kind. It's great when a woman marries a man half her age but horrible when a guy marries a young woman half his age. It's ok when a woman controls a man or marries a man for money but not vice versa.

 

Sexism or abuse or materialism (etc) of ANY kind is not acceptable and shouldn't be tolerated. It is NOT funny when anybody is mistreated. With that said, men and women are adults and free to choose who they want to live with.

 

I don't feel the guest is so weak and battered (emotionally) that he can't walk away from his wife. I do think that he simply prefers the type of life he's living. It's easier for him. He doesn't have to work hard at it. She does all the emotional work. He jumps when she says jump. They are both horrible role models for children.

 

Each adult gets some kind of payoff out of their sick, sad relationship. They wouldn't know "normal" or true happiness if it bit them both in the arse! If Dr. Phil felt the man were "abused," you can bet he wouldn't be laughing. Nobody can make the husband want something different (better) for himself. HE has to want it...and he apparently doesnt.

 

If no one takes Rochelle up on her offer to make John happier or try to I think that is what he deserves but when we take vows they are till death do us part and you make the best of it. I think he needs to demand some counseling and I agree with others WHY did dr phil stay so laid back on this issue? Dr.Phil I know you don't like people telling you what to do but I think you need to invite John back on the show and offer this poor couple some real help. Rochelle has changed did you see her poodle up on the counter when they ate what happened to setting the table in the exact way lol............................... I love you Rochelle, wish I would have been able to meet John but he wasn't around in the years you and I knew each other,

 

 

Also about that challange I would imagine that the woman don't want to have to deal with Rochelle so they won't try but she also probably had a tight leash on him he might be fishing and boating and on and on but it don't come for free and he probably has a time clock to punch I do feel sorry for John and I also ask what do Michelle and Renne think about this? And the hugest thing is thank heavens they are smart enough to not have children in the pic.           That would be awful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and to just think what a babysitter would go threw if they had to babysit for her.                  But I would do it she pays well................lol

Rochelle isn't the reason I've been watching Dr. Phil for nine years but she does get credit for getting me started. I remember how hard on her Dr. Phil was the first time around. I thought to myself, "Finally! A talk show host who won't always take the woman's side!" Before Dr. Phil every talk show seemed to be entirely about male bashing. He was the first one to take a really balanced view and make women take responsibility for their own part in messed up relationships.

You must be VERY young. People stay in bad marriages for years....for MANY different reasons....often sick reasons. And anyone who woud allow herself to be "exaggerated" for TV in such a horrible way would really have to be a stupid person. Sorry, I ain't buying it.

 

Rochelle has problems. I believe she needs therapy. She's insecure and unhappy. Happy, secure, confident people don't feel the need to treat others the way she treats someone she supposedly loves.

 

John is a very sad man. Imagine the world he is missing by staying with someone who treats him no better than the dirt on the bottom of her shoe. I have been married 18 years to a wonderful man. We are raising 2 children together. We spend our free time together and with our children. We attend church together, sporting events together, dine with our friends, visit our great relatives, volunteer in the community and truly have a wonderful life together.  In 18 years, I have never been called a mean name by my husband. I have gained 100 lbs and have been called nothing but "beautiful." Life could not be better for us. It's ALL about respect! I feel sorry for those who are missing out on what could be!