Let me correct this statement for you:
"I have a son who is dating a divorced woman who is 44
and he is 22 and she has 2 daughters one 23 and one 22. I don’t approve of this
and am not involved in their relationship at all, but since I can’t understand
it I am sure she must be using him. Even tho he is an adult, he just cannot
realize this. I think she is pushing to get serious, and he has only known her
for a few months. If I had a daughter, I would be just as controlling as I am
with him and I would have a problem if I had a daughter 22 dating a 44 year old
MAN! I realize women these days are having children later in life, and I also
realize that the decision to have children or not is his but my son could never
have a child with this woman but a girl 22 could have a child with an older
man. It just reminds me of the teachers out there going after young boys for
sex! It’s something I wouldn’t do, therefore it must be wrong! This would not
be tolerated by a man teacher for 5 minutes but the womens movement thinks this
is okay."
You know, I am a 39 year old mother of 2 girls ages 16 and
10. I want nothing more for my children than for them to be happy in life. By
the time your child is 10 years old, you have taught him or her everything that
they will ever learn from you. When your child turns 18, they are an adult,
free to take what they have learned, along with their own individual thoughts
and desires, and set out in the world to live THEIR lives. Living their life
will likely involve making decisions that go against what other people (even, GASP, their mommys!) think
they should do. Whether those people are their friends, their parents or
society, the fact that you have a child that will ignore other people’s wishes
for what makes HIM happy is a great compliment to your parenting. Many parents
out there have problems letting go and allowing their children to live their
lives the way they want. You are one of those parents and I have to tell you
that you are a selfish, controlling and manipulative person. He is an adult; he
obviously sees something wonderful in this woman-something wonderful enough to
tolerate your behavior and the behavior of his “friends” to be with her.
As you might have guessed, I am in favor of older
woman/younger man relationships. I am also in favor of older man/younger woman
relationships. I am in favor of same gender relationships. I am in favor of heck, I guess you could just say I am in favor of relationships where 2
consenting adults have mutual feelings of affection towards each other that
cause them to be HAPPY. In the end, it is their business, not yours. Even if
you feel like you should have some say in your adult child’s life-get over it, you don't.
I have been with my fiancé for a little over a year now. He
is 23. We are getting married in September. Fortunately we have the support of
my family, most of his family sans his father who would get along great with
you, and our friends. I didn’t chase him, he didn’t chase me-we met doing
something we both mutually enjoy and hit it off. I can tell you, I have never
been happier in my life that with this man. When we are together, there is no
age difference, only joy at being with someone that we can truly call a soul
mate.
“Bobbi” obviously
didn’t have that great of a relationship with her significant other if he left
her after 11 years because she was too old. I bet if you looked at their
relationship you would have seen many other problems that would have shown you
the warning signs that I mean who stays together 11 years without further
commitment? That right there should show people there was obviously something
lacking.
Someone leaving his or her significant other can happen in
any relationship-and does on a daily basis. Someone that would leave over how
someone looks is also the same kind of person that would bail when any crises
happens-If his or her s/o got terminally ill or was in an accident, etc. That
doesn’t make ow/ym relationships a failure-it just goes into the statistics of
people with no character or commitment.
I am not certain if what you said about this woman pushing
for commitment is true or if that is just your interpretation. But is she was
20 that would never happen, right? I mean those 20 year old girls never push
for commitment, amirite? Either way, if it is true and your son is still with
her, maybe that’s a thought that doesn’t bother him so much.
In the end, I hope that you and others like you will
consider what I have said. Age is a number. By the way, what age difference IS acceptable? 3 years? 4? What if it's 3 and he meets someone wonderful 5 years older? Get real. Relationships are unique. What
makes one person happy, would not necessarily make another happy, but in the
end, unless its YOUR relationship, it really shouldn’t be any of your concern. I
hope you wisen up before you lose your son from your life. Take joy in the fact that at least for now, he is with someone that makes him happy.
.
(Original Air Date 05/02/08) Demi Moore did it. So did Madonna and Halle Berry. This trend of older women dating younger men is called the Cougar Craze, and it’s sweeping the country. Recently, at a New York speed-dating event, Sugar Mamas and Boy Toys, good-looking 35-year-old men wooed women over 35 who made at least $500,000 a year. Jeremy organized the event and says he was just answering a demand from affluent ladies. Was he sincere in his matchmaking or just out to make a buck? Dr. Phil talks to two women who participated in the event -- Gail, 44, and Nancy, 50. Their experiences might surprise you. Then, 51-year-old Kat says she’s no cougar; she just likes to date younger guys because men her age are set in their ways. She says her 23-year-old ex-boyfriend, Ryon, was loving, passionate and had a much higher libido than older men. Her friend, Nancy, says Kat has a great head for business, but a bad one when it comes to the opposite sex. She says young men just see dollar signs when they see Kat. Is Kat dating down, or should Nancy just butt out? And, Bobbi had an 11-year relationship with a man who was 17 years her junior, but she says once she turned 50, he saw her as too old. She wants to be in a relationship again, but not with an older man. Her son, Nathan, says someone still wet behind the ears can’t appreciate all Bobbi has to offer. Does Nathan have the right to put his foot down with his mother? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
