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Topic : 10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Number of Replies: 116
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, September 26, 2008, 02:41:46 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

Did you know stress can take years off your life and even kill you? If you feel overwhelmed, overscheduled or overextended, you don't want to miss this show! Jamie says when she lost her job and her house went into foreclosure, she gained 30 pounds, had constant stomach aches and couldn't stop crying. Her problems seemed so insurmountable that she even started smoking for the first time in her life! Jamie's 17–year-old daughter, Breanna, blames herself for her mom's financial woes and says she doesn't even feel comfortable in her own home. Can this mother-daughter bond be restored? Dr. Frank Lawlis, author of the new book, The Stress Answer, shares tools that can help Jamie get back on track. Then, Susan says she’s quick to lose her temper and sometimes takes her anger out on her three children. She says she got so fed up with her family that she packed her bags and stayed at a hotel for several days! Dr. Lawlis pays this overworked mom a house call. Find out the stress-relieving techniques he taught Susan that you can do at home. And, Iron Chef Cat Cora whips up delicious recipes that can help you de-stress. Plus, tune in for an unbelievable performance to lift your spirits!  Share your views with others.  


Find out what happened on the show.


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October 2, 2008, 4:45 pm CDT

Stressed and I need more

I watched Dr. Phill about this stressed out to the max and Dr. Phill's show had good information but some people like me needs more.  I have been depressed/stressed for over 5 years and in a Dr.'s care.  Been on a number of prescription drugs and nothing seems to help.  I still take some but I really don't know why.  My health has gone downhill very bad, hight BP, Thyroid disorder, my body hurts all over, weight gain, can't sleep, eat or don't eat I lay around and it's hard to just do simple daily chores such as make my bed get dressed.  I am afraid to go out into public because I'm afraid I will do something wrong.  I hate myself, I use to be pretty, think, fun, very family oriented.  Now I'm fat, ugly, self conscious, sad, my memory is not very good and I'm just afraid.  My family really doesn't understand to move to Vietnam due to his PTSD we were married 23 years.  I have never lived alone and I hate it.  I have a boyfriend of 2 1/2 years and want to live with him and am at his home most of the time day and night but he does not want me to live with him.  I don't understand that part of him, but he is a wonderful person and truly loves me and helps me out so very very much.

 

I don't know how to get through this depression and have tried to kill myself twice but asked for help one time and a stranger called the police another time.  I have been in the mental part of the hospital 3 times and it was good while I was there but got home and same old thing.  I had 2 friends kill themselves one was my best friend I met in 1st grade she killed herself at the age of 49 by taking a skill saw and cutting her head off.  I understand why she killed herself as she did it only for her.  I think of killing myself daily and really don't know why I haven't did it yet.  I was raised by an abusive mother but stood by her side till I moved out. 

 

I don't know how to get out of this mode and the little suggestions Dr. Phil's show gave us today might help some and I will try them, but I'm afraid I and others need more.  Oh, I live on SSD $994.00 per month so not much extra to blow.  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  For others like me I will pray for you.

 

 

 
October 2, 2008, 5:00 pm CDT

She has her daughter and both are healthy

I saw the show today....she doesn't realize how lucky she is....right now as of this morning, my husband of 36 years was told that this terminal lymphoma has returned and more treatments are needed immediately...so off we were to the treatment room.  We have been going through all this for over 4 years...Bob was told he had 3 to 5 years to live....its coming up to 4 1/2 years...and you say you're stressed!!  You have your healthy daughter and you too are cancer free!!!  We too may lose our home because of the enormous medical bills over the last 4+ years...we have already had to sell our vehicles to pay for the bills we have accumulated over all this medical history.  One doesn't realize how expensive cancer treatment is.  And now they have set up an appointment for us with Mayo Clinic in Minnesota to talk about stem cell transplant...another $150,000.00 procedure!!!!  And if that isn't enough stress. our 35 year old daughter and mother of 2 small boys has recently been diagnosed with what they call Paraneoplastic Syndrome...Dr.'s are telling her that she has a 75% chance of having cancer also...this type of syndrome masks your system for symptoms and has taken the Dr.'s 5 years to realize this...they have no idea where or when this cancer will show up!!!  And you are stressed!!!!!!  Like I said, you have your daughter, a healthy daughter and you have your whole life and future ahead of you...unlike an unknown for my husband and young daughter....consider yourself lucky.  I have written several times to Dr. Phil for help in getting our daughter, Lisa, to a specialist for a second opinion and have never gotten any response...we need help...we are not asking for money...just a referral name.  We watch alot of shows about cheating husbands, mothers who are tired of being mothers, or families who just hate each other....well our family is just the opposite...we are a close family and want a future to share with each other...please help...there would be nothing better than to be able to tell my husband that someone does care and that there is help out there for our daughter before he passes away....we are running out of time.... AND YOU'VE GOT STRESS????  TRY LIFE IN MY SHOES!!!!

 

 
October 2, 2008, 5:13 pm CDT

10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Quote From: getrealtime

If you can work part time you can work full time, go get a job and earn a living and stop asking the state to take care of you, if you haven't notice we can't take care of you we don't want to take care of you we want you to take care of yourself as many do.

 

get a full time job and start paying for your own way and see if you feel better, you are worring that if the state turns you down you are that much farther in the hole, you are the only one that can change your worries.

You need to work. I also have a couple of conditions that I could probably try to collect SS on but I wont. If you think you are depressed now you will only feel worse not working. Unless your condition requires you to be bed ridden, which it does not since you are working, then you have no right to ask me to pay for you to stay home. Quit feeling sorry for yourself!
 
October 2, 2008, 5:38 pm CDT

Thank You

Quote From: mrsomofbmx

 To everyone that is stressed out... I'm sorry and I know your pain. I know to get to the edge is always around the corner. I have lost my job after 15 yr due to the company close its doors, I lost my home, filed BK. I have three kids that I have always supported. My mother curently has 6-12 months max to live. I purchased a used 5th wheel to live in.  I'm still seeking employment. So, I know your pain and I know that we will get through this.

The tools I use to help cope are...Tell your self its OK to cry you are human. If you have kids hug them a lot and always keep them first in your life. Tell your self that you deserve nothing less then the best. When you have a bad day DONT take too much on that day . breath SLOW and put on music. 

We live in a country that we CAN become what ever we want to. It maybe a struggle to get there but keep doing the right thing. Its too easy to do the wrong thing and fall into a deeper hole. Keep your self always moving forward.

I will keep all of you in my prayers and I wish nothing but the very best to all!!!!

Refreshing and invaluable.
 
October 2, 2008, 5:40 pm CDT

can relate to stressed out mom

As I watched your show today, I was in tears. I felt like I was watching myself and everything I'm going through in my life at this time.  I felt so bad for the mom who was out of a job and about to lose her home.  This economy has affected my life also and my husband has been out of work for over a year, we are in such bad debt I feel like there is no way we will ever get out of it.  We are either fighting all the time or just not talking, all the while I feel like such a terrible mom.  I am so stressed out, I can't get my mind to relax enough to think clearly, I am not sleeping and I am so unhappy.  I work part time, I go to school and take care of the kids , the house and I just feel like it is too much.  I don't know how to get out of this mess, I just feel so hopeless and I want the woman who was on your show to know that other people are feeling the way she is, and she is not alone.  I hope things work out for her and her daughter.

 
October 2, 2008, 5:54 pm CDT

Too Stressed To

I just turned 59 and was terminated from my low pay job on my birthday. I have been fighting for over a year to keep my head above water and loss a long time ago but I still keep swimming. I left a great home and all my family in the north to move south because my disabled husband could no longer take the cold weather. By making bad decisions and trusting others I have lost my life savings and a good paying job that I was good at and dearly loved. I am unable to make the mortgage payment on an old three room, one bath, trailer, still stuck with assests I can not unload but must still make payments on, unable to pay the co-pays on all of my husbands meds, had to give up all my maintenace meds because I have no insurance coverage, do not answer my cell itf the first three numbers are 800 or any other number I do not reconize, try to leave it to the Lord to see that we have something to eat every day, and spend several hours a day at Workforce trying to get a job. My children want me to go "home" but I can't afford the fuel to leave the town I live in and neither can they financially help.
Am I stressed? You bet. But I get up every morning and push myself to continue to get through every day to TRY to make things better. Some days this is a trial, especially if it was another sleepless night. I have learned a lot, questioned my self-worth,changed my outlook on many aspects of life, and made some hard decisions. I look forward to the day that I our lives begin to make an upward progress toward being able to pay the bills and be a contributing member of society, in general, an unstressed life.
 
October 2, 2008, 5:54 pm CDT

Not alone

I would be very surprised if most everyone who watched the show couldn't relate in one way or another.  I kept thinking while the show was on that this one is a definite "do over", maybe several times.  My particular stresses began many years ago.  I won't go into all of the downward spirals but learning to cope with them (one at a time) has made me stronger today and these skills make it easier to get back on track.  I have learned many techniques through a Stress Reduction and Relaxation Program.  I've used the methods shown on the program except for the music and think I will definitely add that to my treasure chest of mood altering dynamics.  Viewers need to once again realize that this is not a fix all program but a step in the beginning process.  Deep breathing has always helped me as does eating properly (my hardest thing right now) and the scent of flowers reminds me I haven't done that for myself in a while.  I think that's one of the reasons I dislike winter so much is that I can't go outside and pick a bouquet to brighten the day.

 

When you are stressed with no coping skills, it seems there is no way out.  One skill opens a window a crack and some fresh air can come in.  This can lead to another and then another.  The work can be hard, but doing nothing is totally disabilitating.  I don't believe the world around us will be getting much better soon, so we are all in this together even though we may be on different stress levels.  Knowing you are not alone may bring you some comfort.  It does for me.

 
October 2, 2008, 8:13 pm CDT

overstressed/burntout/crisped

I can't do it I'm so stressed so tried in so much pain typing with one hand I have logged in many times spent hours thinking what I'm going to say then chicken out Sorry.
 
October 2, 2008, 8:15 pm CDT

Back issues

Quote From: littlemissyjen

maybe she hurts too much to work full time.  Have you ever though of that?  Don't be so quick to judge.  I have back problems and Fibromyalgia and CANNOT do physical labor.  I am in school for business.  I have to take pain pills.  Stress causes  pain.  I can handle it though. When I'm done with school, I will have a DESK JOB.
My son, being preemie is still on SSI/SSD and if it wasn't for that, I couldn't pay my portion of the household bills.  Yes my boyfriend lives here and yes SSI knows...but since we both share the expenses, and we are not married, it is still ok.  I want to work part time...but I am scared to death that I will flunk out of school which is an accelerated program.  I have so much extra homework outside of full time school...I have no time for work yet.; not that I could find a job in the first place.  That is why I'm in school.
Until you walk in her life, don't bash on her.  Some people NEED the help.

I too have back issues and let me tell ya, which you probably already know, the pain is not only just physical. The fact that there is so dang much that I want to do but cant is really painful emotionaly.

I was in a serious car accident when i was a young woman, I flew 40 feet in the air and when i landed i was in the fetal position, needless to say the paramedics thought i was dead. Man did they ever get a shock when i regained concience long enough to ask if the drive was ok, I dont recall if i heard their answer or not, but the fact that i was even able to do that speaks of a very strong willed person.

A day for me is sweep the floor, and do the dishes, feed my animals, and go into the house and take my pain pills, because i over did it. If i really get ambitious and try to clean my whole house like vacum do laundry, sweep and mop the floor, and feed my animals im going to pay for it for three or four days, with extreem pain.

I put my self through school, you know what sitting in a set for more than a couple hours does to me? When I get up I can hardly walk, probably the only reason I do walk is cause I want to, and like I said I am extreemly strong willed lol. However after a few years i was not able to continue working in that setting, and there is very little else i can do. So that is why i got into looking after animals to try and generate extra income to help my hubby with the bills.

My doc said my pain thresh hold is unbelivable, since I do not like pills, I only take them if I can't handle the pain, and i need some sleep.

I have  arthritis in my feet and knees, since i was in little, and it was never treated since my mom said suck it up and deal with it, so I guess I learned over the years to endure pain.

Any way, my point is, not every one is going to be able to do what i did, or handle things the way I have, but i certainly can empathize with their pain, both emotionaly and physicaly. I have to be honest there are days when the pain is so bad, I say to my self I can not live like this, and really mean it. Thankfully, i have my hubby and strong will to keep me going, and most of all my faith that God wont give me more than i can handle, just wish sometimes he didnt think I can handle so much =(.

For the woman that is dealing with all these stress's, know that you are not alone and their are many many people dealing with issues very similar to yours. As for working part time, if at all possible please continue to do that! Outside contact is so very important! I don't grt much outside contact any more since a couple hour drive is going to hurt me, so when i do make it to a freinds or relatives house, they are totally happy lol, since they know what it cost me to get there.

Any way feeling twinges so gonna sign off now Good luck and God bless you!

Tammy

 

 
October 2, 2008, 8:24 pm CDT

always someone worse off then you

I have been on my own since I was 15. Had 2 alcoholic parents and seen things one child should never see.. I was told I would never make it through college by my high school guidence councellor ---- to this day that only one in my family with a college degree.... I am a single mother of one and found my true love... Two years later he threw me across a room in front of my little one... I started constantly getting headaches and my hands would shake.. One day I passed out---flat out!  Doctors began to test my heart... went through MANY tests to see what was going on w/ my heart.. NEVER did I know that stress could have done all of that-->almost seizure like activity shaking, can't breath, can't feel my hands.........twice I was rushed to the hospital for oxygen... and it was ALL stress related...

So...............did I get rid of all stress in my life? Nope, wouldn't that be lovely... I"m a single mom of a 5 year old.. our dog just died one month ago from bloat and I am not sure how I am going to fill my old tank this winter... BUT nothing is worth getting that stressed over that I would go to the er... There is ALWAYS someone that has it worse off then you.... you might not have everything you want or sure you'd like things a bit easier (trust me I say give me a break someone quite often).....

I am pretty much a healthy woman , have a healthy 5 year old... and I have some money....are we going to possibly share a bedroom this winter to conserve heat----yup... am I going to stress over it??? No.....If I made it through my childhood I can make it through now....

There are always things in life that are going to be unfair and make us want to curl up into a ball and say "I'm done"..................even if it's just smelling flowers---you must find something to get you through it...

Now don't I sound just about stress-free??? I just do mantras as well............"I've gone through worse, others have it worse, I can survive this.".......

I hope all of my blabbing made someone relate...........

"it can't rain all the time".

 
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