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Topic : 08/22 Ultimate Moochers

Number of Replies: 25
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, August 19, 2005, 03:10:08 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original airdate 05/16/05)  They borrow money and don't pay you back. They're unemployed and never pay rent. If you're tired of a loved one's freeloading ways, Dr. Phil has advice for stopping the handouts. Ryan, 29, says he's living the life of "a starving artist," but his sisters say he's just a moocher. He even tries to mooch off Dr. Phil! Then, Jennell says her husband has turned her into a moocher by forcing her to ask her own mother to pay their bills. Will he give up his dreams of playing poker professionally or keep gambling with his marriage? Talk about the show here.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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August 22, 2005, 6:00 pm CDT

How are things NOW???

I realize this was taped awhile ago. My question is to Jennell or Springer now? Are you still together? Did he get a job? Are things going better.? What is the current status of the situation?
 
August 22, 2005, 6:15 pm CDT

08/22 Ultimate Moochers

It is obvious that the gambler does not have his priorites straight and he needs to change  if he plans to continue his marriage. I am not certain that the marriage was based on love.  The wife gave me the impression that she married for money, not love.   In the interview, the wife talked about her marriage to the "Jones Boy" and how everyone wanted to marry a "Jones Boy" because of their money and places in society.  She did not talk about their loving courtship. She only spoke of money, money, money.  I think it is great that she wants to be a stay at home mom and I hope that she can stay home as long as she wishes.  I know it must be devastating to deal with an illness. I hope that others have learned that you can't marry for money or marry someone because "it is cool to marry into a certain family".  Every family has issues.
 
August 22, 2005, 7:49 pm CDT

No guts nonsense!

Quote From: washedup

I am the mother of the Moocher.  I know it is my fault but I have no guts to get him out.  He is my son.  It really came to a head last year after my husband passed away.  His wife also left him the same month.  So he moved in with me to "Help me out".  And share our lonelyness.  He does work.  He pays his child support to 2 different wives.  And he pays his ranch payment.  That's it!  He drives my truck that I make the payments on and the insurance payments on.  Plus all the maintence on.  He has a truck.  It's sitting in my yard.  Flat tire and uses lots of gas.  Until the past 2 months he has given me no money.  Now I get 150 a month.  His take home is about 500 a month after all his deductions.  My husband did not have much insurance and after paying his expenses there was not much left.  We have gone though that now I live on a VA pension that does not pay the bills.  Yet I do not have the guts to tell him to move home.  His electric has been cut off and his water well is busted.  Neither of us has the money to get that fixed.  So here I am feeling sorry for him but I hate myself for it.  I want him out on his own and let me sink on my own without his help.  He is 35 years old.  What do I do?  How do I get the guts to do it?
 You don't have the guts to throw him out because you want him right where he is regardless of what it does to him or eventually to you.  You son is NOT a replacement for your husband.  Let him go and make his own life and you make yours.  He's been married twice and is living with his mommie.  Don't you think it's time you stepped up to the plate and acted like a loving mother?
 
August 22, 2005, 8:20 pm CDT

08/22 Ultimate Moochers

Quote From: washedup

I am the mother of the Moocher.  I know it is my fault but I have no guts to get him out.  He is my son.  It really came to a head last year after my husband passed away.  His wife also left him the same month.  So he moved in with me to "Help me out".  And share our lonelyness.  He does work.  He pays his child support to 2 different wives.  And he pays his ranch payment.  That's it!  He drives my truck that I make the payments on and the insurance payments on.  Plus all the maintence on.  He has a truck.  It's sitting in my yard.  Flat tire and uses lots of gas.  Until the past 2 months he has given me no money.  Now I get 150 a month.  His take home is about 500 a month after all his deductions.  My husband did not have much insurance and after paying his expenses there was not much left.  We have gone though that now I live on a VA pension that does not pay the bills.  Yet I do not have the guts to tell him to move home.  His electric has been cut off and his water well is busted.  Neither of us has the money to get that fixed.  So here I am feeling sorry for him but I hate myself for it.  I want him out on his own and let me sink on my own without his help.  He is 35 years old.  What do I do?  How do I get the guts to do it?
I think you just need to have a meeting with him and tell him how you are feeling and all about him being there and that you feel that it is time for him to move on and get on with his life. Maybe have some resources ready for him such as catalogs with apartments, tell him to go to www.apartments.com and and to follow the instructions, there are many options there and has info on apartments, locations, rent amount..... If you want him out then you are the one that is going to have to make it happen, he is 35 years old and it is time to let him grow up, how do you get the guts? just do it! Like I said in my lasts posts, even God expects us to help ourselves, you can only do so much for some one and there comes a times a time when we just have to let go, and say I love and care for you but I cannot go on like this (whatever you want to say).......................................
 
August 22, 2005, 9:18 pm CDT

I think I might be one...

The show kind of freaked me out because my boyfriend and I are so underemployed right now, and we've had to borrow money, and I just called my mother to loan me money for school books.  I'm going to pay her back as soon as I get my financial aid (and, hopefully, pay my other debts, but I find it so hard to keep it together financially.  I'm 42, and started college at 34.  I'm in my second semester of grad school right now, and I had a summer job, but it was part-time and my boyfriend was briefly unemployed too (this is not the first time this has happened).  I want to suceed in life, but sometimes it seems like the older I get, the harder it is to make ends meet.
 
August 23, 2005, 9:14 am CDT

Jannell ...I felt for you

When I saw jannelle's segment I was glued to the set... I went through a not so different situation this last year and a half and listening to her story unfold brought things all crashing back.. in 1998 my husband and I opened a tech related company and prospered in the boom that went along with it.. we had the great house, fancy cars, all the trappings of a succsessful life.. Then 9/11.. Enron, and the tech bust happened... all of the things associated with that great life started to slip away... my husband went into a funk.. and pretty soon we couldn't pay the mortgage on our home, the bills, registrations & insurance for the cars, or the rent on our company offices... we lost our behinds litterally.. still..my husband could not let go.. he was in denial, and because of that denial..we lost another 50 grand to pay for attorneys when our landlord sued us for unpaid rent for our offices.. it was an all time low in our marriage.. we were constantly robbing peter to pay paul just to eat and keep the lights on..Like Janelle, I too sold clothing, shoes & purses, jewelry and posessions on e-bay in a desperate attempt to generate money..and one time durring the 4 (four) forclusure proceedings that were generated against our home ...we got to within 6 days of our home being auctioned off! thankfully my inlaws were able to bail us out long enough for us to sell the home and start over.. We moved to a new city used the equity from the sale of our home to purchase a much smaller and significantly less extravagent home that we could afford. We no longer own the business, my husband has taken a very humbling job working as an auto mechanic working for his brother in his tire repair shop, and we have learned to appreciate the things that money cannot buy... love got us through it... I can only hope that Jannelles husband grows up, gets help for his gambling addiction and realizes that he has responsibilities that are more important that his pie in the sky fantasy of winning the world series of poker..   
 
September 8, 2005, 8:53 am CDT

Moocher

Dr Phil:  

  

I can totally relate! I have a 32 married son with two kids that can not hold a job! Don't get me wrong he is very talented! He remodled my bath room from top to botton, plumbing, electricy everything. He also is a wiz on computers he he can fix them when you get a viris. In the last three years he has worked construction.  So far this year he has worked in four different companies. Its either they don't like me or they offended me or they won't pay me.   

Over the years my ex husband and I have gotten him out of jams (money) and he also lived with me for what was going to be one month to one and a half years and in that time wrecked my second car (and blew it off and asked if my insurance company was going to give him some money) (I was appaled) plus he didn't work. His wife and kids were at her mothers.  

Well you'll be proud of me because when I gave him the boot last year and gave him a date to get out I also told him that I would not give him one more cent! Don't get me wrong he has asked and even begged, but I did not fork out one cent. (Mind you it hurt me like hell.)  

Any way so far he has held this job for four months. (this year)  

Also not to mention he buys things for him self and not necesities for his family. And he also would go grocery shopping at my house. (I put a stop to that) too.  

  

Cross your fingers that he keeps this job  

Grace  

 
September 8, 2005, 9:06 am CDT

To Mother of Moocher

Quote From: washedup

I am the mother of the Moocher.  I know it is my fault but I have no guts to get him out.  He is my son.  It really came to a head last year after my husband passed away.  His wife also left him the same month.  So he moved in with me to "Help me out".  And share our lonelyness.  He does work.  He pays his child support to 2 different wives.  And he pays his ranch payment.  That's it!  He drives my truck that I make the payments on and the insurance payments on.  Plus all the maintence on.  He has a truck.  It's sitting in my yard.  Flat tire and uses lots of gas.  Until the past 2 months he has given me no money.  Now I get 150 a month.  His take home is about 500 a month after all his deductions.  My husband did not have much insurance and after paying his expenses there was not much left.  We have gone though that now I live on a VA pension that does not pay the bills.  Yet I do not have the guts to tell him to move home.  His electric has been cut off and his water well is busted.  Neither of us has the money to get that fixed.  So here I am feeling sorry for him but I hate myself for it.  I want him out on his own and let me sink on my own without his help.  He is 35 years old.  What do I do?  How do I get the guts to do it?

Dear Mother:  

   

Write him a letter. It worked for me. That is what I did to my Moocher Son he is married and has two children.  

I was able to say a lot more in the letter than I would have been able to do with words. It ended up being a five page letter but it worked. I even put a date down.  

I started by telling it was my fault that he was so irresponsible. And that now I was going to make him responsible.  

I hope this helps  

   

Good Luck  

Grace  

 
September 16, 2005, 7:26 pm CDT

It's Jennell - Want an Update?

 The update for our situation will be aired Friday, 9/23/05.  It was taped the first week of September.  Please watch the update to see what happened.
 
September 17, 2005, 9:09 pm CDT

I am shocked at your assumptions!

Quote From: mommyme

It is obvious that the gambler does not have his priorites straight and he needs to change  if he plans to continue his marriage. I am not certain that the marriage was based on love.  The wife gave me the impression that she married for money, not love.   In the interview, the wife talked about her marriage to the "Jones Boy" and how everyone wanted to marry a "Jones Boy" because of their money and places in society.  She did not talk about their loving courtship. She only spoke of money, money, money.  I think it is great that she wants to be a stay at home mom and I hope that she can stay home as long as she wishes.  I know it must be devastating to deal with an illness. I hope that others have learned that you can't marry for money or marry someone because "it is cool to marry into a certain family".  Every family has issues.
 If you truly listened to the show no where does it say Jennell married for money.  Remeber it was Springer who blew $100,000 not Jennell.  Jennell was scrimping to pay necessary bills such as electricity and water while Springer was out gambling.  When Jennell married Springer she owned a modest condo and a car.  Springer owed huged amounts of debt, had no income and rented a studio apartment.  There is no way Jennell married for money. He had nothing and owed much.  Jennell married Springer because he was a "jones boy" meaning they were highly respected in the church and backbones of the church. The boys were good looking and popular.  Money was never something the Jones family had more of than the average family. Don't quit your day job because listening, assuming and reasoning are not your greatest asset. Before you post for Dr. Phil and staff to see as well as millions in the world make sure you  truly listened to the story and your assumptions have some sort of truth to back them up.
 
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