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Topic : 04/16 Drug Troubles

Number of Replies: 218
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Created on : Friday, April 11, 2008, 08:21:09 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Parents, if you wonder whether your teenager has a drug problem, pay close attention to today’s show. What you may think is normal teen behavior can turn into big trouble fast. Rick and Dawn say they’re at war with their 17-year-old son, Brad. They say he smokes marijuana, skips school, flies into rages, kicks holes in the walls, and even got into a drunken brawl with his father at his 16th birthday party! Brad admits that he smokes pot every day before school, but says everyone he knows is doing it. Dr. Phil has some hard questions for Brad and his parents. Is this just typical teen behavior, or is Brad an addict? Then, don’t miss an update with the heroin-addicted twin sisters, Sarah and Tecoa. Find out which twin went missing, and follow their friend, Joani’s, exhaustive search to bring her back to Dr. Phil. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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June 11, 2008, 8:05 am CDT

un beliveable!!

Quote From: cndrlla

Unfortunately, coverage of the Pope's arrival in the U.S. ruined the show today here in my city so I only got to see about the first 20 minutes of the show.

 

What I did see, however, really made me mad. This 17 year old boy is already in serious trouble, and his parents are a mess! What rational thinking adult parent encourages their 16 year old to drink at home EVER? And the pot smoking? How stupid is that? I am SO tired of these wimpy parents wanting to be "cool" and their kids' "friends". Your kids don't need or want you to be their friend! They need strong guidance and common sense parenting!

 

And, by the way, Mom, you said you didn't allow your son to get a driver's license at 16 because he was using drugs and alcohol...but, here he is, at 17, exhibiting the same stupid behavior and he's driving a Mustang? A hot, fast car....I know because I owned one myself in '95. Giving that kid a car is like putting a loaded weapon in his hands. I truly resent your irresponsibility....and his...because I, and people I love are on those roads, too!

 

Who paid for that car? Who pays the insurance? I'd be willing to bet it's not your son! Just one more way you caved and are enabling him.

 

And those holes in the walls? Oh boy! HE would be paying for the materials to fix them, AND would be fixing them himself, each and every time!

 

(I don't know if Dr. Phil's advice to put the kid in rehab today was followed since I didn't see the end of the show...but, I truly hope so!!)

 

You lazy parents really are infuriating! You pamper and spoil your little darlings all their lives until they become out-of-control teens and THEN you suddenly want to jerk a knot in their tails, and you can't figure out why they can't be reined in. Discipline STARTS when they are tiny when you lay down the ground rules, and you stick with those rules CONSISTENTLY!

 

Don't you understand that kids need and want that discipline, and will push the boundaries until they get it? You're not out to win a popularity contest; your goal is to raise your children into good, responsible stable adults!  THEN you can be their friend!!    

Let me guess you have teens? and are any of them addicts? if you answered NO to either then how can you even judge.  You have NO idea of what it is like to fight the addiction with your child.  Did you ever think it has nothing to do with the "items" he is given but with the crowd that is around him and in a hour long show you can not learn what is going on in a child's life.  I have a son that fights the same addiction every day and i watch the struggle he has when one or more of the enablers try to come around, as a parent you can only do so much.  I DO pay for the truck, I DO pay the insurance and I HAVE taken it all away and will he will not get it back till he can PROVE he is clean!!  Just because we as parents can give our kids these things why is it they are SPOILED? has it ever occurred to any one that maybe we just like to see them smile once in awhile?.  AS for you calling these parents LAZY... you are the JOKE... you can fight with all your might to help your addicted child but that doesn't always work....  Your family must be perfect so i guess you can cast the stones, mine it is not am i LAZY cuz my teen became addicted? NO!!! i am not at 18 he still has to tell me where and who he will be with and they have to pick him up cuz right now he's not allowed to drive.  I hope that people like you will never have to endure what parents with addicted teens have to go thru, or maybe you should volunteer at a rehab center for teens see it first hand, they come from all walks of life, then get back on here and apologize to this mother who struggles day to day.
 
June 16, 2008, 6:09 am CDT

Thank you so very much.

Quote From: mom1818

Let me guess you have teens? and are any of them addicts? if you answered NO to either then how can you even judge.  You have NO idea of what it is like to fight the addiction with your child.  Did you ever think it has nothing to do with the "items" he is given but with the crowd that is around him and in a hour long show you can not learn what is going on in a child's life.  I have a son that fights the same addiction every day and i watch the struggle he has when one or more of the enablers try to come around, as a parent you can only do so much.  I DO pay for the truck, I DO pay the insurance and I HAVE taken it all away and will he will not get it back till he can PROVE he is clean!!  Just because we as parents can give our kids these things why is it they are SPOILED? has it ever occurred to any one that maybe we just like to see them smile once in awhile?.  AS for you calling these parents LAZY... you are the JOKE... you can fight with all your might to help your addicted child but that doesn't always work....  Your family must be perfect so i guess you can cast the stones, mine it is not am i LAZY cuz my teen became addicted? NO!!! i am not at 18 he still has to tell me where and who he will be with and they have to pick him up cuz right now he's not allowed to drive.  I hope that people like you will never have to endure what parents with addicted teens have to go thru, or maybe you should volunteer at a rehab center for teens see it first hand, they come from all walks of life, then get back on here and apologize to this mother who struggles day to day.

First let me thank you from the bottom of my heart.  When I come back and forth to this message board and read some of this my heart breaks again and again.  You understand and I thank you for that.  No judgement.  Just understanding.  Because you are so very right, noone knows until we walk in each other's shoes. To answer the questions from the previous writer-  We absolutely do not let him drive the Mustang.  We bought the mustang for our oldest son.  It is a 2001.  He worked and paid for it and bought himself a truck.  The mustang is paid for and my son Cole wanted to leave it for Brad.  We do pay for the insurance.  THat is because Brad is not liscensed nor does he drive it.  He just knows it is there when and if he can stay clean and sober.  You are right.  It is a weapon.  And I will not allow my son to use that weapon until he has proven he can be responsible. The damage and destruction he has caused of course he has to pay for and fix them.  Of course he has consequences. -  Just so everyone knows, I feel undescribable guilt each and every day of my life.  Did I do the right thing?  Was I a good mom?  Did I give him too much? Did I give him too little?   What could I have done better?  I will live with those and so many more all of my life.  We do have 3 other older children none of which have an addiction.  To the mom who wrote this letter.  Again thanks.  I so know what you are talking about and my heart aches that you are going through this or have gone through this too.  My goal in doing the Dr. Phil show was not only to get help for my son but to maybe show people that there is help out there and we are not alone.  We too struggle continuously with enablers trying to come around.  We struggle with knowing where he is at and who he is with.  I feel I live in a constant state of worry and concern.  But I do know that each day is a new day and each day is a day that things can be better.  I love and adore Bradley.  No matter what.  But I am not blinded by the struggle he lives with.  I pray that life can be wonderful for our children.  I pray that we as parents can see the joy in their lives and watch them live it.  I know in my heart it can happen.

 
June 16, 2008, 6:16 am CDT

Hi

Quote From: mrsenergy

No need to apologize.  We both have 'lives' to attend to.  I do not expect quick responses to my messages.  Its just nice to know that every now and then I can come in here and there you'll be.  My update is a good one.  Like I said before, he spent 3 days in a hospital rehab and is now attending therapy sessions with a reputable doctor and is taking his medication where one of us can see him put that pill in his mouth every single day.  He did have a craving a couple of days after he left the hospital, but by the grace of God (and there is no other answer), he turned around and came right back home.  We all understood and gave him our unending support.  Thats what they need you know.  Our unending support.  No matter how difficult, how painful, how upset, how infuriated we get as parents, what it truly comes down to is a families support.  I am convinced of that.  And prayer.  Can't forget prayer.  Yes, a possible awesome outcome.  You are correct.  Every day our son is growing stronger physically and mentally.  We are all so proud of him.  It has been one hell of a journey.  (Pardon my French)  As I told my son, one day he will be a role model for someone with an addiction problem and will be able to help that person.  Probably that person isn't even born yet.  But one day he'll be there for someone else.  I too lost my mother when I was 13 years old.  I had to grow up quickly.  My father left town and I had to live with friends from school.  Never had the luxury of attending a college and had to make it on my own.  To which I am very proud to say that after 54 years of living, I think I did pretty well for myself.   I know only too well how a persons heart breaks when Mother's Day rolls around and all the holidays that we are to spend with family.  Thats why when I got married and we found out a baby was one the way (our son) it was a gloriious day for all of us.  I couldn't wait to be a mom.  You too?  I imagine so.  Some women are born to be mothers.  I always knew I was one of them.  I am proud to be a mother to both my children.  (I also have a beautiful daughter who is 20).  She's the straight and narrow one.  (Thank you Jesus)   Okay.  I'm babbling.  Thanks for the reply.  Talk to you whenever you need me.    Hugs !!   Diana 
Hi Diana.  Sounds like things are going well for you.  I am so happy for you.  We are struggling with Bradley.  Failed a drug test for marijuana the other day.  Just doesn't seem to think it is causing a problem. He figures if he is working full time etc.... hasn't had a temper problem...... then he has it under "control".  So was not a great weekend.  I sometimes feel so defeated and scared.  But today is a new day.  EAch minute is a new minute.  So we go on...... And yes you are right, thank you Jesus for our children that do not struggle with this problem.  I have three others.  They are as heart broken as we are.  But they too, love and adore Brad and there is strength in numbers so we take the new day and the new breath of fresh air and keep moving forward.  Hugs back.  Dawn
 
August 17, 2008, 6:59 pm CDT

Let's use some objectivity

I watch the Dr Phil show occasionally when I have time and I usually find Phil himself quite objective and open minded. He tries to relate to people on a real level so that both the audience and the subjects understand him and his reasoning.

 

However I think he completely missed the ticket on this show. The premise was great and had the young man been completely destroying his life, there might have been some substance. However (and Phil quickly realised this), Brad was incredibly bright and his arguments against Phil's reasoning very valid. I study law and philiosophical logic and Brad was completely right. If there is ever a person who 'wins' an argument, it was Brad in this case.

 

I understand Phil's slightly irrational apprehension torwards any sort of mind altering substance, but to openly state that he understands when friends have a few drinks with dinner and then tell this part time marijuana smoker that HE is wrong is entirely hypocritical. As any logical person should know, abusing ANYTHING is bad. Food can kill just as easily as cigarettes and both kill 10,000 times more each year than marijuana. Brad was, in my opinion, in charge of his emotions and thoughts and his decision to smoke marijuana based in an unhappy relationship with his parents. As he had (rightly so) no control over their actions to change, he decided to relieve some tension with an accessible substance; this happened to be marijuana and not alocohol as is the societal norm.

 

This show provoked me to research the real health risks associated with the various mind altering substances available in our society and most would be surprised to know that marijuana is far safer than even cigarettes when used with some measure of intelligence. It appears the idiots who smoke then drive and have accidents give the responsible a bad name - just as it is with alcohol. Not to shed a completely skew light on the subject, marijuana can increase the risk of later developing schizophrenia in those prone to it (=1% population) when used in late adolescence. It also appears that, as is the case with alcohol, high doses of MDMA, amphetamines and psychoactives can lead to serious health risks and death but when used in moderation appeared no more harmful than alcohol and cause thousands of times less deaths and injuries each year.

 
October 1, 2008, 11:05 am CDT

Come on

Quote From: jassmith

I watch the Dr Phil show occasionally when I have time and I usually find Phil himself quite objective and open minded. He tries to relate to people on a real level so that both the audience and the subjects understand him and his reasoning.

 

However I think he completely missed the ticket on this show. The premise was great and had the young man been completely destroying his life, there might have been some substance. However (and Phil quickly realised this), Brad was incredibly bright and his arguments against Phil's reasoning very valid. I study law and philiosophical logic and Brad was completely right. If there is ever a person who 'wins' an argument, it was Brad in this case.

 

I understand Phil's slightly irrational apprehension torwards any sort of mind altering substance, but to openly state that he understands when friends have a few drinks with dinner and then tell this part time marijuana smoker that HE is wrong is entirely hypocritical. As any logical person should know, abusing ANYTHING is bad. Food can kill just as easily as cigarettes and both kill 10,000 times more each year than marijuana. Brad was, in my opinion, in charge of his emotions and thoughts and his decision to smoke marijuana based in an unhappy relationship with his parents. As he had (rightly so) no control over their actions to change, he decided to relieve some tension with an accessible substance; this happened to be marijuana and not alocohol as is the societal norm.

 

This show provoked me to research the real health risks associated with the various mind altering substances available in our society and most would be surprised to know that marijuana is far safer than even cigarettes when used with some measure of intelligence. It appears the idiots who smoke then drive and have accidents give the responsible a bad name - just as it is with alcohol. Not to shed a completely skew light on the subject, marijuana can increase the risk of later developing schizophrenia in those prone to it (=1% population) when used in late adolescence. It also appears that, as is the case with alcohol, high doses of MDMA, amphetamines and psychoactives can lead to serious health risks and death but when used in moderation appeared no more harmful than alcohol and cause thousands of times less deaths and injuries each year.

If you are studying the Law then you know that marijuana is illegal.

 If a person only steals a little bit does that make it ok?

 
October 13, 2008, 7:23 am CDT

04/16 Drug Troubles

Quote From: sseeaml

If you are studying the Law then you know that marijuana is illegal.

 If a person only steals a little bit does that make it ok?

Absolutely correct.  Marijuana is illegal.  Yes Brad is smart and articulate and has great arguments.  But contrary to belief he and I have a wonderful relationship.  He is doing well.  And again, marijuana is illegal.  So no matter what argument or desire or problem a person has does not make it okay.  My hope and desire in doing this show was to not only help my son and our family but to help others out there that feel noone cares and noone listens and noone understands.  I understand.  I am listening and I care.  Thanks to those of you out there that are listening also.
 
November 11, 2008, 12:46 pm CST

TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS

This is a wonderful group and apparently it is not well known. With all the wonderful work you do Dr Phil. I think these folks deserve some air time. You could reach millions and save a lot of lives.They are a non  profit group and I learned about them from my 13 year old. She is anti smokeing-anti drug-anti cutting. This group is all about help they have a my space. I think they deserve a look. God bless you Dr. Phil for all you do. Anna Armstrong

 
November 26, 2008, 9:09 am CST

04/16 Drug Troubles

Quote From: patcience

This is a wonderful group and apparently it is not well known. With all the wonderful work you do Dr Phil. I think these folks deserve some air time. You could reach millions and save a lot of lives.They are a non  profit group and I learned about them from my 13 year old. She is anti smokeing-anti drug-anti cutting. This group is all about help they have a my space. I think they deserve a look. God bless you Dr. Phil for all you do. Anna Armstrong

Please tell me how to reach this group.  Sounds Awesome.

 
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