I am a single mother, soon to be fourthy three. I am a recovering alcoholic. At an early age I gave birth to my son who soon will be 23 ,(I was clean during my pregnancy)Tim was born with his disabilities. I was not ready,nor fit to be a mother at the time. My son lived with my parents for several years. Before I go any further I must say, you may judge after you have walked in my shoes. any way. My son Timothy was born with several disabilities; Siezures, legally blind, cerebral palsy, brain cyst, severe MR(developmental delay), ADHD, OCD, and very severe behavioral issues before he could walk. Tim could not speak, nor walk, nor make eye contact, and did not want to be held. Most of all Tim was extremely aggressive at an early age. He was kicked out of a disability program for severely biting a little girl. Even at age the age of three it would take more than one person to physically restrain him so that he would not hurt any one or himself. Tim almost died from a very serious seizure, and an infection he had gotten at birth. So through the years I got my self togehter went back to school, had some college courses, and begun to mature. But nothing could prepare for what the road ahead had in store for us. next. My parents cared for my son, and during those years my family struggled very musch to care for my son. At that tiome the state required you to give up your child in order to seek services in which could help. I sought to help my son and become the parent I was suppose to be. It was time. I found a facility for my son, and made one of many difficult decissions I would soon find myself doing. I fought the state and school system to fund the services that could possibly help Tim, and I began to learn more about disability laws and civil rights. I learned by heart the IDEA Article 7, Special Ed. As I drove to the facility my heart was ripping inside as my son, who could use little words at this time and learned to walk, was kicking at the door and biting on me. He only knew he would be away from the only thing he knew, his family. This was the longest ride of my life, today this was the start of a life as I see it know. During the 6 hour ordeal I made many phone calls that I could not do this. I did, and on the way home I prayed as I have never prayed before. I made a commitment to my son and my self that we would recover together and some how get through this, I prayed for my son not to be so violent, but it just was not so easy. I traveled every week end, called almost daily, when the year was up and tim had only gotten worse and growing, I sought a not for profit facility closer to home, pushed for funding under the school, and begun a long and grueling eight years at this facility. I mean while got involved with disability groups through the Governotrs council, I called and got very furious with doctors, staff, educators and so on if they were not helping, nor abiding by IDEA. My son could not do basic thing for himself, dress , he would wet himself, spit, kick, bite, cuss (when he learned to speak) then he would flee, run away- into traffic with no regard for his safety, head band, oh and so much more aching things that still today make me cry. In one month my son was restrain for his own safety more than two thousand hours in a little over one month. he would kick at doors till he broke bones. Fast forward. Tim had brain surgery, I recived waiver funding, and Tim had improved to the piont of moving home. I bought a house, which I almost lost because of school problems, tim being voilent, seizures.
I too have felt very lost, and scarred at times I was not sure about living, I felt so down , alone, broken spiritual, emotionally, finacially, physically, and mostly I did not believe I could do anything. I have left out a lot. But today my son has been aggressive free for 2 years, he can put together an 8-9 word sentence, he is having some very wonderful cognitive break throughs. He has leasrned to cook some things and do many things that many thought he would never do. God made women moms for a reason, as we mature the nuture of the natural motherlyness will tak over. I found faith, and stayed on the course that I hoped would lead us to where we are today. By the grace of God I learned that some times things I thought were behaviors of tims were things in myself that I needed to change to become a better person all the way around. Compassion for other human beings. The road was very, very hard, and I could of left my whole family, as I was good at doing when I was a teen, But I choose to stay, no matter what the cost of the journey was. I believe God challenges us in times to see what we will do and to make us stronger for the plans he has for us to do later. I would have never believed anyone if they told then, what I know now I would not have beliedved them. I did how ever have hope, and did everything I could. I sought Doctors who was the best in thier practice, family couseling, behavioral mangment, took part in fuctuions for disabilities, learned the most important document to man, the Constitution, I was an open book to try almost anything and learn any thing I could to help not only my son, but me dealing with helping my son, and all the other feeling s that you have when your child is disabled. My son is and always has been a very special gift. What I have learned can only be tuaght by God. He truly is my miracle boy.
seek help and never believe everything they say, if you never try you will never know, and if it does not work keep faith and try something else. God Bless
Advocate , parent , guardian , and bussiness owner for special needs.
Angela & Timothy
(Original Air Dare: 03/25/08) Motherhood isn't always about the good times, like baking brownies and having game night with the family. Dr. Phil talks to women who say they can’t cope with their children, and they’re running out of resources. Robyn adopted her 10-year-old daughter, Alyssa, six years ago from the Ukraine and says she actually has thoughts of sending the girl back. Robyn says that Alyssa hasn’t bonded with her and doesn’t know how to love anyone. She says her daughter screams, cries, yells and even threatened to kill herself! Robyn’s husband, Joe, can’t imagine living without his adoptive daughter and intends to stand by his commitment to the child. What's the real reason Robyn never bonded with Alyssa? Then, Cyndi says if she’d known her 12-year-old son, Alex, had autism and Down syndrome, she may not have brought him into the world. She says he hits himself, screams, grunts at the top of his lungs and wears two pairs of diapers at a time because he’s not potty trained. Her husband, Ulis, says he doesn’t find it difficult to care for Alex, but Cyndi says she’s exhausted and overwhelmed. Should the boy be institutionalized? Find out what Dr. Phil thinks. Plus, meet a mom with four kids who’s already left home twice. Now she’s scared she may leave again — this time for good. Talk about the show here.
