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Topic : 11/06 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat, Part 2

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Created on : Friday, October 31, 2008, 04:16:39 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil continues his intense three-day retreat with 14 people who say they’re ready to change their lives. Struggling with issues such as addiction, anger, abuse and grief, guests confront their personal demons once and for all. After getting kicked out of the studio during Part 1, will everyone agree to stop wasting time? Part 2 introduces the remaining participants. Kaylee admits she abused her three children throughout their entire childhood. Now that they are grown and estranged from her, she says she’s ready to deal with her anger. Dr. Phil confronts Kaylee about the shocking truth of how she treated her kids. Then, throughout her childhood, Melissa’s father would share nightmare-inducing stories about how he would hypothetically kill someone and get away with it. She later learned that her father was not who she thought he was. Kelly says she blames herself for not being there for her father before he committed suicide. Jessica R. and Diona share their problems with weight and self-image, and Carina is trying to rein in her anger and hatred toward men. Jessica F. says she’s the most controlling person in the world. Nicole is so obsessed with perfection, she says she’s never had an intimate relationship, and Don is trying to come to terms with his drug-filled past. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 6, 2008, 3:22 pm CST

11/06 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat, Part 2

Today's show was so about myself i have so much anger feel so worthless and helpless I also feel that I would be better off dead. When he talked about the mask that was so totally me. I'm so good at covering things and bottleing it up. there are times i look for opportunities to end things. yes i have been treated for depression and all that goes with it. All of those people were so brave to stand there and take on Dr. Phil and to face their issues. I could never do it so much pain that goes back to my childhood..  Again the group was so brave.   
 
November 6, 2008, 3:22 pm CST

Homework questions

I'm coming to the party a week late, so I have two weeks of homework to complete this week. 

 

Can anyone give me more information on what is meant by the "deadness" in my life?  Other than my love life (by choice) I have no ideas.  Same question for the "bitch-list".  Can I really rant about clam shell packaging?

 
November 6, 2008, 3:26 pm CST

Joining the Journey

I have been on a path to change my ways for as long as I can remember. I am 24 and feel like the people on the show each have a characteristic that I can identify with. I think one of my biggest problems (That I can clearly see) is that I have low self-esteem. But not only that, I am suicidal but on meds, I am a pessimist, a perfectionsist, I am a control freak, I am selfish, I'm borderline alcoholic, I hate everyone and everything including myself, emotionally and verbally abusive. I am angry, I feel alone. . .  The list goes on and on. I can't afford therapy even though I'm suppose to be in a program with my perscription. My family all live far away, I feel I have no support other than my boyfriend. I have no friends I can count on, I have relationship issues, family issues, I can't control my emotions, I can't control my thoughts. I am lazy, but even when i am motivated, I don't have the tools to change the things in my life that I want to. My parents were very uninvolved inmy life and I resent them for more things than I can count.

I began reading Dr Phil's book 'Self Matters' but I stopped because when I got to the point where it was time to start digging into the past and remembering the key moments in my life that have caused me to be this way, I couldn't go on. My mind shut down, mental block... I'm not lazy, I just can't get through the exercises without help. I can't remember what my first bad or good memory. I've tried so hard to bury the bad that I am incapable of reconnecting.

I've been fighting for years and I feel some improvment, but not enough to change my desire to leave this world.

I want to get involved in the show because I am desperate and at the point of trying anything.

My biggest problem is knowing where to start, and i am hoping that this show will help me.

 
November 6, 2008, 3:28 pm CST

11/06 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat, Part 2

Quote From: trigreen

I hate when people (such as the controlling girl on the show) use animals.   It is just like using children, they can't help there surroundings and then end up getting neglected as a result.   She said she got two hamsters, instead of the one.  I certainly hope she didn't get two male hamsters because male hamsters are solitary and if caged together can kill each other.   I hope even more so she didn't get a male and a female and cage them together.   I would also hope that she got them at an animal shelter and not a pet store, but at this point I think I am just dreaming. 
You can bet your sweet bippy she didn't get them from a shelter. My husband would like to get a dog after we get all that post-retirement traveling out of our system. He's planning on retiring next March. And, I've told him, it's coming from a shelter! My brother gave me a hamster when I was 13. In the Summer, he'd work for a moving company. One of his customers gave him the hamster. When I was 16, because we were moving, I gave him to a neighbor. When a female hamster has babies, does she eat them if the male is kept in the cage with her? I know a white mouse will eat her babies.
 
November 6, 2008, 3:29 pm CST

Im a survivor of abuse....

 As I watched Dr.Phils show today I related myself to a few topics. The main issue that leans on me the most is I was abused by my father he was mentally cruel and verbally abusive and sometimes would hit me. My mother stood by and watched all of this happen to us kids. She spent most of her time trying to make up for what happened to each of us. Us meaning my two older brothers.My mother has felt gulity and still does. She ought to and sometimes I still find myself being very angrey with her after my father had passed away with cancer. My mother thought by spoiling us and giving us what we wanted would make up for my dads wrong doings. I never remember my father telling me that he loved me. Each one of us kids have our own opion about my father because he treated us differently my brothers and I dont have a bond as brothers and sisters do. My middle brother pretty much well stays away from us. He has two boys one I barely know and the other one was just born in Aug I've not yet met. Infact my brother has only met my second child twice in his life. I could go on about all the bad things that has happened to us but i really dont feel like dwelling in my past it will only make me feel depressed. I lived half of my life in a abusive lifestyle and I no longer live that life. I have a wonderful husband and a toddler and a baby on the way lifes to short to remember what happened.  But i do still feel like I could use a little more help to patch some wonds that arent all the way healed.

 
November 6, 2008, 3:32 pm CST

I see myself, I hope this show helps

Dr. Phil and people in the retreat,

   I watch this show and wonder how many times I have felt exactly like so many of these people in the retreat. I'm not here to judge anyone for I too have so much in common with so many of them. I am an angry person inside. I do my best to hide it from those around me. I am a single mother of 3, they are the ones that have truly had to suffer because of my anger. I know what it's like to unleash on my own children (mentally not physically).  I also have had an affair with a married man several years ago. I finally ended it when I realized just how much I was hurting someone else. His wife found out and called me. Until then, I just didn't see her as a part of him. I have also been a drug user years ago, I lost a lot because of it. So here I am, I hide behind trying to control people and I'm not really a perfectionist but I do have to have a lot things done just right. My kids call me O.C.D. I was abandoned by my mother at the age of 3, she left my brother and me with our alcoholic father. We were very quickly retrieved by social services. We spent a couple of years in foster care and then were adopted by our paternal grandmother. I guess this somehow gave me feelings of little or no self worth. I always felt very unimportant. I sought love in all wrong places.

 
November 6, 2008, 3:32 pm CST

single mom

DR. PHIL, I AM A SINGLE MOM OF TWO TWINS GIRL'S THAT ARE 13 YEARS OLD AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, I HAVE BEEN A SINGLE MOM FOR ALMOST AS LONG AS THEY BEEN ALIVE. I WAAS MARRIED TO THERE DAD BUT WE GOT A DIVORCE WHEN I FOUND OUT HE WAS CHEATING ON ME. IT WAS THE HARDEST THINGS TO DO BUT I HAD TO DO IT FOR MY GIRL'S AND MYSELF TOO. MY PARNETS WERE MY ROCK THEY HAVE HELPED ME OUT MORE THEN I CAN SAY, IF I EVER NEEDED ANYTHING FOR THEM THEY WERE THERE TO HEPL OUT, I WORKED 2 JOBS FOR A LONG TIME TO MAKE ENDS MEAT. THEN I MEET MY SWEETHEART AGAIN  MY HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART AND WE ARE TOGATHER AGAIN, BUT THERE I JUST ONE PROUBLEM HIS 17 YEAR OLD SON HATES ME AND WILL DO ANYTHING HE CAN DO TO BREAK USE UP AND IT IS WORKING TOO. I AM ALWAYS CRYING ALL THE TIME AND YEALING AT MY KIDS ALL THE TIME AND ME AND HIS DAD ARE FIGHTING, BUT HE LOVES THAT TOO. WHAT SHOULD I DO I AM SO TRIED OF BEING SO SAD AND CRYING ALL THE TIME. COULD YOU PLEASE HELP ME SO I CAN BE THE MOM I NOW I CAN BE AGAING. SIGN SAD MOM
 
November 6, 2008, 3:32 pm CST

11/06 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat, Part 2

 
November 6, 2008, 3:38 pm CST

Problems?

I saw the program today and thought it was interesting to see people get up in public and expressing only ONE issue they wanted/needed help with.  My mother left my older brother, younger brother, our dad and myself when I was 2 years old.  My father had an above average IQ but had dropped out of school in the 8th grade.  He was 40 when he married his 17 year old bride (our mother).  I believe they were both heavy drinkers.  When I was almost 8 years old, my brothers and I had to move into a children's home where we lived until I was 12.  We were allowed to move back in with our father in order to help take care of him (80% brain damage during surgery on his damaged liver).  My brothers and I met our mother for the first time (since leaving) the day of our father's funeral.  It was around Christmas and she wanted to give us presents.  Mine was a pair of Dockers pants that had a waist of 42 (I wore a 31 at the time) and a XXX sweater (I wore mediums and larges).  My brother's gifts were similarly mis-sized.  I haven't heard from her since that day and the only time I've seen her was while I was sitting in my car, waiting for my older brother (who was living with her) to come out...so I could take him to rehab.  Apparently she really enjoys partying with him, and from what I understand, that boy sure does like and know how to party.  Once every few years while growing up, she would call the house while very intoxicated and our father would FORCE my brothers and myself to talk to her. 

As far as the tv show goes, I enjoy watching the show but all the while, in some small fashion, laughing at the "problems".  My childhood?...for the most part I felt happy and always protected, if nothing else. 

 
November 6, 2008, 3:40 pm CST

What can we say?

Quote From: tymar2006

I too have had to deal with life after abusing drugs.  Although I did not use for a long period, the havoc that I wreaked is still too much to deal with.  I had lost my children.  My father and step-mother took me to court to take them from me.  I have since had them returned to me and I will be clean for 3 yrs. come April of 2009.  I have since went to college and I will be graduating from community college this year (which is a first for my family). I had worked for a Christian ministry running a women's shelter during this time.  But the one thing that I cannot do is make my family love me.  I am still ostracized from my family.  My grandmother, who adopted and raised me, had even moved back in with me a year ago because my family threatened to send her to the nursing home if she kept talking to me.  My 74 yr. old grandmother's family will not talk to her because of me.  I just want my family to be proud of me and supportive, not judgemental and separate.  My father gave up his rights to me when I was young because he didn't want to take care of me, yet he took my kids and even though I have changed and am now taking care of my kids, they still hate me.  I had even lost a pregnancy at 19 weeks and had a funeral for my son and my family did not even come.  I am 26 yrs. old.  I still need my family.  Oh, and my mom?  She left me when I was two.  I found her when I was eighteen.  I have seven sisters.  She kept them....  Anyways, I live in Texas and she lives in Washington, so you can see that relationship....  I am all alone...  I do have my husband, kids, and my Granny.... :)  I just wonder if I'll be invited to Christmas this year.  Do I want to be?
I know that you already know this, and hearing it from a stranger you've never met might not mean squat... But I just really want to tell you that i am so proud of you. Not many people have the strength it takes to turn their life around after addiction. I know that once an addict, always and addict, but you continue to make your life the way you want it. I wish I had your strength. I hate that your family has abandoned you, even after all your successes. I too feel what its like to not have family, not nearly to your degree, but i know how much it hurts. The only advice i can offer about them is... They are going to do what they are going to do and there is nothing you can do about it. You have already done everything in your power to be the person you need to be; and you did it for yourself. If they can't respect you for that, don't wait around for them to. You have your own family now. Your old family may not want you, but you know damn well that your new family does. Take the love that you want from your old family, and put all that energy and love into your new family, and one day, you might accept your old families decision and love yourself enough to be okay with it. My heart goes out to you, and congratulations! -Ashley
 
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