Quote From: drd1200I am an outsider to the hoarding issue in my family, my mother is an extreme hoarder and it is affecting her health, her lifestyle, my 11 yr old Neice (custodial gardian), and my handicap sister. they all live in a 3 bed room ranch style home that has failing plumbing, smoking electricity, carpet that is over 30 years old, but you cant see it anyway. they have 2 dogs in the house, an unfinished basement that is wall to wall, floor to ceiling packed full of stuff. back in the 1960's& 1970's my grandfather was a Kirby salesman, to this day there over 30 never used kerby parts in the basement of this house, my grandmother died almost 15 yrs ago, and her clothes are still in the basement. my Mom collects magazines, never opens her mail, goes shopping everyday for something. up until 3 years ago there was no attic access so my boyfriend put one in for her. he and i added insulation and plywood, before we could finish the plywood, Mom had stuffed the attic full of stuff. she is a collector of Barbies, well over 300 of them, she is a collector of empty cardbord boxes to store her stuff in. the kitchen... well where do i start, the oven and stove have not worked in over 10 yrs, so the oven is a Medicine cabinet the door wide open with meds every where. there is no open counter space the dining room table is literally stacked 3 ft high with papers, magazines, mail, old phone books. my Neice is almost 12yrs old she is an extreme ADHD child that is on multiple meds at multiple times per day, i feel that someday she is going to take the wrong meds cause she just grabs a bottle that is close, she could easily harm herself or a friend... because lets face it Kids will be Kids and they will try darn near anything. My sister has fallen ill and moved into my mothers for physical help, her failing eyesight worries me that she might fall during the day while she's home alone, and the parimedics wont be able to get to her in time because of the conditions of this house. i am concerned for their health and well being, i am at the end of my rope, do i call children's services or the health department, which both will tear my family apart and I will loose my mother for good. I can't by any means take care of them myself, I have tried many times to rid the clutter from the house, however now it is bigger than I am and i feel defeated, I am so over whelmed that I will not enter the house anymore.
Hi! I don't know if you've read my posts, but I'm in the middle of cleaning up my mothers house, which is very similar to your mom's home, from your description. The very hardest part is getting the hoarder to recognize the problem. My Mom still hasn't, but the house is getting cleaned and fixed anyway, because of a rodent problem and intervention from local authorities.
What concerned me most about your post was the smoking electrical system. This is a clear danger to the lives of anyone living in the house. While the adults in the household are choosing to live under these conditions, your niece has no choice. I would say you should intervene however necessary to create a safer living arrangement for her. If you can't bring yourself to utilize the appropriate authorities to get things done, and you can't persuade her to clean it out and have it rewired herself, please at least make sure there are working smoke detectors, and a fire escape plan in place for your niece.
If you do notify the authorities, have a plan in place to get the place cleaned out and fixed up pretty quickly, in case you need to. Right now, i'm working with my mom at a pace she can tolerate (pretty slow), while she works with a therapist. Next week, a county official will come into her home to inspect the plumbing repairs, and could say the home is uninhabitable, and she has to move out while it is cleaned out. I'm working hard to ensure the part of the home he will see is presentable, so that won't happen. she says she will go live in the dog kennel if she has to, but she's not leaving the property! I have some people at her church on standby, in case I have to clean it out fast.
Do you or your mom belong to a church? If so, they may be able to help. i found an organization called "Christmas in April" here in MD, who helped us with the cost of some of the repairs. you should also look into getting your mom into therapy, or she'll just fill it back up when you're done.
I found the person in charge of our local Health Dept. to be very knowledgable about hoarding and very sympathetic, and helpful.
When hoarding began to come up on Oprah and Dr. Phil, I paid attention and bought the recommended books as they came out. Buried in Treasures by Dr Tolin would be good for both your mom and yourself to read. Drs. Steketee and Frost wrote a therapist guide to Compulsive Hoarding and Aquiring that you might find helpful. You may also find it's good for laughs-there are sample conversations between therapists and patients. I guess ideally, that is how the conversations would go, but if i ever witnessed the same conversation happen between my mom and her therapist, you would have to pick me up off of the floor!
I think the book assumes the patient has recognized the problem, and is seeking help on their own. Dr. Lawlis wrote a book called Transpersonal medicine, which I'm reading now. I can't really relate it to my mom's situation well, but it does seem to help me find the patience to work with her.
Whether you decide to report the situation, or not, I'd start looking into these things now, because eventually something will give (and hopefully it won't be that the house burns down) and you'll be able to swoop in and make things happen for them fast, so they won't all end up homeless.
Wondering what State you're in? I'm in Maryland, and would be willing to help personally if you're nearby. Of course, i've got my hands very full with my mom's right now.
Hoarding is a highly emotional issue that may seem horrifying to some, but for others, it’s a complicated and difficult struggle. When Nancy first appeared on the show, her home was so cluttered that her kids couldn’t get into their bedrooms, there were multiple refrigerators jammed with spoiled food, and she even had a second house that was uninhabitable because it was so chock full of junk. After canceling on 1-800-GOT-JUNK three times, Nancy finally allowed the cleaning crew to remove some of the mess. Find out why the experience was so traumatic for her. Then, Dr. Frank Lawlis, chairman of the Dr. Phil Advisory Board, and Dr. Steven Kanter, an expert on hoarding-related issues, have been working closely with Nancy. Has she made progress in overcoming her fears? Plus, Nancy says her boyfriend, Bob, has been drinking heavily and creating havoc in the household. You won't believe what Nancy and her friend, Randi, captured on video. And, don’t miss Dr. Phil’s surprise for Nancy!
