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Topic : 12/22 Parents Falsely Accused

Number of Replies: 476
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Created on : Friday, September 12, 2008, 01:20:40 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/18/08) Could you be guilty of abusing your child and not know it? Where are the boundaries when it comes to parenting? Treffly is a mom of three who never thought she would be accused of breaking the law. But that's exactly what happened when she left her daughter in the car to do an errand just 30 feet away. Treffly's case sparked a flurry of opinions and heated debates across the country. People in the community and a criminal defense attorney weigh in. And find out what Dr. Phil thinks about Treffly's encounter with the law. Then, Lynn says her biggest regret is leaving her daughter alone the night the 13-year-old died. Find out how a false allegation landed her behind bars. Her conviction was overturned, and Lynn became the first woman in U.S. history to be cleared by DNA evidence. Hear how the truth came to light and what life has been like since she was released from prison. And, hear about Lynn's son, Ed's, experience growing up in foster care as a result of his mother's incarceration. What can mother and son do to rebuild their bond? Find out what you can do to improve the lives of children in the foster care system. Plus, don't miss the steps you need to take if you're wrongly accused of a crime. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 13, 2008, 1:02 pm CDT

Learn from your mistakes!

I feel like she was wrong in leaving her child in the car by her self.  However, she has probably learned her lesson with all that has gone down.  Also, education is key here. Some people just do not get "it" and need to be educated.

 

Thanks for listening,

Nancy in Millsboro

 
September 13, 2008, 1:02 pm CDT

leaving kids in cars

we recently saw on the news that a school teacher left her child in the car and it died. the baby sat in the car seat for 9 hours. then last year a vice principle of a well to do school left her child in the car. she even went outside to move her car closer to the school so she could get the doughnuts from the back of her suv. then she got back in and moved her car again. i hate to say this. both women were not charged. i am sorry but i raised five children and i never left them in the car for anything. i was always afraid that they would knock it out of gear or anything. i don't see how anyone can forget thier kid. i don't care how busy you are. if you can remember the doughnuts you can remember the kid. anyone else had done this they would have been prosecuted ..hung out to dry..i am sorry that thier children died. but, i cant see how they could forget.
 
September 13, 2008, 1:24 pm CDT

09/18 Parents Falsely Accused?

I babysit 3 grandchildren the oldest is 4 ,and there is no way I can walk into a store to pick up a pizza etc. with the 3 of them.  I have parked right in front of the window and walked in.  I lock the doors, the children are in their car seats and the windows only cracked.  I know something can happen in a second, but how can you always have all children at your side when you go pay for gas etc.  to be away for 1 minute.  I am very conscious of every second I am away from their side and they never leave my line of vision or if someone is too close to the car, I run back to it.

However in our city we have had 2 very educated women (1 a professor and 1 an assistant principal) who left their children in the hot car all day resulting in the children dying and nothing happens to them.  I think it is time for people to be responsible for their actions and pay attention to what they are doing.  I can't imagine not looking in your back seat to see if anything or anyone is there before you get out of a car.  If people complain about this, I think people are afraid they will come up with riduculous laws, like stopping by a trash can to throw trash out and not taking the children with you, that you will get arrested.

 
September 13, 2008, 2:41 pm CDT

People need to worry about their kids

I've notice its the people who accuse and dictate to everyone else how to parent their kids who have the most annoying, rude, back talking brats.  Child welfare worries about some of the dumbest things.  Child welfare should be a form of government that I believe should be banned.

 

My daughter was bitten at the daycare.  Child welfare NEVER investigated it.  The police department was the only people who gave a crap and investigated it.  They investigated the bite nothing but the bite.  Didn't do a home inspection, didn't invade our privacy (not that they would have found anything if they had).  But the police did a better job and cared more then Child Welfare could ever have a concept of doing.  Or should I say, Child-We-Really-Don't-Care-About-Their-Welfare. 

 

So I say let's get rid of case workers who think they're better then everyone and above the law and place chldren in abusive foster homes.  Let's get rid of child welfare and use our police who are real trained professionals.  Also to the parents, grandparents, and everyone who have to worry about how others raise their kids.  While your watching my kids your kids are committing the crimes you complain about and leaving you grandkids to raise. 

 
September 13, 2008, 4:46 pm CDT

Leaving Kids in Cars

We had a case here in the KC area where a mother left her son in the car just to get something to drink.  Not only did she leave him in the car, but she left the car running (it was cold outside).  The car was stolen and she tried to get her kid out of the car seat, he was dragged to his death.  This woman was not charged at all.  I know it probably sounds very cold hearted, and people will say she has suffered enough, but not as much as her son.  She should have been charged.  It is against the law to leave your child in the car alone. 

 

I wish I could remember who put it this way, but I really like it.  Let's see how much your child is worth to you.  Would you leave a $1000 bill in the car?  No.  How about a $100 dollar bill?  No.  How about a $50 dollar bill? No.  How about a $20 dollar bill?  No.  And so on and so on. You wouldn't leave a $20 dollar bill, but you would your child. So your child isn't worth $20.00.  I never left my child in the car, no matter how difficult it was to take him out and put in back, or no matter how close it was.

 

Some mistakes you only get to make once.

 

 
September 13, 2008, 4:57 pm CDT

parrents falsey accused

After working in the court system and for private attorneys, it is unbelievable what people will do.  Any one can file a complaint, criminal or civil, against anyone and say whatever they want.  It does not matter to some people what being "under oath" means or they just do not care.  It can be devastating. 
 
September 14, 2008, 9:56 am CDT

IT HAPPENED TO ME

 Hi Dr. Phil;

   I had my 9 year old daughter and 3 year old son taken from me on 1986, I had left them  to play

with other children with a 14 yaer old baby sitting while I ran to the store. It was in may of that year

so it stayed light out side later than i the winter. Well I was gone for not more than an hour, and when

I returned there was a card from the local police department. So I called to see what had happened,

and the mother of the other children was busted for credit card fraud, and when they came to pick up

her children they took mine also, the officer said that they had already been placed, it was about

 7:30, but he said I should not have any problem getting my kids because I was not involved, but he

said I would have to wait until the next  day to pick them up. Well I tell you that was the longest night

in my life. The next morning I did not bother calling CPS I just went there expecting to pick up my

children. Well when I got there this woman had talked to my mother, whom we are not close at all.

  She started acusing me of all these crimes I supose to have done, all I had was a ticket for driving

with out my licence in posseion, which I had just not with me. I could not believe it was the worst night

mare in my life. My kids were my life. And from that day on I lost my kids just on faulse accusations

from my own mother, she even got up on the first court hearing, and told the judge she did not want them

but she did not want  me to have them either. To this day I have not talked to my mother.

 
September 14, 2008, 11:16 am CDT

Know the facts

Quote From: pearamedic

I've notice its the people who accuse and dictate to everyone else how to parent their kids who have the most annoying, rude, back talking brats.  Child welfare worries about some of the dumbest things.  Child welfare should be a form of government that I believe should be banned.

 

My daughter was bitten at the daycare.  Child welfare NEVER investigated it.  The police department was the only people who gave a crap and investigated it.  They investigated the bite nothing but the bite.  Didn't do a home inspection, didn't invade our privacy (not that they would have found anything if they had).  But the police did a better job and cared more then Child Welfare could ever have a concept of doing.  Or should I say, Child-We-Really-Don't-Care-About-Their-Welfare. 

 

So I say let's get rid of case workers who think they're better then everyone and above the law and place chldren in abusive foster homes.  Let's get rid of child welfare and use our police who are real trained professionals.  Also to the parents, grandparents, and everyone who have to worry about how others raise their kids.  While your watching my kids your kids are committing the crimes you complain about and leaving you grandkids to raise. 

If you are going to be critical of the childwelfare system you must first know the facts.  I have worked in child welfare for 15+years.  I believe in the system and although not perfect does a very good job.  Each state in the Union has seperate laws.  In Pennsylvania the system is County run with regulations from the state and federal goverment.  Child Welfare can not become involved unless there is an allegation.  Although many believe that we pick on people this is not accurate.  There also needs to be an allegation of abuse or neglect as defined by the Child Protective Service Law (CPSL) and the Juvenile Act. There also must be a perpatrator as defined by law.  Again in Pa this is a parent ,guardian, significant other of a parent or guardian, caretaker or household member over the age of 14.  This does not mean that other abuse does not exist it just does not fall under the jurisdiction of Child Welfare however does fall under the jurisidiction of Law Enforcement.  It is also important to understand that the standard between law enforcement and Child Welfare is different.  Law Enforcement is attempting to determine if a criminal act has occured and Child Welfare is looking at Child Abuse.  It is possible to have one without the other.  Child Welfare is always being condemened for doing to much or not enough.  Prior to making judgement be sure that all the facts are accurate and present.  Although I am unable to speak for all agencies across the nation I will and can assure you that my agency takes the job and children very seriously and follow the letter of the law. 
 
September 14, 2008, 12:32 pm CDT

parents falsely accused

I don't think this mother was falsely accused.  The fact is she left her child in a car alone.  It only takes a second for something horrific  to happen.  Even if she could still see the car there was no excuse.  How long does it take to get your child out of the car and take with you?  How long does it take to "heal" a devestated child or family?
 
September 14, 2008, 8:20 pm CDT

In response

Quote From: socialworkmom

If you are going to be critical of the childwelfare system you must first know the facts.  I have worked in child welfare for 15+years.  I believe in the system and although not perfect does a very good job.  Each state in the Union has seperate laws.  In Pennsylvania the system is County run with regulations from the state and federal goverment.  Child Welfare can not become involved unless there is an allegation.  Although many believe that we pick on people this is not accurate.  There also needs to be an allegation of abuse or neglect as defined by the Child Protective Service Law (CPSL) and the Juvenile Act. There also must be a perpatrator as defined by law.  Again in Pa this is a parent ,guardian, significant other of a parent or guardian, caretaker or household member over the age of 14.  This does not mean that other abuse does not exist it just does not fall under the jurisdiction of Child Welfare however does fall under the jurisidiction of Law Enforcement.  It is also important to understand that the standard between law enforcement and Child Welfare is different.  Law Enforcement is attempting to determine if a criminal act has occured and Child Welfare is looking at Child Abuse.  It is possible to have one without the other.  Child Welfare is always being condemened for doing to much or not enough.  Prior to making judgement be sure that all the facts are accurate and present.  Although I am unable to speak for all agencies across the nation I will and can assure you that my agency takes the job and children very seriously and follow the letter of the law. 

First the case worker accused me of biting my daughter when a child had bitten my daughter.  At the hospital, I was told by the police officer that child welfare had been called and would be investigating the matter as well.  However no case worker ever showed and the officer seemed to be handling it.  It was only later that I learned the child welfare worker said she had gone to my house, looked around, and spoke to me.

 

I have plane tickets and hotel receipts to show I was not home.  So she could not have gone in my home and spoken to me.  So her report is false!   Last I heard she is still a case worker!   She should have been fired if not arrested so making false reports.

 

My old neighbors had a newborn and during the dead of winter had no electricity, no running water, and conditions I wouldn't put a rabid animal in.  Despite several calls from myself and neighbors no one came out.  Yet my friend had her kids taken away over night because her ex made an accusation and they realized that night it was false but waited until morning to return them!  We'd hate for case workers to have to make a drive to return children to their home rather then get their beauty sleep.

 

Our child welfare returned a child to a mother who showed she could not be trusted with a child and the child was beaten to death not to long after.  A mother was given a child after leaving her child in a truck stop for hours.

 

If a child is hurt and as you said there is nothing for Child Welfare to investigate but law enforcement sees it fit to look for other forms of abuse, should Child Welfare not be involved rather then passing the buck of Maybes to law enforcement? 

 

Since you worked for child welfare for 15+ years, have you ever apologize for the to the parents/guardians who were accused of abuse that Child Welfare determined to be false after causing the heartache and headache of being investigated?

 
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