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Topic : 05/29 The Sex Talk

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Created on : Friday, May 23, 2008, 07:50:23 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil delves into a topic so terrifying, so uncomfortable and daunting that some parents absolutely refuse to do it … It’s the sex talk! With the help of Dr. John Chirban and his book, What’s Love Got to Do with It: Talking with Your Kids about Sex, Dr. Phil takes on some petrified parents who are long overdue for this discussion. Jackie is a mother of two daughters, 11 and 13. She’s so terrified to have the talk, she’s never even brought up the topic! Just the thought of the S word sends Jackie into a tailspin. Dr. Chirban coaches Jackie through what she calls the most difficult conversation in her life. How do Jackie’s daughters think she did? Then, Pam is a mother who thought she had everything right when it came to talking to her 14-year-old daughter, Ashley, about sex. So why does she now think her daughter might be pregnant? Pam and Ashley visited the doctor and are ready to hear the results of the pregnancy test. Plus, meet a mother and father who are terrified that their 10-year-old son will be scarred for life from what he recently saw on the Internet. Then, Dr. Chirban sits down with a group of kids to find out what they know about sex, while the parents secretly watch. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.



How do you talk to your teens about sex? Share your story.

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May 29, 2008, 4:00 pm CDT

05/29 The Sex Talk

Quote From: spanky0811

I think that homosexual sex should be included in the sex talk with children because, believe it or not, heterosexuals have homosexual children.  something to consider.

 

peace all

 

I totally agree! To avoid this subject is being unrealistic, and only giving kids half the information.

 

Information is ALWAYS power, and ignorance is NOT bliss!

 
May 29, 2008, 4:00 pm CDT

WAKE UP Parents!

First of all, I would like to THANK YOU for doing this show topic today.  That book you showcased is exactly what my husband and I are trying to communicate to parents and teens in our community.  Especially in our church.  Telling kids "Don't do it, it's bad" and ending it there really does our kids a dis-service.  Parents need to not rely on school or youth pastors to talk to thier kids about sex, it does need to be an ongoing dialogue, and we need to talk about how AWESOME God created it to be.  Just looking at the biology of sex and how humans are created differently than every other mammal on earth shows that sex is cool.  The fact we have sex face to face, that females have a clitoris, that oxytocin is released emotionally connecting the girl to that man forever, there is so much that screams sex is special and should be treated that way. Now I personally add that due to these biological reasons it makes the most sense then to obey God and wait until marriage, because that is when I believe sex is the best!  Anyway, I could go on for hours because this topic is my passion!

I only had one dissapointment with today's show............

     I wish that when Dr. Masterson had that 14 yr old girl in her Dr.'s office she would have also tested her for STD's.  It is great that she was not pregnant, but what if those older guys she slept with gave her an STD that could lead to cancer or infertility?  Working at a Pregnancy resource center, girls always breath a sign of relief when the test is negative, but these girls are not out of the woods yet. Anyone sexually active these days needs to be checked frequently because unless you are wearing a full latex body suit, there is no way to prevent contracting an STD.

  Thanks for listening!

 
May 29, 2008, 4:00 pm CDT

05/29 The Sex Talk

Quote From: finngal

Dr. Phil left out the boys' responsibility in pregnancy !!!

He emphasized to the teen girl how her life would change forever and totally ignored the other half of the pregnancy,,,,,,the sperm donor !!!!  Isn't it about time to discuss the boy's responsibility in this mess??

Isn't it time to put the emphasis on boys taking responsibility for freely spreading their sperm??

I have yet to hear Dr. Phil speak to boys about keeping their zippers closed.

If a boy gets a girl pregnant he has to have the same responsibility as the girl.

What happens to the girl has to happen to the boy also.

WAKE UP Dr. Phil and stop talking from the old boys club.....shame on you.

I am all for holding boys equally accountable, but the reality is what happens to the girl WON'T happen to the boy also. It is the GIRL who will get pregnant. Dr. Phil was speaking to a GIRL, so he needed to address her reality. If he was speaking to a sexually active boy, the conversation would probably be equally stern, but still different.
 
May 29, 2008, 4:05 pm CDT

05/29 The Sex Talk

Quote From: aellis127

The parents who had the 10 yr old that searched on the internet for naked people, then they talked to him for 3-4 hrs., and Dr. Phil said it probably wasn't a good idea. WHAT? I think with todays kids it is absolutely essential that these younger kids know that this is NOT o.k. for kids their age. I have a 10 yr. old cousin that lives with our grandparents, so I often monitor what he does on the computer, and brought it to my grandparents attention, when i saw in the address bar, playboy.com. They talked to him for about 5 mins. and said if he did it again, he would not be allowed on the computer again. ONE WEEK LATER, he was doing it again, this time going under Youtube. My grandparents once again told him that he cannot be doing this, that they can go to jail, so once again said don't do it again or he can no longer get on the computer. My grandmother then asked me to put the block on, and had a password installed. About 2 weeks later she said to take it off, and guess what my cousin did? Yep, this time he thought he was being smart by putting it in the search engine and clicking on the sites through there because they don't show up on the address bar. But guess what guys? It esculated to him watching the Hard Porn, more than 20 sites for 2 weeks straight. Don't think the parents should have a long talk now Dr. Phil? If these kids don't get talked to and told that this is not right the parents will end up going to jail, so I think a long talk was good since it took 4 times for my cousin to get it, even then he still didn't, because he left his email open one day, and I read one of them to his supposed girlfriend, and he told her to wear some pretty panties. Also when asked why he kept doing this after being told that granny and papaw could go to jail, his reply was he couldn't help it, he was addicted to it. THINK ABOUT THAT DR.PHIL...........................................
Would Dr Phil prefer that Colton's parents do as your grandparents did? Theaten to revoke his computer privileges if he does it again? And, keep repeating  this threat, yet never carrying it out? My problem with Colton's parents wasn't the length of their talk after he went to those porn sites. But, that they left a ten-year-old child alone and unattended for over three hours. In most states, it's against the law to leave a child under 12 unattended. And, why was he  allowed access to an unfiltered computer? Even some innocent-sounding key-words can generate a list of porn sites. Unless the computer is filtered.
 
May 29, 2008, 4:06 pm CDT

Sex Talk

My mom never had the sex talk with me. She didn't even tell me what was happening to me when I started having periods and going through puberty. I ended up pregnant at 19. Primarily because I was terrified of it. I never want my daughters to go through all those things that I delt with during those teenage years. When kids found out I new nothing about sex. They teased me and humiliated me in front of all the other kids. I have already started talking to my older daughter about sex and reminding her of her self worth.  I feel that my daughters belief in their self worth along with me teaching them about sex will be what they need to help them make those hard decisions when they are faced with them from their piers about having sex and knowing the consequences of their actions. Ignoring the sex talk is wrong and it will not protect our children. They will get it from their piers and I will say it will be a bad education that they will get. I disagree with parents letting teachers in the education world teach their children because they are getting from them condoms and use protection. I hope that every parent out there will build strong moral values in their children along with having a constant talk with them about sex. Giving them the knowledge and then praying for their success in making good choices is all we can do to help them and guide them without the do's and don'ts out their it won't work.

 

 
May 29, 2008, 4:07 pm CDT

WOW

   Well this show sure hit me at a most critical time.  I didn't know it was going to be on and when the preview came up about the 14 year old my mouth dropped open.  Just last night my daughter told me something was wrong.  Not only did she lose her virginity but did go to family planning for birth control.  Yes my daughter was home when Dr. Phil came on and we were home alone to watch and talk about it.  She is 15 and I talked to her all the time about sex.  And being very involved in church I thought she really understood how important it was to wait for marriage.  Well I was very wrong and blinded.  I went to bed crying thinking I did something wrong as a parent.  I finally went to sleep and woke up thinking that no I didn't do anything wrong.  She did make some responsible choices to protect herself and most of all she finally talked to me.  I always did have a open relationship with her.  No I am not happy this happen and I still can't find my feelings on family planning especially with minor children.  But it hasn't even been 24 hrs since I have been hit with this.  And to top it off she has been seriously depress.  I have a Dr. appt. after the weekend for her and I took a ML from work to work this out and be there for her.  No she is not suicidal but not she says she is not  feeling right.  There is alot of emotions going on, all because of her doing a adult decision with a teenage mind.  I am not mad at her and she knows we can talk, I will always be here for her and will always love her no matter what.   I told her everyone falls down.  But you get back up and you keep going.  One big advise for everyone.  Don't ever think your child won't do it no matter how much you talk and prepare, it can happen.
 
May 29, 2008, 4:08 pm CDT

05/29 The Sex Talk

Quote From: lynlovel

 i so agree with your post. and if a parent sees their kids "acting weird" when they are affectionate, etc. they need to start talking to them about what's going on and why it bothers the kids. i don't mean that they have to sit down and give the whole "birds and bees" explanation. but they can say somethign like,"this is how moms and dads show love for each other, etc."

however, perhaps they are showing the kids more they they can handle at their age? if they kids are just like,"eww, too mushy," they may need to learn that a litle" mushiness"is ok when peop[le really love and respect each other.but if they are really uncomfrotable,perhaps mom and dad need to keep some of their affection more private.
Yepper, if it's that "get a room" type " affection, it should be done in private.
 
May 29, 2008, 4:12 pm CDT

I see your point...and agree....but...

Quote From: finngal

Dr. Phil left out the boys' responsibility in pregnancy !!!

He emphasized to the teen girl how her life would change forever and totally ignored the other half of the pregnancy,,,,,,the sperm donor !!!!  Isn't it about time to discuss the boy's responsibility in this mess??

Isn't it time to put the emphasis on boys taking responsibility for freely spreading their sperm??

I have yet to hear Dr. Phil speak to boys about keeping their zippers closed.

If a boy gets a girl pregnant he has to have the same responsibility as the girl.

What happens to the girl has to happen to the boy also.

WAKE UP Dr. Phil and stop talking from the old boys club.....shame on you.

It's the GIRL who will have to deal with the pregnancy because, the unfortunate reality is that the boy will most likely go on his way, busily impregnating other stupid girls who are uninformed, misinformed, or just don't care until it's too late.  It's the GIRL who will carry and bear the child; the GIRL whose life will be forever altered; and the GIRL whose parents will most likely be financially responsible for that child, as too often, the GIRL (and most likely the boy as well) is too young to support that child. 

 

I raised three kids, a boy and two girls, and taught EACH of them sexual responsibility from the time they were old enough to understand....but, too many parents do not, because they are embarrassed or they think if they talk about it the kids will automatically go out and do it.....and too many parents have the "boys will be boys" attitude.

 

So, although I agree, and see your point, the sad truth is what it is.

 
May 29, 2008, 4:21 pm CDT

05/29 The Sex Talk

Quote From: cndrlla

Well, my mother never told me ANYthing about sex when I was growning up.....and guess what I was called just two months after my 16th birthday...... "MOMMY"!

 

When you deny your children information because YOU are embarrassed...or because YOU have your head in the sand, you leave them vulnerable to all the misinformation that their peers are filling their head with, and you leave your daughters at the mercy of the first predatory male that comes along telling them what they should do with all these raging hormonal feelings they are having.....and guess what that is!

 

You are also leaving your sons vulnerable to acting on those hormones rather than using the information YOU should be giving them so they can learn some self-control and some respect for themselves AND the girls with whom they come into contact. There's a great article called "Birds, Bees & Teens" on www.nononsensegrammytree.blogspot.com that I hope you will go to and will have your kids read, as well. Maybe it can be of some help in opening up a dialog.

 

 

 
May 29, 2008, 4:25 pm CDT

reply

Quote From: ramair

Would Dr Phil prefer that Colton's parents do as your grandparents did? Theaten to revoke his computer privileges if he does it again? And, keep repeating  this threat, yet never carrying it out? My problem with Colton's parents wasn't the length of their talk after he went to those porn sites. But, that they left a ten-year-old child alone and unattended for over three hours. In most states, it's against the law to leave a child under 12 unattended. And, why was he  allowed access to an unfiltered computer? Even some innocent-sounding key-words can generate a list of porn sites. Unless the computer is filtered.

No, I didn't say and I should have, but I disagreed with my grandparents not following through, but alot of grandparents are like that. My main point was they "talked to him behind closed doors privately for no longer than 10 mins, so this is why he wasn't understanding. I think they needed to sit with him for at least 30-1 hr, and explain things more efficiently so that it didn't esculate to him continously disobeying and getting into deeper, and more explicit material............

Kids need to be talked to, and yes I agree the other subject should have been brought up that this child was left home alone. That is something else that bothered me as well, but when Dr.Phil said the parents shouldn't talk to them that long, I just wanted to post my experience with my 10 yr. old cousin, being talked to non chalantley about it, and made him addicted to it, wanting more, and ignoring the fact that he was told that this was against the law and the adults could go to jail for him doing this........

 
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