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Topic : 06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"

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Created on : Friday, October 14, 2005, 03:56:41 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/19/05) Sexual orientation used to be something kept hidden from family and co-workers, but now more and more people are "coming out" and finding acceptance. Anjela says her mother and sister don't support her sexual orientation, and feel she can't be Christian and gay at the same time. Can they reconcile this touchy issue? Then, two men debate whether a person can go from gay to straight, and parents of a 4-year-old boy fear their son's desire to play with dolls and wear heels means he'll grow up to be gay. Are they overreacting to his wishes to be a princess instead of a prince? Talk about gender and gay issues here.

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lazarltd

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October 17, 2005, 12:00 am PDT

gay is a lifestyle

Quote From: xbrooklyn

I'm not going to add to the ongoing bible study lesson here.

I believe in God (there is only one God).

I'm a lesbian. I don't believe it is a sin, nor do I believe I will burn in hell for being one. Gay is not a lifestyle. People don't choose to be gay.

What's is sad is all the hatred. I don't understand how people whom believe in God can preach so much hatred.

people choose to be gay they are not born that way. people who are born with genetic disorders can be help medically. people who choose to be gay choose a lifestye not a partner of the same sex. they have been hurt or worse in their adolesent years and so seek comfort for themselves.

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cgally81

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October 17, 2005, 5:13 am PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Only two messages right after mine, and both ignoring what I said.

Anyone care to try to answer my questions? If you ignore them, you are only proving my point. Are you afraid of an open debate?

Go back to my post and get ready to respond.

I'm tired of this "people choose to be gay" stuff. How do you know? I'm straight, and I never chose to be straight. It's not a lifestyle - I am single and a virgin, so how is my heterosexuality a lifestyle? Lifestyle is a way of life, sexual orientation is what gender you are attracted to.

Please go back and read my earlier post and be ready to respond to the questions there. If you ignore them, you look like to me as if you are admitting you are wrong and you don't have the facts to argue.

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lactivist

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October 17, 2005, 6:42 am PDT

Not a Choice

A hundred years ago, even less really, people thought being left handed was a sign of evil. The word origin of 'left' is 'sinistre' or sinister. Left-handers were forced to write right-handed. We've come a long way haven't we? We now realize that about 20% of the population is born left-handed and it's okay to be that way. The same is true of homosexuality: It's just the way you are. Just because we do not understand the biological mechanism of it doesn't mean it is evil, invalid or that we should try to transform gays into straights. How does someone's homosexuality affect you? It is not contagious! Let go of superstitious nonsense about gays and let them be what they are. It is not a lifestyle choice any more than being left or right-handed is. It's simply the way you are born.

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jolajane

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October 17, 2005, 7:18 am PDT

We do have a choice!!!!!!!!

I too can quote bible verses that align with the fact that being "gay" is not of God's intention. Only those who have a strong faith & belief in God & His word will acknowledge what He says. BUT, on another note....look at the animal kingdom. How many do you see "being" with the same gender? Then lets talk about the "gays" that wish to have children. NOW it 's OK for them to seek out the "opposite" gender for reproduction. They can't have it both ways, either you prefer your own kind or you don't. You can't go back & forth to suit a whim because you want to be a parent.

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bncfene

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October 17, 2005, 7:21 am PDT

Being Gay is the same thing as giving GOD the middle Finger

Being Gay is like sticking your middle finger to God...How wrong is that? Very wrong...Anyone that announces, performs, lives as a person that is gay is stricting going against what God tells us. Women are to take a husband...Men are to take a woman as their wife....No where does it say in the bible that it is okay to be Gay....The problem with people today is that they do not read their bible....Think about what happen to the people that partied all the time, engaged in sexual activities, whether gay or straight, he destroyed the city.....Look at New Orleans...it is full of sin and disgrace....God flooded it and killed alot of whom are sinful....It is time for people to open their minds, eyes, and hearts to the word of God....Nothing good comes from sin....Being gay is a chose....you are born male or female....you are not born gay...God doesn't make mistakes....Engaging is gay activities is dangerous and will lead life in hell with Satan...Sins are forgiven and you can lead a christian life by leaving the gay community....But leading a gay life is the same and flipping off God.....That is so asking for God to destroy you or someone close to you...You are asking for eternity in hell.....Read the bible it has all the answers to life's questions....even what you are suppose to wear as christians.....READ....What do you have to lose?

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emma95

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October 17, 2005, 7:22 am PDT

Amen!

Quote From: madaboutu

Becoming a Christian isn't about being good enough or doing something in order to earn our way. Salvation is a gift from God ... not man ... so that no one may boast. Jesus said that He is the only way to salvation .. the only way to God ... there is only one way and that is through him. And He is at the right hand of God interceding for us. So we pray for the faith to believe in Him and His promises. We admit that we are lost without Him. We accept the grace and mercy that He gives and fills us with. The Holy Spirit then resides within us ... guiding us, counseling us, comforting us. There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. But one has to accept that He is the only way.

Once we are His ... we have to allow Him to so fill our lives that others see Christ in us. We have to war against the sinful nature that is within us. That doesn't just disappear because we've accepted Him. He brings transformation ... but we have to be willing to be transformed. We have to seek Him and find Him why He may be found. We have to submit to His will and trust Him with our future. Jesus did not condemn the woman at the well who was described as having had several husbands and the man she was living with at that point was not her husband. But what he did say was, 'Go and sin no more.' Huge. Huge. We could not possibly do that on our own. We are human, fallible creations who will fall and stumble and slip. But we do not have to embrace sin so that his grace can be shown. The apostle Paul states this in one of his letters to the church ... 'Should I sin so that grace may abound? No!' And so daily we are faced with all sorts of circumstances and relationships that require us to make choices - choices between sinning and not sinning.

I encourage you to turn to the Word of God and let it fill you up. Find a reliable translation. The NIV is one that is tested and proved reliable. There are many others out there though that are probably an easier read for devotional. I use a living translation and some use the Message. I encourage you to find a bible teaching church ... one that relies on the Bible as the authoritative word and that preaches that Word from the pulpit. The salvation message should be front and center. And if those parts are there in that church then the congregation will be loving people who will embrace you for who you are in Christ now. But that congregation should also have accountability. We as the body of Christ are accountable to one another. We are instructed to love one another, pray for one another, and hold one another accountable ... even to the point of pointing out to a brother/sister when they are falling. Participation in the body means be willing to love someone enough to give and accept this kind of accountability. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. The word of God is foolishness to those who do not believe in Him. And it is wisdom to those who have been saved. Read Psalm 139 daily so that you will know how much he cares for you. He knew you before you were ever born. He holds you in the palm of His hand.

I will be praying for you as you are beginning your walk with Him.

How beautifully stated with the love of Christ...which unfortunately is sometimes missing with well intentioned responses. I will be praying for this one struggling as well.

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caseytr

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October 17, 2005, 7:46 am PDT

Noone should judge - we all fall short

The Bible is clear that homosexuality is a sin. However, here's how I look at it....the Bible addresses many sins and says no sin is worse than any other. The Bible talks about gluttony and drunkenness a LOT more than homosexuality. So when we sit down to a meal and eat until we are gorged, it is a sin ... no worse and no better than the sin of homesexuality. I have plenty of sins to watch for in my own life and have no time to worry about other people's sins.

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emma95

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October 17, 2005, 8:10 am PDT

Hatred is sad...

Quote From: xbrooklyn

I'm not going to add to the ongoing bible study lesson here.

I believe in God (there is only one God).

I'm a lesbian. I don't believe it is a sin, nor do I believe I will burn in hell for being one. Gay is not a lifestyle. People don't choose to be gay.

What's is sad is all the hatred. I don't understand how people whom believe in God can preach so much hatred.

Hatred is sad and destructive. Which is exactly what "the enemy" wants.

I'm a Christian. And I do believe it is a sin because the scriptures of the Holy Bible are very clear.

BUT I DON'T HATE YOU OR ANYONE WHO IS GAY. In fact, a very dear friend of mine is a gay man. We've been friends since we were children and I could never hate him or imagine not having him as a friend. He understands what I believe and knows that I love him always for who he is--not what he does or doesn't do. Gods love is the same.

He created each one in their own uniqueness. I certainly don't profess to know it all or understand all of God's ways for that matter--and much I won't this side of Heaven, but one thing is certain and unmistakeable, which is that God does hate sin - sin is detestable to Him. Also, sin is sin to God. It ALL is disgusting to Him, but He loves us anyway and that's WHY we need a savior..because He does love us, and expects the same of us toward one another.

Sorry if that's preachy to you, but that is what I feel and what I believe and I just wanted you to know that I don't hate you or anyone else who is gay either. And it is very sad when people say hateful and hurtful things. GOD LOVES YOU!

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kennamore

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October 17, 2005, 8:14 am PDT

Please Dr Phil don't mess this up!

Not every family of a gay son or daughter is a crazy family...it happens to so called "good families" too! I raised both of my sons conservative, catholic, boy scouts, soccer and all. They were good students, good people, very involved in church functions and scouting. Our youngest son, Daniel (now age 22) told us he is gay. Yes, it "pushed" all of my buttons. However, this is my son, my precious son and I will not deny him in anyway. We have lost friends, changed relationships with our relatives and defended him with our whole hearts. Am I still Catholic, YEP and will be to the day I die. Every time I see a gay person depicted in the media it is a "lisp speaking efemanite" gay man that every one laughs at and makes fun of....but my son is intelligent, sports loving, good student, and a very loving person. It is very hard to be a gay person, it is even more difficult to be a gay person in KANSAS (thanks to an idiot Fred Phelps); it is even more difficult to support your gay child without ridicule. I have actaually had people tell me to send Daniel to a "religious cult program" so that the effects could be reversed! Daniel does believe that he is accepted in any religion so now he has decided to "quit religion" before "religion quits him." This is very difficult for me to accept. It would be very easy for Dr. Phil to think he has the perfect family; perfect wife; perfects sons, etc. just understand that this could have happened in your family, it could have happened in ANY ONES family. Please don't mess up; please help the families get the word out that while these young people have different lifestyles they are just people with feelings who need support and love of their families. I'm pleased you feel brave enough to tackle this subject so many in the media always go to the "extremes" as it makes for good television.....just don't mess this up! Help us---help families to see that there is daylight after your son or daughter tells you they are gay. My son and I are very close and I love and cherish the person he is and while it goes against, my faith and my belief system I will never stop loving and cherishing this very fine young man. Thank you for allowing me to speak frankly.

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gatera99

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October 17, 2005, 8:33 am PDT

Not about hate

I just want to address the people who say religion/religious leaders/political leaders are sending messages to hate the gays. It's not about hate at all. It's about tolerence and the limit.

If you tolerate everything, then you have anarchy. If you tolerate everything that is "bent" or "abnormal" you get a sick society like ours. Yeah sue me for the use of that word, but anyone who says homosexuality is normal needs therapy and/or a course in English. Normal means the norm ... majority. Homosexuality, is however, natural. In the case of physically gay men and women (hormonally gay, I call it) It's a freak of nature, like the 4 leaf clover. It's also in most cases exactly like pedophilia. A fact of life that you can choose to embrace or fight against within yourself. In my opinion, it is just as sick, in a "mental" kind of way, but more socialy acceptable because most of the time (not all the time) it happens between consenting adults. But it is exactly like being turned on by children, or shoes, or S&M and bondage. It's a sexual preference that is simply unhealthy and resulting from childhood trauma. There may be 10% of the population that is gay, but only about 10% of that 10% is actually physically gay from a hormonal imbalance, the rest of them is basically a mental choice they made at some point in their childhood o fill a need for an absent mother daughter relationship or father son. ) That is the opinion of a Gay Female who decided to live a healthy life and is quite happy with her choice :) If you are not hormonally gay... it can be done. It's all about filling the right needs.

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