Topic : 06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"

  

At the age of three, my grandson loved to wear my high heels, silky fabrics, and loved anything pink.  He prefered playing with little girls, and loved all girl toys.  "Boy" toys had NO interest for him.   

  

He is now five and a half, and nothilng has changed.  He had his first bad experience this year in kindergarten.  He earned a "prize"  and was given his choice of items in a Treasure Box.  He chose a small doll with a pnk dress.  The other boys made fun of him, and he was very upset. 

  

On the program today, Dr. Phil advised the parent of the 4 year old to relax and let him know if the situation does not change in six month.   

  

How does my daughter go about finding the "right" therapist for this problem?  They live in Jacksonville, FL, and there are some resources, but how does one go about finding an appropriate one? 

  

Help!!! 

As a faithful Christian active in my church, and the gay son of a retired Southern Baptist minister, I find many of the comments on this topic disturbingly hateful. My God is loving and welcoming, not feared and exclusionary. Too bad many of you don't have the same one--you're missing out! 

  

I grew up in the south where many residents seem to have the same negative attitudes about homosexuality that I've read here; however, many of them--as well as many of you--have gay friends and relatives who are closeted out of fear, or are ignored, frowned-upon, forgotten, or otherwise overlooked. (I think of the gay brother of a prominent business man in the church where my dad was pastor when I was in high school. You would think he'd be targeted for bashing, but people "overlook" it because he is seen as good person in an influential family.)  

  

I am a responsible Christian man, a loving son, faithful brother, favorite uncle, loyal friend, successful business man. respected alumnus of a prestigeous college, and a competitive athlete. My sexuality isn't an issue in these relationships or settings, nor should it be--but because of hateful and closed-minded people, I will remain to be publicly closeted. I do that out of respect for my dad and to deflect attention from myself, because of his prominence in our area and the perceived negativity given to being gay by many people. Also, I'm in a very quiet relationship with someone who is known in athletics in our area, and that would be a career killer for him. 

  

I'm sure many will discount it, but for the viewpoint of a minister, read Rev. Bruce W. Lowe's "Letter to Louise" regarding how the Bible really treats homosexuality. I found the website and letter by wandering around the internet a few years ago. Click on http://www.godmademegay.com/ and then on the link "Read the Letter." I hope it is an eye-opener for many of you. 

  

I'm thankful my dad had a ministry based on healing, love, and service to the Lord. He didn't hate me because of my sexuality, but loved me as his son who also shares his genetics and his name.  

  

There are many more thoughts in my head, but I'll close with this: God is Love. Remember that. 

  

D 

 It is kinda like the children raised with parents that smoke - they want to be grown up like their parents and smoke too.  Same with drinking.  Once we realize that something is not right or can hurt us,  it is a choice that we have to stop or get help in stopping.  I personally believe calling out to God for help is the best.  Alot of counselors today are in it for the money and create a bigger problem for the MONEY.

Hey, you are absolutly wright. Today so many people believe that if it feels wright then do it. We have the liberals in this country to thank for that. The futher we stray from God the more we as a nation will suffer from his rath. People just don't understand the consiquinces of their sins and what impact it has on the rest of us.  I 'am not perfact , and I do sin, but I know right from wrong. Being gay is very. wrong. I was surprised that Dr. Phill didn't say tha t," homosexuality  is genetic, because in a previous show he said," you are born that Way." I was very upset when he said that. He is pressured by Hollywood, I'am sure. If he said anything agianst gays, his show would be off the air in a heartbeat. I would  like  to see him do a show on partial birth abortion. This clearly is murder! and anyone who disagrees needs their heads examined.  I believe that the people that came up with this procedure and convinced many people that this was not muder, but merely a choice, could also come up with a "procedure , that once the baby was born full turm, delivered naturally, then kill it by whatever means it would take and call it abortion." People in this country would believe that this was not Murder , but just a choice by a woman. How sad we have become as humans. God have mercy on us.

Thank you my friend, you are right on the money! I too am tired of being pushed to accept the gay lifestyle. I am sick of having to turn my t.v. off just because of a gay on there saying I matter so deal with it! Yeah they matter as a person, but their lifestyle needs to be their business and leave all of us who fear the Lord out of it. I will do whatever I have to just to try and rehabilitate whoever is interested, and pray for those who aren't. I will never accept it because God's words are true and when left my sins at the cross I promised God to obey him and live by his word, and as long as I am alive I will never stop speaking God's word no matter how I am labeled. After all God warned we Christian's would not be accepted. But I do know I will stand before him in time and I have no worries about him turning away from me.

Do any of you christians research the history behind the bible? I've read up on it a little. A lot of the stories came from other religions before christians came along. A prime example would be Noah's Arc. This story has been found in many ancient cultures including the super-pagan ancient egyptians. ALSO most of the things condemned at the time were because of the spread of diseases and a cultural need to stop killing each other through sex and food. I think people should do some research on what their defending until they put on the holy hat.

That was my point... religion is a man-made entity, not a making of Jesus Christ, and the Bible was written by one of these "holy" men, which is why it's subjective to that particular man's wants, needs, and desires, these religions where women are not worthy enough to speak.  He is the supposed interpreter of God.  Ever seen the episode of South Park called "All About Mormans"?  It is entirely relevant to my point.  It speaks so much truth about our world and it's blind, and in many cases, ignorant faith.  I'd be happy to send it to you. 

  

Who among us can say with certainty that is was the true word of God recorded by these men?  Religion can be too easy manipulated to the gain of it's so-called "spiritual" leader.  They don't want people to achieve an independent relationship with God because it means they will lose a little bit of their own power.  If the word of God is golden, then he makes no mistakes, and everything happens for a reason.  So who are you to pick homosexuality out as something other than a natural intention of God?  Forgive me for being skeptical of so many who have sinned more than I ever could. 

  

I have a spiritual relationship with God.  The God who loves all of his creations.  I don't need to rely on any specific religion to aide me in my journey; I've been there, tried that.  It made no sense when I thought about it with the logic and thought that God gave me.  I am very aware that hate comes in all forms, but as is seen on this thread, the majority of people opposing the validity of homosexuality is using religion as it's justification.  Immediately they pull out their bibles and start preaching passages... they have no other basis for their judgments other than what has been seared into their minds from religious men.  It is these religious men and their own sins and hypocrisy that have tainted the religious entities for me today.   I will not ignore the disgraceful behavior of these men in the name of God no matter how many times you recite your subjective view of the Bible. 

Too funny!!  I had to laugh when I read this because when I sent my best friend a picture of my sons "friend" as he calls him..her comment was "all the cute ones are gay!"  Except for our husbands that is :o)

Quote from the "slides" section related to the show: 

  

**Dr. Phil wants to distinguish between changing behavior and changing orientation. “You change the behavior, I don’t think anybody would disagree with that, but what you’re saying is, it shouldn’t be counted as a success if somebody goes and lives a life that is not their authentic self, but yet doesn’t practice a gay sexual relationship with somebody,” he says to Justin.

“There is a lot of pressure in ex-gay ministries to say that you’ve completely changed, whether or not that’s the case,” Justin points out.

David chimes in, “That is a complete misrepresentation of ex-gay ministries, in what we ask of people.”

“That’s why I’m always very skeptical of simply accepting anyone saying, ‘I used to be this, and now I am this,” Justin says.

“It is a struggle,” David admits. “It takes many years for the orientation to change. And there are times when people fail. But it’s just like alcoholism. It takes time, and you have to really want to change, or it’s not going to happen.”** 

  

David tried to call Justin a liar when he tried to claim that Justin had had contact with only one ex-gay ministry and/or was only using one as his source. Justin corrected that misunderstanding.  

  

In regard to alcoholism, and David himself, he was a drug and alcohol abuser. As a believer in Jesus the Christ, I personally know that God can and still does instantly heal people of alcoholism and drug addictions. But, God has NEVER changed a person's sexual orientation. Oh, it's possible that God can change sexual orientation; but, there has never been any real proof of that by any ex-gay. 

  

Andy Comiskey, founder of the ex-gay ministry "Desert Streams," which is in cahoots with Exodus International, wrote in the 1980s, that after he had been married more than 20 years and had grown children, he still experienced physiological sexual attraction towards men on occasion. Comiskey was calling himself an ex-homosexual and even claimed that God changed him; but, in that article in a conservative Christian magazine, Charisma, he said he admitted to a gay man what I just wrote when he found out the guy was gay and attending Comiskey's home church.  

Anjela this is for you if you read it.  I was sitting there watching the show and I couldn't help but see something that didn't get brought up.  You grew up a Christian believing that being gay was a sin and horrible.  You want your family to accept your lifestyle.  But, have you been able to accept yourself?  Do you worry that they are judging you and you are fighting for that not to happen because you yourself judged prior to your decision to be gay?  I ask because I became a Christian 16yrs ago and was very "legalistic".  When I came to know and understand God's grace it was difficult for me not to believe that my closest friends weren't/don't judge me on things that I use to judge others on.  The Bible does speak specifically to same sex orientation in the Old and New Testament.  God's word does not change.  We do.  I believe that your Mother and Sister love you tremendously but don't agree with your sexual orientation.  That does not mean they don't love you or accept you.  You need to allow them room to love you without jumping on and celebrating something they don't agree with.  Sometimes, you have to leave some issues alone.  If you need someone to talk to about your emotional problems with your different relationships, get a friend that can listen and advise you in your sexual orientation.  It is not fair to ask them to do this when they don't agree.  You don't want them to only allow a relationship with you if you are straight.  You shouldn't only demand a relationship  that makes them focus on your sexual orientation.  You can all have a wonderful, loving, caring and healthy relationship. 

Funny thing is I wanted to put a disclaimer in here that I am not saying as a Christian this is ok because I am wondering what other Christians will be thinking if they read this.  But, when it comes down to it, God is interested in a relationship with you and that should be the priority.  The Bible calls it sin, just like lieing is a sin.  God sees sin all the same.  We as humans place the levels on it.  We will all have to answer for our sin either before we die or when we are face to face with our maker.  Stop judging yourself and accept that your Mom and Sister are not judging you.   

Please read this with the heart it was intended.  I can be honest and sometimes miss the cushion words.  May God Bless you and your family and I hope you can find a way to be comfortable in your relationship with them.