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Topic : 07/01 A Secret Inside: Extreme Hoarding

Number of Replies: 343
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Created on : Friday, April 25, 2008, 02:58:59 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/28/08) Imagine being forced to dwell in a space that is so cluttered with junk, food and trash, you can barely walk. Nancy and her boyfriend, Bob, live this nightmare every day. In their two homes, flies and plastic containers fill the kitchen, moldy food is stuffed in four refrigerators, and boxes and plastic bags litter the house. The two youngest children sleep on the same couch in the living room, because one's bedroom is cluttered, and the other child doesn't even have a bedroom! Nancy, a former nurse, admits to being an extreme hoarder, but how did she and Bob, a former corporate attorney, allow their lives to degenerate to this chaotic clutter? Their home is trashed, and they're in debt $100,000. Could other issues be contributing to the chaos in the house as well? Hear from the three children, 16, 11 and 9, who are trapped in this mess. Are Nancy and Bob finally ready to rescue their family from the rubble before the kids' lives are ruined forever? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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April 28, 2008, 7:18 am CDT

Hording

I had a mother that was an extreme horder.  She went to garage sales on Saturdays and bought things with no real purpose or goal.  She was not organized either so if she could not find something, she just went out and bought a new one.  I believe that extreme shopping was filling a need and can turn into an addiction.  When she became ill with Alzheimers, I had full power to start throwing and that is exactly what happened.  You can call your local county department's home economic department and ask them what the shelf life of things are. 
 
April 28, 2008, 7:48 am CDT

Protection for the children

The showed touched on the most important thing - the children.  Yes, there are many factors behind hoarding and sufferers need help.  However, a more important and immediate concern is the children.  Not only are there health and safety concerns, but the long term emotional issues will haunt the children forever.  From the example set by parents, they may become hoarders too.

 

Thankfully, there are people who will risk a friendship to bring a situation out in the open as was the case today.  These people are few and far between and as shown on today's show are met with hostility for "interferring".   This leave absolutely no one to safeguard the safety of the children.   Would Dr Phil have a show about pedofiles and paint them as "needing help"?  Of course not.  The victims are the children, not those who suffer from pedo or hoarding.   The children's safety should be the primary focus.

 

As mentioned on today's show, the police were involved 30 times.  Was Child Protective Services  involved?  My guess is if they did, nothing was done to protect the children.   I have personally seen a situation where time and time again CPS doesn't not see hoarding as a detriment to the child.  If there are no broken bones, blood, etc, there is no neglect.  Even in cases where enviromental neglect was found, all they felt was necessary was guidence for the offender.  

 

Thankfully, your show at least touched on the real issue - children and not just the hoarders as victims of circumstances.  Perhaps someone, somewhere in Protective Services will make the connection.   I'd love to see someone from CPS in Dr Phill's hot seat trying to explain why they don't think living in a pig style isn't child abuse.   

 
April 28, 2008, 7:59 am CDT

How does this happen to a person?

Watching the show about hoarding.....I am amazed at this woman...my heart breaks for her, the boyfriend and those poor children!!

She mentioned keeping the fresh food in the garage during the winter months...then said the cats stay out there during the winter....HELLO...the cats are smart enough to know where the fresh food is!! So how fresh is it really for those kids to be eating?

PLEAS GET THOSE KIDS OUT OF THERE!!!


Anyone notice how much that woman is smiling...almost as if she's proud!!

 
April 28, 2008, 8:43 am CDT

04/28 A Secret Inside: Extreme Hoarding

THANK GOD FOR LOWES
 
April 28, 2008, 8:45 am CDT

my heart really does out to these children

My mother is an extreme hoarder.  She use to babysit for me but I had to stop taking my kids to her since I realized how toxic even spending only a few hours in such filth and smell affected my kids.  It's taken me almost eight years to try to get my kids to understand that grandmom has a problem and that she is living in a very bad situation, but the kids in this segment may not come out of this one unscaved.  At least one of these kids will show the affect of their environment externally and the other internally.  I know I have both situation in my household, thanks to my mom, and explaining to my kids that grandmom is not well has been more difficult than I could have imagined.  She took care of them from the ages 3 and 5 to 8 and 10 while I went to college because I had no other resource but I really did regret this move.  I had to use all those thinking techniques I learned in college to de-program my own kids...and I'm still working on them to this date.  Dr. Phil, my heart truly goes out to these children.
 
April 28, 2008, 8:46 am CDT

04/28 A Secret Inside: Extreme Hoarding

Quote From: grandadjay

The showed touched on the most important thing - the children.  Yes, there are many factors behind hoarding and sufferers need help.  However, a more important and immediate concern is the children.  Not only are there health and safety concerns, but the long term emotional issues will haunt the children forever.  From the example set by parents, they may become hoarders too.

 

Thankfully, there are people who will risk a friendship to bring a situation out in the open as was the case today.  These people are few and far between and as shown on today's show are met with hostility for "interferring".   This leave absolutely no one to safeguard the safety of the children.   Would Dr Phil have a show about pedofiles and paint them as "needing help"?  Of course not.  The victims are the children, not those who suffer from pedo or hoarding.   The children's safety should be the primary focus.

 

As mentioned on today's show, the police were involved 30 times.  Was Child Protective Services  involved?  My guess is if they did, nothing was done to protect the children.   I have personally seen a situation where time and time again CPS doesn't not see hoarding as a detriment to the child.  If there are no broken bones, blood, etc, there is no neglect.  Even in cases where enviromental neglect was found, all they felt was necessary was guidence for the offender.  

 

Thankfully, your show at least touched on the real issue - children and not just the hoarders as victims of circumstances.  Perhaps someone, somewhere in Protective Services will make the connection.   I'd love to see someone from CPS in Dr Phill's hot seat trying to explain why they don't think living in a pig style isn't child abuse.   

maybe the children will hate clutter and filth after having to live in it with there mother for so many years, i bet they will keep a house clean enough to perform open heart sergury on the kitchen table if they had to.
 
April 28, 2008, 8:48 am CDT

04/28 A Secret Inside: Extreme Hoarding

 i dont think ill post any more bad words about this show, as the children have already lived enough hell with out me adding to there problems.
 
April 28, 2008, 9:14 am CDT

Secret Hoarding

Hi

I wonder how do people just let things get that far out of control. That has to be so hard on the kids and family members. Why hasnt anybody helped this couple before now. How did they keep this from friends. Those kids have to be so embarrassed by there parents. I am a person who has a hard time leaving a few dishes to spend quality time with my family, it drives me crazy. Im a fanatic when it comes to dishes and keeping my house clean for my family it drives my family nuts because Im that way. Well I hope they can get help and over come this.                                        Mary From Wisconsin

 
April 28, 2008, 9:24 am CDT

CPS doesn't have a clue....

Quote From: sunnylashel

I turned my daughter in for the conditions she was forcing her son to live in.  She was given 30 days to clean it up.  She proved she was working at it and they dropped the case.  Once the 'threat' was over, she went back to her slovenly ways.

 

The thing that is hard to believe is how these folks can walk out of those homes looking perfect and squeaky clean!!  My daughter has spent 19 years in the Air Force...HOW can she be such a pig at home?  How can she deprive her son of a place to play or have friends over? 

 

While she was in Iraq, my grandson and I gutted his room and redid it.  The 2 cats had used his room for a litter pan so I gave them away.  It hurt him but as we pulled the rug off the floor...he understood.  We discovered mold and mildew also.  I became physically sick several times a day!  After hauling his mothers things out of his room and putting the 20 large bottles of laundry soap and 32 bottles of softener in the laundry room, went through the shopping bags and put things away...the room became manageable.  We spent most of the summer on his room because we could only work on 1/4th of it at a time and I had a broken leg. 

 

We started on her room and the laundry room.  The cats had used her room also.  Her room is half  the basement and was piled to within inches of the ceiling.  6 months later and it looks even worse than when we cleaned it up!  AND she's in debt again!  I had control of her money when she was in Iraq.  I got all her debts paid off and had over 5 thousand in savings for her!

 

I just threatened her again so she's attempting to clean up.  My grandson is now 11 and it's becoming harder and harder to explain to his friends why they can't come play at his house.  He can't even let them in the front door!

 

My daughter refuses 'professional help' because of her job in the Air Force.  She has NO organizational skills.  I get her organized and she does well for awhile, but eventually she buys so much that there is just NO place to go with it all.  I don't know what to do anymore!  You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!  She's got a huge heart and does a lot of charity work but I tell her charity begins at home and she just rolls her eyes.  It's a no win situation.

 

I hope to learn how to get through to her by watching this show.  They have to WANT help to GET help!

 

CPS has some very strange rules when it comes to removing a child from his home.  Most of the time they just threaten.  How would the school know when the child comes to school in designer clothes and squeaky clean? 

 

Sunny 

They either have their heads in the sand as to the long term affects of hoarding on children or they are like most government workers with top heavy bueracracy that dictates inefficiency.  Inefficiency often turns to not caring and trying to lighten ones work load.  

 

The job of protecting children should be given to police and not a division of social services who become jaded with dealing with the indignant.

 

Sunny, I'd love to talk to you.  It sounds like we both care about our grandkids.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
April 28, 2008, 9:33 am CDT

Up to Dr Phill???

Quote From: tc19671

I cannot believe that in a time of child neglect at an all  time high, that people who decide to live like this are not loosing their children. Not only are they endangering their children and potionally exposing them to many illnesses, that authorities are not stepping in to remove these children. It sickens me to know that the department of child services are not involved in the care of these children. School officals have to be made aware, the town needs to be aware, and CPS needs to be made aware. And Dr. Phil it looks like it is up to you to make sure these children are removed  from this filth and madness that their parents have put them in, maybe if parents cared more about the children they chose to have instead of their own chaos the children would be better off, I am a foster parent and it makes me so angry to know that parents hide this situation and so nothing is done to help the children, apparently not even the extended family cares enough about these children to get them out, Shame on those family members.

On one hand, Dr Phil or the producers are to be commended for puting this show on.  Kudos for not treating it like a "boo hoo, pity me"  for being a horader, spectacle like Oprah did last year.  At least this show came across with some caring for the kids.   There have been a number of comments about the children and lack of action by CPS.  The big question is will Dr Phil do anything about it?   Is it important enought for him to do a follow up with authorities?   Or isn't there enough shock value for ratings in that idea?

 

 

 
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