I have always been tall and thin. I have also been judged because of it and attacked because of it. From women in particular. I don't believe it is intentional, however, some people seem to feel free to actually say, and I quote " I hate you because you can eat whatever you want and not gain weight." "Hate me?"I am always blown away but will never retort, "I hate you because you can eat, put on a few pounds and look normal." They have no idea how much I try to put on weight. It has been a life struggle. When I was a child my parents tried giving me medicine that would increase my appetite so I could put on a few pounds, with my metabolism it does NOT work. I have actually had parents of friends once upon a time in high school call my parents concerned that I have an eating disorder. I have always been, about average in HS 20 lbs under what my ideal weight for my height is. I am 5'8" in HS was 100lbs at 37 am now 120lbs. (Not an inch of weight goes to my arms or legs) Would it have ever been acceptable now or then for my Mother or me as a Mother to call another parent and tell them, " your daughter is 15-20 lbs overweight you should be concerned." NO!
I wouldn't hurt someone that way. It just seems that because I am thin, then it is okay. You would not believe the things people say to me, "you have such skinny arms/legs" ( Is that a compliment? If it is I guess don't get it.) You are so bonny, you need to eat more girl put a little meat on your bones. Shoot, my Aunt's nickname for me is "Bones" let see, it's been Skinny Minny, Olive Oil, Daddy Long legs, chicken legs etc... the latest was my neighbor talking to our tween kids saying boys don't like skinny girls and my daughter looked directly at me and the neighbor was like "OOPS" "What if I said boys don't like overweight girls". she would have been totally offended she is full figured but because I am thin I am not supposed to be offended? I do not like my body image anymore then some one on the opposite side of the spectrum likes there's.
My mother always told me that women will not like me initially because I was tall and thin. She is 5'2" and a full figured woman. I don't know, maybe I let that jade my opinion or maybe not, but through life experience I have found that to be true and I think it is so unfair. I do my best to be a good and honest person. I do not say or do anything intentionally to cause any pain to anyone, I go out of my way not to, and internalize things because it's easier for me to carry then to put it on anyone else.
I guess my point is beauty is relevant to each individual. It should not be an external thing, all of that is fleeting. Gravity will affect it all and in the end what we are left with is who we are. What really matter is who a person is inside. That is what lasts. That is what truly counts.
(Original Air Date: 09/16/05) How important do you think looks really are? And, do you think attractive people get treated better in society? Dr. Phil's son, Jay, goes out in disguise to see if people really do judge a book by its cover. You won't believe the results, nor the response that surprised him the most! Plus, Debi favors her older daughter because she’s "beautiful" and treats her youngest like "dirt" because she's "fat and unattractive." Can Dr. Phil help her love both girls equally? And, Michelle only lets her daughter play with pretty kids on the playground because she equates beauty with success in life. Will she learn to re-evaluate her standards? Tell us your thoughts on today's show.
