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Topic : 10/05 Moms: Cut the Chaos

Number of Replies: 188
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Created on : Friday, September 30, 2005, 03:36:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Moms do everything from kissing scraped knees, to being taxi drivers to coaching soccer — all at the same time! Ginger says she is overwhelmed by all the cooking, cleaning, driving and disciplining she has to do for her five children. She says her husband doesn't pitch in because he thinks it's a woman's job. Next, Amy says that with three kids under the age of 6, her house is in utter chaos. Her husband, Jeremie, doesn't know how to help, so Dr. Phil sends in "The Mom Squad" to help Amy get her household in order. And, Lexi says the way her mom dresses embarrasses her, and she pleads with Dr. Phil to help. Learn how to organize your life and even enjoy some "Mom Time." Are you a stressed out mom? Tell us!

 

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October 1, 2005, 11:03 pm CDT

moms in chaos

Hi I am a mom of 5 babies all under the age of 7. I am also currently expecting a baby in Feb. I love what I do (being a mom). Most of the time our home is in massive chaos. My kids are very sweet but then can turn in a dime, and are buligerent and sometimes violent.  I am trying to get my kids to respect our rules and respect everyone at all times. But that's not working since we moved to this neighborhood. I can't afford to move right now , so does anyone have any advice that just might work? 

 Over all they are good kids just a bad neighhborhood enviornment. (kids in the neighborhood) 

                                  Any good advice is very welcomed.  

                                                     Thank You so much, 

                                                                            luckeymoma 

 
October 2, 2005, 9:15 pm CDT

10/05 Moms: Cut the Chaos

Quote From: luckeymoma

Hi I am a mom of 5 babies all under the age of 7. I am also currently expecting a baby in Feb. I love what I do (being a mom). Most of the time our home is in massive chaos. My kids are very sweet but then can turn in a dime, and are buligerent and sometimes violent.  I am trying to get my kids to respect our rules and respect everyone at all times. But that's not working since we moved to this neighborhood. I can't afford to move right now , so does anyone have any advice that just might work? 

 Over all they are good kids just a bad neighhborhood enviornment. (kids in the neighborhood) 

                                  Any good advice is very welcomed.  

                                                     Thank You so much, 

                                                                            luckeymoma 

Not knowing all the details, the best advice I can give is to keep your children away from the neighborhood children if they aren't good influences.  Do you attend a church?  If so, try to set up "play dates" for your children with children from your church.  It would be an opportunity for you as well to interact with other adults.  If you don't attend church, you could try looking for play groups in the area. 
 
October 3, 2005, 11:48 am CDT

Stay at home mom

  

  I am a 24 year old stay at home mom with a 2 1/2 year old and a one year old. Both girls. I am in the midst of potty training my 2 year old and I can't seem to get her to go. Some people say that she'll go when she is ready, but I think she is old enough. If you ask her where she is suppose to go pee pee she will tell you on the potty. I am running out of ideas. What do I Do? 

 
October 3, 2005, 6:34 pm CDT

10/05 Moms: Cut the Chaos

To all the men out there who thinks it is not his job to cook, clean and take of the children. GET OVER IT. You are the parent just as the mother is and you helped create this child. My husband works and helps with his children and even does other things around the house, yes, I may do the majority of it, my husabnd respects and values his wife and children, I even get time ut with friends and he wills tay home with the kids and yep, prepare dinner for them at times, That is A REAL man. Taking care of a family takes two committed people who love, respects and cares for one another and it is about balance, Every one, including mothers need a break and some time out alone once in a while just like you men do, so grow up and step up to the plate and help take care of your family.
 
October 3, 2005, 9:40 pm CDT

10/05 Moms: Cut the Chaos

Quote From: serene

  

  I am a 24 year old stay at home mom with a 2 1/2 year old and a one year old. Both girls. I am in the midst of potty training my 2 year old and I can't seem to get her to go. Some people say that she'll go when she is ready, but I think she is old enough. If you ask her where she is suppose to go pee pee she will tell you on the potty. I am running out of ideas. What do I Do? 

I can tell you what worked with my two girls.  When you first start out, put the potty in the bathroom right next to the toilet, and everytime you need to go, bring her in with you and have her try.  After a couple of weeks, I brought the potty out into the living room (so they could be the center of attention).  I brought them to the store and let them pick out their own "big girl underwear".  In my opinion, they learn much quicker in underwear versus pull ups.  It's a bit more work, but worth it in the end.  My middle daughter picked out Dora underwear and I said, "Now we don't want to pee on Dora do we?"  When they wear underwear instead of pull ups, they can tell when they're wet easier and therefore, learn faster.  I think the most important thing is to MAKE IT FUN!!!  Don't get upset or try to push too hard because it will backfire.  (It happened to me).  When she does go on the potty, do a "potty dance" around the potty and make her feel extra special.  You might feel silly, but it worked for us! :-)
 
October 4, 2005, 12:08 am CDT

10/05 Moms: Cut the Chaos

Quote From: serene

  

  I am a 24 year old stay at home mom with a 2 1/2 year old and a one year old. Both girls. I am in the midst of potty training my 2 year old and I can't seem to get her to go. Some people say that she'll go when she is ready, but I think she is old enough. If you ask her where she is suppose to go pee pee she will tell you on the potty. I am running out of ideas. What do I Do? 

Dear Serene, 

I am also a mom with two girls.  I think you should listen to the advice you've been given.  Your daughter just may not be ready.  There really isn't a specific age a child should be in order to be potty trained.  Children develop individually.  (I know, I know... your mom's kids and your grandmothers kids and your mothr-in-law's kids and everyone else's kids were all trained at 18 months, right?...Liars!).  I understand your desire to potty train considering you have two children in diapers.  In my experience forcing my daughters into potty training only seemed to cause power struggles.  What has worked best for me is positive reinforcement.  For example, make a chart (however you like), put it on the fridge in plain sight, and each time your daughter uses the bathroom give her a sticker to add to the chart.  Give her a weekly goal (2 stickers per day to equal 10 at the end of the week) and have a special prize at the end of the week.  I rewarded with inexpensive items (ice cream cone/a toy from the Dollar Store) and then had a grand prize after 4 weeks (just choose something you know she would like).  My oldest daughter was closer to age 3 before she was potty trained and even then she still had an occasional accident.  Choose your battles. 

 
October 4, 2005, 8:28 am CDT

Stay at Home Mom

Quote From: wenki2

Dear Serene, 

I am also a mom with two girls.  I think you should listen to the advice you've been given.  Your daughter just may not be ready.  There really isn't a specific age a child should be in order to be potty trained.  Children develop individually.  (I know, I know... your mom's kids and your grandmothers kids and your mothr-in-law's kids and everyone else's kids were all trained at 18 months, right?...Liars!).  I understand your desire to potty train considering you have two children in diapers.  In my experience forcing my daughters into potty training only seemed to cause power struggles.  What has worked best for me is positive reinforcement.  For example, make a chart (however you like), put it on the fridge in plain sight, and each time your daughter uses the bathroom give her a sticker to add to the chart.  Give her a weekly goal (2 stickers per day to equal 10 at the end of the week) and have a special prize at the end of the week.  I rewarded with inexpensive items (ice cream cone/a toy from the Dollar Store) and then had a grand prize after 4 weeks (just choose something you know she would like).  My oldest daughter was closer to age 3 before she was potty trained and even then she still had an occasional accident.  Choose your battles. 

  

   I just wanted to thank you for the advice. This morning when I got up I was on the phone with my husband and she went all by herself! I didn't even sit her on the potty! I think we are making progress. We do have a reward system and I think she is on her way. I do the potty dance and I terr her she is a big girl and all the positive stuff that I am suppose to do. I guess maybe she wanted to do it in her own time. Thanks so much for the advice. 

  

Serene 

 
October 4, 2005, 11:05 am CDT

Its not fair

 I'm 21 stay at home mom with a 19 month old, which would not be bad except I also take care of 2 other kids and clean up after the kids, my husband, roomate and their friends. It dose not matter how many times I ask for people to clean up they never do except my husband,somtimes. no wonder I feel so stressed  all the time
 
October 4, 2005, 1:44 pm CDT

10/05 Moms: Cut the Chaos

I am a mother of 2girls and1 boy.  My son Triton has mood swings, he's only 3.  My husband says I baby him cause the middle child but I feel I'm harder on him. He's al time time hitting,biting pinching, throwing things at his older sister. I've done everything I could think of even throwing away every toy he owned. Time-out, spanking everything .  I feel I'm felling as a mom.  I can't stand taking him in public cause I know it's gonna be chaos. But his teacher says he is excellant in class.  Any advice   

Bridget 

 
October 4, 2005, 2:43 pm CDT

10/05 Moms: Cut the Chaos

Quote From: briphi2

I am a mother of 2girls and1 boy.  My son Triton has mood swings, he's only 3.  My husband says I baby him cause the middle child but I feel I'm harder on him. He's al time time hitting,biting pinching, throwing things at his older sister. I've done everything I could think of even throwing away every toy he owned. Time-out, spanking everything .  I feel I'm felling as a mom.  I can't stand taking him in public cause I know it's gonna be chaos. But his teacher says he is excellant in class.  Any advice   

Bridget 

 I know you've probably heard this a million times, but it's SO important!  Be consistent!!  There needs to be set consequences for misbehavior and no matter what, don't back down!  It's easier to give in, but don't!  We have three children, ages 4, 5, and 4months.  (Our 4 year old just  turned 4).  We used the 1-2-3 Magic method with them and surprisingly it works like a charm!!  When we first read about it, we thought it was the biggest load we'd ever heard, but we tried it anyway, and we saw results immediately!  I highly recommend the book.  It's called 1-2-3 Magic.  It's great at addressing "stop" behaviors.  Don't argue, yell, negotiate, or explain.  Simply say, "one" when he starts throwing a tantrum.  Wait a few seconds.  If he continues, say "two", and if he continues again, say "three" and send him up to his room (or some other "time out" place) for time out.  (one minute for every year of age, so it would be 3 minutes for your son).  They catch on quickly, and soon, they will stop before you get to 3! 
 
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