Topic : 06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"

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Created on : Friday, October 14, 2005, 03:56:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/19/05) Sexual orientation used to be something kept hidden from family and co-workers, but now more and more people are "coming out" and finding acceptance. Anjela says her mother and sister don't support her sexual orientation, and feel she can't be Christian and gay at the same time. Can they reconcile this touchy issue? Then, two men debate whether a person can go from gay to straight, and parents of a 4-year-old boy fear their son's desire to play with dolls and wear heels means he'll grow up to be gay. Are they overreacting to his wishes to be a princess instead of a prince? Talk about gender and gay issues here.


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October 17, 2005, 9:36 am PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: kennamore

Not every family of a gay son or daughter is a crazy family...it happens to so called "good families" too!  I raised both of my sons conservative, catholic, boy scouts, soccer and all.  They were good students, good people, very involved in church functions and scouting.  Our youngest son, Daniel (now age 22) told us he is gay.  Yes, it "pushed" all of my buttons.  However, this is my son, my precious son and I will not deny him in anyway.  We have lost friends, changed relationships with our relatives and defended him with our whole hearts.  Am I still Catholic, YEP and will be to the day I die.  Every time I see a gay person depicted in the media it is a "lisp speaking efemanite" gay man that every one laughs at and makes fun of....but my son is intelligent, sports loving, good student, and a very loving person.  It is very hard to be a gay person, it is even more difficult to be a gay person in KANSAS (thanks to an idiot Fred Phelps); it is even more difficult to support your gay child without ridicule.  I have actaually had people tell me to send Daniel to a "religious cult program" so that the effects could be reversed!  Daniel does believe that he is accepted in any religion so now he has decided to "quit religion" before "religion quits him."  This is very difficult for me to accept.  It would be very easy for Dr. Phil to think he has the perfect family; perfect wife; perfects sons, etc.  just understand that this could have happened in your family, it could have happened in ANY ONES family.  Please don't mess up; please help the families get the word out that while these young people have different lifestyles they are just people with feelings who need support and love of their families.  I'm pleased you feel brave enough to tackle this subject so many in the media always go to the "extremes" as it makes for good television.....just don't mess this up!  Help us---help families to see that there is daylight after your son or daughter tells you they are gay.  My son and I are very close and I love and cherish the person he is and while it goes against, my faith and my belief system I will never stop loving and cherishing this very fine young man.  Thank you for allowing me to speak frankly.
 I understand what you are saying.  I've only been watching Dr. Phil for a few months, but I really don't get the impression that he would say that if someone is gay, they must come from a crazy family.  I know of a couple of good, decent, church-going families who have a son or daughter who is gay.  In many cases it DOES have to do with the way you were brought up, but certainly not in ALL cases.  I guess we will find out what Dr. Phil has to say about this on Wednesday, but I don't think he thinks his family is better than anyone elses.  I feel for your situation.  I hope your son can find peace with God.  It would be sad to see him "quit religion". 
 
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October 17, 2005, 9:43 am PDT

dress up is just pretend

I used to baby sit a 4 year old boy who put on my little sisters necklaces, purses and heels. He is Now 17 and not gay. Parents don't need to get so upset over kids just role playing. Children learn by playing and I believe parents who make a big deal out of this could cause a problem where there wouldn't of been one.
 
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October 17, 2005, 10:32 am PDT

You've got it all wrong

Quote From: bncfene

Being Gay is like sticking your middle finger to God...How wrong is that? Very wrong...Anyone that announces, performs, lives as a person that is gay is stricting going against what God tells us. Women are to take a husband...Men are to take a woman as their wife....No where does it say in the bible that it is okay to be Gay....The problem with people today is that they do not read their bible....Think about what happen to the people that partied all the time, engaged in sexual activities, whether gay or straight, he destroyed the city.....Look at New Orleans...it is full of sin and disgrace....God flooded it and killed alot of whom are sinful....It is time for people to open their minds, eyes, and hearts to the word of God....Nothing good comes from sin....Being gay is a chose....you are born male or female....you are not born gay...God doesn't make mistakes....Engaging is gay activities is dangerous and will lead life in hell with Satan...Sins are forgiven and you can lead a christian life by leaving the gay community....But leading a gay life is the same and flipping off God.....That is so asking for God to destroy you or someone close to you...You are asking for eternity in hell.....Read the bible it has all the answers to life's questions....even what you are suppose to wear as christians.....READ....What do you have to lose?
You claim that nowhere in the bible does it say that it is ok to be gay. I agree with you, but tell me the part where it says that being gay is a horrible sin worse than all others? I believe the bible states that all sins are equal in the eys of the lord. The bible also says that if you ask Jesus into your heart and accept him as your savior, then you will be saved. To continue to be gay is like a person continuing to lie in the eyes of God. I also am very disappointed and disheartened at the fact that you claim that many "sinful" people have died because of "God's will" in New Orleans. How dare you! What gives you the right to tell us what God intended to do and why. Also, how dare you put yourself above anyone in this world. If you keep putting yourself above everyone, the harder you will fall when you fall down. You also say that being gay is a choice, and that God doesn't make mistakes. Have you ever been out of your house? The world is full of diverse people, people with different colors of skin, people with mental illness, people with physical disabilities. Let me guess, you don't believe these people are or can be holy either. I believe that people need to be more open hearted and less judgemental in this society. None of us have room to judge anyone else.
 
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October 17, 2005, 10:46 am PDT

My son was Gay

My son, Eric, was murdered in his dorm room at Gallaudet University in September of 2000. The Washington Post's headlines was " Gay Campus Leader Found Murdered in His Dorm Room". Eric let it be known at Gallaudet that he was gay, but, he sure wasn't a " Gay Campus Leader", he had only been in college for a month. Eric was going to tell his mother and me the next spring after his first year of college that he was gay. There was only one other person that knew he was gay, and that was his best friend in Portland. 

A little over four months later another freshman student from San Antonio was also murdered in his dorm room at Gallaudet. The young man that murdered my son and Ben said that he thought both students were "gay". The media played up the fact that Eric was "Gay", and the murders had nothing to do with the fact that Eric was gay. The gay community across the U.S. was in an uproar about Eric's murder being a hate crime. I believe the media actually hindered the police in doing their jobs. There are still articles on the internet about Eric & Ben's murders being hate crimes. 

As Eric's father,  I don't care if he was gay or not, that would never influence my love for my son or anyone else. If any parent has a problem with their child being "Gay", then try and imagine loosing your child to a senseless murder. I guarantee that you wouldn't care if your child was " gay, green, purple or anything else" you would just want to hold them one last time and tell them that you loved them. So, love you child no matter what they are. 

 
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October 17, 2005, 11:28 am PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: ykz_pilot

You're right.  God loves all His children.  He loves them so much He wants the best for them, and has a plan for each one.  And whenever He came across people He loved them, and said "go and sin no more".  He never once said - you can continue to sin, and ruin my plan for you. 

  

We live in a world that thumbs their nose at God and defiles His name every day.  We slaughter His children by the very hands that were entrusted to care for these babies.  Doctors kill babies for money.  Parents destroy their offspring and blessings.  God is mocked in movies and classrooms.  Purity and Holiness (what God calls all His children to) are spit on and children are encouraged to fornicate.   People who should be role models are impure and vile.  Their perversions prevent them from standing up for what is right.  Their hearts are far from God.   

  

No wonder Jesus said about heaven ... "few will find it".  Read the impure posts here, and the hatred towards everything holy and good.   

  

The only hatred here is towards the Majesty of a Holy God. 

  

Don't pretend you are a Chirstian if you condone homosexual activity.  It just proves you know nothing about scripture and less about YHWH. 

Couldn't have said it better.
 
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October 17, 2005, 11:32 am PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: craig7501

My son, Eric, was murdered in his dorm room at Gallaudet University in September of 2000. The Washington Post's headlines was " Gay Campus Leader Found Murdered in His Dorm Room". Eric let it be known at Gallaudet that he was gay, but, he sure wasn't a " Gay Campus Leader", he had only been in college for a month. Eric was going to tell his mother and me the next spring after his first year of college that he was gay. There was only one other person that knew he was gay, and that was his best friend in Portland. 

A little over four months later another freshman student from San Antonio was also murdered in his dorm room at Gallaudet. The young man that murdered my son and Ben said that he thought both students were "gay". The media played up the fact that Eric was "Gay", and the murders had nothing to do with the fact that Eric was gay. The gay community across the U.S. was in an uproar about Eric's murder being a hate crime. I believe the media actually hindered the police in doing their jobs. There are still articles on the internet about Eric & Ben's murders being hate crimes. 

As Eric's father,  I don't care if he was gay or not, that would never influence my love for my son or anyone else. If any parent has a problem with their child being "Gay", then try and imagine loosing your child to a senseless murder. I guarantee that you wouldn't care if your child was " gay, green, purple or anything else" you would just want to hold them one last time and tell them that you loved them. So, love you child no matter what they are. 

 I'm so sorry for your loss.  My prayers are with you and your family.
 

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October 17, 2005, 11:56 am PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: riviera

I think being gay is genetic but not a good thing. I don't think it is normal or should ever be considered normal but a biological defect like mental illness. As so many people say they wouldn't choose it .  

A lot of people have experimented with bi-sexuality in their youth thinking gay sex is ok.  

I think if you are gay "that's nice" but I really don't care what you do in private.  I would like to know why so many married men go to parks to pay for sex with underage boys/ 

People like you saying that being gay (which is who they are) is wrong or "not a good thing" is the reason that gay men marry straight women and hide their true nature.  The reason men like that go to parks and pay for casual gay sex is because they are forced by our society to live a lie and that is the only outlet we allow them to enjoy who they really are. 

  

If we could simply accept that people are gay they would feel safe and comfortable living their authentic lives.  It would cause much less pain all around. 

 

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October 17, 2005, 12:03 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: gatera99

I just want to address the people who say religion/religious leaders/political leaders are sending messages to hate the gays.  It's not about hate at all.  It's about tolerence and the limit.  

 If you tolerate everything, then you have anarchy.  If you tolerate everything that is "bent" or "abnormal" you get a sick society like ours.  Yeah sue me for the use of that word, but anyone who says homosexuality is normal needs therapy and/or a course in English.  Normal means the norm ... majority.  Homosexuality, is however, natural.  In the case of physically gay men and women (hormonally gay, I call it) It's a freak of nature, like the 4 leaf clover. It's also in most cases exactly like pedophilia.  A fact of life that you can choose to embrace or fight against within yourself.  In my opinion, it is just as sick, in a "mental" kind of way, but more socialy acceptable because most of the time (not all the time) it happens between consenting adults.  But it is exactly like being turned on by children, or shoes, or S&M and bondage.  It's a sexual preference that is simply unhealthy and resulting from childhood trauma.  There may be 10% of the population that is gay, but only about 10% of that 10% is actually physically gay from a hormonal imbalance, the rest of them is basically a mental choice they made at some point in their childhood o fill a need for an absent mother daughter relationship or father son. ) That is the opinion of a Gay Female who decided to live a healthy life and is quite happy with her choice :)  If you are not hormonally gay... it can be done.  It's all about filling the right needs. 

I don't think god ever told us to judge one another, did he? Why do you feel entitled to judge your fellow man? Isn't that a more egregious sin than following one's true nature?
 

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October 17, 2005, 12:09 pm PDT

Why not?

Quote From: jolajane

I too can quote bible verses that align with the fact that being "gay" is not of God's intention.    Only those who have a strong faith & belief in God & His word will acknowledge what He says.   BUT,  on another note....look at the animal kingdom.   How many do you see "being" with the same gender?    Then lets talk about the "gays" that wish to have children.    NOW it 's OK for them to seek out the "opposite" gender for reproduction.    They can't have it both ways,  either you prefer your own kind or you don't.    You can't go back & forth to suit a whim because you want to be a parent.

 You can't go back & forth to suit a whim because you want to be a parent. 

  

LOL-why ever not?  There are bi-sexual people too, you know.  Are you going to start the fornication police?  If so, you'll be plenty busy with the hetrosexuals without having to chase down any gays. 

 
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October 17, 2005, 12:16 pm PDT

Homosexuality is NOT in the Bible - Why?

When I was a graduate theology/Bible student at Oral Roberts University, two of my PhD professors, one a Pentecostal Baptist (Southern Baptist Convention/Church - SBC) and another an Assemblies of God (AG) (both men were ordained ministers), were involved with the 1st Edition of the New International Version (NIV) Bible translation into English. 

  

They were given certain guidelines regarding the doctrines of the various Evangelical church denominations so that their churches' beliefs, no matter how wrong, would not conflict with the NIV translation when it was finished. 

  

Since the SBC and the AG, etc., had messed up believing that the abomination of same-gender sexual activity applied only to those who claimed to be exclusively homosexual, the translation committee followed their directives and put the word "homosexual" where those church demoninations' doctrine people said it should be. 

  

All of the Bible Societies in the World, especially the USA, are made up of people representing certain denominations. And when any Bible Society creates a new translation, they attempt to follow the guidelines of those denominations which are paying the salary of the translators and their staff. If they did not follow the man-made rules, they would not get paid. 

  

Jesus, aka The Christ, never said one negative word about homosexual or what might even be considered homosexuality or ever same-gender consensual sexual behavior by adults . . . or even mutually consensual same-gender sexual behavior by those under the age of 18.  

  

The sin of Sodom is never literally mentioned as same-gender sexual activity. Only one time in the Bible is the sexual activity of the people of Sodom mentioned and that is in verse 7 of the short Epistle of Jude. And even then, it is NOT same-gender sexual activity. 

  

Here is the King James version of that verse: 

  

"Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire."

  

Here is the Today's New International Version of that same Verse: 

  

           "In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire." 

  

"Porneia" is translated as "fornication" in the KJV and as "sexual immorality" in the TNIV. "Porneia" literally refers to the "sexual activity of female prostitutes with male customers."  

  

The "strange flesh' in the KJV is interesting especially after one looks at the two words in the Original Greek Text of Jude. "Strange" is the translation of "heteras," which is another form of the word "hetero." The opposite of "homo" (same) is "hetero" (which does mean "opposite or different").  

  

Since Jude was the half-brother of Jesus, Jude's parents were Mary and Joseph, more than likely Jude's first language was Hebrew, or the Aramaic dialect of it. Jude, his brother James (literally Jacob), like Jesus, when growing up studied the original Scriptures in Hebrew and they apparenlty translated their Hebrew thoughts into everyday Greek, in the Koine dialect of it.  

  

The word translated in the KJV as "flesh" and in the TNIV as "perversion" is "sarx." Well, "sarx" is the Greek translation of the Hebrew word, "basar" (flesh). Basar is used as a Hebrew euphemism (substitute polite word) for gender, sexual parts or genitals, male or female. 

  

So the "Strange Flesh" in proper interpretation here is "heterosexual sex." "Heteras sarx" would be translated as "heterosexual" in modern English.  

  

  

 
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