Message Boards

Topic : 07/18 The Cougar Craze

Number of Replies: 584
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, April 25, 2008, 03:06:03 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date 05/02/08) Demi Moore did it. So did Madonna and Halle Berry. This trend of older women dating younger men is called the Cougar Craze, and it’s sweeping the country. Recently, at a New York speed-dating event, Sugar Mamas and Boy Toys, good-looking 35-year-old men wooed women over 35 who made at least $500,000 a year. Jeremy organized the event and says he was just answering a demand from affluent ladies. Was he sincere in his matchmaking or just out to make a buck? Dr. Phil talks to two women who participated in the event -- Gail, 44, and Nancy, 50. Their experiences might surprise you. Then, 51-year-old Kat says she’s no cougar; she just likes to date younger guys because men her age are set in their ways. She says her 23-year-old ex-boyfriend, Ryon, was loving, passionate and had a much higher libido than older men. Her friend, Nancy, says Kat has a great head for business, but a bad one when it comes to the opposite sex. She says young men just see dollar signs when they see Kat. Is Kat dating down, or should Nancy just butt out? And, Bobbi had an 11-year relationship with a man who was 17 years her junior, but she says once she turned 50, he saw her as too old. She wants to be in a relationship again, but not with an older man. Her son, Nathan, says someone still wet behind the ears can’t appreciate all Bobbi has to offer. Does Nathan have the right to put his foot down with his mother? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

April 26, 2008, 8:47 am CDT

05/02 The Cougar Craze

So, Bobbi, once she turned 50, got dumped by her 33-year-old boyfriend of 11 years? Well. that's the breaks when these gals choose much younger men over those closer to their own age. Dr Phil's had these older-woman-younger-man couples on his show in the past. And, warned them about how, in later years, the aging process can can make the older woman far less attractive to the younger man. In Bobbi's case, the age difference between 22 and 39 is less obvious, to her boyfriend, than between 33 and 50. And, 53 and 70. Due to health issues. Bobbi should listen to her son. She's already been deemed too old, and dumped by one long-term,  much younger boyfriend. Does she really want to risk repeating the same type experience with another?
 
April 26, 2008, 11:37 am CDT

What's the problem?

Men date women who are younger.  So what's the problem with the other way around?  On a dating website I'm on, I see men in their 60s looking for men in their 30s and 40s.  Now I think that's a little extreme and I would not want to date men 20-30 yers younger than I am.  But a lot of men my age are just too "old."  I am 66 and would prefer dating a man 5-10 years younger rather than 5-10 years older.  But age is really a matter of attitude, not calendar years, anyway.  Once people are mature adults, I don't think it makes much of a differencce, if the common life goals and interests are there.
 
April 26, 2008, 12:35 pm CDT

whatever

It's a shame that its such a huge topic for older women to date younger men when men have been doing th same thing or EONS basically. Ohhhh but an older guy with a younger girl is considered a "Stud" or whatever and the older woman is called a cougar.....a vicious, hunting feline.  How nice.  And not every younger guy leaves when the woman gets older.  My mom(57) and step-dad(43) are 12 years apart and have been married 20 years.  My husband and I are 12 years apart and he's more of a man and provider than my ex-husband who was 5 years older than me!   Just saying age is just a number; it doesn't outline how a person will act.

 
April 26, 2008, 12:43 pm CDT

05/02 The Cougar Craze

Dating a younger man has its advantages. I did it myself, many times, when I was in my thirties and 40s. I wasn't looking for "forever" and neither were any of them. But we had lots of fun together--dancing, picnics, movies, in depth conversations about life. I found them stimulating, and they kept me thinking young.

Ultimately I settled down with an older gentleman, but I wouldn't trade any of those dates with younger men. None of us were "using" each other--we were just looking for happy times, and that's what we shared.
 
April 26, 2008, 2:00 pm CDT

Couger Craze

While it really doesn't bother me what two adults want to do with their lives, what does make me scratch my head is the reverse double standard of when men have a relationship with younger women. They get treated like pervs. I'm not talking men who go after 18 yo's and below. I'm talking men 40+ that want to date women 15+ years younger than themselves. Women think it's ok if they do it but let a man do it and they are assulted with a barrage of "dirty old men" style insults and even threats. You can't have it both ways ladies!

 
April 26, 2008, 2:05 pm CDT

TOGETHER 32 YEARS AND STILL IN LOVE

I'm 67, my hubby is 56.  We met while he was in college and I was a separated mom with 4 kids on welfare...but going to college.  I've been a psychotherapist for over 20 years now.  My husband Mario and I lived together for 25 years before we got hitched and married for practical reasons. (He needed health insurance)  We don't celebrate our wedding; we celebrate when we fell in love.  I do a lot of work in my private practice with couples and have found it very helpful  at times to use examples from my relationship with them.  Mario and I still love and like each other a lot.  We've both learned a great deal from one another and been best friends as well as lovers.   We still find each other interesting and make each other laugh.  We're very different kind of personalities but think a lot alike.  Neither of us are religious but we care about morals and ethics.  I only wish more couples learned how to have this kind of relationship. 

 
April 26, 2008, 4:00 pm CDT

maturity matters

I don't think there is anything wrong with 2 mature adults dating, no matter what their age is. I do feel differantly if the man in question is just barely an adult. My son turned 18 last July and is involved with a 35 year old woman who has a son almost his age. I have been fighting the issue for months. She has lived her life and made her mistakes, and he is just starting out in life and shouldn't be thinking about taking on her responsibilities. This might be one episode I will pass on, the topic is just to close to home for me.
 
April 26, 2008, 4:01 pm CDT

05/02 The Cougar Craze

Would someone explain to me what there is a difference in women dating younger men, and men dating younger women. What's all the fuss about? Why does it offend some people to see an older women dating a younger man? I'm not talkin' about myself. I am married to a man the same age as me. I'm just sayin' that I think it's perfectly fine for an older women to date a younger man.
 
April 26, 2008, 4:02 pm CDT

Who's business is it anyway??

 If a woman over 40, 50 or even 60 years old wants to date a younger man, who's business is it besides the woman and man? I am 52 and have dated younger men in the past, one at least 12 years younger. If the people involved are happy and compatible, what difference does it make? I know there are a lot of variables, such as being in it for the "status", or just being needy, but if 2 people are happy and have a  good healthy relationship, what should it matter how old each one is?
 
April 26, 2008, 4:07 pm CDT

05/02 The Cougar Craze

Quote From: ramair

So, Bobbi, once she turned 50, got dumped by her 33-year-old boyfriend of 11 years? Well. that's the breaks when these gals choose much younger men over those closer to their own age. Dr Phil's had these older-woman-younger-man couples on his show in the past. And, warned them about how, in later years, the aging process can can make the older woman far less attractive to the younger man. In Bobbi's case, the age difference between 22 and 39 is less obvious, to her boyfriend, than between 33 and 50. And, 53 and 70. Due to health issues. Bobbi should listen to her son. She's already been deemed too old, and dumped by one long-term,  much younger boyfriend. Does she really want to risk repeating the same type experience with another?
But, people get dumped all the time, it doesn't matter if there's an age difference. That's the breaks for anyone and I don't know that there is a higher rate of dumping when there is an age difference. Years ago, before I got married, I got dumped several times by guys my own age because I wouldn't put out. There's a lot of different reasons for dumping. Sometimes we can't see it at the time, but the people who dump us are really doing us a favor.
 
First Page | Previous Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next | Last