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Topic : 03/24 Moms Money Conflicts

Number of Replies: 296
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Created on : Friday, October 14, 2005, 04:01:34 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/21/05) Money is often cited as the number one reason couples divorce. Dr. Phil talks with moms who say their need for cash is causing major problems. First, Andy and Lynn are newlyweds whose marriage is already falling apart. Lynn says she has to pay for expenses that her waitress salary can't possibly cover, and she has to beg her husband if she needs money. Andy says his wife relies on him for everything and he doesn't think she should get a free ride. Can their marriage withstand the pressure? Then, Alice has invented a product that she thinks will make her millions. But after putting in over $160,000 and turning their house into a factory, her husband has had enough. Does Alice have a great invention or should she just give up? Plus, two moms have a dream of opening up their own boutique, but their husbands say they both need a reality check. Join the discussion.


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March 24, 2006, 11:35 am PST

But it's true about only children

Quote From: liatsunami

 I felt really icky about the first couple. I haven't read the rest of them.  I think they're both at fault for spending a little more on things than they should. I do think though, that the husband is being very unreasonable.  I mean his wife is going to school, mothering their daughter, and working as a waitress...all jobs that pay crud for salary.  Expecting her to pay for so many things is just unreasonable. I mean I can  MAYBE understand him wanting her ot earn the money for her schooling so she appreciates it more, but she can't possibly afford that AND things for the baby AND the other things he wants her to pay for. 

It also reminds me of  a part in the book/movie "The Joy Luck Club" where the couple divided everything 50/50 when it came to money, and lets just say that ended VERY poorly.

I think they both need to curb their spending habits.  I mean did she really NEED a $6,000 breast augmentation? Did they NEED $60.00 shoes for the baby?  Did he NEED to buy that painting, or the boat?  I think they need to reexamine their OWN spending habits rather than looking to point the finger at the other person.
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I was kind of miffed that Dr. Phil made a blanketed statement about only children and how they aren't used to sharing.  I totally disagree with that. Plenty of only children grow up to be very giving and sharing adults.  Not all of us are socialized to be self centered or "mine" centered.  In fact a lot of us learn early on that sharing is a way to make freinds.  I don't think it's the norm for only children to grow up to be "mine-y".  I don't think it's really an accurate explaination of why some people are just greedy and selfish.   I really hate the stereo-type that only children are often selfish, spoiled, or bratty. Grr!
No, it's not ALWAYS true, but it's a generalization that I think people can make confidently.

My daughter will be an only child and this is something I am very much taking into consideration. I worry about her ability to share and think about other children. He didn't make it sound like only children are DOOMED to be as such, they are just more likely to be and it's something you have to consider while raising an only child.

It's no different then having, say, a child in little league, they are more likely to be hit by a baseball then a child who isn't in little league...so you have to deal with that as a coniquence of having a child in little league.
 
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March 24, 2006, 11:53 am PST

i have an idea

I HAVE AN INVENTION OR IDEA I WANT TO GET OUT TO THE PUBLIC BUT DONT HAVE THE FUNDS TO GET A LAWYER TO GET A PATENT OR HAVE ANY IDEA ON WHO TO TURN TO FOR HELP ON PRODUCING THIS IDEA ITS IN MY HEAD AND DRIVING ME CRAZY BECAUSE I CAN ONLY WRITE ON PAPER AND NOT ABLE TO PHYSICALLY TOUCH OR FEEL IT I   FEEL LIKE ITS AN ITCH IN THE BRAIN THAT I CANNOT SCRATCH SO I NEED HELP WITH ALL ASPECTS OF GETTING MY IDEA OUT OF MY HEAD MADE REAL AND PUT ON THE MARKET COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME.
 
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March 24, 2006, 12:29 pm PST

Nail Polish Holder

 Would YOU buy the Nail21 invention? I think i would for about $5ish dollars.. haha
 
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March 24, 2006, 12:34 pm PST

i think

Quote From: manekineko

I HAVE AN INVENTION OR IDEA I WANT TO GET OUT TO THE PUBLIC BUT DONT HAVE THE FUNDS TO GET A LAWYER TO GET A PATENT OR HAVE ANY IDEA ON WHO TO TURN TO FOR HELP ON PRODUCING THIS IDEA ITS IN MY HEAD AND DRIVING ME CRAZY BECAUSE I CAN ONLY WRITE ON PAPER AND NOT ABLE TO PHYSICALLY TOUCH OR FEEL IT I   FEEL LIKE ITS AN ITCH IN THE BRAIN THAT I CANNOT SCRATCH SO I NEED HELP WITH ALL ASPECTS OF GETTING MY IDEA OUT OF MY HEAD MADE REAL AND PUT ON THE MARKET COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME.

there is a place called invent tech i dont know if they are a good way to go or not though but i think they give you a patent at a low price or in my fiancees case though it didnt work.  He sent his idea into them and didnt hear anything back from them and about a month or so later he seen his idea on tv as a new invention.  He wanted to do an oven glove type thing with all five fingers so you have more grip and that but either he was to late or the place is a fake.  Good Luck 

  

 

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March 24, 2006, 12:36 pm PST

Free interactive business planner

http://www.cbsc.org/ibp/home_en.cfm 

  

thought I would pass this along. I am in the process of developing my own business. I found this website that offers a free interactive business planner. It sure gave me a lot to think about. sales, costs, marketing and a whole lot more. Good luck to all those with a dream! planning is the key! 

Coffee  

 
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March 24, 2006, 12:49 pm PST

03/24 Moms Money Conflicts

I have a problem that is bothering me a lot. My husband and I both work full-time jobs, working the same amount of hours per week. We both have weekends off. The problem: he makes a lot more money than I do. I have a vehicle payment and I buy all of the groceries (plus any misc. items needed for the household) out of my check. I have 3 children from a previous marriage, and so does he. I pay medical bills, misc. money for school things, clothes... basically anything my kids need, out of my paycheck. He does the same for his. I do ALL of the housework (we live in a 3900 sq. foot home, so it's hours worth of work) every Saturday. I do all cooking, laundry, ironing clothes, etc. in the house. I take pride in that our house is always spotless and I always make a home-cooked meal every night for my family (all while working that full-time job). In the spring/summer months, I even do all of the mowing and trimming outside. I'm not complaining...I love doing all of these things. The problem is my husband, who comes home from his job every day and does nothing but have a few beers. On the weekends he's outside doing things, but it's things he chooses to do more so than necessary things, which is ok. What's not ok is that he makes me feel bad because I don't give him money out of my paycheck for monthly bills...house payment, electric, phone, etc. My feeling is that I take care of myself and my childrens other needs, and doesn't all of the work I do at the home have some kind of value? He makes me feel that since I'm not contributing as much as he is money-wise, that I'm not doing my fair share. The fact is that after I take care of my own bills gas to go to work and my kids, I have no money left. Where is his fair share of the household duties, and doesn't that even things out? I'm also the one cooking and doing laundry for my step-children. He solely gets the pleasure of spending time with them talking and playing when they're home with us. Other that the money, I do everything for them, too. Am I the ones who's crazy?? HELP??
 
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March 24, 2006, 12:55 pm PST

DrPhilShow.

Dear Doctor Phil. I have seen this one before. But I will have to see it again. I like money alot but I donot like to spend alot myself.  Momstown is not aoption for myself but I do like it even though I- 

am not a Women at all.  See you at 03:00 P.M. To 04:00 P.M. Well I had better close now. Sincer- 

ley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 
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March 24, 2006, 1:03 pm PST

03/24 Moms Money Conflicts

Quote From: lpapas

Our stories are very similar, except my kids are still home.  They are early school age.  He works 80+ hours a week, while I take care of the kids, house and go to his business every day to help, do paperwork, etc.  I put in 15-20 a week there.  He is constantly complaining and criticizing how little I do, how I don't appreciate him, I could go on and on.  I have my name on the house, but other than that his name is on everything else.  I do not have access to a bank account.  I have my own bank account, but I don't make money so it pretty much just sits there unused.  I have a credit card for gas, groceries, etc., but he constantly threatens to take them away or cancel them.  He says I don't work, but I do.  He says I lay around all day, and boasts about eveything he does, how hard he works.  I suffer from low self-esteem, I have lost myself, my identity.  I am afraid to do anything when he is home.  If I am not being 'productive' I hear it! 

  

I thank you for writing in.  Hearing other people's stories helps!  I have an appointment with a lawyer tomorrow, to see legally where I stand, and if he every pulls the rug from under my feet I will be prepared.  I also applied for a job and have an interview on Wednesday.  I am going to prepare myself for the worst and not be a sitting duck anymore! 

  

  

I can relate to your situation. The difference is that I also work full-time, as does my husband. He still talks all the time about how nobody does as much as he does or works as hard. I do all of the housework, cooking, laundry, you name it, even the yard work in the summer, and work full-time. Just because I don't contribute as much as he does financially, I don't do enough. It does help to know that there is someone else going through the same things. I wish you luck. At least you have the guts to take steps to take care of yourself...I haven't yet gotten to that point. My name is on our house, too, but that's it. He doesn't even tell me anything of importance regarding our finances. If I had to take care of everything myself tomorrow, I wouldn't know how to access anything. Good luck to you.
 
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March 24, 2006, 1:06 pm PST

nail21

 first of all what an idiot husband.  What is he thinking, allowing this to go on in his house.  All she does is make the stuff, from what they said she has not tried once to actually sell those stupid things.  If I was her husband I would call the garbadge people and get them to take them to the dump and if she didn't like it, she could go with them.  But on the other hand, first before he does that, he should take advantage of Dr. Phils pros and see if he can get them sold.  I do wish them luck.

Now those two ladies, Lord give me strength.  They were acting like the horrible typical blonde.  They don't have a clue.  I have worked as a cashier in a large retailer for years and just watching and helping the store managers I know how much work there is involved.  They have those two husbands that are ready and willing to help them but all they want to do is giggle and drink and plan the fun part, give me a break, why didn't Dr. Phil have people are there that was really ready to go to work and give them the help they need instead of these morons.    Oh well, that's show business.  But to be fair maybe they got on the show so Dr. Phil could get in their face for a reality check, Stop tossing your pretty hair girls and get your hands dirty. 
 
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March 24, 2006, 1:07 pm PST

I Agree

Quote From: gidget1987

  

About the woman with the invention.....she is stupid and so is her husband.  How could anyone spend that much money and not carry through with everything else necessary to market a product?  That's like sitting on a bar stool every day, just knowing your ship will come in if you sit there long enough!  As for the invention, there are plenty of them like that. She should not put all of her eggs in one basket. She really needs to take classes in promoting, marketing, and strategy. I just can't believe, being on a low, fixed income, how anyone could throw away that amount of money. 

I can not even imagine spending that kind of money and not even looking into the feasibility of the product. I have an invention and I have done market research and I have done a paten search for Canada and the USA and then I found out how much a paten was and stopped. I could not even spend that amount of money for something I think is a great product let alone $200,000.00 on something that I have no idea if it is even out in the market place already.
 
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