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Topic : 10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

Number of Replies: 104
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, October 24, 2008, 02:53:48 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
In a groundbreaking new series, Dr. Phil counsels 14 strangers who say their lives are absolutely not working. With issues such as extreme anger, addictions, abuse and personal demons that won’t go away, these guests spend an intense three days and two nights in a Dr. Phil retreat, facing the problems that are holding them back. By following their journey, you may just change your life as well. In the premiere episode, Dr. Phil gives his guests a huge wake-up call, using video clips of their private moments at home to demonstrate how their lives have spun out of control. Meet Ron and Angie, a couple struggling with Ron’s alcoholism while trying to parent their 2-year-old child. Can Dr. Phil cut through the fog of a man who drinks 40 to 50 beers a day? And, Kathleen says she hates and fears all African-American men because of something horrific that happened to her over 20 years ago. After she avoids interaction with Wade, an African-American in the retreat, Dr. Phil points out that they have more in common than they think. Plus, Paige is in love -- and in denial -- with a married man. If your life is so busy that you haven’t taken a long look at yourself for awhile, make this hour all about you and get inspired to turn your life around! Join the discussion.

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October 30, 2008, 2:10 pm CDT

HI CHERYLE

Quote From: cheryle65

Hi my name is Cheryle. Just writing briefly what I have been going through and hoping there is somebody else out there that has been through the same thing or still in a situation like me. hopefully i can get some help. I have been in a relationship for 7 years. I have 3 children 18, 21 and 24. They all have moved out of home due to all the things my partner had done to them. My kids are from a previous marriage. My partner used to do anything to make them feel intimadated, uncomfortable and scared.Now its down to 2 of my kids wont even come to visit anymore coz they dont want to go through that anymore. I also have 2 grandchildren which I was very close to and my partner used to scare the hell out of them. So my daughter doesnt bring them here anymore. If i want to see my kids , I go to see them. HE USED TO GO TO WORK AND TELL EVERYBODY BAD THINGS ABOUT ME AND MAKE ME OUT TO BE A BAD PERSON. Everybody ended up hating me coz of all his lies. This went on for years. But I have since spoken to those people and they have realized that it was all lies and said he is just a big liar and a conman. He has had an affair before, he also lies to me all the time

Whenever i ring my kids or they ring me , he makes smart comments and always puts us down. And when my son comes to see me, its like my partner hates me and doesnt want anything to do with me.He doesnt help me much around the house. I have told him that he expects too much from me and that im not his maid. But having done all this, he says he loves me.Look, I could go on and on. I could write a book. So many bad things have happened in my relationship. I am so confused and dont know what to do anymore. My health is going downhill due to all this.Hope there is somebody out there that can help.

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING FOR 22 YEARS. I PUT UP WITH THE ABUSE(MENTAL,VERBAL AND PSHYICAL) ALL THAT TIME. IT EVEN HAPPENED TO MY KIDS. THE BEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE YOU IS GET OUT NOW. YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON AND YOUR SELF-ESTEEM IS AT AN ALL TIME LOW. WHAT I DID WAS I USED TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SAY " I AM BETTER THEN THIS". GET A BACKBONE AND STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. SAY ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AND LEAVE.

YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN NEED YOU. AND YOU NEED THEM, DON'T LET HIM DO TO YOU WHAT MINE DID TO ME.

GOD BLESS YOU

ANGELS WATCHING OVER YOU ALWAYS

LINDA

FROM DALLAS,TX

 
October 30, 2008, 2:24 pm CDT

"when to actually or even be able to acknowlege the full issue"

 

 Good Afternoon all,

 

  I watched the show today just like millions others and the majority more likely can understand to a point

 of all that after effect and process of emotions at that moment.  So just to say rather it means anything or

 not, I know the title I have given this is somewhat strange proubly.  But in my way of thinking on that

 is not being able to fully comprehend and understand why or what did I do, for the same situations to happen to me, but even at that I still not just wonder why and what I done or could have done to prevent it but why couldn't I tell anyone until here very recently and I am now 43yrs of age. Just to say I was malested for only God knows how long exactly, I just dont remember the beginning of it all just when the days starting coming to a end of it being put to a stop, that part was done by my step father for gosh I really dont know how long but he took me on the sun.drives and lets just say I learned somehow on how to drive during all that time.

Well I was malested/rape not sure what to call it by two female cousins of mine, I never wanted to be there but my mother made me stay over night there. and well that was the results.  Then I was raped at the age of 14yr. by a cousin and his best friend while staying with relatives in another state for that summer. that went on and on, locked in a bedroom for a whole day, stripping off my clothes over and over ... you name it so yes these people on that show really suffered.  But I do agree with Dr. Phil not all black men are like that and not all cousins are like that .  everyone is so different in every way so he is right and I am glad that was mentioned.

Now these are just a few of the things that went on in my life and rather its from the trama of my life or what I have had epilepsy for now almost 30yrs.  controled for the last two for the first time in my life. But now that I am controled I had a marriage of 22yrs. which recently this summer ended up in a divorce which I will always love him even though he as well raped me .. long one there.. no need in going into all that , just another one or thing. part of life I guess.   But you know what really ticks me off is I still have all these years never had support or beleif from my own mother, I to this day continue to hear from her and my family that I will never make it in life.  maybe they are right I havent yet .. sorry you all didnt intend for all this to come out but here is most of it.  again I am sorry

 
October 30, 2008, 2:30 pm CDT

10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

Quote From: justnancy

I like these kinds of shows because we get to see Dr. Phil doing what he does best.  I personally think that Dr. Phil would be kind and gentle to everyone and just put his arms around them right away if he thought that would be the best way to help people but he knows that is not what's effective. (Maybe he'd even secretly or not-so-secretly prefer it if the hug therapy was the best way to help people, but it's just not.  He knows he's gotta wake people up and you can't wake them up if you're simultaneously lulling them to sleep by making them feel better.)

I kinda look at the ability to 'therapize' as a gift, like being blessed with an excellent singing voice.  Education and training help, but in the end, the ability is there or it's not, and, in Dr. Phil's case it's WAY there.  What an amazing ability he has! It's refreshing to watch him work.

Also, I think he's seriously driven by compassion and a desire to improve the world around him, one person at a time.
I second that!  Dr Phil, you are at your best here.  Keep up the great work!
 
October 30, 2008, 2:32 pm CDT

Thank you for getting in my face!

After seeing todays show I see you are doing what I'm trying for in private. I want old demons put down, memories put in the "trash". I want to be whole and happy. I am walking this self-help journey alone because I know and want help with my many ghosts. I am watching your show and reading several books that help others through the journey of self-cleansing that will lead to health and wholeness once and for all. We are, I am part of a very sick and burdened society. If we don't start becoming accountable and aware of our path, we are headed for complete self annihilation. Thank you for answering the call that you have. It's a big job, but the best way to eat an elephant is to start with the first bite. Thank you, Dr. Phil and Robin.
 
October 30, 2008, 2:45 pm CDT

Cheryl

Quote From: amother55

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING FOR 22 YEARS. I PUT UP WITH THE ABUSE(MENTAL,VERBAL AND PSHYICAL) ALL THAT TIME. IT EVEN HAPPENED TO MY KIDS. THE BEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE YOU IS GET OUT NOW. YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON AND YOUR SELF-ESTEEM IS AT AN ALL TIME LOW. WHAT I DID WAS I USED TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SAY " I AM BETTER THEN THIS". GET A BACKBONE AND STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. SAY ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AND LEAVE.

YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN NEED YOU. AND YOU NEED THEM, DON'T LET HIM DO TO YOU WHAT MINE DID TO ME.

GOD BLESS YOU

ANGELS WATCHING OVER YOU ALWAYS

LINDA

FROM DALLAS,TX

It;s not easy cause I was there myself 25 years ago, but you can leave and salvage your self worth and a relationship with your children. My problem years ago, was that I put my kids first and the fighting and separations were constant. But I had a church Pastor constantly telling me that I couldn't divorce because that would be adultery and against the vows I made before God. After a few years of that I got some back bone and left once and for all. I would deal with God myself and take my chances. You know He didn't strike me dead but was rather a very compassionate and loving Father to me. The journey is ongoing but you have to pick a place to start and standing up for yourself and your kids is first. My prayers are with you. I believe you can do this!!! 
 
October 30, 2008, 2:50 pm CDT

Incredibly obvious to merely obvious

Dr. Phil is interesting to watch. I can't relate to any of the people though. I have empathy and sympathy for some, others I just think are weak and whiny. I have always handled my problems. I think a lot of people have way too much time and money on their hands and create drama.
 
October 30, 2008, 2:51 pm CDT

OMG

Quote From: efffy_

You know what you need to do. You always have. You must enjoy playing the martyr because you don't seem stupid.
Read what you wrote. Pretend it is a friend thats writing you to ask your opinion. Now, what will you tell her????????
 
October 30, 2008, 2:54 pm CDT

The Poem I wrote below reminds me of Wade

I am happy to know that Dr. Phil is going to help Wade dry the tears of his inner child still hurting at age 10 and 13. Reaching out to them to comfort and bring into the safety of Wade's love and understanding and acceptance. I wish all 14 a successful journey to complete healing... by "getting real".


SELF PORTRAIT
by: SEA

As I tip toed quietly down the stair
I saw a child who was not there
It was the child that I used to be
Still praying on bended knee

As I stepped around this child my leg brushed her hair
Bottoms of socks got wet as I walked past sun's glare
I had not seen puddle of this child's fallen tears
From fears that had held her captive for all these years

Her sobbing still echoes in my ears
Yet I am the only one who ever hears
I quickly turned back to child to see
Child was gone and in mirror I saw me

I wish oh wish that this child who cries
Could dry her tears and take my hand to rise
So I think tomorrow when I see her in prayer
I'll dry tears of my inner child still kneeling there
 
October 30, 2008, 2:55 pm CDT

My Reaction

I know how it feels to have years of deep pain and I saw this show as a great idea. I got very emotional though when I watched the woman that was afraid of the only black man there..I actually got sick to my stomach because I am African American and I honestly felt very sad about how she reacted to him before she could hear his story...Like they always say..you never know someone until you walk in their shoes..They were both sexually assaulted and I honestly hope that her and the man she was afraid of can help each other.  Just because a person is of a certain race doesn't mean that they are the person that abused you.  I know the pain of being victimized a little too well....What kind of life would I have if I feared someone because they are the same race as the person that victimized me.  I can tell that this is going to be a very emotional ride to watch.
 
October 30, 2008, 3:12 pm CDT

10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

     Wow this is just like the show 8 years ago on Oprah when I told my freinds I know he need to be hard to accomplish what he wants to do but I don't think I would appreciate it.

I was married to a an alcholic and when I first married him he has just come out of a recovery programme but I knew nothing about how bad things can get.  I hope angie will get lots of help from this retreat.  I am sure there will be lots more I will relate to as the time goes on.

 

This is the kind of show I appreciate.

 
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