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Topic : 12/25 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

Number of Replies: 215
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Created on : Friday, September 19, 2008, 05:26:33 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Original Air Date: 09/24/08) Do you have a friend or relative whom you've lost all contact with or have never even met? While you may dream about a reunion being a great and healing experience, reconciliation could also cause more heartache than you expect. Catherine was raised by her mother, never knowing who or where her dad was. She recently became a mom, and her desire to find her biological dad became top priority. When she did locate him, was the reunion all that she expected? Next, Angel has been trying to reconnect with her twin sons, Tylor and Taylor, for almost 20 years. With the help of Troy Dunn, a professional locator and host of the WE TV show The Locator, her dreams came true. See how the boys react to reuniting with their biological mother. And, when an adoptive mother finds out her children are going to meet their biological mother, emotions can range from joy, to tension, to feeling threatened. Follow the journey of the twins' adoptive mother, Ruth, as she shares her experience of  meeting Angel. Plus, the twins have never met their little sister face to face. Will this be the day? Then, Ricardo contacted Troy to help him find his brother, whom he had never met. Cameras follow their emotional first meeting, and find out the unexpected person who shows up. Have the siblings been able to maintain their relationship? And, if you're trying to find a long-lost loved one, you won't want to miss Troy's top tips for conducting your own search! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 28, 2008, 5:28 am CDT

09/24 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

Quote From: djsslayden

Well 11 plus years ago my husband at the age of 29 decided to look for his bmom.  He started looking 2 months before he told me he was looking.  When he told me I was happy for him.  Well 6 months later he found her.  We met her a month later.  He is the male version of his bmom.  She is a really neat lady.  She is not his mom but a mentor/aunt/sister/friend or any other title of a special person in your life who is a woman.  She gives advice only when we ask.  She doesn't judge us.  She has called almost every tuesday night for 11 years.  At first they would talk on the phone for hours but now it is about 15 minutes.  She doesn't live around the corner so in order to know her they have to talk.  What a great way for them to get to know each other.  I have to say I was pretty disappointed in his siblings.  This woman has made him a better person but they only see how she is some kind of threat to their mom.  His siblings are 9 and 11 years older than him and to be honest don't even know him.  It so hurts his feelings when they don't ask about him or her or even us.  They basically have stopped calling us because we  talk to her.  How sad is that?   His mom lives near us and we see her at least once a week.  We do tons of stuff with her so it isn't like she isn't important to us but so is this other person.  Since when are our hearts like a pie where we only have so much love to go around?   Finding a loved one can be a good thing.  I do agree with Troy when he adviced about going slow.  I would agree.  I would also be very repectful of the other family.  We are lucking in that his younger siblings think it is great to have an older brother.   Well I know someone was saying looking up a bmom is not a good thing but I would have to disagree.  I recently helped another friend find his bmom and what a joy that way.  She is so thankful to have in him her life.  Just as my husbands bmom is.  Even her family thanked us for finding her.   So they can turn out wonderful. 
I'm really glad that his reunion worked out so well! :)
 
September 28, 2008, 8:02 am CDT

The Locator

What an awesome show Dr. Phil!  It brought tears to my eyes.  Being a single mom of 4 adopted children I was greatly moved by the reunions on your show.  It is my prayer that some day my children will wish to seek out their biological families and that I as their mom will help them in their searches and support them in their endeavors.  I believe that gaining a sense of "who you are" will only solidify their identity and self esteem.  Wether it be a pleasant or not so pleasant experience it will, through the prayers and support of their immediate family, give them a peaceful sense of self as they grow into adulthood.

 

I hope that when the time comes to seach that I can seek out advise and support to the likes in which I had seen on your show.

 

 

 
September 28, 2008, 1:51 pm CDT

Looking for My Father

My name is Cheryl, I'm looking for my father whom I've never met.  If anyone has any tips on how to go about searching for him that would be great.  I have tried googling his name, age, and last known residence, with no luck!  His name is William E. Ortmann. He is originally from Germany, his last known place of residence is Mamaroneck, NY.  If anyone could possibly help me, it would be greatly appreciated!
 
September 28, 2008, 11:24 pm CDT

This Hit Home....

First of all when my mom found out she was pregnant with me my biological father told my mom to have an abortion and when she refused he left the state. (they were 18 -19 at the time).  But, I had no clue of who my father was until i was 12. (well his name) I then found my grandma, aunt and uncle lived down the road and thought i would have a family to hold on to and i would meet my father. (didn't happen) I didn't have any communication with them until i turned 18. I hoped i could finally get some answers. But that was a dead end. They would always change the subject. But i am now 27 and i've never even spoke to him but keep little communication with my grandma. I do know his name, where he lives and that i have a brother and a sister, also he is recently divorced, and doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. Since he hasn't been to his home town since i was 2yrs old. I don't know what to do. I want to be able to at least speak to him even if he tells me that he doesnt want to have anything to do with me and my family. I have seen pics of my sister and brother and would love to at least have some possitive communication with them. I do have two beautiful girls 4 and 2 and would love to introduce them to my father and siblings....                             Anyone have any clue what i should do?

 
September 29, 2008, 7:25 am CDT

Adoptive Looking for siblings

Hi- I was adopted privately in the hospital. My adoptive parents are very supportive of me trying to find out if I have biological siblings and trying to find my medical history. I know the hospital I was adopted at, I've looked in newspapers back at the time I was born but nothing was published in the paper, I have checked at the courthouse in the county I was born and they have no records at all. The Dr that delivered me, his son was the lawyer that drew up the paperwork, both of them are now deceased. My adoptive parents said they don't know who the mother was as they adopted me a day or two old and was escorted out of the hospital due to the mother still being in the hospital when they took me home. I was told that the year I was born they didn't require to keep medical records until the year after. I also contacted our states Health and Human Services and was told by the gentleman that he had contacted my biological mom and she said she didn't want anything to do with me. I'm not sure if that was true. I have come to a dead end. I am financially not able to hire someone to help me find my information with what most people are asking for money to do it. Can anyone help me. I don't know where to go from here. Thank you!!
 
September 29, 2008, 2:39 pm CDT

50 year old shock.

 
September 29, 2008, 6:01 pm CDT

Reunion

This show brought me to tears as so many reunion shows have. It did my heart good to see the way the twins welcomed their birth mother into their lives.

My husband and I were forced by our parents to give our son up in 1966 when we were seniors in high school. I did the usual things trying to find him but it was through an agency and the records were sealed. Late in the 1980's we did sign papers that if he was looking for us that they could release our information. In 1997 we got a call from a woman that does searches telling us he was looking for us. Within and hour we were talking to him, rather my husband was talking and I was crying. We talked for hours over the next couple of days. Then he and his wife came to see us. I was in a complete state of shock that my dream had come true. Within a short time of the visit, he told me he just wasen't ready for any of it and disappeared from our lives. I ended up in therapy to deal with the heartbreak. Last year I found contact info. online and sent him an email. We wrote back and forth for about 3 months, just friendly things and telling about our lives. Everything was fine and then the emails stopped this past Oct. I have no idea why and I have no way of finding out. He grew up very near us and still lives in this area. He's in the hotel industry and I know where he's working and his email address at work. I'm afraid to contact him again for fear of more heartbreak, but I don't feel like I can put this to rest again without knowing why he quit writing. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, but I don't know that I can face rejection again. At this point I truly don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.

 
September 30, 2008, 11:58 am CDT

Troy Dunn

Quote From: hpmx59

After Doctor Locator Phil Reunion The. I never heard of this before. But good luck anyway. See you on Wed-

nesday September 24th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.----------------------------------------------------

I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, it's my fist time posting a message here.

 

I'm an adoptee, an older one who's life has been very different then most adoptees, (understatement) but I'm not going  there, what I can say is I've not been a happy person the biggest part of my life, that void some days I tell you, you feel like you're walking around aimlessly.  Mr. Dunn what you said on the show is so true, a person can't find peace within when there are so many pieces missing.

 

Mr. Dunn the reason I used your name for my message title is because of your mom, I have tears typing this now, I could see her pain, I wanted so badly to reach into my tv screen and give her a big hug, because I understand.

 

Mr. Dunn's ((((((Mom)))))))) big hugs going out to you, and how fortunate you are to have been blessed with a beautiful loving son......ah life doesn't get better then that does it?

 

Anyway I've been thinking about that show ever since I watched it, really struck a heart cord.

 

Woohoo Dr. Phil if you happen to read this, just wanted to say kudo's to you with all  your shows reaching out helping so many. Thank you thank you thank you.....and one more THANK YOU :)

 

Take care you all, God Bless

 
October 1, 2008, 9:11 am CDT

I've been lsearching too!

I watched the show this morning and I was inspired. I have been searching for my biological father for quite a long time now. I am 36 years old and my mother is deceased. There were rumors of who my father was but it was never determined or confirmed by my mother. I attempted a DNA test with an alleged half sibling which ended up a disappointment. Finding my father means so much to me and my family as we would like to be recognized for who we are. We are Ojibwe native and cannot be recognized as so unless we can find my father. There are so many other reasons I would like to find him. I can relate to people who wonder about lost parents and feel incomplete at times. My story is actually interesting but it would be most interesting with a conclusion.  
 
October 1, 2008, 10:38 am CDT

Money Lost

Quote From: sunshinea

Hi- I was adopted privately in the hospital. My adoptive parents are very supportive of me trying to find out if I have biological siblings and trying to find my medical history. I know the hospital I was adopted at, I've looked in newspapers back at the time I was born but nothing was published in the paper, I have checked at the courthouse in the county I was born and they have no records at all. The Dr that delivered me, his son was the lawyer that drew up the paperwork, both of them are now deceased. My adoptive parents said they don't know who the mother was as they adopted me a day or two old and was escorted out of the hospital due to the mother still being in the hospital when they took me home. I was told that the year I was born they didn't require to keep medical records until the year after. I also contacted our states Health and Human Services and was told by the gentleman that he had contacted my biological mom and she said she didn't want anything to do with me. I'm not sure if that was true. I have come to a dead end. I am financially not able to hire someone to help me find my information with what most people are asking for money to do it. Can anyone help me. I don't know where to go from here. Thank you!!
Hi, I just read your letter and I will tell you to beware of giviving out money for searches.  I found out I was adopted when I was 46, I am now 64.  Because it was a private adoption and the years that have past it makes it even more difficult or so they tell me.  (I believe that an adopted adult should have the right to know their identity and this law is so unfair.  I don't even know my nationality or my medical history and I am told still  that unless the law gets changed I may never be allowed to know who I am.  I spent a few thousand dollars to so called reputable organizations only to tell me a year later that all they could come up with was the small amount of information that I already gave them.  I don't know what to tell you because I don't know what to do for myself.  (I'm sure we would get information if we were rich)  All  I will  say is beware of people who are out there and all they want to do is take the little money you have.  I learned the hard way and I am still search for what I believe is my birth right to know.  Good luck.
 
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