I'm 17 and a senior in high school, and finally free of tension and rumors. This all begins back in freshman year. Towards the end of the school year, my friend, Laurie, starting dating this guy, Nathan, who was a junior, and everyone except myself did not care for him, and I never understood why. Their reasoning was he was a 'jerk' but I think that was because there was nothing else for them to find wrong with him. I couldn't find anything wrong with him. He was a funny, sweet guy, and I knew it was awkward for Laurie to have him around my group since many didn't care for him, so I decided to befriend him and be nice to him so if she was around me with him, she wouldn't feel awkward and he wouldn't feel awkward. At this time, I was also dating a guy in our group, for about a month, from March to April of 2003 (This is referred to later on in my story) Laurie and Nathan dated for about two months (April til June 2003) and the two didn't speak afterwards, but by this point, Nathan and I had become good friends and loved to talk. So we continued to be friends and talk online and whatnot. By the end of August, we became very attracted to each other and decided to start dating, but under the radar of my group because I had no idea how they would react and I would talk to Laurie about it when I had the chance. It was a Friday, and everybody was about to leave to go home when Nathan and I were sitting in our counselor's office, holding hands, and two guys, one of them being my exboyfriend, from our group saw us and the whole thing blew up. From that point on, I was harassed, teased, my ex and Laurie claimed that Nathan and I were cheating on them with each other, and everything just got blown way out of proportion. My locker got broken into, my items were vandalized, and in trying their best for me to break up with Nathan, they drove me closer to him by making me share his locker because they didn't know his combination. What made it worse was Nathan and I had the school's attention because of our 1 year and 6 month age difference and we we would be seen together in the halls, and whenever we stood outside my 6th hour class talking, my classmates would be looking through the window at us, wanting to see us kiss. This continued for at least three months. Even in my junior year, my friend Andy asked if Nathan and I were still together, and I answered yes, and his next question was if we had sex (because apparently, if you date for more than a month at my school, you're having sex, as was the trend put on by the popular kids) and he was shocked when I said no. There is still some speculation of that going on today.
There became such a rift between Laurie, my former peer group, and myself, that I isolated myself and continued to find new friends throughout my sophomore and junior year. It saddened me because Laurie and I had such a good friendship, and it was demolished because of many misunderstandings. Towards the end of my junior year, I signed up for a Forensic Science conference out in Boston during July, and wouldn't you know it, Laurie signed up for the same one. Us being together in the same environment and seeing each other for 10 days straight intimidated me because I didn't know what to expect. But before hand I tried to patch things up by talking to her with simple 'how are you today' s and hello's. It wasn't until we got to Boston that we actually sat down during our free time and talked and realized this was stupid stuff being spread by everybody else, and neither of us had a problem with each other and we wanted to be friends again. It took us to get to BOSTON to patch things up. That's how horrible peer pressure and rumors can be.
Now Laurie and I are planning on going to the same university next fall and are dorming together. It's as if we picked up right where we left off. And I'm starting to get back into that peer group I had in freshman year, and many of them do not have a problem with me anymore. Like Dr. Phil said, it takes a hero to stand up, and we both heros to do so.
Although I do agree with many of you that rumors are harmful and need to stop, there is no way you can do so. It's close to impossible. The best thing you can do is just know who you are, that you know you are the complete opposite and that those rumors are not true. If you don't react to them, people are going to see that they can't get to you and give up. That's what I did, and people tried for three months to tear me down and when they realized they couldn't do it, they gave up. You can't have authority figures help you, because that will make issues worse. Just teach your sons and daughters to have healthy egos and to realize who they are on the inside, and they will not be phased what goes on around them.
(Original Air Date: 10/20/05) What happens when you're the target of malicious gossip and your reputation is in question? Seventeen-year-old Hannah knows about this firsthand. She says that since junior high, she's been called a slut, a skank and a whore. See the surprise message for her from the school bully, Emily. Then, a woman tries to dispel the rumor that she was born a man. She even went to extreme measures by posting her birth certificate and baby pictures on a Web site! Plus, Kristi is a wife, mother, and owner of a daycare center, but an anonymous letter made her the main suspect in a child pornography case. What will it take for the rumors to stop? Share your thoughts.
