Topic : 07/11 Abducted from School

The comments about the mentally ill man not being able to drive proves how uninformed the general public is about mental illness.  Someone who is actively psychotic does not lose their license in any state but we take away their freedom when they act upon their dillusional thoughts!  If you listened to what his parents said without an uneducated, judgemental preconceived notion of mental illness you would have heard them say they begged those in charge not to release him to public from a jail which he was recently in and instead put him in a mental hospital where he belongs but were unsuccessful in obtaining those services for him.  Now those with power will definitely put him somewhere...jail! Sadly, he will also continue to be psychotic there and eventually released again without having received the help he needed in jail or upon release.  No one can force a mentally ill person to get the help and medication they need unless they meet the criteria of being a danger to themselves or to others. And if you understand the disease you would know that the psychotic thoughts beliefs, hallucinations or paranoia they are experiencing make it impossible for the patient themselves to recognize how ill they are.  Educate yourself before you judge and blame.  Those parents didn't say he wasn't responsible in fact they repeatedly, tearfully, apologized.  All they wanted to do is apologize and get help for their son.  I was grateful that they were willing to stand up and talk about what millions of families live with every day......powerlessness to get help for your adult family members who are mentally ill.  In this sad story there were two victims.

I apreciated the topic of this show.  I think it is an important Topic for all of our schools and as I was reading the posts I was shocked at some of the reactions that you teachers have to deal with in protecting our children and I want to personally Thank You for checking the Id's ! I have a special needs child and had a frightening experience with my son during the last school year. My sons therapist allowed him to walk back to his classroom which her pt office is ina out building not connected to the school itself so she had him and another little girl who was also in lifeskills walk back together. Unfortunatly they didnt get back to the school  they made it out of the school down the road where another parent was coming to pick up their child and stopped and brought them back into the school . I didnt even find out about the incident until after school i came to pick up my son and I had another session with the same therapist and she said oh by the way their was a incident with your son today etc....I was pretty upset about this. I went straight to the principal for a lengthy discussion and I did get a sincere apology that it wouldnt happen again but. As a parent you expect your kids to be watched by the teachers, just to think about what could have happened.My son would go with any stranger who wanted to pick him up he's not capable of making that decision . So its important to keep the children during the school day safe and at school as well not just at the end of the school day. You teachers who are doing a wonderful job keeping our kids safe I applaud you & thanks for the dedication you have to our children.

 

Summer

Once again Dr Phil missed an opportunity to shed some educational, informational light on mental illness and instead allowed the man to be only seen as the guy who took the little girl from her school.  No one would deny that this event is awful and what the girl and her family have gone through no one should have to deal with.  Thank goodness the police found her!  One day I would love to finally see a realistic view of mental illness portrayed on his show. 

 

Someone who is actively psychotic and not on medication might  be experiencing racing disorganized thoughts or hearing command hallucinations, believe things which are are not true, all sorts of symptoms that most people do not understand.  Mental illness is a disease not a choice.  The stigma associated with mental illness is only further perpetuated when a show simply glosses over the mans illness and perpetuates the believe that his illness is not an excuse.  It isn't an excuse but does the public truly understand that as the family of a psychotic mentally ill person who is an adult there is really nothing you can do????  The law states that unless that person is actiing in ways that are putting himself or others in danger they cannot force him to be brought to a psychiatric ER or hospital for treatment. In addition, if the patient is for example paranoid and dellusional by the very nature of the definition of those two words they are NOT going to be able to realize they are ill and seek help on their own.  Schizophrenia, which was mentioned, is a disease that effects your thoughts.  Having these dellusional or paranoid thoughts when you are symptomatic is not a choice!  Realizing you need to take your medication will require insight that is just not possible when you are symptomatic.This mans story was an opportunity to educate the public on mental illness such as bi-polar and schizophrenia and I am so frustrated that Dr. Phil didn't do that.  The police officers stated that as soon as they received the call from the school they immediately thought of this gentlemen as possibly being the one who took her.  They eluded to the fact that they had contact with him earlier in the day.  Why???  No one asked that question on the show.  I'm going to guess that he probably was behaving in a bizarre manner and someone called the police on him. What usually ends up happening is that unless he presents as a danger to himself or others they cannot, by law, bring him against his will to a psychiatric hospital for an evaluation.  So... they realize he is not okay but are prevented by law to do anything about it.  Next, he takes the little girl and now he is a danger to others so they can act on it.  But now because of what he has done he goes to jail instead of a psychiatric hospital. This little girl went through a terrible ordeal and her family suffered because the laws limit a families ability to get their loved one the help they need and that is just wrong.  Something needs to change!!!

 

His parents spoke of his recent release from jail and how they begged the prison to put him in a mental hospital which they were obviously unsuccessful at convincing them he needed.  Now, they will have to visit him in jail where he will still not receive the help he truly needs for his mental illness and when he is released eventually will probably still not receive the treatment he needs and be at risk of reoffending in some other way.  I say all this from a place of experience.  I have a family member who lived a good, successful life until his behavior changed drastically and he was finally diagnosed as having schizophrenia.  He has been arrested due to his behavior and during his court hearings we begged that he be evaluated (this was prior to diagnosis) and the judge ignored our request.  I had numerous conversations with his lawyer who has known him for years and he did nothing to help get him the treatment he needed.  This same lawyer admitted my family member is unrecognizable by his appearance and his thoughts when he has a conversation from the person he had known just a few years prior.  He actually admitted that when he saw him in the holding cell of the courthouse he thought he was a different person who just happen to have the same name.  He said he would see what he could do but in the end he just took his money and allowed him to plead guilty to a lesser charge.  My family member was financially well off and is now homeless due to his illness and addictions.  Because he has addiction issues, when we as a family applied for mandated treatment through Kendra's Law (NY State) they denied the application and we were told because he is dually diagnosed they didn't feel he was a good candidate for the program.  I've learned that people tend to have even less sympathy for those who begin to self-medicate because of their symptoms.  Commonly occurs but once it does all anyone wants to do is focus on the addiction and gloss over the mental illness. 

 

I would LOVE to one day see a show that realistically portrays the life of a person suffering from mental illness and the powerlessness of their family, no matter how educated and willing they are to help.  I would love for Dr. Phil to explain that at the root of these issues are the lack of funding available and the changes since deinstitutionalization many years ago.  Until that time, people like this gentlemen would have been living in a mental institution because his parents readily recognize that is what is in his best interest.  As a society I believe we have gone from one extreme (perhaps putting too many people in institutions without focusing on rehabilitating them and teaching them to learn to live with their illness) to another (leaving everyone "free"  and families unable to get their loved ones help until they eventually end up in jail).  Changes have happened but not enough.  What is the most devestating is the stigma which only perpetuates that we don't want to know or see these people until something terrible happens. Then when it does we say "that's no excuse the family should have got him help"   I would also love to see shows portray those who are living a productive life inspite of their diagnosis which will help other families. Please Dr. Phil, help educate society about mental illness with compassion and reduce the stigma which only perpetuates incorrect beliefs society seems to want to embrace about illnesses such as schizohrenia.   

I think the school needs to stop catering to the parents . If you pick up your child you should be there 30 min. before doing all of the sign outs and see your child walking out of school at the end of the day. The end of the day there are 300 + children wanting to go home, and you as the parent should be the person they see when they walk out those doors, and not waiting for someone to show up late, there should be no drive ups where teacher have to check cars and and who is driving them, Those teacher should not be making your job easier, you should be doing what is best for your child safty, park it walk up and sign your child out or let them take a bus home. I wonder how much safer it would be if all children who did not walk home had to take the bus home??? if they are young and no one was there to pick them up  the child would be brought back to school, if the parents make a habit out of not being there they should be finded.

I bet then they would take their responsiblity of their own children when the monies start to come out of their own pockets.

I agree with you & our county requires Emergency Cards for EVERY child in our school system with parent info & who is allowed to pick up a child.  If someone comes to get a kid before school lets out (early dismissal), they are to report to the office, the emergency card is checked, they have to sign out the child & if all is well, the child is allowed to leave.  If it is dismissal time & someone unknown is there for the child, we take the child & the adult to the office for the emergency card to be checked.  We will call the parent on the phone if someone comes for a child & they are not listed on the emerg card.  And YES, that did happen this past year!  Again, come on parents! 

However, as another person wrote on here, dismissal time means HUNDREDS OF KIDS LEAVING AT ONE TIME.  Every teacher is NOT out at the parent pick up loop checking every kid, especially the upper grades.  As a kdg teacher, I ALWAYS CHECK to see who my kids are leaving with!!!!

Actually, the parents coming in to the school at the end of the day is a hinderance.  It's like a feeding frenzy or a huge sale when only one really, hot item is left.  They SWARM...I swear to God those parents SWARM.  They start just grabbing kids and the people on staff don't have enough eyes to see who each child is going with. That would make it so easy for just anyone to blend in and grab a child in that chaos. I can't just release a child to anyone that walks up or walks in, unless I know them, the ID's still have to be checked.  I've done this for over 15 years.  We have tried so many different way, but we have very spoiled, demanding parents.

Its a mad house, lol.   I 'm sure there could be a better way, line them up(parents) on the wall in the gym. the best I think would be no pickups after school, bus riders and walkers. the hole pick up thing is for convenients for the parents which in return is is a burnden to the schools. when I was a kid if a child was taken after school, the parents where the ones looked to, unless it was durning the mid -day and at that time the school is 100% responsible for that child.

 

Put a end to those spoiled and demanding parents, make them responsible for their children once again.

I'm thankful to are teachers, but some parents lay to much upon them and the school system.

They feed ,cloth and care for some of these students better then there familys do. Each year they are asked to more and more, STOP the madness, do your jobs and stop delegating your responsibilitys back on the teachers.

Dr. Phil my heart goes out to the family that were on your show, and thankfully nothing more serious happened to them.  What I want to say is that in my children school you can not pick the child up if you are not on the pick up list.  Even if you have a note you must show ID, they make a copy, call the parent or names on the contact form to verify that it is ok. When thechid gets to the office they than make sure the child knows the person. I love this.  We have moved to a new town and my children know if its not someone who would normally get them to tell the school to call there mom, grandmother or uncle first because they are NOT to leave until they have heard it is ok directly from one of the 3, and you should always have 3 contacts that can be reached within 10 minutes, whats 10 minutes if it means your child's safety.

So if this system is ever needed to be put into play, I feel confident.

New friends of our new town like this idea and their children or 1st-4th which I think is a vulnerable time.

You have a fire drill with your child, why not a school safety drill and even quiz.

The person picking up a child for the last 3 months may not be the person that has custody tomm. and by not checking that list with the child every time you put a child in that car you are breaking school policy.

 

Any parent screaming about how inconvenient it is has forgotten that this was set up for them and their child.

Here again, we can't really do anything about custody issues unless the parents let us know about them.  It also has to be a court document if it is parents or legal guardians.  Mom can't just decide she doesn't want Dad to be able to pick up a child.  We have a mom that changes her mind just about every other day about whether or not she wants dad to be able to pick the kid up.  She has been told by  the superintendent (and even her lawyer) that as long as Dad is a legal guardian he has the right to pick up that child.  She will have to go to court and get a court order for him not to be able to pick up the child. Then she has to make sure the school has a notorized copy of that order.

I am informed when custody issues have changed.  The parents are told frequently, that if there are any changes in who is allowed/not allowed to pick up their child, they have to inform the school.  I check in with the front office every day to see if there are any updates on my regular car riders.  And, how do you know what my school's policy is?  They are not ALL the same.  I am much more cautious than my school policy requires me to be.  I've had aunts and grandmas show up that aren't on the kids' emergency cards, people that I've known for years, and still made them go in and be checked.  I've had parent's send me notes saying that "so and so" will be picking up my chid today, but if they aren't on the emergency card, they don't go with them without a call to verify and having their ID's scanned.  But, do I check the emergency card on 75+ car riders (ever revolving) every day? No, I don't.