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Topic : 06/20 "You Ruined My Reputation"

Number of Replies: 223
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Created on : Friday, October 14, 2005, 03:59:42 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/20/05) What happens when you're the target of malicious gossip and your reputation is in question? Seventeen-year-old Hannah knows about this firsthand. She says that since junior high, she's been called a slut, a skank and a whore. See the surprise message for her from the school bully, Emily. Then, a woman tries to dispel the rumor that she was born a man. She even went to extreme measures by posting her birth certificate and baby pictures on a Web site! Plus, Kristi is a wife, mother, and owner of a daycare center, but an anonymous letter made her the main suspect in a child pornography case. What will it take for the rumors to stop? Share your thoughts.


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June 21, 2006, 8:20 am CDT

Been on the receiving end

I'm the new kid at work.  One of the employees has made it her life's work to make my daily work life a living hell.  As someone who used to stutter (and occassionally still does depending on how tired I am), and now works with disabled young adults, this employee loves to make fun of me and the "consumers." 

  

One day I paged for an employee and mispronounced a couple of words (I tend to do that with "th" words).  The employee understood but the "bully" employee got back on the page system and said "reception meant to say.........."  This "bully" employee disrespects me behind my back and to my face. 

  

It was the original airing of this episode that helped me in getting the "bully" employee back in line.  Ignoring her didn't work but internalizing the dialog was making me believe that "everyone" thought I was a jerk and unprofessional.  Once I shut up the internal dialog, I let the bully know she was a jerk and to get over herself.  We aren't in high school anymore and this childish behavior was getting boring. 

  

It took a consumer complaining to his mother, that he was sad that this employee was treating the "friendly receptionist" so badly (my first day I signed hello to him as the consumer is deaf, the same employee said to me not to waste my time).  The mother came in and personally wrote up this employee on my behalf as she agreed that I'm friendly. 

  

The mean employee still is disrespectful but my sarcastic wit and fast comebacks has made her life hell as I don't take her cruel statements with a grain of salt. 

  

The moral of the story, this employee doesn't know it but she is being fired today.  Many "consumer's" guardians and/or parents have been complaining about her as the "consumers" figured if I can fight back so can they.  I can't wait to see her face when she is let go. 

  

Thanks Dr. Phil for giving me a wake up call about the "internal" dialog.  I can't sing so why the heck would I add my voice to the choir. 

 
June 21, 2006, 12:27 pm CDT

High School Stuff

I really didn't understand why the two teenagers were on the show. That is highschool stuff. It will end. In the grand scheme of things, that part of your life is trivial and over with very quickly. These girls were seniors. They talked about each other (and probably other girls). They should learn to get over it and blow it off. No one should miss 60 days of a school year because she's afraid of what people SAY. That's ridiculous. And please, don't tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about. I was the main subject of the rumor-mill when I was in highschool. In fact, even the ADULTS in the town talked about me! Of course, none of what they said was true and I knew who my real friends were. I didn't care and ignored it. And guess what? I graduated, got a college scholarship, left town and never went back! Those 3 years of my life are over and done with. I have a great life now. And those small-minded people are still right where they were then - mentally and geographically. They will never change. And that's sad for them.
 
June 21, 2006, 5:18 pm CDT

06/20 "You Ruined My Reputation"



GOD PLEASE REPLY
Prayed by SEA

If ever you reach out in word
And feel like no one heard
To me each message that I see
Are like prayers rising up to Thee

After you left with all your tears
Combined with all your haunting fears
People stopped to read words you left
Sending prayers for you to be blessed

Parting prayers prayed to help you some
So you feel uplifted when here you come
And when no one knows what to say
Now and then know for you many pray

Thus if after you bare your soul
You feel no one heard... not one soul
I wanted you to know I stopped by
Said a prayer for you signed please reply

 
June 22, 2006, 1:45 am CDT

How did you get to Alabama from Bahrain

Quote From: zapatosred

Hi Khalid....I agree with the other poster - Dr. Phil is probably one of the least predudiced people  you'll see on  TV here. Any other account would be from tabloid press where they just make everything up to sell their magazines!!  From his show, they seem to be accepting of  differences,whether race,religion, gender,etc. How did you get to Alabama from Bahrain? School, I imagine. Remember,don't believe everything you read !!!:>)   

Dear zapatosred  

  

How did you get to Alabama from Bahrain? 

i have edited my profile it was by mistake im from bahrian and im still living there

But im so surprised that you now where is Bahrain coze its soooooooooo small on the map J   

  

 

 
June 22, 2006, 12:43 pm CDT

ruin reputation

Quote From: linusnsnow

I know just how it feels I live in a HUGE city in Canada My Reputation will never be the same ever again As long as I live no matter where I move.. I Feel like everyone is going to know who I am soon as I say this, I feel I will be judged even on this website... I don't leave my home but maybe 3 times a month, Soon as people see me or my boyfriend they stare at us, they know who we are... no matter where we go in the city... Some of the people in the City even go as far as following us home, spitting on us, and even openly cussing at us.   

My Parents we just charged with murder of a child. So now because we were living there when they killed him people say we should not even be allowed to breath the same air as them,  that we are a waste of space, it goes on and on and on and on.     

So while I know this was tough for these people to talk about with Dr.Phil I wish my problems were as easy as some of them... I don't know what to do about this problem I have no idea...     

   

I wish one day to be able to walk in the street again..  but I also I wish that a time machine would be made and I could go back and do something to fix the wrong my parents done  

My situation is not as traumatic as yours but the concept is the same. Even people I know have been manipulated by this person. All because some nut has some type of technology like a GPS system to track my whereabouts where ever I go. In addition, people who they told one lie to and it spread tremendously. It reminds me of the movie Man on Fire with Denzil. One of the characters was called the "Voice" who gave orders but they weren't allowed to see him. I told the police to build a record but they think I am crazy. I'm not a person with a history of  mental problems; if I feel something isn't right, it generally is true.  

  

Some people know who it is but won't tell me; however, there are some people who are looking out for me, but who. One becomes paranoid because you cannot trust anyone and that's a bad place to be in one's life. The devil has a way of working through people you know and don't know. Unfortunately, some people are so gullible they fall for anything. 

  

carame  

  

   

 

  

  

 
June 22, 2006, 5:21 pm CDT

Should of been addressed.....

thought the show was great....but felt dr. phil just breezed over the coment made about being attacked and literally being followed (then beaten while sitting in her car) by a bunch of violent classmates.   

i believe he should of given her more advise on that subject. the steps she needed to take when something like that happens. he tells her to get out there and enjoy herself...how is she suppose do that when she's terrified she'll get beat up/attacked in her car or at the function she is attending.  

i also found it strange that the police was never called and that she had to leave her school because she felt unsafe. believe me if it was my daughter ( if she wanted me to or not...i understand at that age the last thing a teen wants is their "mommy"/"daddy" showing up at their schools office) i'd make damn sure the problem was taken cared of immediately. if showing up at the schools office daily is what  was  needed  to better things than so be it. it's that schools JOB to make sure the children feel safe...are safe in that school. that's what EVERYONE IN THAT COMMUNITY pays them for.  a big part of me feels her mom/dad really didn't do enough to get her the help she needed to solve this problem when it first began.  

as parents (i'm a mother of 6) we need to constantly be in our children's business...if they like it or not. IT'S OUR JOB. we can become their "best friend" ....the "coolest parents" AFTER we've done our JOB. i promise every parent they'll be 18/21 before you know it. you'll have done your job and will have many wonderful years to become best friends.  

sure hope both the girls on the show are getting the support and help they need.  

dr. phil/staff pls. keep us posted.   

be well & God Bless  

 
June 22, 2006, 10:42 pm CDT

Some guy was lying

I have been a huge victim of rumors, Somebody started a rumor that me and my family were from Afghanistan and where so not, where Indian American and very proud

That lie/rumor just ruin my whole life, nobody wanted to be friends, people gave me such a hard time wherever I went, people were picking on me, nobody would hire me, my social life was ruined couldn’t go anywhere without people saying horrible things about me..  

So I ask the good friends that I had left if they heard this rumor and they said , "yea we heard that rumor, that we even seen picture of you and your ford focus on the internet, that some guy posted it and he was saying that not only that your from Afghanistan but you’re a violent person that you’re a looser a hater a prev, etc, and we found the guy who was posting and spreading the rumors about you and we ask him "why did you spread all those lies about are friend" and he said because he wouldn’t let me copyof him at school and that he didnt pick me to be on his football team, we were like, what are you like crazy, that dose nt even make sense, so what you cheater, that dosent mean that you ruin his repution his life, that’s just mental, cruel and wrong.   

I had to go door by door in my neighborhood, saying that the rumors you herd is a lie, I also went to the community center and spoke there, I aslo posted a picture of me of my brith certfigate on my website reading that I was born in America and my parents are from India that not to believe all the lies about me   

Its started to get some what better but still every where I went people were dtill giving me a hard time, it wasnt really geting to everyone that the rumors weren’t true, so I went to the local police department and report this, I ask them if they could email or mail everyone a letter stating that if anyone has heard any rumor about us, not to believe it, that they are Indian ,they have proof of that, they presented there Brith certificate etc, so please don’t think that they are any other race and anything else this guy said, to stop the hate, the picking on them giving them a hard time etc.  

That how I started to get my life back, the police did a good job email everyone just like that guy who ruined my life , appernitly there away that you can email everyone   

so know everything is working out fine for me.  

Everyone who got there rep there life ruined, by a awful romore should try these things, speck up,let your local police comniity know open your own web site try to get everybody to know   

That how I got my life my repution back, and you can too.   

   

  

 
June 26, 2006, 5:30 am CDT

Great episode!

We just returned from vacation and naturally I recorded all of Dr. Phil shows during my absence :)  This episode was the first one that I watched and the timing was perfect.  Our vacation was also a family reunion for my husband’s immediate family and while I like most of his family members immensely, I’m not sure if they hold me in the same regard. A couple of them are gossips and just like to talk about people in general, and I know for a fact I was included in some of their conversations from another family member’s inadvertent admission. Not exactly the sort of thing to encourage healthy familial relations.  Anyway, it left me feeling uncomfortable – as if I had done something wrong, but didn’t know what.  So I found watching this episode a soothing balm to my injured spirit.  Thanks Dr. Phil!  

   

 
June 29, 2006, 11:27 am CDT

is Hannah going to give us an update.

When the show 1st airred In October, Hannah seemed so awesome. Is she going to let us know how  things between HEr & Emily are. 
 
July 12, 2006, 6:57 am CDT

A message from holland

I live in the Netherlands and I have been bullied at until my seventienth. I was like Hannah and said the comments a thousand times to myself. I was sensitive and cared about what other people thougt and said. Because I would never say or do those things to somebody else. When I got older I started to learn why this happened. I did not stought up for myself, I let everything happen to me. After time I began to work on a elementary school and saw how this behaviour  started with other childeren. So now I teach them to stand up for themselves.  I am still learning myself and I have also learned from this show. 

  

Greetings Debbie 

 
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