Topic : 05/20 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp

Us people never said she shouldnt wear a necklace.

 It goes much deeper than the necklace. She has gone beyond healthy grieving It has become an obssesion.

I was brought up in the Catholic religion, going to Bible School and church every Sunday and

Wednesday. I even attended Parochial schools until Jr. High. I don't believe for one second that

schools and their faculty should be able to physically discipline students - no matter what the

situation is! The Nuns that taught us thought nothing of it to humiliate you in front of your peers by hitting you with a ruler, paddle or yard stick. I wonder today how many boys I went to school with that developed

hearing loss from being yanked out of their seats by their ears. I can remember as clear as day the

humiliation and embarrassment I went through. Finally, when it came to go to Jr. High, my parents

let me decide where I wanted to go to school. I knew the bullies I may encounter in a public school couldn't be worse than the treatment I received in private schools...and I was right. Unfortuanately

enough, I also grew up in an alcoholic enviroment where every weekend was a nightmare. Both of my

parents drank. But my mom was a mean and viscious person when she drank. She was also very

short tempered and would think nothing of it to whip, beat, hit, or slap my brother and I when she felt we needed to be disciplined. She would go so far as to make us cut our own whipping switch from a willow tree in our yard. She would whip us to the point that when it was all said and done, my brother and I would apply salve to each others back side because we were unable to sit. As we grew older, at some point my brother and I took a stand for ourselves and put the fear into her that she put into us. Sad be it to say, to this day my mother is still afraid of me. I vowed to never treat my children the way I was treated or to put them through the things I witnessed and went through. I can count on half of a hand how many times my 3 boys received a spanking from me. Physical discipline has no good benefits to it, and should be illegal

everywhere!

At this point is doesn't matter that Noah is on national tv, his classmates I'm sure are perfectly aware of his issues. Did you not hear that he has been written up in school 5 times already and that he hit the principal? I do not think they are as clueless as you think. As a matter of fact they also talked about how Noah blames everyone else for his problems, he's aways right and everyone else is always wrong, not just his mother. Don't throw Dr. Phil under the bus over this, I don't believe he's doing this for ratings, he's actually trying to help these people. They just never understand what he has to say. And yes, some of these kids are in fact brats! Ethan anyone? I do think Wendy has some parenting issues and I think I've made it pretty clear in my posts about it, we lost a child also but you can't stop living and you have to be there and be strong for your other children who are still with you. And one more thing about Wendy on the airplane, why did she reuse to turn her music down when Noah asked? She is very childish and brattish herself. She lowers herself to a child's behavior. I'm not throwing her under the bus either but she needs to earn her son's respect. Normally I would NEVER say this because I feel that children need to respect their parents, but when she lowers herself she loses respect. Dr. Phil always provides counseling (for free) and I'm sure he will offer it to these family's as well. It's up to them to take it and learn from it.

What I found upsetting about Wendy on Monday's show (5/26/08) was the fact that when she was confronted by her bad behavior (i.e. not turning down her player on the airplane so she did not have to deal one-on-one with Noah, but rather turning it up) she got upset and backpetalled claiming Noah made her do it. And she conveniently forgets things she is guilty of doing when shee is caught in a lie about it. That happened when Dr Phil asked her about something between her and Noah. Noah only wants to be loved and respected for who he is, not who his mother is trying to make him out to be. When she confronted Noah at the end of the show she reverted back to her old self and placed all the blame for what has happened squarely on Noah, totally refusing to acknowledge her part in any of it. In many ways Noah has to be the adult at age 10 that his mother is refusing to be. And as a 10 year old he does not have the coping skills to do that. Until she totally claims her ownership in the problems between her and Noah there will be no resolution in that household. As for Noah acting out in school, that is the only way he knows to get the attention of those around him that he cares for. He wants someone to take the time to get to know the real Noah and reassure him that he is loved and lovable. Noah was practically a sponge soaking up the love and attention from the mother he talked to after his blowup with his own mother. Her 15-year-old daughter even saw a side of her own mother she had not fully realized was there.

Every one in that house, parents and children alike, need some serious counseling. And the parents need to really start behaving like real parents, with real rules and real consequences for bad choices as well as rewards for good choices. Sure it's hard work, but it is so worth it in the long run. Losing a child to death is a bad thing and a hard thing to get through. But even if the child had lived, they move on to their own lives. Where would the parents be if the children decided to move out on their own and never call home to check in. You survived before the children came, and you learn to survive without them when they are gone--either because they moved to the next town or state, or because they died. Life does go on. And you don't take it out on those left behind. You celebrate their lives, not their deaths. And yes, before you ask, I have been there and done that. I lost 6 children, but I did not forget the one that survived--ever.