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Topic : 12/25 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

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Created on : Friday, September 19, 2008, 05:26:33 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Original Air Date: 09/24/08) Do you have a friend or relative whom you've lost all contact with or have never even met? While you may dream about a reunion being a great and healing experience, reconciliation could also cause more heartache than you expect. Catherine was raised by her mother, never knowing who or where her dad was. She recently became a mom, and her desire to find her biological dad became top priority. When she did locate him, was the reunion all that she expected? Next, Angel has been trying to reconnect with her twin sons, Tylor and Taylor, for almost 20 years. With the help of Troy Dunn, a professional locator and host of the WE TV show The Locator, her dreams came true. See how the boys react to reuniting with their biological mother. And, when an adoptive mother finds out her children are going to meet their biological mother, emotions can range from joy, to tension, to feeling threatened. Follow the journey of the twins' adoptive mother, Ruth, as she shares her experience of  meeting Angel. Plus, the twins have never met their little sister face to face. Will this be the day? Then, Ricardo contacted Troy to help him find his brother, whom he had never met. Cameras follow their emotional first meeting, and find out the unexpected person who shows up. Have the siblings been able to maintain their relationship? And, if you're trying to find a long-lost loved one, you won't want to miss Troy's top tips for conducting your own search! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 20, 2008, 11:23 am CDT

Doctor Phil Show

After Doctor Locator Phil Reunion The. I never heard of this before. But good luck anyway. See you on Wed-

nesday September 24th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.----------------------------------------------------

 
September 21, 2008, 7:40 pm CDT

09/24 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

My son had a son by one woman and a daughter by another he was never allowed to be a part of their lives.  There was court ordered support paid.  My son passed away seven years ago.  I had been to court for visitation but the final word on my grandaughter was no as it may be to upsetting to her as she believes the stepfather is her dad.  Her mother left Amber with the stepfather and took off she also left another daughter with him as well, Amber is 15.  The grandson will be turning 19 on September 23rd.  Lisa, Aarons mother threatened us long ago and had my son attacked, it went on and on.  I was in fear for my family's safety and I never persued Aaron because of  his mother and I figured that some day maybe he will want to know and come looking for us.  I know where both children are and monitor that.  I last had contact with Aaron when he was 21 days old.  My son told me that there had been a cuple of times that Lisa allowed him to see Aaron but was not allowed to tell him who he was.  They are constantly on my mind and I pray for them every night that they will be a part of our family.

 
September 21, 2008, 10:27 pm CDT

lost daugther

Dr. Phil,

 

   Thank you for having this show. When I was about 17 years old my mother took my daugther away from me at the hospital and gave her to Social Worker in Charlottesville, Va. for adoption. I did not give any one premission. I was told the baby was a stillborn. But, since then I have find out she was raised in Charlottesville, Va., and alive.  I would like to find her. For two reasons her father is dieing and I want her to know that I didn't give her up. She was born in Richmond, Va. Her birh date is September 25, 1965 or 1966.

 

    I have been looking for her the ways I know how but, no luck. Is there any new ways or avenues I may go through. Is there an organization that might would help?

 

Thanks

 

gfb          Please tell me how to get in touch with them.

 

 

Thanks Again Dr. Phil

 
September 22, 2008, 5:08 am CDT

a friend

I HAD A FRIEND I LOST TRACK OF 15 YEARS AGO AND SHE FOUND ME THROUGH THE COMPUTER.I WAS SO HAPPY AT FIRST ONLY TO FIND OUT SHE DID'NT WANT TO BOTHER AFTER ALL.SHE CALLED ME AND I WANTED SO MUCH TO MEET HER.I MEAN AFTER 15 YEARS WHY WOULD'NT I.ANYWAY IT DIDNT HAPPEN SHE KEPT MAKING EXCUESS'S AND LOTS OF THEM.I WAS SO BROKEN HEARTED.I DECIDED TO FOLLOW ONE OF DR.PHIL'S RULES.HOWS IT WORKING FOR YOU.AND IT WAS'NT SO NEEDLESS TO SAY SHE NEVER DID COME AND I NEVER DID GET TO MEET HER.IT HURTS BUT YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO GET ON WITH IT.OH THE REASON I COULD'NT FIND HER AND YES I WAS ;LOOKING.SHE GOT MARRIED AND HER NAME CHANGED.IM STILL DISAPPOINTED BUT YOU GET ON WITH YOUR OWN LIFE.YES I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO MEET HER AFTER 15 YEARS.BUT I GUESS SHE DID'NT WANT TO MEET ME.MY QUESTION WOULD BE AND I HAVE ASK HER.IS WHY DID SHE EVEN BOTHER.SHE CAN'T SEEM TO ANSER THAT WHEN I ASKED HER.AND THEN SHE GOT MAD AT ME FOR WHAT I DONT KNOW.
 
September 22, 2008, 5:24 am CDT

Found my older sister!

Finding ye blood sibling isn't alway's a good thing,I found my 1/2 sister almost 4 yrs ago and at first it was exciting but then she started not returning my phone calls or e-mail's,her excuse was she isn't a phone person and the excuse for no return e-mails was she isn't on the computer that much,I had thought when at first we got in touch that with my birthday coming up she would have called me and I know she didn't forget because she has another 1/2 sister that has the same exact birthday as mine and then just this year I found my grand niece on myspace,my sisters grand-daughter and like her I had hoped we could keep in touch,I even asked her to let her grand-mother know that wanted to have contact again and after several messages sent to her on myspace with no reciprocation on her part I finally just like with my sister gave up,I have decided to just let it go,and I know that one day my sister might regret not keeping in touch,tis her lost,me thinks maybe it might also because she loved our father where as I hated him but then he didn't raise her so she wasn't subjected to beatings and degradation like I was,our father threw it in my face all the time that my sister was somebody,she was smart and graduated High-School where I was nothing and never would be,alway's called me degratory names,he even dis-owned me 6 months before he died over a photo he claims I had stolen,so my sister was the lucky one.
 
September 22, 2008, 6:45 am CDT

Reunions

I struggled a long time with the question of whether or not to invite media to my reunion. I was put up for adoption right after my birth. And after 31 years, I finally met my mother for the first time at the end of August. Reunions are emotionally complicated things, but I know from seeing others, how rewarding and heart warming they can be. I am one of a few people that had a great experience meeting a long lost relative. In the end, I felt for my mothers sake, to keep our moment private. There is nothing worse then the added pressure of a spotlight to scare the living daylights out of someone. It can create false hope, and force people to act differently then they normally would. I hope for all those involved, that your reunions go well, and please be sure to have strong supportive people around you when its time. Fear of a second rejection is a heavy weight to bear, so prepare as best you can, and may God bless you and care for you.
 
September 22, 2008, 6:51 am CDT

Your not alone

 Dr. Phil,

                  You know I've got family I haven't seen since they were baby's. And to tell the truth I don't even remember how old I was when I left home.  I got brothers and sisters I don't even remember but their names. All I remember they was living in Ind. the last time I saw them as baby's. I didn't have what you would call the best childhood and who knows it could of been all my fault. And I've been living with out family for my whole life now. I guess nobody really even cared about me or me them. Well lets say I don't care about my mom or step father , I have alwys woundered about the kids and what ever happen or became of them. But thats as far as it went cause I do remember mom not wanting me around.

                                So God only know a Reunion might never never happen with me but it is nice to see other people find each other I guess.

 
September 22, 2008, 8:06 am CDT

My husband would love to get the chance to meet his son

My husband's high school girlfriend got pregnant, before he was leaving to join the Army. She didn't tell him about it until he was home on leave, and his son was already put up for adoption, with Catholic Family Services. He had NO say in the adoption, and would have liked the chance to raise the baby himself.

 

This has always bothered my husband, he has tried to look his son up but was always told by Catholic Family Services, he doesn't have any rights to the child. Recently, I convinced my husband to call CFS again to see if laws have changed, and they said with the consent of the birth mother they could start a search for him. He has been in touch with the birth mother, she has agreed to give permission, but we are still waiting for the document, trying to be patient waiting for it.

 

My husband left the Army in 1986, and decided to re-enlist in 2006, and is now stationed in Europe. He was just told he will be deployed soon, and wants this meeting to happen before he deploys for peace of mind. It is very difficult to work on this being in another country, we can only pray that it will happen soon.

This young man is now 25 years old, we know he was born mid January 1983, in New Haven, CT. We don't know if he has any interest in meeting his biological Dad, but sure hope that he does.

 

As much as I've heard that these meetings can turn ugly, I would have to think it's still better than never getting the chance to meet your son/daughter.

 

 

 
September 22, 2008, 8:14 am CDT

NEVER HAD A FATHER

I CAN TRULY RELATE TO THIS SHOW I'M 51 YRS OLD AND MY FATHER DOESN'T EVEN KNOW i EXIST. i ONLY KNOW HIS NAME AND THAT HE WAS IN THE SERVICE AND THAT HE WAS FROM THE SOUTH. IT WOULD BE SO NICE TO FILL IN THE BLANKS;  I WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW HIM IF HE WOULD BE OPEN TO IT. .HE SHOULD BE IN HIS EARLY SEVENTIES.  HIS NAME IS HENRY DOUGLAS DAVENPORT.
 
September 22, 2008, 9:23 am CDT

Found Birthmother after 10 years search

Quote From: hpmx59

After Doctor Locator Phil Reunion The. I never heard of this before. But good luck anyway. See you on Wed-

nesday September 24th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.----------------------------------------------------

After searching for 10 years with the help of friends, Carol Davis and Jenny Kolp. Jenny Kolp is the one who finally located my birthmother. I always thought I would KNOW her if I saw her but that's not the case, as I had been "seeing" her most every day of my teen years as she was just 1 mile down the road from me growing up! I would either be taking the dogs for walk down the road for exercise or riding the horses and having her kids running out to pet the "horsies". Yeah... my little brothers and sister. Imagine that.

Needless to say, she did NOT want to be found by me. She gave me her medical background grudgingly, which includes heart problems, diabetes, etc. All of which is nice to know which now before the age of 40 I have suffered my own series of mini-strokes and TIA's as well as other medical concerns. When we decided to get more tests to figure out the why's of all this with me her husband had just died so I haven't told her anything yet as to what is going on as I don't want to add to her trauma more than what  I obviously already am. I'm giving her time to grieve still but know that she needs to know these things for my brothers and sisters, as my doctors continue to remind me. That medical information being shared is so very important on all sides. She can't imagine how this just may have saved my life.

I did find out that I came from a HUGE family - she was one set of twins out of three sets. There was a total of 8 children. WOW! I have met two of my aunts who have welcomed me with open arms but because of the strain that it has caused on the relationship between my aunt and my birthmother, I have stepped back. It was not my intention to cause pain for any of them, only for me to bring love. Not just from me as I have a very open mind and open heart, but also from her three grandchildren - ages 14, 11 and 7. The 11 year old looks just like her and the 14 year old has a lot of questions for her that "mom" can't answer.

Anyway that's my short but sad story of my search and reunion. Good luck to those who are out there searching. I am still searching for a brother whom was relinquished  (Yes! She did this two times!) and my birthfather.

Best of luck

L. Hicks
Little Rock,  AR
 
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