Topic : 10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

I am grateful that my man's ex wife is a wonderful lady and wonderful mother to their kids.  He isn't actually their bio dad, but he raised them 7 years and does way more for them than their bio dad does.  This is one of the reasons I love him so much. He has the biggest heart.  I love those kids like they are mine as well.  We have an interesting and loving blended family.  Though we have none of our own because we can't afford it right now. Yes I am on Medi-cal...and only medi-cal.  I was planning on going off of it when I was working but then got fired :(
My man's ex and I agree that it is best for the kids for us to be friends...which isn't hard because we have lots in common and help each other when we need to talk about what bothers us..whether it be work, family, kids, or even..comparing if my man ever told her last minute he didn't have clean work clothes lol.
For some reason I am always great friends w/my ex's and current's exes.  I don't know why that is. There are kids involved and they are the most important in this whole big picture.  I have made 4 wonderful female friends due to my ex's and my current man.  I couldn't feel more blessed.

I cant believe what I am reading!  First and for most you need to take care of yourself and your family if your not willing to help yourself and try there isn't going to be anyone willing to help you. 

I have 4 bulging and 2 herniated disks in my back and neck I also have nerve damage to the left side of my body from a near fatal car accident I was in , in Dec 1999.  I also gave birth to my premature daughter at 24 weeks she was 2 lbs. By the grace of god we made it through that.  I have always been a single parent I have never got child support for my child nor have I ever received any kind of welfare .  I have always worked and i have always made sure that my daughter was taken care of and that we had all we needed .  I have worked all kinds of jobs from cleaning houses to bar tending. I do what ever it takes to make sure that we have what we need and i have never asked for hand outs .

 

I know what pain is i am in it everyday of my life and i deal with it. My doctor told me after the accident happened that i should file for SSD because he felt I wasn't able to work any longer . I was 20 and i had a baby to take care of .  I couldn't give up and do that .  OMG ....... I guess what it all boils down to is if you have any pride at all and you truly love your kids and family you will do whatever it takes . I'm a very prideful person and i wouldn't allow myself to go down that path and allow my daughter to live like that in low income housing or in some cockroach motel apartment building or a run down dump. I think more of myself and my daughter and my family than to do  that or live that way.  So get a grip and go out and find another job and work. If you can work part time you can work full time and you will make more money working full time than what your going to  get on SSD/ or SSI and your family wont be going with out and your kids will respect you more for doing what it takes and enduring the pain so that they can have and they aren't going with out .  Think of your kids.  WHEN you hurt think about your kids and why you push yourself to do what you do.  Do it for them ..........   

 

 

You have no time for work yet, so we should pay you????? Please, why do the weak get a pitty party, there are many out there that work and go to school, My hubby was one of them, working full time 6 days a week and still held a 3.8 to a 4.0, if you have someone living in your home that we the people help you pay for is wrong, why are we paying for him to live with you????? is he the father of this child??? if so why isn't he taking care of this child??????? if he is not the father where is the father??? why isn't he taking care of his child????

 

Seems to me like you and your boyfriend benifit more then the child does from the childs SSI/SSD

I am the primary responsible person for my mom who has stroke related dementia, as well as my aunt who has alzheimer's disease. Mom is in an assisted living facility while auntie is in a nursing home so I am very fortunate in that I don't have them at home. I tried caring for mom at home and after 6 months could no longer deal with her. My dad died 12 yrs. ago. My sister died 8 years ago. My aunt had no children. I am the only one to help them. Mom has never gotten over the deaths. She is always miserable. She constantly complains about the facility. She hated her previous retirement home as well. She has always been very needy. When she was able to do things for her self she chose not too. I have handled all of her concerns for 12 yrs. I took over my aunts affairs 3 years ago. These types of places need constant monitoring to provide quality care. I am often having to fight complain to get the necessary services. Mom seems to need something (meds, personal items, laundry snacks) on a daily basis. No amount of time given her seems to be enough. I constantly feel guilty that I am not doing enough. Particularly for my aunt. (Mom is jealous of my visits to auntie). I fear the phone as it may be mom wanting something or a call from the nursing home that auntie has fallen which happens frequently. I don't sleep well. I stess eat. I get short with my partner ( who has a knack for tuning mom out). I sometimes feel overwhelmed and wish one of us would cross over. Neither mom nor auntie have any quality of life and the situation has negatively impacted my quality of life. There has to be a better way.

Doctor Max Out Phil/Robin Stressed The To. I hope that Robin is not stressed out alot. See you on Thursd-

day October 02nd, 2008.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  

I am 19... I've been in college for a year now and I am taking time off this semester to re-group.

My mom turned into an alcoholic, abandoned me my senior year and only was there for me financially even though I had to work and go to school and miss out on some things my senior year that I could have been a part of if the situation was different. Then she got even worse and while I was working 2 jobs and going to school part time this last semester so I could work two jobs and help her out because she was taking care of her dying husband and spending money on hospital bills, alcohol, and cigarettes. Well this summer, she got plastered one night and kicked me out. I havent had a home for nearly 5 months now. I have lived with her ex-best friend, my best friend, my boyfriend, and now I am staying with her but I will probably be going back to her ex-best friend's house tonight actually for about a week until my boyfriend's parents get my room ready. Then I am moving to Arkansas for college in January. Now I am afraid that she will take my cell phone, laptop, wont let me use her info for a pell grant, wont help me financially, and when I get to college I will have to not only focus on school but getting a job and paying for things on my own and not getting to gradually break away from it. Thankfully my dad is paying my car insurance and the car is in my name but he cant really help me much financially because he lives down south and the hurricanes are causing major problems.

So I am worried about paying for college, paying for other necessities, being a college student, and having to work way more than I should have to because my mom has an alcohol problem and cant get grips on her life and is in the end punishing me for something she's done to herself.

 

Well that is my story... Any advice?

I just want to let people know how bad stress can take its toll. I was in a great marriage for over 24 years when all of a sudden it fell apart. After 7 years of trying to fix it and figuring out wether to leave or stay I had a heart attack at the age of 43. Well I knew it was all the stress I was under but couldnt belive what it had done to my body.So what did I do? I filed for divorce and moved out of my home with my son as soon as I could. I knew if I didnt I wouldnt be around much longer. So wake up people. Stress can kill....

 To everyone that is stressed out... I'm sorry and I know your pain. I know to get to the edge is always around the corner. I have lost my job after 15 yr due to the company close its doors, I lost my home, filed BK. I have three kids that I have always supported. My mother curently has 6-12 months max to live. I purchased a used 5th wheel to live in.  I'm still seeking employment. So, I know your pain and I know that we will get through this.

The tools I use to help cope are...Tell your self its OK to cry you are human. If you have kids hug them a lot and always keep them first in your life. Tell your self that you deserve nothing less then the best. When you have a bad day DONT take too much on that day . breath SLOW and put on music. 

We live in a country that we CAN become what ever we want to. It maybe a struggle to get there but keep doing the right thing. Its too easy to do the wrong thing and fall into a deeper hole. Keep your self always moving forward.

I will keep all of you in my prayers and I wish nothing but the very best to all!!!!

 You have a good head on your shoulders and you need to keep going to school. I would suggest you talk to the school counselor and get some advice. They maybe able to help you. Life is hard I know I could write a book about my life. All I know is that I will NOT let anyone take me from who I am as hard as it is you will be so grateful that you finished school and broke the cycle your Mom has left you to deal with. You are so much better then that I can feel it from reading your post.

Take care a good luck to you.