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Topic : 10/17 Hoarding Nightmare: The Aftermath

Number of Replies: 67
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Created on : Friday, October 10, 2008, 02:56:01 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Hoarding is a highly emotional issue that may seem horrifying to some, but for others, it’s a complicated and difficult struggle. When Nancy first appeared on the show, her home was so cluttered that her kids couldn’t get into their bedrooms, there were multiple refrigerators jammed with spoiled food, and she even had a second house that was uninhabitable because it was so chock full of junk. After canceling on 1-800-GOT-JUNK three times, Nancy finally allowed the cleaning crew to remove some of the mess. Find out why the experience was so traumatic for her. Then, Dr. Frank Lawlis, chairman of the Dr. Phil Advisory Board, and Dr. Steven Kanter, an expert on hoarding-related issues, have been working closely with Nancy. Has she made progress in overcoming her fears? Plus, Nancy says her boyfriend, Bob, has been drinking heavily and creating havoc in the household. You won't believe what Nancy and her friend, Randi, captured on video. And, don’t miss Dr. Phil’s surprise for Nancy!

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 12, 2008, 9:48 am CDT

My employer

My employer, who owns a bar/restaurant is a hoarder.  It is pathetic.  It has cost her good employees, who have left because of the crazy world it has created.  I realize this person has a serious mental/emotional problem.  She also has some serious health problems, which adds to the insanity.  There is food and junk everywhere, not to mention the filth.  I worry that she will make people sick at the restaurant.  I don't know what to do anymore.  My co-workers said "write to Dr. Phil....he knows the horrors of this situation".  What can we do?  She is a kind and generous person, but this problem will eventually kill her.  I know this will not end unless there is a big "wake up" call.  Help! 
 
October 12, 2008, 12:41 pm CDT

Doctor Phil Show.

After Doctor Hoarding Mare Math Night Phil The. Well Well Well here we go again another round of this----

story. See you on Friday October 17th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.----------------------------------

 
October 12, 2008, 2:21 pm CDT

here in Canada

Here in Canada hoarding is growing at a tremendous rate. I deliver for numerous furniture stores and when we reach the occupant the places that we go we hardly have room to move around let alone place their furniture they bought (bedroom set, livingroom set, etc) It is not just a US problem it is across the globe i do believe.

 

 
October 12, 2008, 9:28 pm CDT

Hooked on hoarding

I can't stop hoarding newspapers, magazines, catalogues, old Christmas, Birthday, etc. cards, out dated clothing ( it still fits) and many more things. I am going to a therapist once a week but it doesn't seem to be helping.

Has anyone out there cured themself and have any advice?

 
October 14, 2008, 10:57 am CDT

Neighbor Hoarding Nigthmare

I realize hoarding is a mental condition but my neighbor's hoarding has affected many people's lives.  The lady is an animal hoarder. I guess I always thought animal hoarders were lonely old ladies, but my neighbor is only in her early 40s.   Her house has paper taped over every window, plastic encloses her doors, patio, and door entrances, and still the smell overcomes you when you're outside. We've called the health board and they do nothing. They simply talk to her and she adds another layer of plastic over a door or window.   I live in what was a comfortable middle class neighborhood where everyone takes great pride in their houses and pristine yards, but their property values have plummeted. I am retired and disabled.   I really need to sell my house so I can move from a 2 story to a ranch type home, but cannot sell it.  People drive by and really like the house, but once they open their car door it's all over.  Something has to be done, but what?  It's not fair that I worked over 40 years and invested a good deal of money in my house to have one sick person destroy it's value.

 
October 15, 2008, 12:36 pm CDT

10/17 Hoarding Nightmare: The Aftermath

Quote From: devora

I realize hoarding is a mental condition but my neighbor's hoarding has affected many people's lives.  The lady is an animal hoarder. I guess I always thought animal hoarders were lonely old ladies, but my neighbor is only in her early 40s.   Her house has paper taped over every window, plastic encloses her doors, patio, and door entrances, and still the smell overcomes you when you're outside. We've called the health board and they do nothing. They simply talk to her and she adds another layer of plastic over a door or window.   I live in what was a comfortable middle class neighborhood where everyone takes great pride in their houses and pristine yards, but their property values have plummeted. I am retired and disabled.   I really need to sell my house so I can move from a 2 story to a ranch type home, but cannot sell it.  People drive by and really like the house, but once they open their car door it's all over.  Something has to be done, but what?  It's not fair that I worked over 40 years and invested a good deal of money in my house to have one sick person destroy it's value.

call your humane society instead.  They are trained to see problems around animals and having that dirty of a house means the animals are being neglected.  They will deal with it.
 
October 15, 2008, 12:39 pm CDT

10/17 Hoarding Nightmare: The Aftermath

Quote From: yvonneej

My employer, who owns a bar/restaurant is a hoarder.  It is pathetic.  It has cost her good employees, who have left because of the crazy world it has created.  I realize this person has a serious mental/emotional problem.  She also has some serious health problems, which adds to the insanity.  There is food and junk everywhere, not to mention the filth.  I worry that she will make people sick at the restaurant.  I don't know what to do anymore.  My co-workers said "write to Dr. Phil....he knows the horrors of this situation".  What can we do?  She is a kind and generous person, but this problem will eventually kill her.  I know this will not end unless there is a big "wake up" call.  Help! 
get a hold of the Health inspector.  I believe you can do it without leaving your name.  Give him certain things to check out like old food or dangerous areas that block exits... that could be the fire marshalls area.  I worked years in a restaurant and they will shut down somewhere that isn't kept up to code.  The restaurant I worked at was a good one with a great boss though.
 
October 17, 2008, 12:07 am CDT

What is the fear?

Quote From: elawson

I can't stop hoarding newspapers, magazines, catalogues, old Christmas, Birthday, etc. cards, out dated clothing ( it still fits) and many more things. I am going to a therapist once a week but it doesn't seem to be helping.

Has anyone out there cured themself and have any advice?

I've been working for a year with a therapist to overcome my depression and hoarding issues.  He had me examine my feelings:REALLY get in touch with them, when ever I went to get rid of something.  I also spent a LOT of time reflecting upon what it was about the magazines and books, newspapers, ect.. which made me want to accumulate them.  I thought it out this way.  Everything written in them was potentially something I was interested to find out, but realistically, I had no time to go through them.  At one point, I kept over ten years of old magazines.  I was finally forced to clear out that room of all contents, including tons of old mail.  I really got to a point where I realized that all the information in those publications was really OLD news!  If I needed to find it out, I could access the articles online or from any local ibrary microfiche.  That is IF I could remember something specific about them that I wanted to research.  So, I was very PROUD and felt good after I was finally able to toss them all!

 

Now, about those sentimental things, like old cards and letters:  I have ONE box filled with hand written letters from friends and family down through the years.  I have had one very special friend for over two decades whose missives I have  gathered all together in one box to save.  This took months of going through boxes filled with "important" and mundane and JUNK mail and old papers.  I brought myself up on an accountability issue regarding saving this stuff.  If what you are saving is so sacred to you, then it should be kept in a place where it can be found and made special.  NOT mixed in with the mundane and junk you can't seem to get to a garbage bin!  So, I made an effort to sort those things out pretty succesfully a few years ago. 

 

My journey was in stages... which I believe anyone's recovery from hoarding has to be.  It can't all be accomplished or "fixed" overnight.   A website I found also have given me some perspective on my problems and people like me.  It is called www.squalorsurvivors.com.  There is lots of valuable information as well as community support.  Check it out! 

 

So, I was forced from a government subsidized duplex I lived in for 15 1/2 yrs because of my and my ex husband's accumulation of junk.  We were essentially evicted, without all the legal proceeding.  I was able to find another subsidized apt in a high rise building for myself and my 4 children last summer, and moved there in late July.  I left tons of junk in basement of the duplex, mostly my ex's accumulation of crap.  The housing authority charged me over $1200. for clean-up and hauling 6 truck loads to the dump!  

 

I mid Sept, the manager at my new apt came in to inspect and went ballistic because I had not unpacked numerous boxes and had "so much stuff" in the apt.  I was told I had 10 days to vacate the unit.  She even went so far as to call the fire department who wrote up a code violation and the Department of Social Services who tried to charge me with child neglect.  After all that hassle and the risk of losing my kids, I realized what was MOST important to me.  I packed up the very bare minimum, stored in a 5 X 10 storage unit, which I didn't even FILL!  I walked away from everything else there.  A lifetime of accumulation, all the furniture, except my king size bed and just tons of ...... JUNK!   I didn't even save any dishes or kitchen goods. 

 

We rented a car from Enterprise and drove 1655 miles across country to start a new life in a new city and state.  My car broke down right before I was going to leave and I had to leave it behind too.  LET me tell you!  I have been SO happy since making this change!  I used to have so much anxiety around all that stuff, getting rid of it, what to do about it, facing eviction TWICE in one year because of it.... SO much trauma!   Now, I just feel free!  Sure there are things I think about, which I will never see again, but the reality is that I can always get more.  What is really most meaningful in our lives?   The junk which holds us hostage to high rents, or housing costs, or storage fees?   Or keeps us from family and friends, having so much chaos in our homes we are alienated from others?  Think about your priorities in your life.  And make your decisions about that stuff from there.

 

What ever your fear, trust that you can and will be fine without the junk in your trunk!  The things in your environment do NOT define WHO you are!   Don't let them hold you back from blessings and freedom either!

 

If I can do it, YOU CAN too!  Baby steps and one day at time.  Celebrate your small victories of daily recovery.  And take good care.

 

Much love,

R

 
October 17, 2008, 12:29 am CDT

What is the fear?

Quote From: elawson

I can't stop hoarding newspapers, magazines, catalogues, old Christmas, Birthday, etc. cards, out dated clothing ( it still fits) and many more things. I am going to a therapist once a week but it doesn't seem to be helping.

Has anyone out there cured themself and have any advice?

I've been working for a year with a therapist to overcome my depression and hoarding issues.  He had me examine my feelings:REALLY get in touch with them, when ever I went to get rid of something.  I also spent a LOT of time reflecting upon what it was about the magazines and books, newspapers, ect.. which made me want to accumulate them.  I thought it out this way.  Everything written in them was potentially something I was interested to find out, but realistically, I had no time to go through them.  At one point, I kept over ten years of old magazines.  I was finally forced to clear out that room of all contents, including tons of old mail.  I really got to a point where I realized that all the information in those publications was really OLD news!  If I needed to find it out, I could access the articles online or from any local ibrary microfiche.  That is IF I could remember something specific about them that I wanted to research.  So, I was very PROUD and felt good after I was finally able to toss them all!

 

Now, about those sentimental things, like old cards and letters:  I have ONE box filled with hand written letters from friends and family down through the years.  I have had one very special friend for over two decades whose missives I have  gathered all together in one box to save.  This took months of going through boxes filled with "important" and mundane and JUNK mail and old papers.  I brought myself up on an accountability issue regarding saving this stuff.  If what you are saving is so sacred to you, then it should be kept in a place where it can be found and made special.  NOT mixed in with the mundane and junk you can't seem to get to a garbage bin!  So, I made an effort to sort those things out pretty succesfully a few years ago. 

 

My journey was in stages... which I believe anyone's recovery from hoarding has to be.  It can't all be accomplished or "fixed" overnight.   A website I found also have given me some perspective on my problems and people like me.  It is called www.squalorsurvivors.com.  There is lots of valuable information as well as community support.  Check it out! 

 

So, I was forced from a government subsidized duplex I lived in for 15 1/2 yrs because of my and my ex husband's accumulation of junk.  We were essentially evicted, without all the legal proceeding.  I was able to find another subsidized apt in a high rise building for myself and my 4 children last summer, and moved there in late July.  I left tons of junk in basement of the duplex, mostly my ex's accumulation of crap.  The housing authority charged me over $1200. for clean-up and hauling 6 truck loads to the dump!  

 

I mid Sept, the manager at my new apt came in to inspect and went ballistic because I had not unpacked numerous boxes and had "so much stuff" in the apt.  I was told I had 10 days to vacate the unit.  She even went so far as to call the fire department who wrote up a code violation and the Department of Social Services who tried to charge me with child neglect.  After all that hassle and the risk of losing my kids, I realized what was MOST important to me.  I packed up the very bare minimum, stored in a 5 X 10 storage unit, which I didn't even FILL!  I walked away from everything else there.  A lifetime of accumulation, all the furniture, except my king size bed and just tons of ...... JUNK!   I didn't even save any dishes or kitchen goods. 

 

We rented a car from Enterprise and drove 1655 miles across country to start a new life in a new city and state.  My car broke down right before I was going to leave and I had to leave it behind too.  LET me tell you!  I have been SO happy since making this change!  I used to have so much anxiety around all that stuff, getting rid of it, what to do about it, facing eviction TWICE in one year because of it.... SO much trauma!   Now, I just feel free!  Sure there are things I think about, which I will never see again, but the reality is that I can always get more.  What is really most meaningful in our lives?   The junk which holds us hostage to high rents, or housing costs, or storage fees?   Or keeps us from family and friends, having so much chaos in our homes we are alienated from others?  Think about your priorities in your life.  And make your decisions about that stuff from there.

 

What ever your fear, trust that you can and will be fine without the junk in your trunk!  The things in your environment do NOT define WHO you are!   Don't let them hold you back from blessings and freedom either!

 

If I can do it, YOU CAN too!  Baby steps and one day at time.  Celebrate your small victories of daily recovery.  And take good care.

 

Much love,

R

 
October 17, 2008, 8:10 am CDT

Nancy's Courage and Smiles say EVERYTHING!

     AWESOME SHOW TODAY, DOC PHIL!  NANCY HAS MADE GREAT PROGRESS...AND IT SHOWS IN HER SMILE.  KEEP PURGING NANCY!!!  YOUR KIDS ARE HAPPIER AND YOU ARE HAPPIER.  BY DOING THIS SHOW...AND CONFRONTING UR ANXIETIES...YOU HAVE PUT YOURSELF AND UR FAMILY ON THE RIGHT TRACK IN LIFE.  I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW HAPPY MY HEART IS FOR YOU, IT'S OVERFLOWING. :)  ALSO, YOU HAVE HELPED MANY OTHER HOARDERS, AND THERE ARE A LOTTTT OUT THERE, CONSIDER AND HOPEFULLY DECIDE TO TAKE ACTION AND PURGE ALSO, SO THEY CAN LIVE A BETTER LIFE AND EXISTENCE!  YOUR KIDS HAPPINESS MEANS WAY MORE THAN ALL THE ITEMS IN YOUR HOME.  YOU ARE BLESSED TO HAVE TERRIFIC CHILDREN THAT LOVE YOU SOOOO SOOO MUCH.  TAKE CARE, KEEP CLEANING OUT THE STUFF AND COBWEBS...AND YOU WILL FURTHER CLEAN OUT THE 'COBWEBS' IN YOUR LIFE!!!  A PERSONS HOME, REFLECTS HOW THEY FEEL INSIDE.  (((hugs))) GIRL!!!  LOVE THAT SMILE AND LAUGH!!   I'M ROOT'IN FOR YA~ ANNE FROM MI
 
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