Topic : 10/14 Campus Crisis

Okay, I have been going to college now for three years and here on this campus that the 2nd Meghan on the show has attended. Yes, she did not announce where she attended, but I have seen her on campus and I know the guy she is talking about. This post has nothing to do with the first Megan, and what happened to her was truly terrible and this is in no way to belittle anything about her or her story. This is soley to do with the 2nd girl. Why don't we listen to the guy's side of the story? No, most guys are not "sex crazed animals" that some believe them to be, and this guy is in no way in that category. What this Meghan failed to mention in her story is how they had met before and just so happened to end up at the same college, complete coincedence. So, what about when they were hanging out and she grabbed his phone to put her number in it herself? What about the time at 4 o'clock in the morning when SHE had gone down to HIS room, and not just once? She clearly had no problem with this guy acting weird, until she said he "owned her soul." Well, she didn't tell the part how she was passing out and he was nice enough, yes he was being NICE enough, to carry her back to the dorm and her bag as well out of concern in a friendly manner for her well being. He then made the comment, "It's like I own your soul or something," in a joking manner. No, I was not present when this happened, but she even made the comment today to one of his friends that "yes, he could have been joking." And don't say she said this out of concern that people would be mad at her for going on the Dr. Phil show for something like this. The next thing is that when he came down to her room, he had tried to call first and when she didn't answer the phone, he thought something might have been wrong and was just checking up on her. Now, for him coming in "unannounced and uninvited" she had let him into the room in the first place, no forceful entry by any means.

That is the side of the story that was not revealed by the girl claiming to get all this unwanted attention from the guy. This is not in reference to any other incident where yes, there are guys that do stalk girls or act nice to get close to them. I am not saying that things do not happen, even in plain sight or in dorm rooms. This is about the 2nd Meghan.

Well this makes so much sense because everyone knows that god gave men a penis and a brain and not enough blood to operate both at the same time. Men are completely at the mercy of bodily functions and we should seriously consider removing them from positions of power. I mean can you imagine what would happen if there was a pretty large chested girl standing in front of the BIG RED BUTTON and the poor unfortunate man with a woody leaned over for a better look... poof... MUSHROOM CLOUD. Of course it would be the pretty young things fault that earth was annihilated because she is after all a woman with boobies, and you know how hypnotizing they are. So every responsible woman out there if you love your men and the planet earth please get yourself a burqa! ;-)

You have some good advice on the self defense classes and not going anywhere alone with a guy, but I would advise not going anywhere with a guy until you know him very very well, you shouldn't have to agree to have sex just because you go somewhere with a man, date, or friend.  Men thinking that you owe it to them is selfish and irresponsible. Men who take it without permission is a felon!   What if it were your sister going off with someone she trusted then was molested or raped?  What if it were your daughter? 

Now using the same logic you have up there... if you are wearing tight pants or loose pants that show your boxers and it turns on some pervert, is it OK for him to rape you, just because you dressed in a way that excited him?  What about that guy in jail with you after you force yourself on one of those women you don't have respect for?  Is it OK for him to rape you because you put yourself in a place where you know it could happen? 

NO is NO, it doesn't matter if a woman is naked right in front of you.  If you don't have permission to have sex, vocal permission, then you haven't a right to talk her into it, force her into it or think she is there  for you to use in anyway.  Even if you bought dinner for her, paid to take her to the movies, you didn't buy her.  If you don't learn to respect all women, you will find yourself in trouble someday.

I take it that you got this information from the man himself.  I don't know either of them but it certainly seems unlikely that he would tell you he was stalking her or doing illegal things to her or even believe he is doing that himself.  She feels threatened, she needs to take care of it by turning it in to the cops.  If he is innocent or it has been blown out of proportion then he can fight it in court.  Remember she has to prove his guilt.

Now to prove my point I will tell you about a guy who was 36 and took a liking to my son who was 14 years old at the time.  I put a stop to him being around him by taking it to the law and getting restraining order on the man and going as far as putting a chins action on my son to keep him from going around him.  This guy to this day doesn't think he did anything wrong.  He wrote odd letters to my son, he bought him a jeep for his 16th birthday which he couldn't give him since he isn't allowed around him so he put a etching across the front window that says "In honor of Jordan" who is my son.  He told someone that he has a son named Jordan but his mother is such a b**** that he couldn't see him.  He bought a cell phone trying to get my son to keep in touch with him.  He doesn't think this is wrong, he didn't think anything of what he was doing including sending my father a bottle of expensive scotch and a letter asking that he talks to me so he can be around Jordan, my father sent it back.  You see, in his eyes, I am the bad one for keeping him away from someone he wants to be around.  He was about to be arrested for drug charges when he left town and didn't come back until my son was 18 and couldn't be forced to testify against him.  My son told him to get lost because by that time he realized why I was so concerned.  If a person has an obsession, he or she won't see her behavior as wrong, nor will he/she make it sound off to others when they are asked about it.

Actually the original writer is correct and they are wrong. The rape was the catalyst that provoked the rape but the real cause was her psyche that placed this act of violence at such a great significance to her that she could fall into a suicidal mindset. You are in act a contributer to that twisted way of thinking that in fact also contributes to much of th sexual violence in the world.

The fact is that rape is not the worst crime you can endure second only to murder unless you place such a high value on the matter that you make it so. And you forget that if you give it such great importance than it becomes just as important to someone who might not have the same reverence you have for it. For this reason rape is used in war to help to destroy an enemy by breaking the familial relationships in two when the woman is despoiled. Put in another perspective, if you don't place enormous value on a clear piece of carbon (diamond) then no one else will try to get more that you, try to take yours, or abuse thousands of  human beings to find new ones.

By giving a woman's sexual life such incredible mythical value than you can hardly be surprised that others with less respect for it will try to take it by hook or crook and that those that lose it will act stupidly and commit suicide. Be honest with yourself there is absolutely no rational reason to ill oneself just because you had sex against against your will.. Unlike many places in the world you will not be exiled from your family and society, you won't  shunned, you can still marry, you kids won't be harassed, you can still find a job.

All of the trauma, short of some generally minor physical discomfort, in most cases, is emotional and self imposed. Why is it that you think your life is over is the question you should be asking yourself. If you can recognize and accept this truth you will see that you are giving the act all of its significance and only at your expense. if you can one day reach the point of seeing rape as nothing more than the assault that it is then you will be less of a victim and will do the smart thing if you are raped and help ensure that the rapist is punished as is needed.

Your comment is written with the mindset that rapes happen to females age, lets say 14-28 or so who are drunk,  dressed  provacatively and are "flirty" in their behavior.  How, then, do you explain the rape of children who have no breasts or hips yet and are dressed in playclothes? They don't know what the word flirt means much less how to behave that way. or how about the older woman who is probably a widow. She is hardly dressed provacatively or  flirting for attention. How about the college girl who is home for the night in her pjs? She has taken her make up off, has her glasses on for studying  and her hair thrown up in a messy bun? Did you know that they too have been raped?  Say a woman is baking something for her child to take to school the next morning and it's gotten late. She discovers she is missing an ingredient. Shouldn't she be able to run to the store  even though it's late and dark to grab  something she needs without the fear of being attacked in the parking lot? Or is that her fault again?  Your view of rape is typical,sad and  narrow.  A womans dress, age and behavior has way less to do with rape than the males lack of control, sense of entitlement and base view of women.

  You say guys will screw anything that walks with boobs.  Does that make you proud to be one? What does that say about your gender?  Oh yeah that's just the way men are and we have to accept that. You are at the total mercy of your biology and completely helpless to control it. Thus the need for women to take self defense classes. What a sad state of affairs.