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Topic : 03/12 Let’s Talk about Sex

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Created on : Friday, March 07, 2008, 11:34:24 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Over 50 percent of men and only 19 percent of women say they think about it several times a day. On the average, you do it almost 100 times a year. No, you don’t have a dirty mind – the topic is SEX! With the help of renowned OB/GYN Lisa Masterson, Dr. Phil tackles sex issues, and you might be surprised at how much you can relate! First up, Jason says his wife, Sylvia, has two personalities: Sylvia the 6th grade school teacher and Sylvia the sex maniac. Can the couple find a happy medium with what goes on in their bedroom? Then, Robin and Tom have been engaged for four years but haven’t set a wedding date. Tom says there’s something his betrothed won’t do that’s keeping him from saying, "I do." Can Dr. Masterson help Robin rescue her relationship? Next, statistics show that nearly 10 percent of women never have an orgasm through sexual activity. Becki says she had her first -- and last -- in 1998. Could her problem be biological? Be there when she hears her test results after a full examination. And, meet a couple who says they have sex up to six times a day. Is there such a thing as too much? Plus, Dr. Masterson answers your most embarrassing questions about sex. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

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anonymousfan

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March 12, 2008, 3:51 pm PDT

No orgasm!

OMG! I was married for 18 years and dated for 23 years and NEVER had orgasm during intercourse. Good thing my EX knew how to satisfy by other means. Ok, so divorce from him came and this one guy and I do it sideways and guess what? That was my very first orgasm during intercourse! Who would have thought?

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PennyLane78

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March 12, 2008, 3:55 pm PDT

03/12 Let’s Talk about Sex

Quote From: drphils1fan

I can't believe there is this "myth" going around in the medical community that women can't have vaginal orgasiams! What bollocks! When will they figure it out when a woman hasn't any hormonal problems or any other "problems" other than a lack of true chemistry with her partner.......this is why women have a hard time vaginally orgasiaming. I am a woman who doesn't have a problem having thunderclapping oceanic earth shattering vaginal orgasiams. For years I thought something was "wrong" with me because I couldn't have regular vaginal orgasiams. Little did I know I did not have true compatible chemistry with the partners I was choosing to have sexual intercourse with. I had a handful of vaginal orgasims by mere chance in my earlier sex life. Late bloomer at 21 years old trying to be the good girl so much so I ended up choosing wrong partners. I swore off sex from 24 to 31 years of age because I thought something was wrong with me and because I thought best to play the good girl role once again then again proceeded to choose more wrong partners in to my late 30's. Finally I found someone I finally have true chemistry with and now have regular toe curling screaming my own name vaginal orgasiams along with throw down clitoral orgasiams as well. Separately not together though......my vagina cancels out my clitoris and visa versa when I am ready to experience one or the other. My partner is respectful of this (not like my other partners when I told them I didn't like it) and doesn't insist like some men that he needs to try and stimulate me both ways at one time to help me achieve an orgasiam. Actually it is nice this way because it gives me more versatility in my sex life. My partner is thrilled that if I don't feel like having one or the other orgasiam then I am at least up for one (if not both!!!!). Enough said.............

" I can't believe there is this "myth" going around in the medical community that women can't have vaginal orgasiams!"

No one said that! LOL...Where did you get THAT from?

"When will they figure it out when a woman hasn't any hormonal problems or any other "problems" other than a lack of true chemistry with her partner.......this is why women have a hard time vaginally orgasiaming."

Now THAT is a MYTH if I ever heard one! Not every woman can have vaginal ONLY orgasms! I certainly can't and I have NO other problems.

Just because YOU don't have a "problem" having vaginal orgasms doesn't mean that that is what is "normal" for every other woman. You aren't the standard for crying out loud!

"True chemistry" doesn't even MEAN anything! What are you talking about?!

Please, stop pushing around completely false ideas. The Dr. Masterson knows her stuff, she's an intelligent and EDUCATED MEDICAL DOCTOR. You are NOT.

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swittich

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March 12, 2008, 4:00 pm PDT

Get some help... read on.....

Quote From: householdceo

I am so glad the lady with a low libido was on the show! My situation is so similar to hers. When my husband and I were dating we had a lot of sex and still did once we got married. Then we had 2 babies in 13 months and since then my libido had diminished drastically. This is starting to seriously effect my relationship with my husband. He thinks I just don't find him attractive anymore which certainly isn't the case. It's just that by the time we go to bed I'm tired and I usually think that if I have sex it will take away from my sleep time. I want to know how to get my libido back so we can get our sexual relationship somewhere even close to where it used to be.

First thing.... is do you have a free babysitter?? I take my grandkids for over nights, or weekends so there is a break from baby stress.. Kids will take too much out of you... and......

So your hubby understand how tired you are ... have him keep the kids for a full day and go out with a girl friend or sister or mother and see a movie and go out to eat... get your hair done. When you come back in no less then....10 hours, ask your hubby if he understands that you need rest and some wind down time..

Until you can be rested and not have the kids in the home... it can be very difficult..

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danik2112

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March 12, 2008, 4:01 pm PDT

03/12 Let’s Talk about Sex

Quote From: rainpainrain

Well for now, I wouldn't really worry about it a lot, you are 4 months pregnant, your sex life won't get back to normal for....well...my daughter will be 4 in a couple months and I am still waiting for mine to be normal..LOL

Jk,

But really, you are pregnant, every woman is different, each pregnancy is different....

I think you guys need marital counseling...your husbands comments are troubling and so are yours.

I guess I should have put this in my first set of comments, but when he said the comment about "using him to get pregnant" he was completely kidding. His sex drive is extremely high and I feel completely fortunate for finding him and being able to make him happy enough to marry me and to have a baby (he was one of those never getting married and never having children kinda guys). We are completely happy in everything else except for the sex thing, that is honestly our only problem! Hopefully no one thinks I'm married to a terrible man because I'm not, he's an amazing husband and I know he'll be the same with our baby.

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cdallas

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March 12, 2008, 4:01 pm PDT

Lonely & Undesired

I am only 27, been married for 3.5 years, my husband & I have have not had sex in almost 2 years! I also think that I am a pretty & attractive girl, but I don't feel this from my husband. He always calls me 'beautiful' and I actually hate that because I feel it is a pet word, but not really how he feels about me. I think I would ever cheat on him, but I do get very frustrated. We tried counseling about 2 years ago, and we would just go home & get into arguments & he would just threaten to divorce me when he became too frustrated saying that I deserve someone better. I would tell him over & over again that he is the only one that I want, but he just doesn't hear it. Since I don't want to get divorced, I feel my only option is to live in this marriage this way. Before counseling we would have sex maybe once every 1-2 months sometimes shorter sometimes a longer stint. However the sex was very short & he never seemed to try to put any effort into trying to please me. Ever since counseling, we have not had sex (nearly 2 yrs ago). What's even worse, is I feel that I am starting not to care how I look. I have always taken pride in the way I dress, my appearance, exercising, etc. I used to be 105 lbs & 5'4", & in the past year I have gained just over 15 lbs! I just don't think I care anymore. I am also starting to feel really guilty about having thoughts of being with other people because I love my husband & I don't want anyone else or want to be with anyone else, but I feel so neglected & undesired....and I don't feel 'beautiful.'

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leron88

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March 12, 2008, 4:02 pm PDT

03/12 Let’s Talk about Sex

Quote From: sandyrn0224

Perhaps it is of no importance to the ob/gyn on the show OR Dr. Phil but IC is a VERY painful disease. Imagine having the 'feeling' of having a REALLY BAD UTI every single day of your life...intense pain in your bladder, watching bladder tissue literally fall into the toilet, taking pain medications because you can't live your life in agony, living with watching what you eat because it bothers your bladder if you eat something too acidic you will pay for it for days or weeks, and last but not least, having painful sex!!!!!! IC was totally dismissed in this part of the show and I feel like Dr. Phil owes all IC patients all over the world an apology. It's NOT in our heads, it's diagnosed by a medical procedure in most cases that shows an angry, red, inflammed bladder without infection.....no wonder the poor woman can't have sex...Imagine trying to have penile penetration and having a screaming bladder at the same time.

I have been a loyal fan for years but I am ANGRY today. Not all sexual issues are caused by a screwy hormone level and it surely isn't all in our heads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I totally agree with you on this!! I have IC and after I watched the show I felt very let down by Dr Phil.

This is a real and painful disease. And it cause so much pain during sex. Anyone with IC can understand why the lady on the show would not want or have a sex drive being that she has IC..

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deb5756

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March 12, 2008, 4:07 pm PDT

Orgasims andSex

I was married for 19 years but with the same man for 11 years before the marriage. During that 30 year period I probably had 5 orgasims. He was never concerned with pleasing me sexually. I thought I had a problem. We separated almost 5 years ago and were divorced last year. I met a wonderful man who has shown me what making love is all about. He has introduced me to sex toys which enhance our lovemaking. I have bought various KY lotions which have also added to our lovemaking.

To Becki, I say give the toys and the KY lotions a try and especially try to relax. If you truly love your husband and he truly loves you, which I think is the case, the love making between the two of you can be out of this world. Don't worry about the children or get a babysitter and make a night of it. You really will be quite pleased. Sex of any type is not dirty when it is between two consenting adults who love one another.

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swittich

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March 12, 2008, 4:08 pm PDT

Movie

Quote From: curious80

I have been married for almost one year, and have been with my hubby for 4 years. We have a great sex life, and he satisfies me, and I know I satisfy him as well. He is always showing me affection, with or without sex, and everyone says they see how much he loves me.

BUT, he surfs porn on the internet alot. I found a whole file full of little video clips and pics of porn. Nothing too extreme, just normal boy on girl porn, but it really hurt me when I first saw it. When I confronted him about it he said that it absolutely had nothing to do with me not pleasing him, it is just something he always looked at, even before we were together.

When I told him that it made me feel like I was not satisfying him, or that I was no longer attractive to him, he was very considerate and erased all of it from the computer. But from time to time I have found some porn sites on the computer that he has been to. Nothing has changed in our sex life, and if anything right now it has gotten better, as we are trying to have a baby.

I have talked to some of my friends about this and even my mother, and they all pretty much say that almost all men check out porn. It has nothing to do with us, it is just a stimulating thing they need.

Am i crazy

My friend says she was tired of the computer thing and she bought the movie Lady Chaderly 1-2 and 3 ... or something like that.. and she watches it with him... She liked the idea she was picking what he was looking at.. I know that men never stop looking or commenting... even in to the 50s and 60s.. so maybe that would be better.

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babybrain

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March 12, 2008, 4:18 pm PDT

help

My husband and I have been married for about a year and a half, I am 5 months pregnant with our first child. My problem is that I have no interest in sex with him. I do have a high sex drive but I do not feel turned on by him. He has been feeling very rejected and I feel terrible that I make him feel this way. I do love him, he is an amazing person, very caring and would do anything for me. I feel like maybe I married him because we got along so well and were such good friends and had the same values etc....but now I am so scared of what maight happen since I am having our child and I just cant seem to be happy in our relationship without being sexually satisfied... It is even to the point now where I feel like I am being villated when he touches me, and when I do have sex with him I want to cry... It is all I think about... I wonder how much is really me and how I am feeling and/ or how much is being amplified because of the pregnancy/hormones etc... Has anyone ever overcome feelings like this?? I just want to be happy : (

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auntiebetty

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March 12, 2008, 4:19 pm PDT

IC

Quote From: leron88

I totally agree with you on this!! I have IC and after I watched the show I felt very let down by Dr Phil.

This is a real and painful disease. And it cause so much pain during sex. Anyone with IC can understand why the lady on the show would not want or have a sex drive being that she has IC..

You couldn't have said this better. I was so upset that the guest's mention of IC was totally ignored. I'm sure Dr. Phil isn't aware of it but the Ob/Gyn should have heard of it even if it isn't commonly diagnosed. The pain of IC can be so excruciating that the thought of anything that would exacerbate it is enough to make any person back off from sex. I wish someone (Dr. Phil, Oprah with Dr. Oz) would have a show about this debilitaing problem for women.

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