Message Boards

Topic : 10/14 Campus Crisis

Number of Replies: 134
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, October 10, 2008, 02:47:32 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Parents and college students, listen up! College campuses all across the country are dealing with issues relating to sexual assault, drinking deaths and hazing. Did you know that as many as one in four college women are victims of rape or attempted sexual assault? And that 84 percent of college men who committed rape said that what they did would not be defined as rape in their own minds? Know the safety tips and warning signs before you or your child is caught in a crisis. Dr. Phil’s first guest, Cynthia, is a mother in anguish over the loss of her daughter, 19-year-old freshman, Megan. Seven months after Megan was allegedly gang raped by at least three men in her dormitory, the student took her own life. Attorney Gloria Allred represents Cynthia in a civil lawsuit claiming that Dominican College failed to investigate Megan’s alleged attack in any meaningful way. Hear the bizarre and disturbing twist in this story. Then, meet another freshman who’s already had two frightening experiences in her first month of college that left her mother wanting to bring her home. Plus, learn what you can teach your teen before he or she heads off to college, and the top five safety tips all students need to know to protect themselves on campus. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

User Mood
Angry

Message Emote
blank
October 15, 2008, 12:35 am PDT

Go With Your Gut, Gals!

Today's episode reminded me of something that happened back when I was a freshman in college. I was working late nights as a member of the school's daily newspaper, which sometimes meant that I didn't return to my dorm until midnight. Around this time, we had a campus rapist who had attacked several women - including one that the guys from my brother fraternity had saved when they heard her screaming. To combat the problem, our school established a van system that would go around the campus and women could ride it for free to get back to their dorms. Quite ironically, the vans were called "Rape Vans".

As I said, I worked late, so a few days before Halloween I had to take one of the vans back to my dorm. When I got on the van, I immediately noticed that the driver was wearing one of those rubber Halloween masks and made a joke about it being a bit too early for the mask since the big day was several days away. He made no answer and remained silent for the trip - something most van drivers wouldn't have done, as they were usually dying for some conversation that late at night. That was worrisome points one and two. Then the guy kept looking up to watch me in the rear view mirror, and that was enough for me. I got off the van at the second dorm we stopped at, and I headed toward the dorm as fast as I could go, and he drove on. I went back to the van stop and rode the next van to my dorm.

About a week or two later, it was discovered that the rapist had apparently gotten a job driving one of the vans!!! The freak had actually gone and got a job doing what had been meant to stop him.

I don't believe he would have attacked me that night, as I had a "Fish'n Whacker" that a friend had given me years before as a joke gift - it was a small wooden bat with a steel rod down the middle of it, and I never went out at night without it. So obviously I had something on me that meant I had every intention of fighting back if anyone tried to assault me. Even so, I freaked out when I found out how close I might have been to being attacked.

My message to all young women out there is, GO WITH YOUR GUT, GALS! If you're getting a "weird" vibe about a guy, by all means turn and run. It's better to be safe than sorry in these cases, regardless of whether you think the guy is actually going to do something harmful to you or not. I thank God that I had that feeling that something was wrong, and I know I was in a situation that could have easily gone wrong if I hadn't gone with my fear and gotten off that van.

I feel so sorry for the young women and their parents who have had to overcome the damage some men have brought down on them, and I feel today's episode was a serious wake up call to young women in university settings - keep yourself safe, girls. Never walk alone, and NEVER, EVER ignore that gut feeling that something isn't right. The life you save might very well indeed your own.
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 15, 2008, 12:58 am PDT

Dominican College, Blauvelt NY

Dear Megan's family,

God bless you all.  No woman deserves this abuse and no family deserves this travesty.Please know that Megan's life was not wasted, when her spirit was shared across the USA today. Some woman will be saved by the air time given by the Dr. Phil show.

 

This crime can be blamed on: Dominican College of Blauvelt, NY, its Orangeburg Police Department, the Sisters of St. Dominic "Third Order", its President, its Board of Directors, the Archdiocese of New York, the Rockland County District Attorney, Governor George Pataki, Senator Morahan; and present and past employees of the college/home/orphan asylum and Nyack & Good Smaritan Hospitals, neighbors, and community who have kept thir own vows of silence.  Techincally, all of these people are co-conspirators to decades of crimes committed on these pastoral acres, and done nothing. Why? #1 MONEY, from NYS taxpapersfor the facilty's primary focus of emotionally disturbed children. #2 They do not want others to judge their hometown as the moral cesspool it is.

 

In 2005, WNBC-TV investigative reporter, Tim Minton, was contacted by past and present abused "inmates" and he aired his results and interviews with not only those who were abused by the nuns at this bucolic retreat, over a 60 year period, but witnesses to murder. Murderers in clergy's clothing.

 

Additionally, the Friendly Sisters of St. Dominic's have a history of "lost" and "missing" records! So, it just happens to be some fluke of fate that the security recording of the rape victim is now lost too?  What ever happened to the records of raped and pregnant girls from the 1970s? Oh, I forgot, the Dominicans denied they ever housed pregnant teens as the era moved away from institutions, and into group homes.

 

Will someone please open your eyes?  The Asylum of St Dominic was not a safe haven, so why would anyone believe that Dominican College, and the present day school for emotionally disturbed would be any safer.

 

Before accusations of digressing, the point is that IF Tim Minton's investigation had moved the political mountains toward THE ULTIMATE TRUTH about these generations of misfit abusing nuns, no Megan or her parents would have considered Dominican College a safe place.

 

I pray to God that Gloria Allred can blast the sins sky high to console the suffering, and let all the "black hats" get down on their knees begging forgiveness.

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 15, 2008, 1:00 am PDT

MEA CULPAS

There are no adequate apologies for criminal actions.
 
User Mood
Stressed

Message Emote
frustrated
October 15, 2008, 1:23 am PDT

Know What You Are Talking About

Quote From: hurtdad54

I feel bad for the girl but Dr. Phil failed to inform the mother that her daughter did NOT take her own life due to the rape. She must have had other problems. Lost of a loved one or problems with family members. Dr. Phil along with all sociologist/ psychologist will tell you that the rape was not the true reason for the suicide. Sounds like her mother is directing the blame elsewhere.
Have you been raped? Do you know what goes through the mind of someone who has been raped? Do you have numbers of how many who are raped who end up killing themself or tried to?

You don't take a happy person who has no mental problems then they are raped and then they are depressed and such and say that rape was not the reason they killed themself. The depresson and such can also be the result of the rape in the first place. They go hand in hand.

I know very well that if I was raped, I would kill myself. Because to me, my life is over. Sure a lot of the girls raped are not virgins but that doesn't make any more awful. Being a virgin, who believes that the person who takes that away should Only be my husband on our wedding night because its the greatest gift you can give to your spouse. Because it shows, I made you wait so why would I cheat and such. And the fact that your having sex with every person that the person has had sex with is just a nasty thought in my mind. So to be raped and have that taken away from me, I would kill myself. They would have fully ruined my life.

So don't say that girl killing herself isn't a result of being gang raped. Its major factor. Surely there is a psychology of rape books out there.

Its the worst act that can be commited besides murder. It makes the person shamed of them self and who ever said why should the person should be ashamed? Are they suppose to feel okay? Are they suppose to feel great? No, they are going to feel ashamed because sex, for some that is, is only for someone they "care" about. I say "care" and for some considering sex no adays has no meaning to it. People have it because it feels good and they have nothing to do. People cheat and so on. If you want to cheat, don't get married. Don't ruin someone's life.

Rape ruins people's lives in many ways. I also know if I was raped, my love would kill who ever did it (if he gets there before my mom does). So if he goes to jail for killing my rapist, there isn't anyone there to stop me from killing myself.

Its sad that rapist don't go to jail for what they do. Thank you to who ever posted that Watch Dog webtsite. Went there to look at rapists. Sadly all I found was how many who prey on children that live around me. Of course keep in mind that those are only people who were caught. There are plenty more rapists out there who have never been caught.

I think I've read enough sad stories and sadly enough BS on this message board for one day.
 
User Mood
Depressed

Message Emote
blank
October 15, 2008, 6:42 am PDT

Having Your Rapist's Baby

Sarah Palin and other "limited government" liars like her want to use their laws to make all these young, rape victims give birth to their rapist's baby.  When I saw the unfortunate story about the young woman who committed suicide after she was gang-raped, I begin to think about how even more despondent she would have felt if she had gotten pregnant by one of the many men who raped her and then being forced by law to give birth to an unknown and violent tyrant's child.  Statistics say that about 5% of rapes result in pregnancy, and the statistic is even higher among college-aged women who are more likely to be attacked and are also more fertile.  PARENTS:  Would you like to be able to help your daughter recover and heal from a violent sexual assault by talking to her and her doctor and/or spiritual advisor or do you want Sarah Palin, Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, and Mike Huckabee to make the most important decisions that will affect your family's future forever?

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 15, 2008, 6:43 am PDT

Thank You

Quote From: aneresmoonieon

Have you been raped? Do you know what goes through the mind of someone who has been raped? Do you have numbers of how many who are raped who end up killing themself or tried to?

You don't take a happy person who has no mental problems then they are raped and then they are depressed and such and say that rape was not the reason they killed themself. The depresson and such can also be the result of the rape in the first place. They go hand in hand.

I know very well that if I was raped, I would kill myself. Because to me, my life is over. Sure a lot of the girls raped are not virgins but that doesn't make any more awful. Being a virgin, who believes that the person who takes that away should Only be my husband on our wedding night because its the greatest gift you can give to your spouse. Because it shows, I made you wait so why would I cheat and such. And the fact that your having sex with every person that the person has had sex with is just a nasty thought in my mind. So to be raped and have that taken away from me, I would kill myself. They would have fully ruined my life.

So don't say that girl killing herself isn't a result of being gang raped. Its major factor. Surely there is a psychology of rape books out there.

Its the worst act that can be commited besides murder. It makes the person shamed of them self and who ever said why should the person should be ashamed? Are they suppose to feel okay? Are they suppose to feel great? No, they are going to feel ashamed because sex, for some that is, is only for someone they "care" about. I say "care" and for some considering sex no adays has no meaning to it. People have it because it feels good and they have nothing to do. People cheat and so on. If you want to cheat, don't get married. Don't ruin someone's life.

Rape ruins people's lives in many ways. I also know if I was raped, my love would kill who ever did it (if he gets there before my mom does). So if he goes to jail for killing my rapist, there isn't anyone there to stop me from killing myself.

Its sad that rapist don't go to jail for what they do. Thank you to who ever posted that Watch Dog webtsite. Went there to look at rapists. Sadly all I found was how many who prey on children that live around me. Of course keep in mind that those are only people who were caught. There are plenty more rapists out there who have never been caught.

I think I've read enough sad stories and sadly enough BS on this message board for one day.
I really appreciate your words.  As far as I am concerned this whole topic on this board has been so off base.  As a victim of sexual assault in college and having had the same problems with the administration where I went to school just wanting to cover everything up, I am hating reading this board too. 

A mother and the rest of the family lost their daughter and sister, because of multiple sick perverted individuals who conspired together and is now being denied justice.  

People should be hear outraged about what happened.  People should be here demanding that they be brought to justice and the university be held accountable.  

Instead they are attacking rape and sexual assault victims, trying to deny factual statistics for there own selfish reasons, and judging victims.   No wonder there are so many parents whose children become rapists and sexual assaulters when they go off to college.  


 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 15, 2008, 8:07 am PDT

clarification

Quote From: KathySue

First of all, my heart goes out to the family of the girl who committed suicide after being allegedly gang-raped. 

 

Second, what did the girl mean when she told her friend, "I THINK I've been raped?"  This makes me think she was drinking at the time--NOT THAT THIS MAKES GETTING RAPED OK--but why wasn't drinking talked about as one safety precaution that students can take to prevent crimes.  Everything BUT drinking was mentioned and I think that was a mistake.

Just because someone expressed uncertainty as to whether or not they were raped, does not necessarily mean she'd been drinking.  Being raped is a difficult thing to accept, and many women don't want to believe that they have been raped or sexually assaulted in any way. Though mine was not a stranger rape or violent, it took me a few years to realize that as soon as I said no and he didn't stop, that it was assault.

 

  When I hear that the young lady said  she thought she'd been raped, it makes me think that she didn't want to commit to the fact that she'd been raped.  It takes a very very strong person to be able to immediately say "i've been raped". I'm not ruling out the possibility that she'd been drinking, but it isn't necessarily true, and in any case, she got raped, and she's dead now.  It doesn't matter how it happened at this point, and drinking was eventually mentioned as a major risk factor in all kinds of campus crimes.  There was no need to disrespect the young lady's memory by speculating as to whether or not she had been drinking.

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 15, 2008, 8:16 am PDT

10/14 Campus Crisis

Quote From: shmigelz

If you said the same guy came back 3 times, why didnt you just do the super simple thing and lost the door? Unless your lying to Dr. Phil about the truth and want 20 seconds of fame..

 

Seems almost to simple for me to do that no?

Honestly, I thought the same thing while watching the show.  I'm sure she wasn't lying about the incident, it seems like the kind of thing you couldn't make up if you tried, but I did wonder about locking the door.  I realize that she was a really nice girl who probably liked to leave her door unlocked when she was in the room so friends could drop by, and perhaps it was simply a lapse of judgement on her part that she didn't lock the door, or maybe there is more to it that we didn't hear about. In any case, I'm sure a locked door would probably just have delayed the inevitable with that guy.
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
blank
October 15, 2008, 9:09 am PDT

10/14 Campus Crisis

Quote From: jbkirk

First let me say the first story you had was heart wrenching and as mother who has lost a child, I know the pain that she is feeling and truly think the school was negligent.

As for the second child I am sorry but she likes the drama, welcome to college, both have one thing in common her.  It appears that she likes the attention and that she overreacts if you dont like what happens pick new friends. This was not a big deal, I am sure that she was in the middle of things liek drama queens tend to do. And Dr Phil get a grip

Really! You used the right word...child. If my daughter acts as immature as Megan 2 I will tell her to get her things together and come back to Jr. High! I wanted to barf at how she was eating up all the attention! "I call my Mom to tell her not to worry about a creep that hangs around my room" Too bad girls like this enjoy the drama until they get in way over their head!!!!
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
blank
October 15, 2008, 9:11 am PDT

10/14 Campus Crisis

Quote From: shmigelz

If you said the same guy came back 3 times, why didnt you just do the super simple thing and lost the door? Unless your lying to Dr. Phil about the truth and want 20 seconds of fame..

 

Seems almost to simple for me to do that no?

well then we couldn't call Mom and tell her not to worry...pathetic!

 
First | Prev | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Next | Last