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Topic : 06/20 "You Ruined My Reputation"

Number of Replies: 223
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Created on : Friday, October 14, 2005, 03:59:42 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/20/05) What happens when you're the target of malicious gossip and your reputation is in question? Seventeen-year-old Hannah knows about this firsthand. She says that since junior high, she's been called a slut, a skank and a whore. See the surprise message for her from the school bully, Emily. Then, a woman tries to dispel the rumor that she was born a man. She even went to extreme measures by posting her birth certificate and baby pictures on a Web site! Plus, Kristi is a wife, mother, and owner of a daycare center, but an anonymous letter made her the main suspect in a child pornography case. What will it take for the rumors to stop? Share your thoughts.


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June 20, 2006, 12:34 pm CDT

There's a reason

The girl on the show who was being bullied mentioned that she had been mean to girls at her school in previous years. She said that since she is a senior now she just wants to enjoy her year. 

  

Hello? She planted seeds of hate at her school up until this year and now they have grown and she seems so clueless as to how so many people came to dislike her! 

  

I think that in addition to taking Dr. Phil's advice about knowing who she is and respecting and appreciating herself, she should do some damage control with the people she made life miserable for in previous years. This girl has simply gotten a taste of her own medicine. If she can show her sincerity and let people she has hurt know that she was mean out of her own insecurity and that she has seen the error of her ways, she can begin to rebuild the mutual respect between herself and the other girls at her school. 

 
June 20, 2006, 12:38 pm CDT

There's a reason

Hannah mentioned that she had been mean to girls at her school in previous years. She said that since she is a senior now she just wants to enjoy her year.  

   

Hello? She planted seeds of hate at her school up until this year and now they have grown and she seems so clueless as to how so many people came to dislike her!  

   

I think that in addition to taking Dr. Phil's advice about knowing who she is and respecting and appreciating herself, she should do some damage control with the people she made life miserable for in previous years. This girl has simply gotten a taste of her own medicine. If she can show her sincerity and let people she has hurt know that she was mean out of her own insecurity and that she has seen the error of her ways, she can begin to rebuild the mutual respect between herself and the other girls at her school.  

 
June 20, 2006, 12:40 pm CDT

I have also been bulled, especially online

I wanted to start my post by addressing Karen on the show.  A very feminine and beautiful person! You don't look like a man!   I hear you on the need to put up a website, because I did that myself to defend against online attacks against me and my business reputation but Dr. Phil is right. If you know the truth, stay there, and don't let them define you. You know who you are. 

  

If Karen lived in my town, I would take her for a latte and be her friend and tell her that if she wasn't married, there are  a lot of available engineers at my hubby's work who would love to date her. She looks like a woman, she is a woman, have no doubt. They are just saying it to hurt you. Ignore them. 

  

Keep your chin up, Karen! 

  

Lillian 

Indiana 

  

 
June 20, 2006, 1:00 pm CDT

When things turn worse..

I am now turning 19 years old, on my way to college in septmeber...however at just 16 my life was turned upside down. all my highschool career i'd been called names similar to the way hannah was. Despite the fact that the only reason i wasnt a virgin is because i was raped, i was still called a whore, slut, etc. by girls and guys who had slept with many more people. I did exactly what Dr. phil said to hannah, i kept going out, i made new friends, i kept my head up high, and knew i wasnt the person they were saying i was. Unfourtunetly, this wasnt recieved well. when one of my friends borthers, who was also my friend was murdered, his funeral was on my 16th birthday, rumours began to fly that i said that certain people had to do with his death, which is extremely untrue, i am a religious person and i did not feel that a group of people smoking pot right before the funeral, who didnt really know him, was proper. this is what i said to someone i thought was my best friend. a week after the funeral my mom pulled me out of school because i was being attatcked in the hallways, and not just with words but with fists. i went to a new school the next semester, where things got even worse. I was threatened every day that i would be shot, i would have my knees bashed in and so on. everyday more than twice a day my life was threatened. i continued to attempt to hold my head up but of course the idea that any day at school i could die..i was stressed. after the school year ended, i was out with a friend, and i was attacked by the girl who was threatening my life. everynight my mom and i would be up late at night recieving death threats, i cant remember how many times i spoke with the police and nothing happened. My life was in danger, and why? because rumours got out of hand and i stood up for myself. I am currently living with my aunt in another city away from my mom, brother and gramma whom i am very close with, simply because we fear for my life in my old city. I think at times we need to treat rumours as more than just "dont worry, they have their own problems thats why they say things things" we need to pay more attention to what is really going on because these can turn deadly, so many teens commit suicide because of these things. more emphasis needs to be put onto how damaging rumours really can be.
 
June 20, 2006, 1:07 pm CDT

Moving Past A Reputation

Hi there! Today's show really struck a chord with me because reputation is destroying a new relationship with a great guy that I have started seeing.   Shortly after we met he made it very clear to me that two years ago (while in post-secondary school) he was with many different women.  He has had 19 different partners and very few meaningful relationships with any of them.  It is something that he is embarrassed about and feels that it doesn't represent who he is today.  When we talked about it I wasn't upset or disturbed by it (and was glad he told me).   HOWEVER - now that I've started to meet his friends and family it has started to bother me....Everyone cracks jokes about his past and some of the women he's been with.  It doesn't just happen once or twice, but almost the entire conversation revolves around women from his past.  It gets to the point that we both just end up leaving places early or sitting through ackward silences while he blunts the end of the jokes.  I know it upsets him and its starting to upset me when it happens as well.  I hate to be selfish because his past doesn't define who he is today - however how do we move past this and show people that we have a relationship (and that I'm not just another sexual conquest?). 
 
June 20, 2006, 1:21 pm CDT

Always something to say.... true or not

For as long as I can remember, people have always had something to say, whether it's true or not. When I was in middle school, I was called a "whore" and a "slut". It got so bad I had to switch schools. That didn't help either. The people at my old school said that I left because I was pregnant. 8 months later my sister had a baby and when people from my old school would see me walking with him they would say he was mine. By the time I graduated, I supposedly had 5 kids including a set of twins. The funny thing is that all the girls who said those things about me ended up having kids before they got out of high school. I didn't. I got married after I graduated and NOW I'm expecting a child in 71/2 weeks. I just think that you can't let it get to you. Had I let it get to me, I wouldn't be as successful as I am now. I have a wonderful husband, a daughter on the way, a great home, I'm in school. I'm doing everything that those girls aren't. And I'm proud of myself...
 
June 20, 2006, 1:29 pm CDT

06/20 "You Ruined My Reputation"

wow this episode really touched me. its almost  exactly what is happening to me. i really feel like i undrestand hannah. i know waht shes going through. girls are horrible. i really appreciate dr.phil doing this kind of episode because its important for people to relize the damage they do when they spread rumors.
 
June 20, 2006, 1:33 pm CDT

If only we could see into the future

Next year I will celebrate my 30 year high school reunion in Russellville, Alabama.  Back then, I was tall, made fairly good grades, wore glasses and was in the band!  I did everything but wear a sign that said "Kick Me"!  I look forward to going to my reunion to visit with my two best friends, Dawn and Lisa and to remind myself that all that stuff didn't matter!!!  I've traveled the world, have a wonderful husband and daughter, a great group of friends!  Even do a craft/cooking spot once a month on our local NBC affiliate,  But, Lord, did I worry about it in high school and for years after!!  I have certainly done my best to teach my daughter better. 

My "reality" moment came a couple of years ago, when my other best friend Stephanie (who is blond, built and was a cheerleader from NC) and I were discussing the fact that were more like sisters to one another than we were with our own sisters.  We were watching a Dr. Phil about the woman who was carrying around the hurt from High school and the other who "couldn't remember" being mean.  Stephanie said she felt so bad because she was the "mean girl" in high school.  I laughed and said guess what?  I was the one you would have been mean to!  She yelled - I'm sorry!  We hugged, laughed and cried.  If only I had known 30 years ago that not being the "ones" was OK.  

I have always said that we women are our own worst enemies!!!  

 
June 20, 2006, 1:42 pm CDT

06/20 "You Ruined My Reputation"

I found it very strange for Dr. Phil to be asking a teenager "who are you?"  I'm 40 and still don't have a clue.  It amazes me that anyone knows who they are and I can't even imagine knowing when you're that young!
 
June 20, 2006, 1:47 pm CDT

ask around

Karen  

   

Ask around. You're very hot. I don't think anyone really thinks you're a woman.   

   

Steve  

 
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