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Topic : 10/28 Cyber Bullying

Number of Replies: 132
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Created on : Friday, October 24, 2008, 02:49:53 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Bullies love an audience, and there’s no bigger playground than the World Wide Web. Cyber bullies create vulgar MySpace posts to taunt others, or send harassing text messages and threatening e-mails. Dr. Phil tackles this topic head on with his son, Jay, whose new book, Jay McGraw’s Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies, offers action-oriented plans. Jay recently sat down with a group of teens to get their perspective on cyber bullying -- and they didn’t hold back! Learn what concerns the students the most. Next, 17-year-old Austyn says a close friend turned on her, hacked into her MySpace account and reformatted the page to say that Austyn is a " slut," a “sag” and a “butter face.”  Austyn says she now has a bad reputation at school and shows Dr. Phil producers a typical day in her life. What can the teen do to empower herself? Steve DeWarns, a police officer and founder of Internetchildsafety.net, explains when cyber bullying becomes a crime. Then, is your child capable of intimidating other kids? Jay gives the Dos and Don’ts of reacting to a bully. Plus, meet a teen who fears his future may be ruined after a fake MySpace page was created in his name, and a mother who says her 15-year-old son was bullied to death. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 28, 2008, 10:01 am CDT

10/28 Cyber Bullying

Quote From: freakycat125

For the young man who had a My Space account created on his behalf without his knowledge. I suggest he and his mom read this:

 

 

http://www1.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=misc.terms

 

... and then use the link to contact the staff to have the page removed. While My Space is not liable for damages, they will take down the page. I think that you might have to stay after them with e-mail, because they are a big company, but generally the provider, in this case my space will co-operate in taking this down.

Maybe if they were in fact liable for damages there would be less of this happening.
 
October 28, 2008, 10:39 am CDT

Bullying--a Symptom of the Problem??

Dr. Phil--in today's show about cyber-bullying, you asked "what is it we are doing to socialize our kids in this way?"  I personally believe it's what we are "not" doing.  I think bullying, violence, drug abuse, self-loathing, child abuse, work dysfunction, teen suicide, gang activity, etc, etc. are all symptoms, and the root cause is that many kids do not feel a sense of connection, nurturing, and of being valued.  I think so many kids today do not feel heard--they feel invisible, so they act out in violent, irresponsible ways to get attention.  And behind this is my belief that too many folks are "choosing" to become parents when they are not prepared for the responsibility that comes with kids.  There's sex education in schools--why isn't there some kind of education on how to be an effective parent?  I believe if some folks really had a clue what they were getting into, they would hopefully make a more conscious decision on family planning.  If schools can't do it, then how about OB/GYN offices, even hospitals?  I personally believe it's a parent's responsibility to make the best choices to ensure a happy, healthy family--even limiting the number of kids if unable to provide emotionally, or financially.  It sure can't be society's responsibility to keep picking up the broken pieces.  I would love to see grassroots efforts for proactive "parent prep" programs--hey, you have to have a license and take a test to drive a car--I think kids are way, way, way more important to our lives and our futures than cars.
 
October 28, 2008, 11:05 am CDT

10/28 Cyber Bullying

Quote From: pens2007

You did a show like this last year.  I know it must be hard to come up with new ideas but cyber bullying this week and text messages last week?  I always record your shows on my DVR but I only watch one to two a week due to subject matter.  Many of us have children that are grown.  You have had so many good shows in the past.  I can only hope subject matter will improve.

Not everyone has children who are grown. I don't even have children of my own. And, my three stepchildren were grown when I got married. But, Dr Phil can't, and shouldn't, produce shows just for those of us who no longer have, or have never had, young children. Many of Dr Phil's "good" shows in the past have been for parents of young children, BTW. As for texting and driving, you could get killed tomorrow by some teenager doing this. And, it was no kid who crashed the Metro Link train while texting. It was a grown man.

 
October 28, 2008, 11:09 am CDT

10/28 Cyber Bullying

Thank you for your show today. It is so sad that this is still happening. I have been dealing with bullys since the start of my sons school year he is in 7th grade and he has had a few 8th grade boys that have been giving him a hard time I have reported every time one of them has said something to him and they all have stoped but one, I took my son into school late today and we had to meet with the principal to report the newest threat the boy made to him,I left not feeling good about leaving my son where this boy had access to him so I went back and took him out of school came home and turned Dr.Phil on and was shocked that it was about what we are going through not so much cyber but at school. I am lucky that my son comes home and tells me everything this kid is saying to him and we have talks with him everynight and he knows not to let it get to him and that what they are saying to him is all lies but no matter what age you are when someone is in your face everyday saying hurtfull things to you it starts to stress you out. My son should not have to be taken out of school and miss learning due to this kid and I do not feel like the school is doing all they can to stop him. To be honest I felt as tho the principal was somehow saying that there was no way all we where syaing was true he never once said I am sorry for what your son is going through he never said that they do not tolerate this type of behaivor but he made sure to let me know that it is a public school and every kid has a right to go there and that he couldnt just expell him but that he finally after all theses weeks of reports from not only my son but now a few others inculding some gilrs that he has sexually harrased he will be getting a 3 day suspension??? What is wrong with our schools. I feel that Dr. Phil and his son Jay are doing the right thing by shinging the light on this matter PLEASE keep up the good work! Like I said I am lucky to have a child who comes home and reports this but there are so many kids that keep this locked inside till its to late and they start to believe what is being said to them and they take there lives. WE HAVE GOT TO STOP THIS and it starts with the parents!
 
October 28, 2008, 11:22 am CDT

There is a safer place for kids

Thank you to Brenda and her son for  courage in telling their story and  for mentioning safewave. School must be a safe environment for learning. If you are constantly concerned about the next bully attack learning takes a back seat to anxiety and fear.

Safewaves iLAND5  identifies and registers a student through their school preventing cyber predators and bullies. Any bully who misuses the site is suspended, their words will not reach their victim, instead smiley faces will appear.

iLAND5 has sites divided by age groups,- games, educational content, social networking, Beach High comic books, traveling iGGY,  and much more, all presented  in a safe environmernt so kids can be kids.

No child has to face cyber bullying again.

Please advocate for state laws to protect our children from the dangers of the internet, if we don't who will ?

 Keep up the great work Dr. Phil and Jay every child needs to know that good people take up their cause.

 
October 28, 2008, 11:31 am CDT

10/28 Cyber Bullying

 

I sent this as an email before seeing that I could post a message.

I watched your show today on dealing with bullies.  This truly is a problem.  But I think

young children are doing this in imitation of adults. They see examples of adult bullying every day. When children are shopping they see the front page of tabloids with lies or half truths about celebrities.  On TV and on the internet they see bullying by politicians in the form of ads with lies and half truths about their opponents.  These criminal acts are committed under the guise of and with the protection of the first amendment. I receive emails daily about Obama, Biden, McCain & Palin which are nothing but lies or distortion of the truth.  So until the adults do something to stand up for truth and responsibility by restricting these ads and articles, why should children be held to a higher standard?  When I was a child, I remember my grandmother saying that if it was in the newspaper it had to be the truth because the publisher was a man of integrity and responsibility.  Could we do something today to hold our communication executives to that same sense of integrity and responsibility?  Could each one develop a fact finding committee to check for truth before publishing or posting?  We all need to stand up and insist on truth and responsibility in publications in all forms.

 
October 28, 2008, 12:03 pm CDT

10/28 Cyber Bullying

Quote From: irishgirltwo

 I'm 20 and a senior Biology student at a major university         me and her decided to have sex  you skipped English and grammar, I'm suspecting

 

And there's no longer a legal intervention her parents can take because she won't let anyone with good intentions control her  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????  That would be you with the good intentions wanting to CONTROL??????????? her?   My BP is going up.   Her parents were trying to protect her from, not only herself, but from people like you.  The  frontal lobes of your brain is not even fully developed at 17 to make life decisions, yet children and young people continue to waste their youth learning from experience.  Her parents have already forgotten more than you know!

A minor grammar mistake doesn't mean I skipped out on it. Although, I will admit English was really a blur because I took it almost four years ago and didn't really pay attention. Other than the reading part english was never really my subject of interest.

I didn't want to control her and none of my actions suggested otherwise. I let her make her own decision because it wasn't a decision I could make. Her parents used pressure and force as they always have and now she has multiple emotional problems. Don't give me lectures on the structures of the brain, I'm getting a B.S. in Biology next semester. Her parents are uneducated, I made more money at 17 as a computer programmer then her dad did at 40+ as a machinist. Learning from experience is the way it's always been done, it's the mammalian way of learning. The methodology of learning from experience is indubitably the most powerful meathod of learning. Sure, some guidence is nice but parents can't live their children's lives for them. It's makes them weaker young adults.
 
October 28, 2008, 12:19 pm CDT

Cyber Bulling

I was bullies all my life and tell you one thing it come without a warning... and still today im 24 years old... and i still being bullied.. and telling the truth its not fun or a joke.. and actually  being in a middle and having uys hitting and puching me and been called names .. it  coming to a point its getting worst by the minute i can see when someone is been bullied.. im a victim of it .. and what worst the one is bullying is the one acting is the victim than the attacker.. i dont ave no remorse for ppl like that .. tht is because kids today brings guns to school  or even to the point killing ppl even killing themselfs.. what not try to fix the problem then doing nothing ..
 
October 28, 2008, 12:24 pm CDT

I understand so well

My daughter went through this on her cell phone.  She was on hospital (and home) bound schooling in eighth grade.  She was having a serious, but not permanent, health problem and she was not able to go to school for nine weeks and so had to be one the alternative program.  The whole time that she was home she received messages on her cell--with the names of the callers blocked--about how everyone knew that she was dying of leukemia or that she was infected with AIDS.  Since her health problem was aggravated by stress and trauma, these calls--which went on for weeks--made her situation worse.  All attempts to track the calls or to get them stopped were unsuccessful and since her phone is on her father's service we were rather stuck.  The calls did stop after a while, but while they continued, they actually threatened her health. 
 
October 28, 2008, 12:26 pm CDT

It is a preventable problem

I understand that this is a real problem but teens and kids can prevent it from happening to them. First for the AIM bullies there is a block button that you push and that person can never bother you again. As for myspace, the fact of hackers you need to make your password something no one can figure out. Plus myspace has this little thing called privacy. I have it set on mine. This means that it limits the people that can add you as friends they have to at least know your last name and you still have to approve them and as for comments I have to approve every comment left on my myspace before it is shown. So even though this is a problem they can fix it. I understand that text messages are used as well and you can have that number blocked so that you do recieve any more messages. I think that we need to stop blaming the bullies even though what they are doing is wrong and stand up for ourselves. If you are a victim of cyber bullying there are things that you can do so that you don't have to deal with it.
 
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