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Topic : 10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

Number of Replies: 104
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Created on : Friday, October 24, 2008, 02:53:48 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
In a groundbreaking new series, Dr. Phil counsels 14 strangers who say their lives are absolutely not working. With issues such as extreme anger, addictions, abuse and personal demons that won’t go away, these guests spend an intense three days and two nights in a Dr. Phil retreat, facing the problems that are holding them back. By following their journey, you may just change your life as well. In the premiere episode, Dr. Phil gives his guests a huge wake-up call, using video clips of their private moments at home to demonstrate how their lives have spun out of control. Meet Ron and Angie, a couple struggling with Ron’s alcoholism while trying to parent their 2-year-old child. Can Dr. Phil cut through the fog of a man who drinks 40 to 50 beers a day? And, Kathleen says she hates and fears all African-American men because of something horrific that happened to her over 20 years ago. After she avoids interaction with Wade, an African-American in the retreat, Dr. Phil points out that they have more in common than they think. Plus, Paige is in love -- and in denial -- with a married man. If your life is so busy that you haven’t taken a long look at yourself for awhile, make this hour all about you and get inspired to turn your life around! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 30, 2008, 11:59 am CDT

Angie & Ron

Quote From: ramair

Just saw the first episode. Man, Dr Phil's really got his work cut out for him with this crowd.
How dare Paige whine about being "judged" for having sex with another woman's husband? If this man did leave his wife for her, it wouldn't be long before she'd be judging the hell out some woman just like her. If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you, toots.
Ron and Angie? What a pathetic pair of losers. If they don't get their act together, Dr Phil will be duty-bound to report them to CPS.
Wade and Kathleen? I've got hope for them. It's rare, BTW, for black men to rape white women. It's usually a black-on-black, white-on-white crime.
How dare you talk about Angie and Ron in that manner, you don't know them.  The only thing you know is that he is/was an alcoholic and you jump right on the wagon of hate.  You should take a good look at your life and realize you aren't anywhere near perfect either. 
 
October 30, 2008, 12:01 pm CDT

10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

Quote From: ramair

Just saw the first episode. Man, Dr Phil's really got his work cut out for him with this crowd.
How dare Paige whine about being "judged" for having sex with another woman's husband? If this man did leave his wife for her, it wouldn't be long before she'd be judging the hell out some woman just like her. If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you, toots.
Ron and Angie? What a pathetic pair of losers. If they don't get their act together, Dr Phil will be duty-bound to report them to CPS.
Wade and Kathleen? I've got hope for them. It's rare, BTW, for black men to rape white women. It's usually a black-on-black, white-on-white crime.
While I do agree with you on some things, remember, you just can't judge people for willing to want to change their ways around. Plus I don't think that Dr. Phil is required to contact CPS about situations like these. No one deserves to be judged. Not Paige, Ron, Angie, or everyone else.
 
October 30, 2008, 12:29 pm CDT

10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

Quote From: cheryle65

Hi my name is Cheryle. Just writing briefly what I have been going through and hoping there is somebody else out there that has been through the same thing or still in a situation like me. hopefully i can get some help. I have been in a relationship for 7 years. I have 3 children 18, 21 and 24. They all have moved out of home due to all the things my partner had done to them. My kids are from a previous marriage. My partner used to do anything to make them feel intimadated, uncomfortable and scared.Now its down to 2 of my kids wont even come to visit anymore coz they dont want to go through that anymore. I also have 2 grandchildren which I was very close to and my partner used to scare the hell out of them. So my daughter doesnt bring them here anymore. If i want to see my kids , I go to see them. HE USED TO GO TO WORK AND TELL EVERYBODY BAD THINGS ABOUT ME AND MAKE ME OUT TO BE A BAD PERSON. Everybody ended up hating me coz of all his lies. This went on for years. But I have since spoken to those people and they have realized that it was all lies and said he is just a big liar and a conman. He has had an affair before, he also lies to me all the time

Whenever i ring my kids or they ring me , he makes smart comments and always puts us down. And when my son comes to see me, its like my partner hates me and doesnt want anything to do with me.He doesnt help me much around the house. I have told him that he expects too much from me and that im not his maid. But having done all this, he says he loves me.Look, I could go on and on. I could write a book. So many bad things have happened in my relationship. I am so confused and dont know what to do anymore. My health is going downhill due to all this.Hope there is somebody out there that can help.

Cheryle, you cannot complain about something that you refuse to change. That's like running into a wall over and over and griping because it hurts! Does that make any more sense than what you're doing? It would be a very cold day in hell before I'd allow any man to "scare the hell out of" my children or grandchildren! What is wrong with YOU?! 

  

It's ALL up to YOU! No one else can help you if you won't help yourself.

 

Sorry. It may sound harsh, but it's the truth...and I think you already know that....yet still, you continue to put some worthless man over your own children and grandchildren.  

 

You say he says he "loves" you? If you believe that's what love is, you need your head examined!

 

Don't waste people's time trying to get sympathy by crying about a situation you aren't serious about changing. Sounds like you are a "yes, but" person: no matter what someone says to get you motivated to straighten up your life, you respond with "Yes, but......."  There's no sympathy deserved in that situation.

 

Change it, or be quiet about it.

 

 

 
October 30, 2008, 12:49 pm CDT

Ya'll need to GET REAL!!!

Read Dr Phil's book, 'Life Strategies'.  I did and it changed my thinking!  You are responsible for YOU!  No one can change your circumstances accept you and if you feel victimized, it's YOUR responsibility to change it!

 

Ron, go to AA and WORK YOUR PROGRAM.  If you can't, leave your wife and set her free from your addiction.  She and your daughter will thank you for it later.

 

Ron's wife, GET FREE.  YOU are in an ABUSIVE relationship.  I was and I will NEVER regret getting free from my ex and his drinking.  He still won't recognize that it was his alcoholism which ended our marriage.  You are in an adulterous relationship: your husband's first love is his beer.  Decide not to share yourself and your child with this!  YOU deserve a better life and so does your daughter!  I'm on my own now, raising four kids and no support from him.  That's OK because I'm happy and so are they!  I worked for years to make our ends meet and when my kids were not getting what they needed, he always had a drink or a smoke when he wanted it!  Both he and YOUR husband are SELFISH!  Let him go and take good care of YOU and your daughter!

 

Paige:  OMG!!!! girl, you deserve to take control of your life!  This guy is only saying 'I love you..' to **** you!  He doesn't care about YOU, he cares only about getting a piece of a**!  Trust me, I have been where you are.  I was stuck in a rut with a married guy who abused me and used me for his jollies for almost 10 yrs!  I wouldn't wish that kind of painful existence on anyone!  YOU are so much better than that!  Take control and make a change.  You will be thankful for it in the end.  I am!  It's about time to decide to love yourself enough to dump that jerk and pursue your own dreams and desires.

 

All my love and prayers are with everyone on today's show.  I was stuck in the same kinds of ruts over the years and learned so much from them.  If you are searching for some solutions to your personal pit, READ LIFE STRATEGIES  it's a great book!

 

BTW:  The definition of a RUT is a GRAVE with the ends knocked out.  Get out of yours and LIVE!

 

Much love,

R

 
October 30, 2008, 1:03 pm CDT

There is NO Shining Knight to rescue you!

Quote From: cheryle65

Hi my name is Cheryle. Just writing briefly what I have been going through and hoping there is somebody else out there that has been through the same thing or still in a situation like me. hopefully i can get some help. I have been in a relationship for 7 years. I have 3 children 18, 21 and 24. They all have moved out of home due to all the things my partner had done to them. My kids are from a previous marriage. My partner used to do anything to make them feel intimadated, uncomfortable and scared.Now its down to 2 of my kids wont even come to visit anymore coz they dont want to go through that anymore. I also have 2 grandchildren which I was very close to and my partner used to scare the hell out of them. So my daughter doesnt bring them here anymore. If i want to see my kids , I go to see them. HE USED TO GO TO WORK AND TELL EVERYBODY BAD THINGS ABOUT ME AND MAKE ME OUT TO BE A BAD PERSON. Everybody ended up hating me coz of all his lies. This went on for years. But I have since spoken to those people and they have realized that it was all lies and said he is just a big liar and a conman. He has had an affair before, he also lies to me all the time

Whenever i ring my kids or they ring me , he makes smart comments and always puts us down. And when my son comes to see me, its like my partner hates me and doesnt want anything to do with me.He doesnt help me much around the house. I have told him that he expects too much from me and that im not his maid. But having done all this, he says he loves me.Look, I could go on and on. I could write a book. So many bad things have happened in my relationship. I am so confused and dont know what to do anymore. My health is going downhill due to all this.Hope there is somebody out there that can help.

Cheryle:  I see your pic, if that is you.  YOU are a beautiful lady, hon.  Why are you allowing yourself to be in such a shabby situation?  You do not deserve this kind of treatment, so take care of YOU.  Believe me, I wished and wished for someone to come along and rescue me from my tough times.  My life turned around when I realized that NO ONE was gonna care about me as much as ME.  Making my life different was up to ME and NO ONE else!   There is NO knight on a white steed who's gonna come and sweep you out off your feet!  TAKE CONTROL NOW!   That was the pep talk.

 

NOW, down to business.  YOU are a pathetic excuse of a MOM if you say that you couldn't keep this abusive monster from intimidating your children.  No wonder they won't speak to you and keep your grandkids from you.  YOU were NOT allowed to make them the victims of your bad choice in relationships!  And because you haven't figured this out by now, they have taken their own actions to suspend contact with you for their mental health.  Just be thankful that they have figured out what you can't see and been able to keep themselves safe from it.  If you can get REAL about your responsibility in this thing, seek to MAKE a difference, first for yourself and then for them, by apologizing for NOT keeping them safe from abuse and making it your responsibility to have a better future.

 

GET OUT of your abusive relationship.  If you can't do that yet, get help, and read, read READ!  KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!!   Go to the relationship section of these message boards and find the board for ABUSE.  Read what has been posted there and get some of the resources which are posted frequently.  The first book you could get is called 'Why Does He Do That?"  by Lundy Bancroft.  Here's his site:  http://www.lundybancroft.com  Check it out!

 

Take good care of YOU because you deserve it!  Don't stand for this abuse any longer!

Much love,

R

 
October 30, 2008, 1:14 pm CDT

Is this for real?

I don't think I will watch this series. I don't like the Dr Phil that i see on this show and I think some of these people could have helped themselves rather than be put in this humiliating situation he has them in.

How sad people feel like they have to air all the ugly in their lives on national TV in order to get help.

 
October 30, 2008, 1:17 pm CDT

10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

Quote From: cheryle65

Hi my name is Cheryle. Just writing briefly what I have been going through and hoping there is somebody else out there that has been through the same thing or still in a situation like me. hopefully i can get some help. I have been in a relationship for 7 years. I have 3 children 18, 21 and 24. They all have moved out of home due to all the things my partner had done to them. My kids are from a previous marriage. My partner used to do anything to make them feel intimadated, uncomfortable and scared.Now its down to 2 of my kids wont even come to visit anymore coz they dont want to go through that anymore. I also have 2 grandchildren which I was very close to and my partner used to scare the hell out of them. So my daughter doesnt bring them here anymore. If i want to see my kids , I go to see them. HE USED TO GO TO WORK AND TELL EVERYBODY BAD THINGS ABOUT ME AND MAKE ME OUT TO BE A BAD PERSON. Everybody ended up hating me coz of all his lies. This went on for years. But I have since spoken to those people and they have realized that it was all lies and said he is just a big liar and a conman. He has had an affair before, he also lies to me all the time

Whenever i ring my kids or they ring me , he makes smart comments and always puts us down. And when my son comes to see me, its like my partner hates me and doesnt want anything to do with me.He doesnt help me much around the house. I have told him that he expects too much from me and that im not his maid. But having done all this, he says he loves me.Look, I could go on and on. I could write a book. So many bad things have happened in my relationship. I am so confused and dont know what to do anymore. My health is going downhill due to all this.Hope there is somebody out there that can help.

You know what you need to do. You always have. You must enjoy playing the martyr because you don't seem stupid.
 
October 30, 2008, 1:29 pm CDT

Great Show!

I like these kinds of shows because we get to see Dr. Phil doing what he does best.  I personally think that Dr. Phil would be kind and gentle to everyone and just put his arms around them right away if he thought that would be the best way to help people but he knows that is not what's effective. (Maybe he'd even secretly or not-so-secretly prefer it if the hug therapy was the best way to help people, but it's just not.  He knows he's gotta wake people up and you can't wake them up if you're simultaneously lulling them to sleep by making them feel better.)

I kinda look at the ability to 'therapize' as a gift, like being blessed with an excellent singing voice.  Education and training help, but in the end, the ability is there or it's not, and, in Dr. Phil's case it's WAY there.  What an amazing ability he has! It's refreshing to watch him work.

Also, I think he's seriously driven by compassion and a desire to improve the world around him, one person at a time.
 
October 30, 2008, 1:31 pm CDT

10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

Hi my name is Lisa. I just watched the first show on Dr. Phil's get real retreat, I sat and cried almost all the way through. I am usually depressed but I'm not sure why. It tears at my heart to see other people that struggle but have no idea what the underlying issues really are. I'm glad they get to get to the bottom of the problem, hopefully one day it can be me and I can be happy. 
 
October 30, 2008, 1:39 pm CDT

i can relate to this show

I CAN RELATE TO THIS SHOW TO KATHLEEN AND WADE. ABOUT BEING RAPED.I WAS RAPED BY TWO OF MY BROTHERS AND SOME OF MY MUM'S FRIENDS.WHEN I TOLD HER ALL I GOT WAS A SLAP ACROSS THE FACE AND SENT TO MY ROOM.AND I WAS TOLD I WAS NOTHING BUT A TRAMP AND THAT IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.THE RAPE'S STARTED AT THE AGE OF AROUND 8 YEARS OLD.IT WAS TWO OLDER BROTHERS.AND EVEN TO THIS DAY I HAVE PROBLEM TRUSTING GUYS AT ALL.MY BROTHERS WOULD TAKE US DOWNSTAIRS IN THEIR BEDROOM WHEN DAD AND MUM WERE OUT.DO THERE THING AND THEN THREATEN US .BUT I TOLD ANYWAY AND WAS CALLED ALL KINDS OF THINGS.DR.PHIL THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS SHOW.YOU SAID ONE TIME NO MATTER HOW DARK IT WAS IM COMING FOR YOU.AND GOD I HOPE YOU DO.IM GOING TO WATCH THESE SHOWS.I WATCH ALL YOUR SHOWS BUT THIS ONE REALLY HIT HOME BASE WITH ME.WITH THE TWO THAT WERE RAPED.AS I GOT OLDER IT STOPPED SOME.BUT THEN I WAS OUT WITH MY OLDEST BROTHER AND HE SET ME UP FOR A RAPE.ONE OF HIS FRIENDS.AND THEN HE LYED IN COURT ABOUT ME,AND SO DID MY BROTHER.I WAS DEVASTATED.AND EVEN TO THIS DAY I DOTN TRUST MEN.I CANT TYPE THE REST ITS GETTING TO ME TOO BAD.SO ILL LEAVE IT AT THIS.BUT THANK  YOU DR.PHIL FOR THIS SHOW.

 

                                              CUDDLES05

 
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