Message Boards

Topic : 08/24 Reunited

Number of Replies: 50
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, August 19, 2005, 03:17:32 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original airdate 04/20/05) Dr. Phil looks at the pain of being separated from someone you love. Susan was only 15 when she placed her baby for adoption. She soon returned to high school, where she was then tormented by her classmates. After 27 years, is Susan emotionally prepared to confront the classmate who she says made her life hell? And where is her daughter now? Join the discussion and share your thoughts.

 

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

Read previous messages in the archived discussion.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

August 24, 2005, 1:52 pm CDT

Get over it reply

Quote From: lealarry

In watching the show with Susan and EJ I just wanted to scream.  Susan should get over it!  I really hate that she experienced teasing in school.  I did too.  It wasn't as severe as Susan feels her's was, but I did get teased.  I didn't hold on to that.  Most people don't hold on to that.  EJ said she was teased and moved on.  It's really sad that she's established herself on the cruel comments that were alledgely made by someone else.  Put the crutch down.  I could have shaken her through the TV when she said she didn't go to college because she was teased.  Bull crap!  It's no ones fault, but your own, if you didn't further your education or yourself.  If I were EJ I would not be your scapegoat when it comes to your education or your self esteem.  Let it go.  You may need counseling or God, but you have got to figure out what you're missing in your life that makes you harbor all this resentment towards someone else.  EJ should truly be admired for coming on TV and taking all of this because in my opinion it was a waste.  Susan should be taking care of her own personal issues not confronting EJ.  Just my opinion. 
I agree that Susan should get over it.  You can not blame your entire adult life on things like that.  The show yesterday(although it was a repeat) had teens that had HORRIBLE experiences to overcome, and yet they are going to go on and do great things.  I hate it that she was teased.  Most of us have similar stories - but thats the point.  Most of us share similar stories, and do not spend our entire adult life avoiding and blaming.  I think that Susan is a Drama Queen.
 
August 24, 2005, 1:53 pm CDT

Forgive and Forget

 It's time for Susan to forget about high school. That was 30 years ago. She can't blame other people for all her problems. Others may have played a part, but ultimately her future problems were her own fault.
 
August 24, 2005, 2:20 pm CDT

ej saving face

Quote From: nynavey

I believe she remembers Susan, and remembers the torment. I think she's embarrassed deeply by it now. It's a shame she couldn't just face things and be an adult. By "forgetting", she diminished the satisfaction Susan could have got from this meeting.

I agree with you that ej remembers susan but is trying to save face. She made a comment that her mother is going to be upset with her when se sees the show. I am sure that ej remembers susan and probably remembers everything mean and nasty little thing she said and did. She was shedding tears but those tears were tears of frustration and surprise that susan after 30 years had so much hurt and angry towards her. Ej thinks she is better than susan and to be confronted face to face with her probably frightened her. What goes around comes around. At some point in ej's life her past will catch up with her again. I will bet there are other girls she and her friends tormented and those kinds of hurts takes a long time to heal. Not everyone is thick skinned and just shake verbal abuse off and name calling do hurt. Sometime names hurt worst than the physical actions of mean spirited girls. I do hope that susan is now able to heal and get on with her life. Ej is not wasting any time on anymore. 

Susan has her daughter and granddaughter now and I pray they will be the healing touch that she needs. Life can and will be good to her if she allows it to be. I would never trust ej to be part of my life because her "sorry" was weak. She impress me that she is someone who would laugh in your face and stab you in the back. But left forgiveness come for susan and her family and goodby to ej and her stuck up friends. 

 
August 24, 2005, 2:27 pm CDT

Look alike

Susan and her daughter look so much alike. I pray that they will both be happy now that they have found each other. I also pray that susan can put ej in the back of her mind but learn a valuable lesson after thirty years. "Ej is not worth her time of day and she can take back her power just by moving on with her life." 

Good luck to susan and her daughter and granddaughter. This was a good lesson for me and I plan on taking back my power from someone who abused me years ago. I had not thought of this man for many years and then a few months ago I thought of him on the bus and all those ugly memories returned to haunt me everyday since. I can't understand why. I have prayed for this man's death because I would not want him to hurt another woman as her hurt me. Now I am just praying that I never ever see him again in life. God has been good to me and I trust him to continue to be good to me in all areas of my life. This is what I hope for for Susan. 

 
August 24, 2005, 2:42 pm CDT

Get on

PLEASE MOVE ON AND GET OVER IT.  Why would anyone dwell on something like this for 30 years.  I believe the way we are treated as youngsters impact the way we see ourselves as adults but to keep vigil over the hatred of one person for 30 years who clearly has nothing to do with my future is insane.  So what if the cheerleader doesn't remember, she has moved on from high school.  I remember things from high school (34 years ago) but I would be nuts to hold a grudge against anyone from then.   

  

Dr. Phil is not doing her any favors by feeling so sorry for her and talking to EJ like she was a monster.  That only validates holding on to it all those years. 

 
August 24, 2005, 2:50 pm CDT

08/24 Reunited

Quote From: lealarry

In watching the show with Susan and EJ I just wanted to scream.  Susan should get over it!  I really hate that she experienced teasing in school.  I did too.  It wasn't as severe as Susan feels her's was, but I did get teased.  I didn't hold on to that.  Most people don't hold on to that.  EJ said she was teased and moved on.  It's really sad that she's established herself on the cruel comments that were alledgely made by someone else.  Put the crutch down.  I could have shaken her through the TV when she said she didn't go to college because she was teased.  Bull crap!  It's no ones fault, but your own, if you didn't further your education or yourself.  If I were EJ I would not be your scapegoat when it comes to your education or your self esteem.  Let it go.  You may need counseling or God, but you have got to figure out what you're missing in your life that makes you harbor all this resentment towards someone else.  EJ should truly be admired for coming on TV and taking all of this because in my opinion it was a waste.  Susan should be taking care of her own personal issues not confronting EJ.  Just my opinion. 
I totaly agree. I am a recovering addict and one thing we learn is that resentments are our enemy they keep us down and using. Susan should definately get over it. I too was teased horrendously in high school. Why doesn't Dr. Phil tell Susan to get over it. Another thing we learn in revocery is that what other people think about us is none of our business. I don't believe that she didn't go to college becuase of this women. Maybe Susan needs to deal with the way she felt about herself for getting pregnant so young. Is it possible that she has blown this up into something bigger then it was? Maybe, E.J. and her friends did tease Susan, but it is possible that the way she felt about herself has caused her to believe that the teasing was more then it was.
 
August 24, 2005, 2:58 pm CDT

bigger person

I just watched the rest of the show.  It is clear that the daughter given up for adoption is a bigger person than her mother.  She wanted her bio mother to see that adoption didn't end her life and she can be a good mother herself and has moved forward with her life.  The mother can't even get over being teased in high school 30 years before. 

  

The mother was teased in high school. 

  

The daughter was given up at birth. 

  

You do the math. 

 
August 24, 2005, 3:00 pm CDT

get over it

Susan should get over it. Who holds onto something form high school? I remember the cheerleader girls who teased me, but oh well, am I going to take them on national t.v. and cry about it? I don't think Susan stayed out of college because of this women. That's on her. When do you grow up and start taking repsonsibilty for your own feelings. I am a recovering addict and one thing we learn is that no one can make us feel a certain way we choose to feel that way. It is up to us as adults to either decide to let someone have power over us and our feelings or decide not to let other people affect us.  I get to choose my feelings and what affects me and I choose not to let high school bother me anymore.
 
August 24, 2005, 3:01 pm CDT

08/24 Reunited

Quote From: sherrytee

I am posting this message because I see that this show is airing again today.I would like people to know that the bullying that can occur in school can stay with you for a lifetime.I am now a 40 year old woman married with kids of my own. I continue to live with the emotional scars of being bullied in school.I was a good student who absolutely loved school until I entered the 7th grade.Thats when all the kids in our community go to one school to attend middle years. The boys and girls were awful to me. I was not aloud to wear makeup or have my hair long, and of course that in itself singled me out. I was caught at my locker each morning my books torn to shreds thrown around, kicked many times in the small of my back. The reason that was told to me was this is what you do with ugly dogs.Teachers turned there backs and did nothing to help me. They even went so far as to tell me it is probably my own fault.I endured this until grade 11. By then I had lost all hope of a boyfriend or a friend in school. I didn't care about myself or school work. I simply wanted to lay down and die.Long story shorter I quit school, never reached my dream of the prom, going to nursing school. So next time somone says to you people or your kids hey it's not a big deal it will pass please stop and  think  about this message. It doesn't pass it never will!!

  Hey Sherrytree, that's pretty horrible what happened to you in school, with getting beat up and all, and then the authority figures do nothing to enforce the rules.  Obviously they were too chicken to get involved.     

  To all the people who say to just get over it, they are only half right, especially if they were never victims of violence that went un-punished by authorities, in addition to being psycologically abused.   

  To Jada ok, I'm glad you got over your pizza face, and the teacher shouldn't have picked on you for your speech impediment.  It's cool that you could stand up for your self, but some people can't, I don't know why.  You probably learned how to stand up for yourself  from your mother, whether you are aware of it or not.     

  Yours and the comments of some other people's are incompassionate, and are far too simplistic and demeaning.   

  Back to Sherrytree-I think you will feel better once you go to nursing school, (there are special programs for people your demographic to get them to return to school) and you will also feel better maybe by taking some self defense or martial arts classes and work out some anger by kicking butt.     

When you return to nursing school you may also be pleasantly surprised by how you are treated at the college level.  I know that where I go, the adults normally make better grades than the rest of us, because they work harder at it because they are nervous about going back to school.    

I say go for it- It might actually turn out to be a kind of healing experience.   

 
August 24, 2005, 3:02 pm CDT

08/24 Reunited

Quote From: berlytowns

PLEASE MOVE ON AND GET OVER IT.  Why would anyone dwell on something like this for 30 years.  I believe the way we are treated as youngsters impact the way we see ourselves as adults but to keep vigil over the hatred of one person for 30 years who clearly has nothing to do with my future is insane.  So what if the cheerleader doesn't remember, she has moved on from high school.  I remember things from high school (34 years ago) but I would be nuts to hold a grudge against anyone from then.   

  

Dr. Phil is not doing her any favors by feeling so sorry for her and talking to EJ like she was a monster.  That only validates holding on to it all those years. 

He wasn't talking to EJ like she was a monster. He was Trying to be fair.
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | Next | Last