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Topic : 06/30 Inappropriate In-laws

Number of Replies: 248
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Created on : Friday, April 25, 2008, 03:04:05 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/01/08) When couples tie the knot, they don't just marry each other; they get hitched to their spouse’s entire family. But what would you do if your in-laws were demanding, condescending and sometimes violent? Bambi hasn’t spoken to her daughter, Kendra, for two years, and she blames her son-in-law, Adam. Bambi says she and Adam got into a heated argument in which she not only slapped him, but also went looking for a gun to shoot him! Kendra says her mother was way out of line for physically assaulting Adam and doesn't know if she can change her controlling ways. Bambi says Kendra is dead to her — and even built a makeshift gravesite in her yard to symbolize her grief. The irascible in-law says she's desperate to reconcile with Kendra -- but not Adam. Will the couple accept her terms?  Join the discussion.

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April 28, 2008, 8:18 am CDT

In-Laws from Hell

If I were the child of that mother I would feel very hurt that she would make a grave. That shows she has a real problem! Does she not love her kid at all? Yes, in-laws can do inappropriate things, but that mother needs to see a psychiatrist! Slapping the husband is so wrong on so many levels. She is a control freak and a violent one! She needs to let them have their own life and they need to move far away from that mother as soon as possible!

 
April 28, 2008, 8:29 am CDT

In-Laws from Hell

Kendra's mother is one sick lady! Making a grave pretending her daugher is dead? Oh My God! That poor daughter must feel very hurt. Her mother doesn't really love her does she? What a violent control freak! She needs to let them lead theri own lives, and see a psychiatrist! That couple needs to move far away as soon as possible! Parents do this kind of thing because they feel that they will be ignored. Their child is their whole life, and when Kendra got married, her mother felt alone, and inappropriately angry. She will never get her daughter back, as she has ruined any hope of that, and she will obviously be alone, because nobody else will want to be around her. I just hope Kendra married for love and not to get away from her mother.

 
April 28, 2008, 8:31 am CDT

You in-;aws from hell

Quote From: daunie78

I have in-laws from hell also.  They made every joyous event a nightmare, and that was my fault because I gave them the power to do so.  I have never been good at ignoring, but as Dr. Phil has used the term, my mil could piss off a statue.  I never did anything right, from child reaering to cooking, to where my furniture was if I went out, I would come home and find furniture moved, closets reorganized, or even switched around to the point of me not being able to find the dishes, because they were no longer in the cabinet they used to be.  She told me to be open and honest with her, yet when I was she would violently explode on me, and spew her venom.  She had nothing but negative comments when we bought our firsat home, the house next door was also for sale, she finagled her way in to see it,all while our inspection of our home was going on, then pulls me next door and starts saying isn't this house nicer wouldn't you rather have this house?  My husband got so annoyed with her, he told her to knock it off, at this point I was three months pregnant, because my husband, her son, scolded her, she visciously attacked me verbally in the car, screaming at me that he wouls never have spoken to her that way if I didn't put it in his head to do so, that I have no right to speak to him about her, and that all I do is cause trouble by telling my husband the things she says or does......Basically stating that her son has no mind or ears or mouth of his own, I tell him what she says, and then tell him how he should feel about it.  The end result is that we now have nothing to do with her or my FIL, they are venomous people, and they made our lives a living hell, even to the point of speaking badly about me to our older child.  That was really the last straw, that and the belittling our parenting to us in front of the children to the point when the kids were around all of us, she was the go to guy, and they said she was the oldest so she was in charge, her words obviously.  We would tell the kids no, the would ask her she would hear us say know and allow them to do it anyway, my son started looking at us and smirking when this would happen as if he knew we had no control when she was around.
I would move as far away as possible! Living in the same city just invited her to cause problems. Does she live with you and your husband? I noticed you said she was moving furniture around. Definitely get her a place of her own and move away!
 
April 28, 2008, 9:07 am CDT

05/01 Inappropriate In-laws

Quote From: sfjenn

I would move as far away as possible! Living in the same city just invited her to cause problems. Does she live with you and your husband? I noticed you said she was moving furniture around. Definitely get her a place of her own and move away!
No she does not live with us, we have nothing to do with my husbands parents anymore, it got way to bad, and they were way to controlling, and venomous!
 
April 28, 2008, 10:58 am CDT

I am sorry

Quote From: daunie78

My husbands family is a nightmare, it was like his mother wants no other woman in her son's lives, it is freudian at best.  We also have nothing to do with them, and our lives are far more peaceful for excommmunicating.  I find comfort in watches these shows on Dr. Phil, because then I don't feel like we are the only family with these issues.  They have had nothing to do with our daughter, yet my husbands son from his first marriage is the golden boy.  My step son was living with us full time, and they would come over bearing gifts for him, and nothing for our daughter who is definately their biological grandchild.  Our daughter is almost two, I had to buy another baby records book, and they are now down as deceased as per my husbands wishes, because he says to him they are dead.  We watched an episode of Dr. Phil in which he asked a son how he would feel if his mother died, the woman was also a monster-in-law, My husband told me that his mother and father are already dead to him, he did his morning the day he stopped all contact with them.  We fought with this no contact thing for a long time, but it got tiring always having to be the bigger person, and my m-i-l would never apologize for anything.  It was always an I'm sorry you feel that way, or I'm sorry you took it that way.
I am so sorry that your husband family has put ya'll through so much.I think it's wrong for them to treat the grandkids differently there's no reason for that. My mom always treated my husband like he was one of her own kids. My daughter is her only grandkid when my mom was alive she loved my daughter dearly. My husband's dad and step-mom are good to me they have nothing to do with my husband's brothers because they have tried to breakup their marriage too. If my husband's folks offend us they do apologize to us. My mom would do the same. I hope you can heal yourselves and your daughter.
 
April 28, 2008, 9:55 pm CDT

"How do you solve a problem like Maria?"

Quote From: daunie78

I have in-laws from hell also.  They made every joyous event a nightmare, and that was my fault because I gave them the power to do so.  I have never been good at ignoring, but as Dr. Phil has used the term, my mil could piss off a statue.  I never did anything right, from child reaering to cooking, to where my furniture was if I went out, I would come home and find furniture moved, closets reorganized, or even switched around to the point of me not being able to find the dishes, because they were no longer in the cabinet they used to be.  She told me to be open and honest with her, yet when I was she would violently explode on me, and spew her venom.  She had nothing but negative comments when we bought our firsat home, the house next door was also for sale, she finagled her way in to see it,all while our inspection of our home was going on, then pulls me next door and starts saying isn't this house nicer wouldn't you rather have this house?  My husband got so annoyed with her, he told her to knock it off, at this point I was three months pregnant, because my husband, her son, scolded her, she visciously attacked me verbally in the car, screaming at me that he wouls never have spoken to her that way if I didn't put it in his head to do so, that I have no right to speak to him about her, and that all I do is cause trouble by telling my husband the things she says or does......Basically stating that her son has no mind or ears or mouth of his own, I tell him what she says, and then tell him how he should feel about it.  The end result is that we now have nothing to do with her or my FIL, they are venomous people, and they made our lives a living hell, even to the point of speaking badly about me to our older child.  That was really the last straw, that and the belittling our parenting to us in front of the children to the point when the kids were around all of us, she was the go to guy, and they said she was the oldest so she was in charge, her words obviously.  We would tell the kids no, the would ask her she would hear us say know and allow them to do it anyway, my son started looking at us and smirking when this would happen as if he knew we had no control when she was around.

 

      If I were you, I'd tell your husband he's gonna have to get his own Mother's Day card for her.  If he insists upon going to her house, refuse to go.  You have an excellent reason.  Winding up in the court room stating your plea in an assault case isn't a fun thing to do. I personally think you should not forgive and forget, but avoid any meeting with her.  (You don't have one civil thing to say to one another, anyway)   

             

     

 
April 29, 2008, 11:45 am CDT

05/01 Inappropriate In-laws

Quote From: daunie78

My husbands family is a nightmare, it was like his mother wants no other woman in her son's lives, it is freudian at best.  We also have nothing to do with them, and our lives are far more peaceful for excommmunicating.  I find comfort in watches these shows on Dr. Phil, because then I don't feel like we are the only family with these issues.  They have had nothing to do with our daughter, yet my husbands son from his first marriage is the golden boy.  My step son was living with us full time, and they would come over bearing gifts for him, and nothing for our daughter who is definately their biological grandchild.  Our daughter is almost two, I had to buy another baby records book, and they are now down as deceased as per my husbands wishes, because he says to him they are dead.  We watched an episode of Dr. Phil in which he asked a son how he would feel if his mother died, the woman was also a monster-in-law, My husband told me that his mother and father are already dead to him, he did his morning the day he stopped all contact with them.  We fought with this no contact thing for a long time, but it got tiring always having to be the bigger person, and my m-i-l would never apologize for anything.  It was always an I'm sorry you feel that way, or I'm sorry you took it that way.
Sounds like your MIL pulls the same "sorry you fell that way" and "sorry you took it that way" crap most of Dr Phil's MIL and Mil-to-be quests pull on their kids, S/DIL's and S/DIL's-to-be.
 
April 30, 2008, 10:20 pm CDT

05/01 Inappropriate In-laws

i cant wait to see this show today when it airs, cant say much about it as of yet but i think that woman with that grave in her back yard should go cover all that up,and get that head stone out of Thar,as for her going to get a gun and shoot that young man she really should rethink her strategy,for 1, that would be murder,#2 her daughter ain't in that grave, doc that woman is sick,i hope you are able to get her some help,if not that young man may want to think about packing his bags and getting out of that town,i know i would have left when i saw the head stone in her back yard, what do you think the police would have done had they been chasing a criminal and he ran through her back yard and they saw that grave? its possible they would have let the criminal escape and went to arrest her for murder, what is this country coming to? what in the hell are they putting in the water these days?
 
April 30, 2008, 10:24 pm CDT

05/01 Inappropriate In-laws

Quote From: daunie78

I have in-laws from hell also.  They made every joyous event a nightmare, and that was my fault because I gave them the power to do so.  I have never been good at ignoring, but as Dr. Phil has used the term, my mil could piss off a statue.  I never did anything right, from child reaering to cooking, to where my furniture was if I went out, I would come home and find furniture moved, closets reorganized, or even switched around to the point of me not being able to find the dishes, because they were no longer in the cabinet they used to be.  She told me to be open and honest with her, yet when I was she would violently explode on me, and spew her venom.  She had nothing but negative comments when we bought our firsat home, the house next door was also for sale, she finagled her way in to see it,all while our inspection of our home was going on, then pulls me next door and starts saying isn't this house nicer wouldn't you rather have this house?  My husband got so annoyed with her, he told her to knock it off, at this point I was three months pregnant, because my husband, her son, scolded her, she visciously attacked me verbally in the car, screaming at me that he wouls never have spoken to her that way if I didn't put it in his head to do so, that I have no right to speak to him about her, and that all I do is cause trouble by telling my husband the things she says or does......Basically stating that her son has no mind or ears or mouth of his own, I tell him what she says, and then tell him how he should feel about it.  The end result is that we now have nothing to do with her or my FIL, they are venomous people, and they made our lives a living hell, even to the point of speaking badly about me to our older child.  That was really the last straw, that and the belittling our parenting to us in front of the children to the point when the kids were around all of us, she was the go to guy, and they said she was the oldest so she was in charge, her words obviously.  We would tell the kids no, the would ask her she would hear us say know and allow them to do it anyway, my son started looking at us and smirking when this would happen as if he knew we had no control when she was around.
well you could do like this woman going to be on todays show did, dig a grave in your back yard and put up a grave marker with their names on it, they will get the message, i got a few relatives i wish i would have thought about doing that too.
 
April 30, 2008, 10:27 pm CDT

05/01 Inappropriate In-laws

Quote From: sfjenn

If I were the child of that mother I would feel very hurt that she would make a grave. That shows she has a real problem! Does she not love her kid at all? Yes, in-laws can do inappropriate things, but that mother needs to see a psychiatrist! Slapping the husband is so wrong on so many levels. She is a control freak and a violent one! She needs to let them have their own life and they need to move far away from that mother as soon as possible!

oh hell yeah i would feel worse than hurt that would scare the living hell out of me, i know i would be packing and fast as hell too. a head stone with my name on it would do the trick, she would not have to get a shovel out of her garage for me to get the hint.
 
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