Topic : 05/20 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp

So many negative comments have been made concerning Wendy's parenting style and decisions, but when I go to last Thursday's message board on Cults - Anna- a mother of 11 children (4 children trapped in the Tony Alamo cult with their father,  and 7 currently in the Children's Services system)...well, all the messages are supportive and nice.  The video of Anna actually shows her hitting her children in the face and calling them horrible names.  The Children Services report stated that the children were being abused, being left without proper supervision and dope was found in the mothers car.  And, viewers are still like, "Were praying for you Anna.  We hope you get your children back Anna.  We know you didn't mean it, you must be ill Anna."  I guess I'm just really shocked.  I really think Wendy's getting a raw deal here, and it's not cool.   

Us people never said she shouldnt wear a necklace.

 It goes much deeper than the necklace. She has gone beyond healthy grieving It has become an obssesion.

There's so much going on in these families I don't know where to start.  Dr. Phil please don't give up on them, in simple words tell them what to do and not do.  The question, "what do we do?" was sincere, and yes they all had missed what you said because they're so deep in the mire they can't hear/understand the first time.

Betcha they are all repeating life styles, we do parent the way we were parented unless we have been educated on different/better methods. 

After yrs of dysfunction these families can't be fixed in a few days, it's hard to break old habits.

Whew, thank you God that my child was gentle to discipline.

I am so surprised at these parents on this show. Frankly, I get angry when I see children disrespect their parents, but I really get angry when I see parents allowing their children to disrespect them. 

As a child, I was raised to honor your mother and father and to respect your elders.  When I didn't follow those rules (which for me wasn't really hard to follow), I got my butt "tapped" on.  Not because my parents were mean people who spanked me for any and everything, but becasue they loved me and wanted me to learn discipline at an early age.  My parents taught me about morals and standards that shaped me into the strong woman I am today.  Love means disipline!  These parents posess none of the qualities that I have explained in this message.  I guess I was the lucky ones. I plan to instill the same standards with my own kids one day.  But for now, word to the wise: if you have children or are planning to have children, we need to love our children 1st, praise them for the rights and discipline them for their wrongs. And when all else fails, belts are still being made today. They come in small, Medium or LARGE!

I was raised and disciplined exactly as you were but I don't think parents nowadays believe in it. I sure do!!!!!!!!!  What I don't agree on is using a belt. My parents never used one, they threatened of course, but because we knew the boundaries they NEVER had to enforce it. My mother would spank us lightly on the butt and all my father had to do was speak in a certain tone and we knew he meant business and behaved immediately. It all boils down to respect. Wendy, Noah's mother, actually lowers herself to her son's level. That is the perfect way to create a monster and doesn't say much for her parenting skills. Have you noticed how few parents now have any control over their children? And one more point, it's so easy for children to call 911 or CPS on their parents, and the kids are smart enough to know this, that parents are becoming to afraid to punish their children. The laws were put in place to finally put a stop to true child abuse but unfortunately it's being used as a weapon by the unabused children instead. That law needs some work before a lot of this will ever be able to change.

From a former spanked & seen and not heard child and MENTALLY healthy woman,

jewels 

I consider myself an expert in the grieving process unfortunately because I have had to go through it so much in my life. I have a few very important points to make here about it that everyone who has never lost a loved one or especially a child could ever understand. First and foremost, everybody grieves differently. I know that when I lost my father at 18 , very unexpectedly, I thought the world would come to an end. But what happened was I had to buck it up and help my mother through it because she was on the verge of a breakdown. First my mother lost her mother, six months later she lost her brother and then 6 months after that she lost her husband. All of this in just one year!  Since all of my siblings lived away from home and my little sister was only 10 I had to be strong for my mother. That is way too much for anybody to deal with. She had already lost her father when I was 1 year old. I lost my life long best friend when I was 16, it was her prom night. I grieved differently for each one. My husband lost his 20 year old son 3 years after we had been married. I loved him so deeply, he had the biggest and best heart next to my husband. I cried almost all of the time but had to handle the business at hand, Insurance co., music for services, finances, comforting his daughter, etc. , his mother (my husbands ex) lost it completely. My husband handled it completely different. He only cried in front of anyone, including me, the first day. He went back to work the very next day. This may sound cold but it isn't, it was the only way he new how to grieve without losing his mind completely. He didn't even talk about him for about 5 years, it was too hard for him. We still don't talk about the accident after almost 18 years, but we do talk about his son now. To this day my husband has never been to the cemetery since the day of the funeral. I know exactly why, if he ever see's his son's marker and where he is buried he believes that he will start crying and never be able to stop. This is the only way he can cope. He has never come out and told me this but since I know him so well I understand it completely. I can always tell what he's thinking. I know he cries when he is alone but never in front of anyone, including me, I don't mind, it's his way of grieving. You can never blame someone for how they act because you don't always know what is going on inside of that person. The main reason as to why I bring this up is because of what Wendy, (Noah's mother) has said. She has said repeatedly that Noah acted like nothing ever happened. Maybe he doesn't know how to cope especially being so young. Maybe this is  the only way he know's to handle it. I just know that she needs to stop saying that! She doesn't know what  is going through his head about his sisters death. And after this amount of time she needs to learn to handle it and get on with raising the other child who is still alive. One thing my husband said when he lost his son was that he needed to be strong for his other 2 children. That is so true with any parent no matter how hard it is. I agree that Noah is a disrespectful brat but the way his mother has raised him I can see why. They both need serious help.