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Topic : 12/25 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

Number of Replies: 215
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Created on : Friday, September 19, 2008, 05:26:33 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Original Air Date: 09/24/08) Do you have a friend or relative whom you've lost all contact with or have never even met? While you may dream about a reunion being a great and healing experience, reconciliation could also cause more heartache than you expect. Catherine was raised by her mother, never knowing who or where her dad was. She recently became a mom, and her desire to find her biological dad became top priority. When she did locate him, was the reunion all that she expected? Next, Angel has been trying to reconnect with her twin sons, Tylor and Taylor, for almost 20 years. With the help of Troy Dunn, a professional locator and host of the WE TV show The Locator, her dreams came true. See how the boys react to reuniting with their biological mother. And, when an adoptive mother finds out her children are going to meet their biological mother, emotions can range from joy, to tension, to feeling threatened. Follow the journey of the twins' adoptive mother, Ruth, as she shares her experience of  meeting Angel. Plus, the twins have never met their little sister face to face. Will this be the day? Then, Ricardo contacted Troy to help him find his brother, whom he had never met. Cameras follow their emotional first meeting, and find out the unexpected person who shows up. Have the siblings been able to maintain their relationship? And, if you're trying to find a long-lost loved one, you won't want to miss Troy's top tips for conducting your own search! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 24, 2008, 3:02 pm CDT

Parental Alienation syndrome & Implacable Hostility

Quote From: shrimpety

I wish Dr. Phil would do a comprehensive show on Parent Alienation and the long term affect is has on both children and extended families. It amazes me that out of the blue someone can contact another and announce that they are their parent or child, yet every day there are children that are removed from the lives of a parent without the parents consent and nothing is done about it. Many times these children are told horrible lies about the other parent that color the children's perception of the other parent and there are no consequences.

It is interesting to read that so many men were denied access to or weren't even told about their children.

And, in my opinion, when a couple does decide to give up a child for adoption that they are giving both the child and the adopting family a gift and that we shouldn't be so cavalier about what a selfless act that decision is.

Google

Parental Alienation Syndrome and Implacable Hostility

 

 

It seems, children's fragile perceptions of themselves and of the world they live in are being selfishly disregareded...by adults who ascribe to this type "Parenting Style." 

 

I agree this type of subject would be interesting to learn about on the Dr. Phil show...!

 
September 24, 2008, 3:03 pm CDT

09/24 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

I am sickened at the attitude of the person that posted the idea that birth moms are making excuses for giving up their children!  Honestly if you have never walked this long and lonely then you have absolutely no right or any idea of what you are talking bout.  A lot of us birth moms experienced tremendous pressure at the hands of the adoptive parents, the agency, the attorney, and/or their own personal parents to give up our child.  If you have given birth to a child and have raised that child without ever relinquishing a child then you can't even fathom the emotions that go into putting your child (and usually your first born child at that) up for adoption.  And let me just tell you that when the time comes for the reunion the heartache that ensues when you realize that the adoptive parents you chose for you child were far from perfect!!!  My daughter not only did not live a fairy tale life, she ended up in an emotional growth boarding school b/c of some of the hurts that she endured at the hands of her adoptive parents.    Now is maybe the time I should mention to this insensitive poster that I was told when my daughter was 9 that she had been killed in a bicycle accident.  Now tell me does that sound like supportive adoptive parents to you?  I longed for the ability to meet her for years to have those hopes dashed when they chose to lie to me in the biggest way.  And no the adoptive parents are not supportive of this reunion between her and I.  I live 840 miles and they won't allow her to come and visit with me at all even though she is 18.  They even went as far as to tell her that is she continued to maintain a relationship with me then they would not pay for her to go to college, and yes they held true to that promise.

 

So before you go and insinuate that birth moms are making excuses when we say it was a choice that we did not want to make, research the facts!  here is a good place to start:  www.forums.adoption.com or better yet maybe you should google :Cindy Jordan, or the book fast track adoption and further educate yourself on this VERY sensitive part of a lot of women's lives!!!

 
September 24, 2008, 3:03 pm CDT

contacting Marine buddy

Dear Dr. Phil,

 

I went into the U.S. Marine Corps in 1970, a high school dropout. Right before I left, the football coach at my high school said that I would never amount to anything because I was a dropout and my father told me to find a new place to live. Thanks to a Marine Corps Captain, James H. Davis, Commanding Officer of Marine Detachment U.S. S. Holland  AS 32, I have achieved numerous accolades in my life.

 

Captain Davis persuaded me to take my GED test and supported my endeavors in the martial arts. His understanding and influence on his young marines was nothing short of amazing. He helped me see that I could achieve anything if I kept trying. As of today, I have a Master's degree, I retired as a Police Lieutenant after 21 years of service, owner of successful gym businesses in the area and am a world-renowned martial arts instructor with 38 years of experience.

 

I have tried unsuccessfully to locate Captain Davis since Marine records were lost in a fire. I have also searched on the web for some help and the USS Holland site...no luck.  I am sure that  he has helped many more Marines in his career, but this one would like to say Thank You in person!

 

Thank you in advance for your help.

 

John Graham

 

 
September 24, 2008, 3:03 pm CDT

Hoping To Find Her

I have been trying to find my real grandmother for the past year, and i kind of have gave up, but i hope you will help me find her. She left my dad when he was around 10 years old, and i don't think she even knows i exist. She left my dad with his dad, which is my grandpa. I have tried to ask my grandpa and dad if they have heard from her and they don't like talking about it. All i know is her maiden name is Sally Summerfield and when she was younger she lived in West Salem, Illinois. I don't know where she is now and what her name is, but i really want to find her and meet my real grandmother.

 
September 24, 2008, 3:05 pm CDT

Looking for my half sister

I have been looking for my half sister for the last few years. My dad and her mom were only together for a little while so I only got to see her one time when she was a baby. Her name is Jamie Shirley and her mom's name is Karen. She was born in Dallas, Texas and from what I understand has spent most of her life in Arlington, Texas. I do not talk to my father. He hasn't been a dad to me, anymore than he has to her (he has seen her a handfull of times as a baby and once at age 12) and I am worried that she might not want to know us (my brother and I) because of him. I have been looking online for her or her mom but have come up empty handed so far.
 
September 24, 2008, 3:08 pm CDT

Dr.Phil,

 Greetings Dr.Phil

 

 I Come to you for help, My Mother passed away, not knowing of her Older sister, My Aunt Eva, She Lost touch with her and I have never met Her, I am 47, years old, and I have not met Her or My real Grandmother on My Dads side.  I Would love for Your help in this to find My Aunt Eva, and to meet My Grandmother for the first time, I know she is in her 90s, as My Dad is 75 this year.

 

 Please Help Dr/Phil,

 

 Sincerely:

 Donna

 
September 24, 2008, 3:09 pm CDT

Pandora`s Box

I was born and adopted in 1969.My birthmother was 15 when she had me,she wanted someone to give her unconditional love,and she thought having a baby would fill that void.She put me up when I was 8 months old.To make a long story short,I always knew I was adopted,and my adoptive parents helped me search for her until they both passed away.I found 1 year after my Adoptive father passed.She was in California and I was in Virginia.She moved to Virginia less than 6 months after I found her.She has post traumatic syndrome.so I really have to watch what I say.But that mother-daughter relationship doesn`t seem to be there for me.I am now 39 years old and she still has me as that 8 month old she gave up.Sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake by finding her.I feel very guilty for finding her and then not having the feelings I always thought I would have.

I have no idea where to go from here.My feelings are all mixed up.I don`t want to hurt her,but I can`t get her to understand that I need to start out as a friend and then hopefully we can be closer.She wants it instantly.I can`t do it.

If anyone has any suggestions,please respond.

Used to be me (Shannon Marie)

 
September 24, 2008, 3:12 pm CDT

09/24 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

Hello, I though todays show was amazing. My sister has tried to find our mothers sister. My mom came over from Germany. Her sister and her were separated because of the war. My mom was with friends and sister went somewhere else. That has been since 1935, not sure of date. Is there anyone out there that could help finding someone from another country that has been missing that long.
 
September 24, 2008, 3:12 pm CDT

Finding friend

Quote From: momofanangel

I am looking for a friend of mine. His name is Ian Lehr, I've known him for over 11 years now. I haven't heard from him in over a year now. He was stationed in Iraq, he was due to be home January of this year. I have done online searches, even paid a search engine to find him with no results. The website he had for 12 years has been closed down due to non payment (he had this website since he was 12!), my emails remain unanswered and I really want to find out what happened to him... Can anyone PLEASE help me?!
Just wondered if you have tried to find him via the branch of service he was in or maybe his relatives? 
 
September 24, 2008, 3:12 pm CDT

i know what she is feeling

 

First of all i would like to say that i really enjoy the show always have intresting information and ideas on how to make things work.

 

I now what the first lady is saying on todays show, as my dad disowned me when i was 7 years old and that really affected me and to this day it still affects me.

 
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