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Topic : 10/28 Cyber Bullying

Number of Replies: 132
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, October 24, 2008, 02:49:53 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Bullies love an audience, and there’s no bigger playground than the World Wide Web. Cyber bullies create vulgar MySpace posts to taunt others, or send harassing text messages and threatening e-mails. Dr. Phil tackles this topic head on with his son, Jay, whose new book, Jay McGraw’s Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies, offers action-oriented plans. Jay recently sat down with a group of teens to get their perspective on cyber bullying -- and they didn’t hold back! Learn what concerns the students the most. Next, 17-year-old Austyn says a close friend turned on her, hacked into her MySpace account and reformatted the page to say that Austyn is a " slut," a “sag” and a “butter face.”  Austyn says she now has a bad reputation at school and shows Dr. Phil producers a typical day in her life. What can the teen do to empower herself? Steve DeWarns, a police officer and founder of Internetchildsafety.net, explains when cyber bullying becomes a crime. Then, is your child capable of intimidating other kids? Jay gives the Dos and Don’ts of reacting to a bully. Plus, meet a teen who fears his future may be ruined after a fake MySpace page was created in his name, and a mother who says her 15-year-old son was bullied to death. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 28, 2008, 9:22 pm CDT

WE DON'T TEACH OUR KIDS

I'M SEVENTY THREE YEARS OLD AND I REMEMBER MY MOTHER TEACHING ME FROM THE TIME I WAS 3 O4 4 YEARS OLD TO BE KIND TO OTHERS NOT TO MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE FOR ANY REASON.  I TAUGHT MY CHILDREN THE SAME THING BUT MANY PARENTS DON'T DO THAT . THEY SAY MY KID WOULDN'T DO THAT, OR JUST IGNORE THE FACT THAT THEIR CHILD DID SOMETHING WRONG.   THEY DON'T REALIZE THAT EACH TIME THEY LET THEM GET BY WITH THINGS WITH OUT EVEN CHECKING IT OUT THEY'RE ACTUALLY HURTING THEIR CHILDREN.  AND UNDOUBTABLY SOME OF THEM DID THE SAME THINGS.. THEY DON'T REALIZE THAT WHEN YOU DO THE WRONG THINGS YOUR HURTING YOURSELF MORE THAN YOU HURT OTHERS.

 

I'VE LIVED A VERY PEACEFUL AND HAPPY LIFE BECAUSE MY MOTHER RAISED ME TO BE KIND TO OTHERS.

 
October 28, 2008, 9:30 pm CDT

Bullies

Thank-you for making it so easy to write our representatives.  I copied, cut and pasted the letter you provided to our state senators via the Internet. 

 

Our grandson who has Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism, has been bullied all throughout elementary school, middle school and now high school.  This school year he reported to a teacher that another student had threatened to kill his family.  The teacher went to the administration and the offender was suspended for 3 days.  When he returned to school he apologized to our grandson. 

 

I hope the offender receives some help and intervention besides the punative measure that were taken.

 

Again, thank-you to Dr. Phil and Jay for working to change policies, behavior and teach a better way.

 
October 28, 2008, 9:40 pm CDT

10/28 Cyber Bullying

Quote From: lyndabrix

 Who are the bullies?  I was a Bully in Junior High and High School and what did I have to deal with.  I think that this is the  area to stop the bulling.  I was mentally, pysically, and sexully abused and I found my power at school.  So lets have a look at the parents that are bringing up these bullies because in my case I did not have the support from parent who believed in me and found it else were. This age is a very hard time for all of us male or female and at this age it is important to be excepted by the follow age group.

Lynda

Dear Lynda,

 

I'm sorry to hear of the abuse you suffered.  I'm guessing you are now out of high school.  I hope you have found others in your life who are better role models.  There are resources 'out there' to help you deal with the effects of the abuse you suffered.   I wonder if you have post traumatic stress disorder? 

 

Your behavior in school was a direct result of being powerless at home.  First forgive yourself for bullying others in school.  You now know where that came from.  Now, love yourself and fill your life with people who are positive and kind. 

 

Life is meant to be joyful and that is what I wish for you.

 

Bless your heart,

 

Kathi G.

 
October 28, 2008, 10:07 pm CDT

I posted

Quote From: lyndabrix

 Who are the bullies?  I was a Bully in Junior High and High School and what did I have to deal with.  I think that this is the  area to stop the bulling.  I was mentally, pysically, and sexully abused and I found my power at school.  So lets have a look at the parents that are bringing up these bullies because in my case I did not have the support from parent who believed in me and found it else were. This age is a very hard time for all of us male or female and at this age it is important to be excepted by the follow age group.

Lynda

I posted on the other board and what you are saying is exactly what I was trying to convay about bullies.

That it is not a behavior issue, but goes far deeper than that. Thank you so much for coming forward and sharing this with us, as it is very important!

I hate to repost what I wrote on the other board, but will post a few key points that I tried to make.

First, as stated, bullying is not a behavioral issue, there for dealing with the behavior is not going to correct the problem! Punishing a bully is not going to work, getting to the root of the issue and dealing with it will!

Bullying, is a sign of distress, and could mean many things, some of which you already mentioned, a few others are mental illness, mob mentality, addictions, transferance, which is what you are describing, albeit breifly, the list goes on.

My main point was, we as responsable adults need to stop using band aides, and start the healing process of what ever is wounding these children that choose to bully for what ever reason!

Come on!

I was a target of bullys, and also was a victim of physical, sexual, mental, emotianal and spiritual abuse. Right up to the ripe old age of 26, when I finally began a healing journey.

Being bullied at school, and abused at home, HURT! I do not blame you hun, i actually understand you, because in all honesty there is a very fine line between being a victim and being a abuser, crossing that line happens, and it happens a lot.

Our youth of today and yesterday and not yelling, They are Bloody Screaming!

Untill we start listening and investigating and dealing with the real issues, incidents of bullying is going to get more and more deadly.

Lynda, I am sending you a healing hug, not only for you but for myself, this issue is painful for me, and I am going to take a educated guess that it is painful for you too!

HUGS

Tammy

 

 

 
October 28, 2008, 11:46 pm CDT

bullying period

We need to be more aware of whats going on in our schools.My son ,14 yr old was being bullied everyday at school. The principal said he was just too sensitive.It became a problem where he did not want to go .I was unaware of any problems,because he always said "I'm ok.He started asking to be homeschooled, because he did'nt feel well. The principal kept saying we need him here etc.Well, last spring he jumped out of my car going 55 miles an hour ,because he didn't want to go .I took him home ,he then put a belt around his neck and tried to hang himself.He then told the counselor that he would shoot himself in the head ,because no one liked the way he looked.How awful for him to feel that way. We are now homeschooling and he is a much happier kid. The school however,not happy that he's not going there sent childrens services after us for neglect.Who neglected who?It was a very humbling experience.
 
October 29, 2008, 12:55 am CDT

10/28 Cyber Bullying

Its to bad that kids can't go to school with out worrying about being bullied. And the ones that bully most likely have problems with themselves or at home, and their way to forget about it, is to make fun of other kids. I feel so bad for those kids that go to school and out in public and get harassed. As for as the cyber part goes there's always going to be someone out there thats ruins the fun. Myspace, facebook and other community based websites, are there for fun and keep in touch of friends and family members. The show today showed us that there could be a web page about any of us out there.  Am sure it is hard for parents to keep up with what their kids are doing on the Internet, so parents should just make sure that their kids know what can happen on the web.
 
October 29, 2008, 1:53 am CDT

Will bullying ever stop? I'm 32 and still being bullied.

I was bullied all through school, I felt that I had dealt with it just fine, and have no reaction to looking back on what was done. That was me tho. So many kids in the past, present and sadly the future have not, are not and will not take it so easily, it's so wrong that someone has to deal with it at all. Dr. Phil is so right, I have felt the same way for so long, cyberbullies are spineless cowards. I am the youngest of 4 kids, and I am 32. I can tell u, cyberbullying is not just for school kids. Some of my own family members cyberbully me, and get their 30+ yr old friends to join in. They can't hide from me knowing who they are, but why do it? Too me, they and all bullies, cyber or not, just make themselves look like complete idiots by picking on someone. Just recently I has some pictures of my car on facebook for sale, a friend of one of the family bullies took it upon herself to comment on these pictures that I had been rear ended and it was so bad I had whiplash. I had never met this person in my life, but she was friends with a sister who decided one day to hate me and do anything she could to try to make me miserable. it got to the point that I had to involve the police, just to try to put a stop to it all. It's been just over a month, and I am waiting for what she is going to pull next, I shouldn't have to even worry about my own sister causing trouble, it's just not right. This has been going on for years, she had called my boss and said she was another sister, when that didn't fly, she just screamed at my boss saying she was a f*ing moron for hiring me. She even called the Government and told them I had never been married, and never had children, which in turn got me cut off of family allowance (a Canadian Government cheque issued monthly to parents with children under 18). I spent 5 months sending weekly Dr.s notes, teachers notes, dentist notes, etc just to prove I had children. Her reason for doing this, as far as I could tell was b/c I had kicked someone out of my house when I found out he was selling drugs. She sent a friends request on facebook recently, and I messaged her asking if I could trust her, I felt I had the right to ask. She called me immature and basically said I can't let go of the past. Well the past isn't the past if u are still doing this right? I just want everyone to know that any bully is just a coward, not only cyber bullies, all of them. I am so so very sorry to the kids going through all this, and to all the parents who lost children b/c of this. I have a saying I hope will help anyone effected by this..."To give up, is to hand your power to the one who has caused you so much pain. To stand up and fight, is to take back that power.To survive is to win. Take back the power, take back your life".
 
October 29, 2008, 6:26 am CDT

Be Strong

Why do people read what people write about them? Keep your social network private. Keep your passwords difficult. If someone enters uninvited block them. If it keeps happening make a new site. I have had msn for ten years and I have never had a message from anyone I didn't know or want to know. If someone ticks me off, I delete and block them. If someone calls you and starts to say bad things hang up. You are under no obligation to listen. Do not engage. People that bully are weak and have emotional problems. Why would anyone allow inferior personalities to impose their will? Just because some Neanderthal grunts something doesn't make it true. You have to be strong when people are being monsters. You have to do everything you can to remove yourself from the situation. Change schools, emails, phone numbers, always go private on facebook, and the like, and dump anyone that does not respect your private information. If it gets physical call the police and make a report. Take a self defense class. Change your habits. Record who says what and when. Keep talking until someone listens. No computers in bedrooms. Put spy programming on the computer if your child seems different. Do not back down from protecting yourself or your family.
 
October 29, 2008, 6:30 am CDT

10/28 Cyber Bullying

Quote From: egryeyes

I was bullied all through school, I felt that I had dealt with it just fine, and have no reaction to looking back on what was done. That was me tho. So many kids in the past, present and sadly the future have not, are not and will not take it so easily, it's so wrong that someone has to deal with it at all. Dr. Phil is so right, I have felt the same way for so long, cyberbullies are spineless cowards. I am the youngest of 4 kids, and I am 32. I can tell u, cyberbullying is not just for school kids. Some of my own family members cyberbully me, and get their 30+ yr old friends to join in. They can't hide from me knowing who they are, but why do it? Too me, they and all bullies, cyber or not, just make themselves look like complete idiots by picking on someone. Just recently I has some pictures of my car on facebook for sale, a friend of one of the family bullies took it upon herself to comment on these pictures that I had been rear ended and it was so bad I had whiplash. I had never met this person in my life, but she was friends with a sister who decided one day to hate me and do anything she could to try to make me miserable. it got to the point that I had to involve the police, just to try to put a stop to it all. It's been just over a month, and I am waiting for what she is going to pull next, I shouldn't have to even worry about my own sister causing trouble, it's just not right. This has been going on for years, she had called my boss and said she was another sister, when that didn't fly, she just screamed at my boss saying she was a f*ing moron for hiring me. She even called the Government and told them I had never been married, and never had children, which in turn got me cut off of family allowance (a Canadian Government cheque issued monthly to parents with children under 18). I spent 5 months sending weekly Dr.s notes, teachers notes, dentist notes, etc just to prove I had children. Her reason for doing this, as far as I could tell was b/c I had kicked someone out of my house when I found out he was selling drugs. She sent a friends request on facebook recently, and I messaged her asking if I could trust her, I felt I had the right to ask. She called me immature and basically said I can't let go of the past. Well the past isn't the past if u are still doing this right? I just want everyone to know that any bully is just a coward, not only cyber bullies, all of them. I am so so very sorry to the kids going through all this, and to all the parents who lost children b/c of this. I have a saying I hope will help anyone effected by this..."To give up, is to hand your power to the one who has caused you so much pain. To stand up and fight, is to take back that power.To survive is to win. Take back the power, take back your life".
You cannot just call the government and have someone's taxes changed. They have access to all your records including marriage and birth certificates.
 
October 29, 2008, 6:53 am CDT

The Bridge to Somewhere and Internet Safety

"Hello my name is Sarah
I want to talk to you about a matter of national importance:
The Internet
The Internet is like a bridge to nowhere
There are bad folks out there trying to prey on our kids. If it's up to me I'd field dress every one of them.
I've taken on the big companies, and told them to filter. They're like oil on an ear of corn, real slippery and you just have to show them who is top dog and clean up their mess.
There are more bad folks out there on the Internet, some call them cyberbullies, others call them senators, but regardless, I can fly over them in my helicopter and shoot them with spam and text messages to get my points across.
I have to tell you, I just can't wait to come to their town and face them down and put MyFace in their Space.
We have a real big mess with cybereconomics and identity theft, and I'll just have to put my gloves on, load some cartridges in my ebook and take it all on.
Some might pooh pooh these problems as being virtual, but our kids don't have a second life, we have to protect their real and future one. Join me when I go to Washington and yell as loud as we can, "Get Cybersmart and safe online, and by golly we're going to fix that bridge to nowhere."
 
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